Pat's Heart Valve Journal

I completely forgot to do a drive by yesterday and check in on my valversary! 3 years zipped on by like it was yesterday. You get to a point where you forget you had heart surgery and the zipper just becomes part of you as you look in the mirror. Wilbur is still doing his job, all signs and outcomes are holding steady - here's to 15 more years right? Advice to all those starting this adventure or smack in the middle. Keep your chin up, foster a great and positive attitude and the healing falls right in line where it should be. Oh and get up and walk, walk, walk.

Shout out to UW and TAVR. The future is near for us Aortic Valve future re - doers:-)!!! http://hsnewsbeat.uw.edu/story/device-test-may-determine-near-future-aortic-valve-repair

It's a ritual to stop by and check on others and celebrate anniversary dates now it seems. On this day two years ago I was popping Xanax like Tic Tacs worried sick out of my mind and pacing, pacing pacing. Surgery was scheduled for the 10th, but that wasn't to be. My surgical team had a more urgent case and mine was pushed. What does one do? Call the friends and head to the pub! The push was only two days, my two year is coming up on the 12th and I can't believe how time is flying. I'm not back to normal, I don't think you ever can be after this, we just have a new normal. Wilbur (well he's part Wilbur) the valve (St Jude Trifecta) has been doing a great job. I have oddities that come and go, quick heartbeats, some anxiety here and there and still get aches and pains, but am happy as heck to be able to type an update and wish great outcomes for all wherever you are in this process.

I forgot to post! My one year came and went on 2/12 and I forgot to mark the moment on this site. I guess that's a good sign for those wondering how this all pans out:-). The last 12 months have been a challenge and some of the best yet in my life I think. Going through this makes you realize you really need to live life because you only get one shot at it. For those headed in, just recovering or just starting this stuff - keep your eye on the prize and don't worry too much (easier said than done). Everything works out.

I swore I had no symptoms when I went in for surgery and was taking a leap of faith on technology and doctors. That is until I went to Colorado for Christmas this week and realized that for the past decade I've had symptoms at altitude all along. I figured I was just not good at adjusting, couldn't breathe, racing heart, and that was just part of the process of leaving sea level in winter. NOT so! Hopping on a plane earlier this week, I was nervous how my repair/replacement this past February was going to perform at high altitude. I was quickly astounded at how easy bounding up flights of stairs was - walking around, just breathing normally with no trouble. No lightheaded, no heavy breathing, nothing! On day two I started to annoy people with reminding them I could breathe without gasping. ("Yes Pat, we know you just came upstairs and you aren't gasping, yah yah"). So awesome. To all - Merry Christmas (if, of course you celebrate such things), and Happy New Year.

Today I turned 43, and to celebrate, I took the rest of the week off work to just hang out and catch up on daily stuff. I started the morning in a float tank. (http://floatseattle.com/). I didn't know quite what to expect, but I knew I wanted to treat myself. When I got into the tank, and everything was dark, all I heard and felt was my breathing and my very powerful heart beat. The powerful thumping has always been there since I woke up from surgery, I guess I had adjusted to it...until I was alone with it. ALL alone with no other stimulus. At first I didn't think I would be able to spend 60 whole minutes listening to and feeling my heart 'kerthunk' over and over, (doctors say it's just letting me know its doing its job, all things check out ok). With the constant thud in my chest, my mind could only ponder what has occurred over the last 9 months. My mind went back to the absolute fear pre-surgery and then the daze and haze of the next few months. I let my arms float in the salt water and stretched my sternum over and over. I remembered how much my body ached for months and months while recovering. I then found myself mentally checking every muscle, joint and movement surrounded by warm salt water, complete silence and darkness, and the kerthunk of my new valve and Dacron plumbing doing their jobs. Over the course of an hour, the last 9 months transformed in my brain. Everything fell into place and I found peace with my bum heart situation, surgery and recovery. People often measure progress at getting back to normal or pre surgery self, but I don't think you can ever return to the being you were after such a major process. Physically, I feel the same as before, if not better, as I've made strides in living a more healthy lifestyle and eating better. Emotionally, there is still work to do, patience, the blues, and just constantly worrying if I am wasting life hours are all topics I ponder a lot. I end my day after two hours of raking leaves and yard work- any bets on the ol' sternum letting me know exactly where I am in the process tomorrow;-)? To end this update, I would highly recommend tank therapy (IF your incision is all healed and you are cleared to get in a pool). I was so moved by this experience that I bought a three pack. Can't wait to go back and float and work through what's next!

I had a wedding that I knew about a year ago. In London. Self centered and worried about details on being able to stand the flight and travel I replied as tentative. Not knowing about meds or condition or anything but me. me. me... I'm happy to exclaim that sixth months out I'm headed from Scotland to London tomorrow for the scheduled wedding. So stoked that I got to see northern England and this weekend, my friend wed on Friday on the river Thames in London ..... For those worried about this surgery, Please don't. Things work out. I worried much more than I should have earlier this year. Now all the way from Seattle I push on. it's been a helluva week and I am grateful. Push on people. That's all we can do.

Six month zipper selfie. 75 SPF on Lake Washington. Off we go to the one year mark.

6 months! Sharing over my facebook post from last night:
Tomorrow marks the day 6 months ago the bone saw met my sternum. I checked in at 5:30am to UW scared out of my mind and in a daze. After much angst starting a main line, the Propofol kicked in and knocked me out, while experts made busy reconstructing parts of my ol' ticker and aorta into a modern day marvel. Scary sounding things like cutting into the "pericardial sac," "aneurysm repair" and "circulatory arrest" occurred over 5 hours of surgery, and I still can't believe I conquered any of it. Honestly, I am still trying to figure out how I pulled this off. 90% recovered and happy as hell to have pushed on through, old hermit and grumpy Patty is grateful and excited to see what the next half of 2015 has to bring. In the Open Heart Surgery club we mark milestones first by hours, then by days. Days somehow turn into weeks and months, and then we focus on years. There's no way to explain how I feel about living the hours to months so far- and how awesome it is to look forward to years with my Trifecta Aortic valve(tm) and Dacron tubes pumping away. Life is damn good.

Tomorrow morning I get on a plane and fly from the left coast to the other coast for work. All by myself. Just 4 months after OHS. I know I got this, I've flown several other times since my induction into this club, but this is different, I had people that "knew" on those planes. This is alone, this is just me being anonymous, hiding a zipper and a card in my wallet and being a grown up, that used to do all this stuff w/out a second thought up until February of this year. Kind of weird. Also, I hate heat and humidity and I'll be landing in DC where there is a whole lotta both. Here we go. Woosh.

Schnauzer pillow - zipper selfie.

I got my St. Jude's card in the mail today. Trying to figure out how I feel about it. I've looked at it a few times on the counter, but have yet to put it in my wallet.

Tomorrow is my surgery anniversary day and Friday will be the 4 month mark. Doing swell. Met with my cardiologist for check up and echo results and all is working as it should. They hooked me up to a Holter monitor last night to get 24 hours worth of heart rhythm while I dose down the Metoprolol and that's about it. I've chosen to stay on a small dose, even though my BP is around 115/75. I did this as the side effect of being less anxious and having my adrenaline blocked has been really pleasant for me. They scheduled me for a follow up in June of 2016 and it seems that my BAV/Anny saga is coming to a close just in time for summer. There are days that my sternum still aches and my chest complains if I over do it, not to mention being more tired than I can remember being - but they are becoming fewer and fewer.
In general I'd say I am right at 75%.
For those healing - keep at it, this road is so winding and trippy but I've learned a lot about myself driving down it.
For those heading into this new, it's easier said than done, but try not to worry, and keep up a good attitude, as that truly is the only thing you can control through all of this.
I wish you Peace.
Pat

Holy Cow (and pig and polyester)...see what I did there? It's looking like my heart is even less pissed off at me and the Trifecta valve is working. I was happy with resting rate in the 70s...but 65? I'll take it.

All a blur, all of it. Trying to figure out where the time has gone. Time has started to fade a lot of the angst and rough days. I probably wouldn't remember much if not for this journal. I've gone from worrying about heart rates and blood pressure and well, plain old dying - to being back immersed in the daily dramatic life that comes along with working in a quick, fast and young Ad Agency. For the most part I feel really good, I have days were I am just wrecked and tired. Today is one of them. There have been more days than not, that my sternum and upper body remind me of the trauma my poor body went through 90 days ago - but I always try and think of the alternative which isn't appealing. Still adjusting to having a huge scar down my chest every time I look in the mirror, but know that in time that will fade literally and figuratively as well. My next milestone is on June 9th. Echo, tests, and hopeful medicine decrease. If all goes well, I'll slam the Winter/Spring chapter closed on this book and I'll jump head on into Summer!

Had my Dermatologist check out my zipper. She advised against Mederma( she said she doesn't like the product) and advised Kelo-cote instead. Same price I'll give it a shot.

Doctors and Nurses, the PT and OT folks at the hospital, and every adviser at rehab. They all said the same thing; "guys in their 40s tend to push too hard, overdo it and injure themselves, we are warning you." Welp, this week I learned that they were very much referring to me. Feeling so good headed into week 12, I worked in the yard all weekend, and not just light gardening. I found myself taking out lots of pent up frustration on this heart surgery nonsense by getting rid of overgrowth and tree stumps, egged on by astoundingly beautiful weather. I mean really - my sternum is supposed to be completely healed and I feel ok right? Headed into Monday I was sore - I'm always sore somewhere it seems, so I pushed through at work, and after a taxing day headed to rehab, where I proceeded to alleviate work angst by hitting harder than usual cardio and resistance training. I realized my error of overdoing it - not Tuesday as you'd expect (I was in a bad mood and tired but nothing really off). I realized it on Wednesday, when I could barely get out of bed, and had a hell of a time moving any muscle from the waist up. We won't even talk about how pissed off my sternum was and is. I knew that stretching and moving my body would help, so I cautiously headed to rehab again but took it much easier and hobbled from machine to machine. Today was the same, but I am at least moving w/out audible guttural sounds. I've never felt so just plain old, tired and sore. I've learned a huge lesson in patience in progress for sure this week. I think the only physical activity I'll be up to this weekend is using one hand to hold my phone and the other to dial up a gardener, to finish up what I started last weekend:-).

Heart rate was 95 headed into surgery, and coming out of the hospital. Heart rate is now 75 at rest. Guess my pissed of heart is on the mend and digging the repairs!

Sneezing still sucks. It's still what I call treesonal allergy season up here in the great PNW and I sneeze about 6 times a day on average. Still don't like it;-).

9 weeks today, nothing to report. Work/Rehab/Sleep Work/Rehab/Sleep. Perhaps this whole recovery thing is getting routine and boring to me? I'll take routine and boring for sure. Happy healing for those on this side, Peace and strength to those who are prepping to come to this side.

I always reflect on Thursdays as that was the day of the week I checked in to UW, but it's officially been 2 full months. I really can't believe it. It's all been a blur really. I've thought a lot about how I feel in three or less words. Humble, Grateful, and damn Proud of myself (ok that's more than three but you get my point). I would be lying if I were to say it wasn't all that bad. Truth is, there were parts early on that just sucked. Having my surgery delayed two days after I was mentally all in was not optimal. Days one and two in ICU were not my favorite, and there were some bumps in the road that really did suck, but as I've said time and again; situations change every 12 hours and through the ups and downs I was learning about myself, and my will to remain on this spinning planet. My body still aches more than it doesn't, it still hurts to lay down and get up at times, and my heart has powerful and concerning beat rhythm in the mornings that I can feel in my throat - but I am alive and very grateful to be so. I'm also grateful that I was able to travel to my dear friend's wedding last week in Hawaii, that I was healthy enough to laugh (although it hurt like hell still) and cavort with family and friends.
I'm back to work and in rehab for 36 visits, so things are quickly getting back to normal, I'd say I am at 75% and can't wait to be back to 100. I am so glad I have this forum to check in with and keep my concerns minimized. For those healing - keep it up! For those heading into this, it's easy to say from this side, but try not to worry, worry isn't going to change any outcomes, but your attitude will help with how you deal with those outcomes. Health and Peace to all. Pat

I did it! I broke a HR of 120! Now granted it was late in the day and I drank a lot of caffeine today but I got my rate up to a whopping 124 at rehab. A nice way to celebrate 8 Thursdays.

We will call this the go back to work selfie. Oddly emotional. The return to work jitters have come to visit for sure.

Final Maui sunset. Back to reality tomorrow.

Aloha! 7 weeks ago I was laying on the table. This week I've been finishing off recovery in Maui and attending a friend's wedding. Next week is work, still trying not to think of that!

Cardio cardio cardio. I upped my game today at rehab and got my HR to a whopping 116 and my BP to 122/74. We have tried and tried to break a HR of 120 but that's my limit thanks to metoprolol. I asked my case manager if he was proud of my 116 and he said he'd never felt more pride. I also had the first twinge of go back to work dread today. My rehab team told me that re entry to working world day is draining and tough, so I'm definitely glad to see my anxiety is in working order, and I can worry about it for the next couple weeks:). And for no good reason, I love my job. Trying to stay in The moment and get some stuff done with the TV off now, at least until Judge Judy comes on!

The sore neck and back finally forced my hand (or someone else's hands as it were) at trying a massage today. One of my (maybe many) quirks, is that I don't really dig people I don't know touching me. I'm also nervous about laying on my stomach, but I found a good cardio massage therapist that massages people 10 days post op. Funny how something that is suppose to be relaxing and healing can cause anxiety:-).

I was telling one of my case managers at rehab that OHS had really shaken my confidence, that coming home from the hospital I was terrified to walk too far from my house or be alone for too long. When I got to drive again I was anxious about something going wrong with my ticker while I was on the freeway at high speed. He just looked at me funny and said 'But you are a fit and strong guy, you came through this very well.' And I realized in a flash that I wouldn't be able to articulate to him or anyone who hasn't been down this road how hard this process had been on my psyche. I am fiercely independent. I am the control freak of my circle, I take care of others and never ask for help. This surgery has humbled me so much. There was about 48 hours post op where I had to rely on everyone around me to facilitate even the simplest tasks. Over the last weeks I have slowly yet quickly gained back so many of the things I take for granted. A huge lesson to never think of a simple walk with my dog as a chore, or being able to descend the stairs in my house without worrying about a tumble. My 5 week advice to all, when you are in the hospital talking to OT and PT, start the rehab conversations then, and get to it as soon as you are cleared. I am glad they pushed me to start on week 4 post op. Talking to other people like me and working out and learning with them has been the most healing thing for me this week. I've spent the last few weeks feeling blue and sore and stiff and that is all changing with my visits to my new 'gym'. Next session is next Monday and I can't wait!

Left rehab yesterday and ran some errands. Felt something itching me. Only OHS people would find this funny?

Bidding a fond farewell to my recovery recliner today.

I just realized I've become a pro at using my legs and feet for every day tasks. Just now I sorted four loads of laundry with my feet. Partly because I was being lazy and still don't like to bend over, and partly because I overdid it yesterday and my sternum is not happy and letting me know this morning. There's a plus side always right?

Where have 4 weeks gone? Good days and bad days and freak out days all have zipped on by. Odd heartbeats,fevers and sweats, and just feeling crappy, all managed and dealt with as time stood still and raced by at the same time. Thankful the good days out weigh the other days for sure. I celebrated this day by getting my car keys back and heading into the office to say hello to my team and catch up on all the good gossip I've missed out on. After a couple hours I noticed I was tired and my brain wasn't computing much so I headed home to the trusty recliner, which sadly goes back next Monday.
Things I like this week:
All scabs are off the zipper, no more wound care. My zipper is just a scar now, still trying to get used to seeing it.
More energy, I'm feeling pretty darn good.
SLEEP - I'm clocking 9pm to 9am in a flat position - oh how I already dread getting up early for work in a few weeks.
SIDE SLEEP - I woke up one night this week sleeping on my side, I took this as a sign that my body was ready to do this again, I still use my heart pillow to transition from my back to my side but I'm now side sleeping and I love that.
Advice for newbies:
Know that your bad and worst day can only last 24 hours, tomorrow is always different, and more often than not - will be better.
Get a recliner if you can, I am already mourning the return of mine next week.
Keep a positive attitude, even if you get the blues, find one thing you are grateful for each day and say it out loud. Might sound cheezy but I swear it helps.
As always I want to relay my continued thanks and gratitude to all on this site, I'd be a mess without the support. More later.

Has anyone dealt with PVCs post op? I was treated to a really trippy round of them this weekend and went in to get them checked out. That extra triple thump is exhausting after a while. The ER could not figure out the cause, my cardiologist couldn't figure out the cause, so I stopped all sugar, supplements, vitamins, Tylenol, and allergy meds and so on and I am feeling fine. They just came on Saturday afternoon through Sunday out of the blue. Monday I went protein and veg only in my diet and knock on wood, feeling great with a calm, normal heartbeat. I wonder if I was consuming too much sugar or vitamins (neither of which I was consuming much of). 3 things Pat doesn't like post op; sneezing, Afib, and now, PVCs. ick.

This is my walking track in my neighborhood. Only a matter of time until the Chestnut tree canopy has leafed out!

So much change, so much happening yet time still seems suspended and racing by at the same time. Can't believe it's been three weeks at this exact time where they were probably opening up my chest. So many trials and triumphs since then. A bonus for this milestone - I slept through the night! Clear through till 8am. No insomnia. I'll take it! All in all I feel great. Visited w/ my cardiologist this week and the check up was quick and to the point. I'm to stay on Metoprolol for a few months, my zipper looks good, and my heart rate (resting of 95) will start to go down as my heart stops being so ticked off. They actually found that I was anemic, so they prescribed red meat and iron pills which I can handle. I started that two days ago and think I am actually feeling better already. Lots of hamburgers and meatloaf in my future for a while. And with that, they told me they would see me in June for an echo and baseline. That's it. No more appointments until summer. So odd to me, I pictured appointment after appointment and follow up and after care, but the team is like - keep an eye on your pressure, and heart rate, let us know if you slip into Afib again, get to Cardiac Rehab - and we will see you in a few months. I'm grateful for all this, I know my road (knock wood) has been easier than others, I reflect on that often. I've also thought a lot about what to prep others facing this on with the wisdom I've gained, so here's what's on my mind today for the newbies:
Let your care giver(s) know prior to surgery that you appreciate them and everything they are about to undertake. It's hard on them and you forget to tell them once the rubber meets the road. Once you get home, they want normal and it's not normal for a while. There are good days and bad days, and remind them that this is not about anything they are doing, it is what it is and not personal.
Get ready for some sleepless nights. Get your mind in a space and prepared for those times where you just can't sleep, I took the hours of insomnia as an opportunity to just be and reflect until the Tylenol PM kicked in.
Get a heating pad! Shoulders and back start to really ache on week two. Sleeping on the heating pad helps so much.
Be a little selfish with your time - I haven't really wanted to visit much and I've set this expectation with everyone, that If I say I'm not up for visitors or it's time for them to go, it's time to go - nothing personal, it' just really exhausting while you are trying to heal because you find yourself trying to be polite or accommodating or entertaining, and that gets exhausting (for me at least).
Walk - sometimes you just don't feel like it, the crappy days are the worst, it just feels better to sit and be, but I've found if I get my rear up and out of the recliner and move my body I feel better over all all day, not just portions of it.
Watch Live with Kelly and Michael and Price is Right. They start my day off just right!
I'll end this with a huge thanks to all those in this forum that have contributed to my healing with their advice and thoughts, and with a big ol' You CAN do this - to anyone that is heading into the journey.

Ran into this via a nurse friend. http://youtu.be/EqUfgffJx_8

Thursday was my 14 day post op mark, so today is day 16, I can't believe it goes so fast. I am delayed in updating as the last few days haven't been so great, and not for any bad reasons. Just the 'down' days that everyone here has had as they recover. I got a great night sleep last night and today is a good day. Thursday was check in day w/ my Surgeon, I got myself to the hospital (thanks Uber) and felt half way independent again. I hadn't gone anywhere but my blocks around my house since my surgery. The surgeon's appointment went down so fast that I was reeling, EKG while yanking drainage tube stitches, and checking my limbs for swelling. All was well. A few people looked at my zipper, said I was in good shape, recommended vitamin E cream for scarring and then came goodbyes. I was scheduled for a CT on 2/26/16. Wait - stop. What? This was it? My surgical team was saying goodbye, I was not ready. Now granted, my Cardiologist is in the same office as the surgical team, and I see her next week, but it's different. I had been through such intensity with these surgical folks and they were moving on to the next person that needed them. It really knocked me back, I was sad, confused, and really just not prepared to be done w/ the surgery portion. It happens so fast. I understand that this is normal for people that travel for the procedure, they have a forced goodbye as they have to go home. I just wasn't expecting it so soon since I live so close. So the update: I'm apparently doing swell. I've got a bit of the cardiac blues, but the sun is out and I try to walk in it as much as I can. They are also hassling me about rehab in the next couple weeks, and I intend to take full advantage of that benefit. To anyone starting this process, do know - it kind of just speeds by, the healing is one day at a time, but over all, not so bad I have to say. More later after my cardiologist check in next week.

Come on... Is it time to walk? Can we walk? Can we?

Nine years ago I trained my dog to not use my yard for poo. We went on walks and that was business time. Of course he'd need to use the yard on occasion when his belly was bad but for the most part we have two walks a day for nine years. I can't figure out if I am cursing my training or should celebrate it now, especially during those times I feel like crap. There's another human to walk him in the house but we decided I need to own this as a forcing function of movement. And while I own walking, I don't have to like it:).

I think I've read it time and again here, but I experience extreme body temperature swings. I can be freezing with gloves and hat on watching TV to sweating to death resorting to walking outside to cool off. Anyone else got this going on? Also - the sleep sweat thing, ugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXxo2IOU-iw

4:30am totally asleep. 4:31am VERY awake. I sneezed in my sleep, no pillow, no time for prep - nothing. Talk about a rude awakening. Two things on the list Pat doesn't like post op: Afib and surprise sneezes.

On afternoon walk I ran into my neighbor who is a wound care RN and also suffers from Afib. I was so excited to show her my incison - so there we are on the sidewalk, her looking down my shirt as passerby looked on she ooohed and awwwed. She thought my zipper was cool and says it looks great for a week out And to stop by her house if I need her services! I told her I appreciate the gesture but hope not to need help with my incision:).

The grumpy black cat has warned me not to move.

I'm just going to keep posting as memories come onboard. That's what journals are for right? I was just out walking my pup and realized I was favoring my incision and slouching. My favorite caregiver came to mind. Mi Sook took me on several first walks, and would very firmly In very thick Korean accent command: "Pat head back. Shoulders back. BIG WIDE steps - you walk like you are a king from this point forward." I can now picture what my neighbors are thinking. Look at the way that guy walks....

I celebrated by logging 8.5 hours of glorious sleep in my own bed last night, laying almost flat. Woke up feeling great!

The Schnauz doesn't dig being disturbed due to Lasix side effects.But insists on curling up after each time I make him move. He was also the first to jump on my incision. I thought it would be my cat. Ps. It didn't feel good:)

Sunday morning I converted to Afib. I don't like Afib. I know the stats, I know it's common, I just would prefer to not be one of the lucky ones. So I spent 2 hours Sunday morning off rhythm, seeing 175 (that was the highest) on the monitor wasn't the best, but I was able to remain calm because of this community, and knowing what to expect. They got that under control with Metoprolol and it was so nice to stop running the race. Until 3pm - just after my chest tubes came out. The ol' ticker laced up the track shoes to race around the track for another long 2 hour race. They tried Alemendral or whatever it's called by IV, didn't do a thing. They then gave me Metoprolol along side of this and I finally converted back. Knock on wood - no races planned in the future. I checked out with a script for Toprol XL morning and night 50 mgs.