Bradley's Heart Valve Journal

HANG IN THERE!

I still keep up with this forum even though I post less and less. I know there are a few out there posting that are struggling. I think some of my post made things seem easy. They were NOT. However, each struggle is different. I struggled with aFib and hallucinations but didn't have any real pain.

I recall being in my hospital room, in aFib, getting an injection of metoprolol.. based on my reaction, you would have though I was a heroin addict getting a fix. It felt amazing.

I only wanted to eat grapes and watermelon. I can't explain it.. I got little of both. The only watermelon I got was from a fruit cup from downstairs at the CC. I did order grapes every meal, but they weren't enough but that was all they would give me. The baked fish and chicken breasts were always dry.

I struggled mentally for a few days due to aFib and having hallucinations . A few days later I escaped but hung around Cleveland a few days longer against my plans in order to go to a follow up appointment. Finally I left Cleveland, one day before my AB&B expired. The drive home was long. We stopped every so often to take a break, walk and get gas. I sat in the back seat to do my best to avoid the sun light so I wouldn't sneeze. I believe we ended up leaving around 3:00AM and arrived home early that evening (Evans, GA).

Each step of the way, the recovery gets better and easier.

Tonight, I have what appears to be the final game of my son's baseball season (if we lose.. and we play an undefeated team, our season is over..)

A couple of dads know what I have been through and told me Friday night at our practice... they would have no clue what I had been through if they didn't know me. There were healthy fathers sitting on their butts watching..

After practice, I hit a few balls and launched a couple close to 400ft... after I was done, I looked over a
t the parents and said, "anyone else want to hit?" I didn't get any takers!

KEEP WORKING...
KEEP FIGHTING...

Whatever your BASEBALL is, is on the other side of recovery!!!!

First bad bruise since surgery. That's my inner left thigh... Ouch... Diameter around 5 inches.

Today I lost a game of 1:1 (basketball) to an 11 year old. I randomly saw him at the gym as I was there with my family to lift weights. He also is on my rec ball team and is a really good baseball player. He lost his father a couple years ago and is being raised by his grandmother.

When I found this out a few weeks back I told her, "I don't know what you are doing, but keep doing it." He is really a great kid and super respectful.

His brother who has cerebral palsy is also similar.

Sorry but had to share. Let's focus on the fact I was competitive against a 11 year old and was playing 1:1 and not the fact I lost.

Not all heart related but I had to share.

7 months ago today!

My cardiologist is leaving the state. I have to pick a new one (ugh). This will be my 4th in 5 years now.

My first one I had for over 20 years, then I picked the one I have now (he started at CC). I had a temporary one in Cleveland. Now I am about to get my 4th.


Had a few palpitations the past few days carrying a bunch of equipment to the baseball field. Other than that, things are well.

My updates are getting further and further apart. I guess that is a good thing. I do check in here from time to time and try to keep up with the people that had surgeries near mine and provided support for me. Thank you all!

Mentally, I think I am back to normal. I see my temper flare at times but I try to keep it under control. I get unhappy when we are leaving the house and I am the first one ready and I have to wait on everyone else or when my kids don't give 100% effort in whatever they are doing.

To whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48).

Somethings I haven't wanted to talk about publicly or privately I am now coming to grips with. The ticking sound has been a topic I have not shared. For the longest time I have just tried to ignore it and not mention it. It is loud. When I am doing things, I don't hear it. If I am concentrating on something at work, I don't hear it. If I am lifting weights, playing basketball or with my kids on the baseball field, I don't hear it. In other words, I try to stay busy.

My incision area itches. I love showering and washing the area. When I do this, my leg shakes like a dog getting his belly rubbed. Luckily I shower twice a day due to my activity level.

I likely have had too much stress at work lately. Had a few pains from that in the chest area. I try to take breaks and walk away for a bit when that happens ( I work from home full time).

I am also eating fish a couple times of a week (Tuna / Salmon).

On another bright side, I am coaching two baseball teams this spring. I am the head coach for my son's team and an assistant coach for my daughter's team.

I am also going to spend a few days at The Masters come April. I will be taking my son to his first trip to Augusta National. That will be a lot of walking.

Good luck to all out there form whom will be having surgery soon or are still recovering.

I wanted the time to speed up, now I want it to slow back down. Here is what my last 5 days have looked like.

Friday - Baseball practice for 90 minutes.
Saturday - Baseball practice for 90 minutes.
Sunday - Baseball practice for 150 minutes.
Monday Baseball practice for 60 minutes.

My kids are doing the practicing but it is just as much work on me as it is on them.

Tuesday - Shot around on the court for 30 minutes + 30 minutes of weights.
Wednesday - Want to go to gym but not sure I can find the time.

Thursday - ??? My son has private pitching lessons so we won't do baseball together. Likewise, we took the past few days off from that due to the weather.

Friday - Weather should be good so we should be on the baseball field.
Mentally I am fine - physically I feel good too. I need to try to ride my bike and compare to before surgery to see where I am at there.


Just pointing out what can be on the other side of recovery!

Did anyone hope they would wake up from surgery with a new immaculate skill or ability?

I was hoping I would wake up and be able to sing and maybe be a better guitar player. No such luck to both.

Merry Christmas to everyone in the zipper club!

27 Total Sessions...

It has been 15 weeks for me. Where has the time gone? I went to Orlando last week. It was the first time I was separated from my wife for more than a few hours since surgery. I went to Top Golf Thursday for a fun work outing and I swung a golf club. There was no pain and little fear. It did quickly make me recall why I don't play golf.

Today I threw a baseball again with my boy. It was wet so we didn't get much work in. However, once again no pain and this time I let loose. I pretty much threw as hard as I wanted. Of course most of my arm strength is gone but I know it will come back.

I'm looking forward to dryer warmer days!

I ordered my son a really nice new bat for Christmas to go along with his glove. I'm really looking forward to seeing him with both!

Back on the heart front (who wants to talk about that). I have been having a few PVCs.. more than right after surgery but not as many as before.

Typing from phone.. Please excuse poor English and broken sentences.

The worst part about graduating from Cardiac Rehab is watching friends leave and never to return as they are on a different schedule than you. No, I haven't graduated yet. I have that date set for Christmas Eve if they have a class that day. If they cancel, then I will have it the Thursday before.

My son at rehab with me Monday ... Checking out the heart monitors on the computers.

I threw a baseball today for the first since surgery. I didn't throw hard due to some fear. There was no pain. The weather is beautiful here today. I have lost track of weeks. I think I'm two days short of 10 weeks. My goal was to start throwing after 12 weeks... So I guess I'm a little ahead of schedule.

Tomorrow is my 18th rehab day. I'm doing some jogging there for short periods... I think they have me scheduled for 24 total.

My heart story of the day:

Going to rehab this morning, I was stopped by security in the parking lot and asked, "do you have business here.... "

I just lifted up my shirt and showed off my scar.

I threw a Nerf football twice over the weekend with my kids. I was stiff and didn't throw it like I did a few months back. Fear was holding me back, no pain... but really stiff and tight. I need to stretch more.

Lifting weights now twice a week in rehab. I really enjoy the weight lifting more than the cardio. I think I have 6 total sessions left.

Baby steps..... wanting to throw a baseball badly..

Today was the final day of my third week of rehab. I try to push myself pretty hard when I am there. I have been getting faster every visit while on that treadmill. I joke with the people working there, "If I survive this thing, I haven't been pushing myself hard enough."

Today, I managed to jog the last couple of minutes (15 total) on the treadmill. I was at around 4.5MPH. This isn't rocket speed but it was a jog for me. The lady next to me told me I should slow down. The people that work there told me they aren't use to hearing thumps of someone running. IT FELT GREAT.

So, then I go to the bike, I keep pushing myself. Then, they check my blood pressure. It was 170 / 80. YIKES. I got a little scared.. they told me I might should slow down a bit.. so I just "slept" on the bike for the final 10 minutes.

When I left, my pressure was back to normal. I also finished my session with my first real weights in 20+ years. I am going to be hurting tomorrow.

BUT JOGGING FELT GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankful!

7 Week Anniversary.

Went to Lowe's with the wife today and my daughter (home schooled). Walking through Lowe's and in the parking lot, my wife said she couldn't keep up. Getting back to my old self :)

Dr. Svennson likely wouldn't be too happy with me today.

I prob did too much this weekend. Today is 7 weeks - two days.

Yesterday I edged my drive, blew it off and trimmed by the lake behind my house. My wife cut the grass. It is almost an acre. We have a self propel mower. After the first time she cut it, she told me I could go get a riding mower... This was after I was cutting it with a bad heart in 95 degree weather.

Well today, I used a chainsaw and trimmed A crepe myrtle. It had been trimmed last year but this thing is too big by a house and it was driving me crazy.

The morning was too pretty I couldn't sit inside and walking isn't for me. I like being active doing things.

Oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?

Was supposed to have a baseline echo done today. I get to the local community hospital in my county...... I get there, sit down and they are ready to take me! YEAH!


What do you know. They ask me to sit in one of those small rooms and they start asking me the SAME EXACT QUESTIONS AGAIN! This is the SAME hospital I have been to 5 times in the past week.
They ask me my address, phone number, insurance... Then I see 2 pieces of paper in her hand that i am not going to want to even look at. I wanted to do an echo and be GONE! I AM SICK OF QUESTIONS!

Then they asked for a co-pay of $60. I said no. I have reached my out of pocket max. I am not paying you anything. "You have to pay...." She walked to go talk to someone and I said just forget it.. I walked out and said, "I am sick of this shit."

I had a bad temper when I was younger but for the most part it is dormant. However, repetition of things I don't like set it off.

I go to a local pharmacy and they don't even ask for co-pay anymore. Their system tells them not to. The same should be so for the Hospital. Heck, they should have better IT Systems.

NO ECHO FOR ME!

I arrived and talked to a therapist. She was surprised I was not going to see my surgeon again. I told her they just said, "6 weeks" and I would be released back to most things (driving, weight over 10lbs).

She got a nurse to look at my chest to make sure it was safe to lift weights... which it was.

I told her I lifted 45lbs over the weekend (fertilizer). I released myself a few days early (what is a few days right??).

I ended up on a bike for 15 minutes, treadmill for 20 and I lifted REALLY small weights for about 10. After I was done they asked me how it was. I told them I needed a cigarette. Of course they knew I didn't smoke and I have never smoked.

I also got sneeze 3 out of the way. They are getting easier each time, with each passing day.

Upward and onward.

First day of Cardio Rehab today... it came about quickly. They called and setup an appointment yesterday late with my wife. They said they would just talk to me today. Let me walk 6 minutes with a monitor on and come up with a plan.

I am not really looking forward to going. It is downtown which is 30+ minutes from my house and this will be the third day in a row I have had to go down there....

Day 35:

Today is the official 5 week mark. Time flies. It seems more like a week. I honestly have no clue what I have been doing the past few weeks.

Went to my cardiologist today. He was a little late due to having to run to the hospital to see a mental patient. He walked in the room and apologized. Since this was only the second time I saw him I told him, "That is okay. I don't like seeing you anyways. The last time (and first) I saw you, you told me to go have surgery." He laughed.

Well, turns out I got my clearance to return to work ASAP. I also asked about lifting weights and such. He said I could start when my sternum heals. He said maxing out was not a good idea but lower weights and more reps would be okay. This is fantastic as I haven't been allowed to lift weights in 20+ years!

He also took me off of some of my medication. He told me to stop the amiodarone immediately, he took my off baby aspirin and he cut my Toprol from 100mg to 50mg a day. I am now off most of my pills which I was getting sick of taking!

He said everything sounded good but wants me to have a baseline echo just for the record(ASAP).

Other than that, he said I don't have to come back for 6 months!

He also gave me a second referral for rehab (GP gave me one a couple of weeks ago but it didn't seem to go through).

Dr appointment tomorrow morning to try to get clearance to return to work. Tomorrow is exactly 5 weeks.

Day 32 (I Think)

Flashback:

I never shared my hospital experience in detail. Likely because it was awful. I had extreme anxiety and I was fidgety.

When I woke up in the ICU, I just remember being extremely nervous. I didn't want to talk or move or anything. My wife would come in and rub my skin which was extremely soothing and calmed me down. Cell phones were going off all around me and driving me insane (they should NOT be allowed in the ICU). People that were much older than me were awake in the ICU, talking on the phone like they were normal. There is no way I could have done this. One time, I told my wife "don't leave." However, all she heard was "leave." She disappeared for 2 hours. This was terrible. I kept thinking, "where in the hell is she!!!!!" She felt so bad when I told her the truth later.

I remember my ICU nurse sitting me in a chair every morning very early so when Dr Svensson would walk by, he could see me. This was the best part. I much rather of been in the chair than in that bed.

I couldn't lift my head for a couple of days and I needed a lot of help standing up for a while too.

Now let's fast forward to step down. I couldn't sit still. I was in AFIB and that could have been part of the reason. My heart was racing at 130 yet I was not moving. Maybe my mind thought I should be running a marathon.

The TV in my room didn't work. This was fine though. I could not look at the screens of electronic devices. This was scary as I work with computers all day. I didn't know if this was forever or what.

Now, this is the scary part. I was hallucinating. I did not tell anyone until it had stopped. It lasted two days in step down. I would see things moving on the floor. I would also see say a knife or pen on the food tray move instantly 90 degrees then snap back. The strange part about this is half the knife was not physically visible to my eyes, yet, I saw it. Was this vision from memory, was it made up or did it display a power of the human brain that is untapped.

I have never done ANY illegal drugs in my life. So, the entire concept of hallucinating was terrifying to me. I thought it was the narcotics. I hated the fact there were so many things on my body. At one time, I asked to have the oxygen censor removed from my finger. They said they needed it since I had the fentanyl drip, I needed to have it on since it effects your breathing.

I wasn't using the button for the drip. So, I said, let's make a deal. Take the drip away, take this thing off my finger and remove this IV. So, the nurse called the doctor and got that approved. In reality, it didn't help much but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I had a nurse who was great. I think her name was Silva. I believe she was Slavic. I told her what I had been experiencing. She said something to me no other nurse had. She thought my brain could have been overloaded with blood and oxygen and my senses were overloaded due to this. It makes sense. I have mentioned that to other doctors and they dismiss that idea. But when your aortic valve is bad and severely leaking, you never know.

My Surgery was on a Tuesday, by Saturday I was watching college football and Atlanta United on my phone. It wasn't super pleasant but I was able to look at the screen some by then. I still didn't feel like reading due to the pixels on a screen (and I read A LOT).

I hope this doesn't scare anyone. It does go away. I have had some anxiety the past few weeks but that is much better now too. I refused my narcotics prescription as I was leaving CC. I also refused the Xanax. There were a few times I almost called to get the Xanax but I pushed through it. My local general practitioner said he would give me some if I thought I needed them. I told him I would call if I did. I am just scared of addiction.

I will try to answer any questions if someone has them.

Enjoy this wonderful College Football Saturday!

I haven't sneezed in over four weeks!

Nerves are somewhat better today. I can't explain it but the mental part is what has been bothering me.

Went to hospital today to talk to nurse and going to the office, I walked up three flights of stairs. It wasn't easy and I had to pause to do it but I made it. There were a lot of people on the elevator so I chose the "easier" route.

Wife goes and gets me whatever I want to eat. I'm only eating about a meal a day and it's only what I crave. Today it was a small Wendy's hamburger and a large Frosty. I guess, mostly what I crave is very high calorie.

I layed oh my stomach yesterday... Sort of... My pelvic area was supported with pillows so there was no real weight on my chest.

Slept in my bed last night but woke up at 3:00am and couldn't go back to sleep... Mind started racing and I had to get up and move to sofa which helped.

I have self diagnosed myself with Brachial plexus. I mentioned it to my nurse today and she had no clue what that was.

On The backs of each arm, I have some tenderness and numbness. This is mostly on the right arm. I read it will get better slowly as it takes a while for nerves to heal.


Also talked to my boss today for the first time since I've been gone. He is ready for me to return and commented on how 'easy' I make things look...

That's likely enough for this update.

Day 21

Felt normal for the first time today.... Forget the morning... But this evening both my kids had sporting events at the same time.

I tried to walk between both of them as they were in the same park but it would of been too far uphill from my daughter back to my son so I didn't attempt it.


Son was 0-0 in baseball with a BB and a run scored. Game ended with him on deck down a run (lost 6-5). He played 2nd and center field. Had an error at second.

Daughter lost 2-1 in soccer with her scoring the only goal and both goals her team gave up happened quickly when she was on the bench.

I then came home and my guitars were calling my name... I couldn't resist and picked up my SG and played a good 20 minutes... I suck but still love it.. SG likely weighs around 8lbs... Fingers were more off than normal but that's okay.. it felt good and I didn't experience much discomfort.

20 days... Scar will almost be invisible... Pretty straight too. 2/3 drainage holes aren't close to healed yet.

Females you can quit reading here if you like... This post is about sex.






Guys,
I know the walk up two flights of stairs rule. I'm pretty close to that... But being somewhat young I gotta have something after so long.

My libido is off the charts at the moment. Is this normal? I've always loved women and always been faithful to my wife. Right now though my mind is going nuts thinking about sex. I wake up at 5:00 in the morning and lay there thinking about all sorts of women for two hours before I fall back asleep.

I then wake up around 9:30 or so.

Sorry if this is off topic. However, I would think everything about our minds and bodies would be on topic.

Day 17.

Spent a lot of time outside the house today. Went to lunch at a Thai place I love and ate everything like I was healthy. I didn't think I would be able to eat half but I didn't leave a thing.

Went to grocery store after that and walked a good bit. It was super cold in there for me but I managed.

I lifted some milk and some cat food at the same time which was prob over my 10lb limit.

Coughing doesn't hurt like it did a week ago. I still haven't sneezed which seems crazy to me. Likewise, I haven't had the hiccups either (which I often get from spicy... Thai food).

I want to nap now if I can. Son has another baseball game this evening that I don't want to miss.

Day 16.

Left the house today for the first time since arriving home from Cleveland. Went to son's baseball game. It was muggy but not too bad since it didn't start until 7:00.

Haven't been walking much. But still over a mile a day total. Going to bathroom is my biggest problem and the only thing that hurts me.

This is causing me to watch what I eat and continue to lose weight. I'm already skinny being 6'2 and now down to 182lbs.

This evening I asked my wife to go get me some high fiber waffles... She didn't know they existed but she found some and I ended up eating 4!

As soon as things get back to normal I told her I was going to go to this local pizza place that's really good and eat an entire large myself.

I also still need help showering (took two today due to baseball game).

I should also add this is much easier when you have an amazing spouse.. my wife has been great. I couldn't imagine doing this alone.

Day 13 stats.

My left arm...

My surgery was last Tuesday. I was out of ICU Thursday and got back to my Airbnb in Cleveland Monday.

I'm not in much pain but haven't turned on my phone until yesterday. Trying to avoid stress from it.

My biggest pain is going to bathroom and left arm joint where they stuck me good. It has a huge knot and bruise.

No incision pain and only chest discomfort. No narcotics.

Having trouble sleeping. Average now any 4 hours a night which is twice what I was getting in the hospital.

I'll post more later. Sorry for phone typos.

Even though I didn't join the community until late. I lurked for a long time. Thanks for the support.