Steven's Journal

*creak* (opens door and peeks in... It's been a while. We are settling in, finally, in our home on Vancouver Island. October was "visit" month with loads of visits from friends and family, including my Dad who flew out to be with us. It's teaching us what "normal" will look like. That said the weather has been anything BUT normal. We had the same rain that the US northwest had, but it has devastated mainland BC and cause havoc here on the island. The only viable road into and out of Victoria was closed due to a major flood and subsidence. The problem? I had a cardiologist appointment today. They have managed to create almost a lane for traffic to get through and facing hours of lineups we got out of our house by 4:30 to arrive in line for 5:30. Made it the appointment and I can say that I like this doc a lot. He talked with me about "the new normal", and he didn't mean settling in to the house or getting used to the weather. Meds have been adjusted (higher beta blockers). I will have a holter monitor next week. Aneurysm is stable but I am now moving into the "moderate" regurgitation category. I've been having flutters (A-Fib?) and he wants to find out why there is arrythmia. That said, I feel like I'm in great hands both with the surgeon and the cardiologist.

It has been a long time. A long, busy, exhausting and maybe rewarding time. We took possession of our new home nearly 8 weeks ago and the intervening time has been spent in an attempt to break Steven. We moved in. We found out that there were some pressing things that needed to be done. Soffit and fascia, mould remediation, removing 2 of the 6 doors in this tiny cottage (SIX???), removing trim and taking stucco away from windows to repair rot, demolishing an internal wall, repairing an exterior door, stacking 2 cords of wood in 2 hours... and more with help from trades (stucco, rewiring the house). The budget is gone, my body hurts. I am a bit more tired than anticipated and I know it's the ticker. Today I had an echo and it was the nicest one I've ever had. I told them up front that I knew my condition and when they imaged the valve and I heard the murmur I said "Well that's the regurgitation..." They laughed and said "You know your stuff..." Oh well, I'll have the results either tomorrow or Monday and the surgeon is referring me to a local cardiologist so that'll be good. Now that the woods are clear I plan on, um, retiring I guess. Taking it, um, easy, I guess. Being less exhausted. I'll be around more. I get hope reading your stories.

Update from Lotus Land or Honeysuckle Haven While we wait to close, take possession and move the health side of things is taking care of itself... at least the pros are taking care of things. Two weeks after moving I have an echo and work up scheduled. Clinic manager said to my response at their being quick.. "I'm the quarterback. I NEVER drop the ball." Have had a few bouts of heart skipping or flubadubbing that are new to me so that's a bit of a relief to know that I don't have to find heart pros. Looking forward to having more than this phone to connect with.

Ana caught me at a moment when I can come up for air. We have a house and will move at the end of next month. For now we are living with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law on a fairly remote island and doing the administrivia dance to get all the things lined up that need to be. Our home is an hour from the surgeon and a 5 minute walk to an urgent care clinic. Also 5 minutes from the wilderness and 4 doors down from the fitness centre. We weren't the highest bid, but we beat out 21 others... crazy times. BP is high and I will go to the island clinic to see what can be done. Other than that... here's where I am movin to.! Will return when things settle. Hang in there all!

Well gang, the moving vans come tomorrow and we'll be rattling around an empty house for a couple of days before heading off to... well we're not sure. We'll be living with my brother-in-law for a bit until we can find a house. BP is doing a number which isn't optimal for my ascending aorta. So we're trying to catch a bit of serenity. In packing up our files and stuff I came across this video of my wife and I from almost exactly 5 years ago. It was made for my mom who was in her last days. It's not maudlin though, it's something that lifts me up when I'm down. All of you awaiting surgery, all of you recovering, all of you like me in limbo... love till you've loved it away. https://youtu.be/kQMQ21GbC9g

Just checking in. We haven't found a house yet, and we're out of here in 2 weeks. Likely going to live in a small flat in my brother-in-law's garage for a few weeks. Been reading posts but not had much time to do more than to offer silent support to you all. Just know that you're all an inspiration. BP is still a bit high - but that's because of the lack of aerobic exercise other than the "Ohmygodohmygodwhathavewedone" variety. Seriously though there's not much of that. We're fine. Hang in there one and all.

Check-in with either a "Dumb Steven" moment or a PSA or both. Natalie and I are on Canada's wet coast looking for a home and last week in the run up and haste involved in packing I prepared my meds for the three weeks. I had switched dosages but had enough left in the former prescription that I had to double. I thought I would use them up in the evenings. With all the stress of breaking an 11 month lockdown and crossing three high mountain passes in the winter and the stress of looking for a house I didn't question why my BP started to trend high. Until today when it hit me that I hadn't been doubling the one pill I should have. Moral: Until you get into a habit... write it down.

Our house went on the market at midnight. We started getting requests for showings today. I'm the cook. Navigating meals between showings is not doing wonders for my BP! We have no idea where we're moving to yet, although our goal is the wet coast (not misspelled). But we can't really move until I get the vaccine. So, stress, not good for the BP. But it's one foot in front of the other. Today when I felt stressed out I thought of Eddie Patton and Elyse Sherman and Page Barnes and all of the other warriors who have had recent surgeries. It helped keep things in perspective. Hang in there you all!

What do you think when celebrities like Arnold or more recently the hockey goalie Henrik Lundquist are diagnosed with bi-cuspid valves and aneurysms? I had family call and text me and ask me if this "is the same as you?" and then after reading about those cases say "Hmmm... this sounds serious!" More attention than I want.

Had a really nice email from my cardiologist this morning. I had written him to give him the links he had asked for to various videos and productions that I've been in this year (one of which is on my feed here!) and also to tell him that we were thinking of selling our house and moving to the coast once I'd been vaccinated. He told me that he'd do some research and recommend me to a good and "nice" cardiologist. (That's a qualification?) in Victoria and that he'd miss me. Aw shucks. In other news, a foot of snow on the way and my wife is waving the shovel at me and warning me not to touch it.

There are the things we do to make a living and the things we do to live or bring life to our lives. I found my lifegiving activities rather late in life, but now I am happily playing music and telling stories and even writing them. Here's a little something my wife Natalie and I cooked up for a concert we had tonight for a local charity. Whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate, I wish you well this season. Know that this community means a lot to me. This is half an hour long. Suitable for all ages. Yes, I am that pale. Yes, I have lost a ton of weight and clothes don't fit. And the accent isn't real. https://youtu.be/UQpPmLBqPu0

Have any of you had to move while awaiting surgery? We are considering a big move to the wet coast, and I imagine that I would need to have a cardiologist lined up BEFORE the move. What did you do?

Canadian Thanksgiving was a month and a bit ago (Columbus Day weekend). For our US members of this community, I wish you all the best this week. While it might not seem that there's a lot to be grateful for on the surface of things, there IS. Celebrate well and celebrate wisely. Canada, well, we saw an uptick in cases of COVID afterwards. I cooked for my wife and I. It was just the two of us, but we walked and had a good quiet time. I'm grateful for all of you!

Chinook winds blowing through Calgary, and with the time change dawn was just about when I was having breakfast. The sun lit up the Chinook clouds and the whole world was scarlet then red, then orange. I sat out on the deck in my PJs and had breakfast and realized that regardless of where we are in our journeys we can choose to find joy in the simplest of things. I hope you all find joy today.

Too Long; Didn't Read: No Surgery. Slightly Longer: Things are stable. Keep on doing what you're doing or more importantly not doing what you're not doing. Full version: I really like this guy. No, really. No surprises in the news, and while we're still waiting on the echo (next week), the regurgitation is likely unchanged. With COVID and losing work I am on the cusp of retirement. I'm looking for work, but realistically... I have to consider that at 62 my chances are slim. And so we're considering downsizing and potentially moving away. The question to the doctor was basically where to? What should we be looking at, and where in Canada can we go? The guy has no ego. He knows that he's good but said that the number of surgeons who can perform the work I will need is still relatively small in Canada and he can recommend all of them. So we're not tied to this boat anchor of a house that is far too big for just the two of us. We asked what might move the needle on the need for surgery. I don't smoke, my cholesterol is low and my BP has been stupidly low. The short answer is: Everyone's aorta grows over time. Normal valves calcify. You're fine for now. And with that I think I have a single malt lined up and then onions to chop for supper.

So Thursday I find out that my aneurysm is stable. Cardiologist schedules an echo to check on the BAV. Friday the surgeon calls to schedule a quick chat but that's fine, we kinda figure that he's aligned with the cardiologist. Great, Happy Happy, Smile Smile. At noon I notice blood in my urine. Then clots. Long and short of it I spent some time in the hospital. Another CT and ultrasounds and machines that go "PING!" and, well, because I'm not in pain, don't have a fever, am not nauseous, and they can't see anything on the CT, I'm queued up for a clinic visit and a scope next week. Now it's likely just a bleed in the bladder but still. Can't I have ONE flipping day of feeling happy and well? Sheesh.

Had a virtual cardiologist visit today and the news is that due to aggressive blood pressure and pulse medications and my losing a cr4p-ton of weight and despite COVID and losing work I have a lot less stress, so we have halted the growth of the aortic aneurysm. The dosages have been drastically reduced to account for all this and the fact that my BP is averaging 93 over 68 this last week. He wants an echo just to see if there's been any change on the regurgitation which was mild-moderate last time and unchanged. His take though is that it's still not a question of "if" but one of "when" to have the surgery. So you're stuck with me for a while yet.

It is Canadian Thanksgiving! What with calls by public health officials to keep it simple and our boys living on the "wet" coast it was just us two. Some Canadians do the big meal on Sunday and we did this year, although as cook I kept it simple. Pumpkin pie... from scratch though! Lots to be thankful for. We are on the right side of the turf and we have each other. I am also thankful for this site and community.

Went for the CT cardiogram of the heart and aneurysm today. The experience was surreal. Oh, not the CT, I've had those a-plenty, it was the hospital itself. Three security guards at the door with sanitizing stations, then the questionnaire station and temperature station and a pass station and a porter to take me to my destination. Foothills Hospital is vast, about a dozen buildings all interconnected. "A maze of twisty passages, all alike". Usually it is bustling like downtown, but the corridors were more like you'd expect overnight, some people, all keeping their distance. This hospital has had 7 wards affected in the last month by Covid, and 10 deaths, most of which were in the Cardiac wards. It was a bit off-putting for someone who has basically kept home for the last 6 months. But I felt strangely safer than I have going downtown to visit my dentist. People there are taking precautions very seriously. At any rate... no news for a few days. The tech said. "Yup, Bi-cuspid valve." I didn't figure it had cured overnight. How have your hospital visits been? Noticed the changes?

My in person follow-up with my cardiologist after the CT scan next week has been turned into a Zoom event. He's part of a practice that is in lockdown, or the building is in lockdown. He's tested clear. He does practice out of the hospital that is experiencing "issues" in Calgary, and his partners do too. *sigh* More concerned about the folks in the two of the 7 affected wards that are nearer to my heart (no pun intended), the cardiac general ward and the cardiac surgery ward including the ICU.