Susan's Journal

Greg Lewis  I am praying for you. Please let us know what's going on with you.
The Lord says to place your fears, and worries with him. So do that...talk to him..you will receive his peace. He will take you through this.

Klara Čičić  Oh dear Susan!! We are here for you, thinking of you, praying for you! You are not alone. They will sort it out and help you. Please keep us updated. Sending love

Susan Lynn  Susan - I'm sorry to read this news. You're never alone. We're all right here for you. Prayers coming your way.

Marie Myers  My BP was low at home, but once I got into the surgeons or cardiologists office , it really went up. As long as you are not feeling faint, passing out, having chest pain, I would be thankful your pressure isn’t high and requiring medication. Was your pressure high before ?

Luke Rodriguez  I was low prior, high about 2 weeks post surgery and back to low. I was on BP meds and ended up getting off one by one. The cardiologist was super conservative and put me on a heart monitor as I got off each one. Now my only issue is what feels like a pounding heart even 8 months post surgery. If I tighten up my core muscles it goes away but comes back .My cardiologist said it's normal for people with mechanical valves. 

Susan Jones  It was high several weeks ago and I ended up in er. Er doctor put me on lisinopril with diagnosis of hypertension. Never had high bp before and can't say what triggered it. Dosage has been cut and only taken when over 110. I'm glad it's down but never know whether what I'm feeling is a worsening heart issue or I'm just over cautious. Thanks for your responses

Amy Berger  I had severe aortic stenosis and was watched for about 18 months prior to my surgery last week. During that time my BP went down and was considered low. My pulse also started going way up anytime I walked up an incline. I kept saying I didn’t have any symptoms as I didn’t get short of breath but now looking back, I’d say these were symptoms. 

Susan Lynn  Susan - it's good to hear from you. You've been in my thoughts. You may not want to make the trip, but Dr. Vernon Mascarenhas at Geisinger Wyoming Valley is absolutely worth it! Good luck with your search.

Susan Jones  Thanks Susan. I've resigned myself to the fact I'll be traveling no matter which way I go. Seem to be stuck between where insurance is accepted and where I can get care

Leona Resch  Hi Susan- I hear how scared you are. I was completely terrified and that terror has a way of just overtaking any rational thought. Try some deep calming breaths- it really helps. Try to have confidence in your doctors. They do this everyday so what is ordinary to them is terrifying to you . But that’s it- it’s what they do everyday and with so much success! And while it can be painful afterwards it’s not something you can’t get through. My first day home o was able to shower on my own. There are good and bad days afterwards but eventually more good ..You can get through this!!!! Have faith in your medical team and reach out to this website for all the encouragement from these wonderful people!!❤️❤️❤️

Robert Stebbins  You got this Susan!  I felt similar to you going into surgery. I’m now 2 weeks out and feeling much better mentally and physically. It is normal to be scared - keep posting here if you need to talk it out. 

Richard Munson  Omg susan, its tons better than going to see god. Course i haven’t been introduced in person as yet. I might like the guy. Think fur babies. If you look at the picture on my valve story you will see my first day home with my 120 pound  fur baby on the bed providing the best TLC money can buy. That first day she laid  there for 4 solid hours till my wife finally lured her away with a cheese stick. She lived another year after my surgery in 2021 but not a day went by that she did not ask me how i was feeling. Now we have a new puppy who’s picture shows up here on occasion but a day does not go by that i don’t miss my cassie. I could go on and on about the fear prior to surgery i experienced but don’t want to come off as a scardy cat. Which i am. Bottom line: i was 78 at the time and a lot closer to visiting the big guy than you are and it was worth it. It will be for you also. 

Amy Berger  Hi I love what Leona wrote above and thankful that she is in this group to encourage us. My surgery for AVR is scheduled for January 24, 2023 and I have some anxious moments. To help me, my mantra is “all I have to do is show up” plus I’ve made a grateful page to read when I’m nervous. For me, I believe God gives us a spirit of strength and faith not fear. I find comfort in prayer. We’ve got this! 

Rose Madura  I don't understand why you have lost all hope. Having open heart surgery is not a death sentence; it's a life sentence. After it's over, you will wonder why you stressed so much. And you will feel so much better. I pray for peace for you....

Greg Lewis  Hi Susan! Your post of not having any hope took my breath away. I hear this almost daily, from my Son, but I know him, and his illness,  and deal with this a lot. I also have felt some hopelessness this year, as my surgery left me pretty banged up. So..you are not alone. I am going to rewrite your first statement as" I have lost all hope that anything good will happen" I think that's fair, and is what you said, in a different way.
So..I want to tell you that, soooo much good will happen! Read all the great happenings from all the heart warriors on this site! I also am almost recovered! Surgery has given all of us a second life! I could literally write a book about all the great things that have happened to me, during this year of recovery. Even when the going was rough, all kinds of good things were going on in my life! I have no doubt that it would be the case for you. So, even in our pain, so many great things happen in our life! 
I also want to tell you that...you are never alone. Ever.
Do you know that God is always, looking after you? Yep. Always. He doesn't stop, and then just suddenly remember you when you pray. He doesn't take a break, and then go..oh no, I forgot about Susan, and her troubles with her husband, and her valve!  He is always working in your life! Even when you only see the bad stuff happening. There is always good. Just gotta look for it! 
This is great news!! It means that.." you don't have to worry about it" you can cast all of your worries onto Him! No..He WANTS you to cast all your worries onto him! 


Susan Lynn gave you some great advice, as has all the people here.
Some other advice I would like to give you is to talk to a health professional at your hospital. Talk to a Pastor too. It really will help. 


There really is nothing you can't do, and there is always, always, always, always hope!!! 


Please stay in touch! Let us know how it's going! 

Marie Myers  Susan, I had  the same diagnosis as you did (aortic regurgitation, bicuspid valve and 2 aneurysms) . I  did not experience constant pain or addiction after my surgery . So yes, having surgery for me allowed me to get on with my life. I was back at work in 8 weeks, and today am playing pickleball, horseback riding, and doing yoga. Everyone is different, and everyone must make their own choice. Try not to dwell on the worst case scenario, since  It doesn’t always happen! 

Ed Eller  I am 11 weeks post open heart surgery and pretty much back to a normal life. I'm progressing through cardiac rehab well with no pain at all.  There is so much to look forward to!

Angela Meletiadis  Susan, I am 6months postop with minimally invasive mitral valve repair. I still have a lot of pain in the areas of incisions but I took paracetamol and take it now only when I am very bad. The Greek winter is quite difficult for this as we have many changes and a lot of dampness in the atmosphere. I tried acupuncture and that helped a little. God will take me when He wants, surely, but the only life I know is this one and I still have lots to look forward to: The marriage of my four children, grandchildren, retirement, etc. Many doctors and people on this site say to give it a year and I will be ok. Life is sweet and I'm not going to let this pain conquer me. I also got my leave extended, because my job is physical (PE teacher in primary school). I would love to go back but Dr says to wait a little bit more. And, my heart is doing well. I am hopeful. In the meantime, since you mention God, perhaps He has something to teach me through all this.

Robert Miller  If people have a problem like pain then they post and ask about it. If someone doesn't have any problems they usually don't post unless asked. So my point is, you often just hear the bad stuff (though this forum is actually also a lot about good stuff) and then some people get terrified about it. 

For a good story, I had two mitral valve repairs this year. In both cases, a couple of days after surgery I didn't need any pain killer (they still gave me Tylenol every 6 hours). Once I got home I dropped the Tylenol. The incision is sensitive when clothes rub on it so wear light clothes. The first few days after coming home I had minor pain after sleeping a few hours but it went away soon after getting up. The first surgery I was symptomatic and once out of the hospital I felt a lot better than before surgery. The second time I was asymptomatic so I felt a bit worse after surgery but after a few days at home it's basically back to normal except I can't drive, lift, dig (have an unfinished project), etc but in a couple weeks I won't have that limit anymore (digging has to wait for a couple more weeks). There are quite a lot of other stories here how people felt better after surgery and got a second chance. Take that second chance!!!

Brady Busch  There was some initial pain and discomfort for me,right after surgery,in the ICU,but not unbearable.They have a pill for that.
The biggest thing,was the exhaustion,which slowly went away,after about a month.
I looked in my notes and Tylenol was stopped,shortly after going home.

George Gardopee  Susan - My experience was closer to that of of Ed's, Robert’s, and Brady’s. Like you,  I was terrified before the surgery for months. I am a terrible pessimist, and since I was expecting the worst I reached a point where I wanted it to be over one way or the other.  But, I had a great experience at the Cleveland Clinic. Almost nothing I would call pain, no need for anything but Tylenol by the third day. The worst after-effect was nausea for two days.  I was tired after coming home for a few weeks but I was still able to walk 1-2 miles a day.  I slept normally in my bed immediately.  By five weeks it was like nothing had happened. If I had been working from home (I was retired) I would have been able to work after a week or so.  I had a full median sternotomy, and I’ll go out on a limb here and say that it seems to me that the people on this site who had the full sternotomy (vs. those who had minimally invasive surgery) report less pain and long-term discomfort post-surgery.  I was 69 when I had the surgery, and in hindsight it was not bad at all.  I recently tore the meniscus in my left knee and, all-in-all, I’d rather have heart surgery.  But, I do have to say I believe I was very lucky to be on the good end of the spectrum in terms of ease of recovery and lack of complications. I was asymptomatic before surgery so I didn’t feel better after, but I sure didn’t feel worse.  There are many people on this site who will tell you that the pain after surgery is nowhere near as bad as they expected. Pain medication addiction is exceedingly rare.  Almost everyone will say that waiting is the hardest part. We all understand your anxiety.

Another thing to think about considering you believe, like I did, that the surgery would be unbearable.  I, like you, seriously thought about foregoing the surgery and letting nature take its course. But, after some study, I learned that dying of heart failure can be a long, slow, very uncomfortable process. Think long-term debilitation, not sudden death as in a heart attack. I believe that no matter how bad the discomfort after surgery might be for a short time, it pales in comparison to the process of dying from heart valve disease. I found that recovering from surgery was by far easier than I expected. 

Leona Resch  Susan the pain is nothing you can’t get through. Hospital staff is amazing. And everyone is different. Pain at end of my hospital stay handled with Tylenol, no addictions! Pain at home also not bad- fir me I probably pushed it too much but Advil is all i need . SoMeone is right on with saying we all feel free to post here to get great advice but that doesn’t mean everyone is in pain.The whole point is our journeys could be different and all these nice people have been such a great source of encouragement . I feel so good to be post surgery- my anxiety before was in panic mode so I  get it.  And I know one day I’ll feel myself again !! Hang in there! YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Rose Madura  I honestly don't remember being in much pain as I stayed ahead of it initially and as soon as I was comfortable with going off narcotics, I did and Tylenol was all I needed. Granted it is no picnic in the park but very doable.  The odds are in your favor.

Susan Lynn  It might be time to get another opinion. Waiting is the most difficult part and it can be consuming. You are clearly frightened - that's totally normal, but a few weeks of inconvenience to recover from surgery is better than the alternative.

When you're told, 'You need heart surgery,' it's not a suggestion, it is a directive.


Utilize the local Bureau of the Aging for options for your husband's care and your vet or local animal boarding service for help with your pets. You will have visiting nurses for your care. Remember, heart patients are up and walking around within a day or two. I think you are misunderstanding the recovery process.


Doing nothing doesn't avoid pain, it actually ensures a terrible future. You may want to Google the effects and symptoms of end-stage heart failure. Unlike recovery where you improve with each day, a heart that is overworked will result in a steady decline and an awful quality of life.


Make the decision that's right for you, but be sure to know exactly what you're choosing. Best of luck to you.

Subhash Chandel  Have courage. I always tell myself that 70% of people who have successful surgeries with no major aftereffects never post in these forums while 100% of people who have aftereffects post in forums as they are looking for answers. That is why you see more posts where people are posting about aftereffects after surgery. 

Timothy Andre  Susan, I encourage you to go easy on yourself. Stress, worry and anxiety today will not change a future outcome. Take a deep breath and trust that all will be ok. I agree with Subhash, many of us that are experiencing a generally smooth recovery don't mention it as often. I am 7 months post-op and am walking 40-60 miles a week and working out just like before surgery. I feel great and look healthier than I ever have in my life. I had a double valve replacement and an ascending aorta dacron graft with a full sternotomy. It was extremely invasive and technically difficult for my surgeon and I am doing very good.

Everyone talks about how difficult the wait can be, myself included. Do your best to be mindful, as I believe that any ill thoughts today can affect your well being. Continue posting and talking out your feelings because we are all here for you. May God bless you and give you the strength to be at peace with your situation

Susan Lynn  Susan - We were all scared before surgery - that's completely normal, but remember, surgery is performed when the benefits outweigh the risks. Once you realize that there's more detrimental impact to your health by avoiding surgery, you'll be much more willing to move forward and get it done. There really isn't a choice, heart valve issues don't get better on their own. You'll find that you're more accepting of the process as you get closer to your event day. Even though there can be turns in the recovery road, we all get through it. You will too!

Thomas Brusstar  Hello, Susan.  I remember before my surgery, it was very stressful.  I was actually having dreams that my heart was stopping.  My mind was racing, and bad information tended to stick in the front of my mind.  But I fundamentally had confidence in the process, which had to be done.  I had a mitral valve repair using an open heart sternotomy in July 2018.  I had never been overnight in a hospital for anything before.  I can tell you it was actually a very empowering experience:  I was amazed at how quickly I healed afterwards, and enjoyed every little milestone.  I went in on a Tuesday morning and was home for dinner Friday.

Now, it wasn't without drama.  By the Monday morning my neck and bone at the top of my collarbone was swollen, with a red rash on my neck, and I convinced myself I had an infection and maybe even a sternal dehiscence (coming un-fastened where they wired it shut) -- but the swelling was normal as the sternum heals in those first days, and the growing rash was from sitting in the sun while taking mega-antibiotics.  A trip to the emergency room proved that I was fine.  And as the surgical blood loss was replaced over the next few weeks, my energy and strength grew.  I could feel the ache in my sternum from activity for quite a while, over a year with exertion; but that is gone now.  I've had annual ultrasounds and my repaired valve still does not leak at all after 4 years.  I don't think anybody would notice my scar if I didn't point it out (if I ever went shirtless).  The only problems in my heart are from the (unknown at the time) delay in fixing the valve.  So please do not despair.


The beauty of these procedures is that they are physical.  The problem is so easy to define, and the fix is physical.  It's plumbing.  Compared to other major problems, this is very measurable, and very fixable.  With cancer, for example, I can tell you one is never quite sure where it is hiding, and never quite sure it isn't about to manifest somewhere new; but now I know just how easy heart surgery is.

So please take heart (ahem), and have confidence in your body's ability to heal.  There will be bad days, and I'm glad you're here to ask questions, but please be confident in the ability of your surgery to fix the problem.

Tom Everson  Hi. It is 100%  normal  to feel as you do . 2 points.   1 You are extremely blessed to know you MAY. have a issue that can be addressed before it gets out of control. Thousands of people are unaware of their problem   2. I felt. relief  that my aortic valve problem was fixable ( like changing a car engine part) vs something like CANCER  which to me is scary
 Enjoy your family  and LIVE LIFE

Klara Čičić  Dear Susan these are normal feeling which we all experienced. This website is biased in a way that we tend to write and ask for advice only when something is wrong, so it seems everyone has some kind of complication... 
My murmur was so loud before the surgery that you could hear it without stetoscope. Now I have no murmur at all. First time I heard that my eyes filled with tears. I got a second chance in life. 
We are here for you  and everything will be fine!

Rita Savelis  What you are feeling is normal and real. There is anxiety pre and post surgery. Recovery brings its own problems. But one moves forward a day at a time. Keep expressing your feelings and talk to a doctor and to a therapist if that helps. Heart surgery is a big deal. Life moves to a new normal after surgery. All the feelings can be overwhelming. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but your honesty about your feelings will help you get through it. Take care.

Marie Myers  My surgery was 5+ years ago, and I have no pain and am back to living my life. (Includes work, pickleball, horseback riding, and taking care of my husband and house). I would say you might be suffering from the overwhelm of finding out you may have surgery at some point in the future. Worrying will definitely not serve you well, so please find a person you can talk to ,in order to gain a New perspective on things. I am lucky my aneurysm was found before it became critical/ or killed me. Focus on the good, and look realistically at the rest. You, too, will make it through this!

George Gardopee  We all know the anticipation in the lead-up to surgery is awful.  For most people, much worse than the surgery itself.  There are many stories of this site from people who had few if any complications and very little long-term effects. I am lucky to be one of them.  Within about a week or so I believe I felt nothing but some fatigue.  It would seem that most of the complications people suffer are relatively short term - often resolving in a few weeks (or months at most). 

Susan Lynn  Susan - Stay positive! There are many mitral valve heart warriors on this site. If your husband is worried about surgery, ask about MitraClip. It's an easier procedure and short recovery- it might be a good option. Please keep us posted.

Klara Čičić  Dear Susan, hang in there, as the rest said, he is in a place where they're taking care of him. MitraClip sounds like a good solution... Everything will be fine. We are all here for you. Stay strog! 

Richard Munson  I will personally work at making you laugh. Between me and howard, we will bring a smile to your lips. There is a saying: laughter is the best medicene. I have been accused over the years of not taking things serious enough and my answer is to lighten up when you can. . 

Richard Munson  It sounds to me that if they are pushing out your surgery that you must not be experiencing any symptoms like shortness of breath i guess is the biggie. I never had any either but finally got the surgery anyway because i was sick of hearing its a little worse  this time. Maybe being 6-5, i never experienced any shortness. That was my feeble attempt at trying to make you smile. 

Richard Munson  Klara, you seem pretty secure about your upcoming surgery. I will warn you however, as the day nears the stress increases. I think anyone that can stay totally calm as d day approaches must be sniffing glue. Its too big a deal. 

Howard Powders  They put me under deep anesthesia because the surgeon told me he couldn’t take the risk of having me conscious and making him laugh when making incisions.

  Richard and Howard, keep it up. It’s so nice to laugh, it’s healthy. Love you guys. 🙏❤️👍😄😁

Rita Savelis  Laughing and crying are both good. Expressing what you feel. There is certainly a lot that is funny about medical procedures and hospitals. You'll get back to laughing especially as you observe the absurdity of it all. Take care.

Richard Munson  Sometimes it helps just posting i think. Occupy your mind. My grandparents were from germany. I’ll ask them to visit you. In thought only of course. I am sure your little rug rats are keeping you hopping and keeping your mind off the surgery. Not sure dealing with cancer on a daily basis would be good for me. Your husband must be a strong willed person. 

Klara Čičić  Dear Susan, yeah, I am seeing first hand how hard it is for our loved ones, too :( Now when my surgery is very near, the fear is getting stronger... I can only say: reassurement, love, good education on how small acctually the risks of dying are, honest conversation and (very effective in our case and one we often forget in scary times) why not - humor :) 

Rose Madura  Hi Susan, I'd try to reassure your husband that these surgeries are done every day with a very high success rate. In fact, , the risk of dying as a result of the procedure is estimated to be 2%. But this risk is far lower than the risk associated with leaving severe aortic disease untreated. I had a lot of complications and still, the doctors knew what to do and five years later, I'm fine. But I wouldn't discount his feelings as it is scary for you and him.

Susan Lynn  Susan- I had no idea how difficult my surgery was for my husband until it was over. He didn't show his emotions at all and just reassured me throughout the process that everything would be fine. But when we got home, he looked like he was mentally wiped out.

Heart surgery is truly a team effort and it is very hard on our loved ones. All you can do is engage him in the research and pre-op surgical appointments in hopes that his comfort level will increase along with yours. Confidence in the surgeon and team is the key to keeping your sanity on event day.

I said goodbye to my husband and sister in the pre-op waiting room to avoid that uncomfortable wait time chit-chat and tearful send-off before going to the OR. I also requested that they not see me after surgery until the breathing tube was removed - I did what I could to minimize their trauma. No matter what you do, it's a long day for your family, but it feels like only a moment has passed for you. Try to tell them - you're fine and getting some great drugs! 😁

How lucky we are to have people who care so much. You're both going to get through this together.

Richard Munson  We all handle stress in different ways. I was more nervous when i discovered my wifes breast cancer diagnosis and seriously stressed when my beloved cassie died than my own situation.  I think the key is how we deal with it. My wife was caught early and i was involved in the meetings with her surgeon. In the case of cassie, i will never forget her memory but getting shadow was a way to finally cope with my grief. My suggestion to your husband would be to be involved in your joirney and try to learn as much about the success rates as possible. Wringing your hands and having a woe is me attitude is the easy way out. Its not easy to be tough but every person on this site that has undergone your diagnosis has had the same fears. 

  As Richard said we all handled stress differently. I’m more worried about my kid who is a total mommas girl, than myself. It’s only us and God. We make each other laugh a lot , pray and have a positive attitude . She goes with me to all my appointments and is very involved in my care. Being an only child she has had to care for her dad (mayhe Rest In Peace) and now me. But, I don’t forget she is going through all this too. Hope you and your husband find peace and comfort. 

Thomas Brusstar  In retrospect, my open heart mitral repair 4 years ago was quite easy for me.  I worried in advance, but, as others have said, the likelihood of a successful outcome is soooo high that it really is just a very complicated plumbing procedure.  It is humbling, and you will feel bad sometimes, and the waiting and worrying beforehand is the worst; but you will be amazed and proud of how well you recover afterwards.  Your husband should plan of specific helpful tasks like fetching food for you in the hospital, and at home shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. for a few weeks.  Heart surgery is a big deal, but they are so good at it these days that he should not worry.   Heart surgery is not a mysterious process, it is all physical, and not microscopic.  It is obvious what they are doing, and they won't close until they are done.  Trust me, mysterious conditions that are hard to test for and hard to treat (like cancer) are much more difficult to grasp.

Richard Munson  All great responses that hopefully will ease some of your husbands fears. There are 2 diagnosis that seem to strike the most fear in our minds.  Cancer and heart issues. I never thought about it being a plumbing procedure. I knew i should have called the roto rooter man. It might have been cheaper. Maybe not.

Richard Munson  When i discovered my wife had breast cancer, it knocked me for a loop maybe 10 years ago. I was stunned. She jokingly said i was worried i would be eating spam the rest of my life. I think she was joking. 

Rita Savelis  Anxiety is real. Your husband may want to take some meds or talk to a therapist. There might be therapy at your hospital specifically for partners/caretakers. It can be very hard to be the outsider watching. When you are the patient everyone is concerned about you and you can be sad, angry, anxious, difficutl, whatever. A caretaker is supposed to be strong and that's a harder role to play. Each one of you two is experiencing this in your own way. All feelings are valid. But it would be good for your husband to talk out his feelings with a neutral person such as a therapist. Take care. Wishing you the best.

Rose Madura  Rita does have good advice. I remember one time after my 3rd re-admission with complications, my husband made the comment to my family, "I just want my wife back." He was worried and scared. One of my in-laws (or in this case an out-law) said to him, "What about Rose, look at all she's going through." She basically blew him off for having feelings. I was so ticked off, that didn't help me at all. Anyway, it's real scary for them and I think my husband did very well.

Richard Munson  We richard edwards can handle the tough times. My wife was probably correct, i was destined for a life of spam if she did not make it. I can still imagine the pile of laundry. Probably easier to just toss it and buy new. Besides robotic heart surgery spam may be one of lifes great inventions. My mouth is watering. Thankfully my little midget is still alive and kicking. Not literally. 

Kimberly Eisenhut  Hello Susan, I'm right there with you. My cardiac specialist is still telling me to wait, not time. It's good, but the waiting is very anxiety provoking at times. I'm trying to learn how to take it one day at a time and trust my Dr. This website has helped me greatly also

Deena Elani  My cardiologists put it off for 14 years (rightly so) and then one day when we held a zoom call said: "well, 2021 is your year!". I was so used to him putting the surgery off that I was in shock, yet so glad it was dealt with. 

Rose Madura  I knew when I was a child that one day I would need heart surgery.  Imagine waiting over 50 years.  Every year, I'd go for a checkup and they'd say, see you next year.  But in 2017, all that changed.  Thank God all turned out ok!

Richard Munson  Rose, we are all happy it worked out ok. As an added benefit both you , marie, and nancy were lucky enough to have nabbed a richard.

Susan Jones  Thanks for the support everyone. I'm trying to ‘Live a good life’. - Parting words from my last Dr.

Rose Madura  Susan, remember...you are going to stay our of the dark places. Yes waiting is difficult. Try calling the cardiologist office. It's only been 3 days since your last test. I'd venture to say if you didn't get an immediate call, it's not urgent. It sounds like you are going to have to travel somewhere to have surgery, why not consider the Cleveland Clinic? What is the closest major city? You cant give up. I agree with those who earlier suggested that you find informative videos to watch with your smhuaband so you both grasp the situation. There are plenty on this site alone not to mention YouTube. God bless you. I will be praying for peace in your situation.

Marie Myers  The good news is, It sounds like you have some time to plan. Surgery is not imminent for you. Keep in mind, if you ignore your own health problems, you won’t  be there to help your husband. Take a deep breath, and look at One thing at a time. It may be necessary to ask for help, whether from friends, coworkers, neighbors , church friends, or family even if far away.  Wishing you some peace!

Susan Lynn  Susan - I am a fellow Pennsylvanian and live in the northeast part of the state.  I'm not sure if Geisinger is one of your healthcare systems of choice, but I can wholeheartedly recommend cardiologist, Dr. Vernon Mascarenhas.  I don't know if he works in Danville, however.  I realize that Wilkes Barre is a bit of a distance, but Geisinger has a new heart hospital here.  I understand they are doing excellent work there, as I suspect they do in Danville.  My niece was born with a very rare heart defect and had her surgery at Geisinger's Children's Hospital in Danville when she was just two weeks old.  She's still doing great today at age 28.

We often recommend going to Cleveland Clinic, Northwestern, Mt. Sinai, etc. on this site, but that kind of traveling isn't always an option for everyone, but there are good choices within two hours' driving distance.  If you're a UPMC patient, Pittsburgh is also about three hours from you and they also provide exceptional care.  I know you're concerned about your husband's well being and that is so admirable.  But, you can't put your own health on hold, either.  You'll be of no use to anyone if you don't take care of yourself, first.   While it's not ideal, there are always transportation services for hire that can get you to these locations at a reasonable cost.  

I wish you the best of luck! Please keep us posted on your progress. 

Deena Elani  Susan, one step forward.  Just focus on what to do next. Lynn is awesome and gave you some great next steps to focus on right there in PA.  We are here with you each step of the way.  You can do it.  If you don't do it for you, then do it for your husband, so you can be there for him!   

Thomas Brusstar  Marie is right, that if you don't take care of yourself, you'll be useless in helping anybody else.  It's wonderful that you take satisfaction from helping your husband, but it will not help him to see your health suffering.  It's hard not to fall into despair sometimes (now that my heart valve is all fixed, I have a cancer diagnosis, so it's hard to be positive for me...).

Susan Lynn  Thomas - I am very sorry to read about your recent diagnosis. How are you doing? I'm sure it was difficult to receive that news so soon after surgery. We're here for you.

Timothy Andre  Good Luck with your scans today. I love the attitude you have. Trusting the process is so important and mentally healthy for you. Way to go!! God Bless You!!

Rita Savelis  The fluid you gain during surgery will come off fairly quickly. You will be given diuretics to help lose that water weight. Being in better physical shape is great. I am skinny but still had a fat tire of water weight around my middle for a few days/week after surgery. You may want to wear loose fitting clothes even if you don't gain water weight, just to be comfortable and to not have anything binding on your chest. Wishing you the best.

Susan Jones  Thanks Rita.  I’m borderline overweight and working on losing about 10 pounds  My other concern is being well endowed and  to be frank  what affect my boobs will have on  my recovery and healing . 

Patsy Stewart  I gained 7 lbs of fluid after surgery, but like Rita said, it comes off fairly quickly. I noticed it most when they walked me. My legs and feet were stiff, and I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t want to ‘work’. I wore lose fitting, knit jogging type pants and button up tops. I also had button up pajamas…..which I basically lived in for a few weeks.🤗You won’t be able to lift your arms over your head for 8 weeks with open heart surgery. The loose fitting pants helped so I wouldn’t have to tug to get them up. 
This might help you with the bra question. You might also ask your surgeon before going in. I don’t know if all hospitals offer the surgical bras. I didn’t need one. I’m thinking Deena Elani talked about this subject. Perhaps she can help you. 
https://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/CVC/Cardiac%20Surgery/SurgicalBraCardiacSurgery.pdf

Timothy Andre  I'm sure the amount of water weight will vary depending on the person.  I gained 20lbs from 180 to 200.  I was surprised but about 8 days after surgery I was back to 180.  The nursing staff will monitor you urine levels making sure you are releasing all that extra water weight. 

Rita Savelis  Some hospitals provide surgical bras. There are also post surgery bra ideas on google. It's true that breasts can pull on your incision. Despite that some women prefer the comfort of going braless...

Susan Jones  Thanks everyone. You give me peace of mind. Sometimes I think I wonder about the littlest things. But not knowing can drive me nuts. Still working dealing with the anxiety. Today I’m not doing too. well.

Tom Everson  Hi Susan. IF you can spend your worry time on something productive. Start planning on your recovery. What you need , who will help, what may be required of them, what Government resources 
are available, ask for ideas from this group.  Everyone on the forum has experienced   Good Luck. Be positive 

Thomas Brusstar  I lost 15 pounds the day I went home, like 190 to 175.  Wear loose clothes.  The diuretics before you go home will cause crazy water weight loss!

Rita Savelis  The anxiety is there. I hear you. Pre-surgery and post surgery. There are so many unknowns. I really recommend asking questions and getting answers. Write your questions down. Ask your doctors everything. Ask here. But know that every experience is singular. And your experience will not be like anyone else's. Your body is unique. Take care.

Michael Klusyk  Hi there Susan. 
First thing is know that you didn’t do anything to cause your bicuspid valve. I found comfort the more I educated myself on the disease, surgical options, surgeons, procedures, and expectations for and during recovery. Also, you are in the driver seat with your care up to the point of surgery and then you can work hard to recover. Adam’s book is an amazing resource and this website has outstanding information to educate yourself. I’ve watched every video pertaining to my specific disease and my preferred surgical option in the “Videos” section and have also searched procedures and recovery on YouTube. 

You will do great!! Stay positive!!

Susan Jones  Thanks for the encouragement! Michael    I just feel overwhlemed sometimes. I also am trying to learn as much as possible but sometimes I feel I’m going down a rabbit hole.   I’m so glad I found this community.  Someone who understands all the thoughts and feelings I’m having 

Klara Čičić  Hi Susan, the emotional rollercoaster in the beginning will go away... I know how you feel, it's so hard to accept all od it, that it's happening to you... It will get better :) Hang in there! Wishing you all the best.... 

Kristine Schroeder  Hey Susan. You are certainly not alone.  It is a process for sure.  I also recommend Adam’s book. It helped me a lot. My surgery is tentatively scheduled for July 6 and I have been waiting for a CT since early April.  Each day is new and it does get better. Stay strong!

Michael Klusyk  Hi Susan. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts tomorrow. I'm really confident that everything is going to go great and that I will be in recovery before I know it.

One other thought I had for you. If you haven't done so already, have your husband watch some of the videos (if you choose to watch them) with you. You will both become more comfortable with the options and the procedures. 

Don't hesitate to reach out to this community when you hit a wall, head down a rabbit hole, or just need to get another perspective. 

Have an amazing week!

Charlie Geer  Hey Susan. I’m now just at the end of the waiting period. Had the same anxiety as you have. I did some audio pre surgery guided imagery and it really helped me get my head straight waiting for the date. I highly recommend you try it. Let me know if it helps. 

Rita Savelis  It's overwhelming. So you're feeling like you should be. Too many emotions. This is all so normal. Stay with the feelings. Talk about them. It is okay to not feel serene. One day at a time. Take care.

Susan Jones  Thanks to everyone. It is so nice to have such support. Thanks to Adam for sharing everything and giving me (us) a place to go to for each other. Feeling better today. I truly know I'm not alone and can reach out anytime with all my questions. -sending for Adam's book today. Think it will answer a lot of my questions. The unknown is scary. Have a great day everyone.

Susan Lynn  Susan - You will go through every emotion, many of us were surprised to hear about our valve issues.  Your confidence will increase as you learn more and you'll eventually look forward to putting your procedure behind you.   You've come to the right place for your questions,  support, or just a virtual hug.   Best of luck!