Patsy's Journal

I know I haven’t been on here in forever. My health has been a total nightmare, but…the biggest nightmare of all happened last Monday morning. I had went in for a procedure, was hooked up to the IV and about to be wheeled back when my husband, Larry, got super sick. I called for someone to come to my room. He was having a heart attack. I was instantly unhooked and they put him in my bed. He kind of giggled about getting my bed and then told me he was scared. I remember rolling my wheelchair up beside of him, rubbing his arm and telling him how to breathe and that it was ok. Paramedics tried to get him to the ER, but he had a massive heart attack and died in route. I’m truly heartbroken. I miss him. Please remember Andrew and I.

Hello, everyone! I wanted to check in and also ask a question. I haven’t been feeling well for months and I don’t seem to be getting any better. My cardiologist told me that he knows I’m not getting any better and I need to get my stuff in order. He said there’s not much more they can do for me, and he is sending me to Barnes in St. Louis to see if they might have something to offer. I don’t know where he thinks I’m going. I have my stuff in order, but I’m not planning on going anywhere! I’m going to keep fighting like a tiger. My right lung has started building up fluid, and they have decided to drain my lung about every week. I have a question. I’m scheduled for a cardioMems the first part of August. Has anyone on this site had this procedure?

Happy Easter, everyone! He is risen….just like He said! I hope you have all been blessed throughout the day. I think of you often, and I’m so thankful for all of you!~✝️🕊️🐇🐥🐰🐣

That March wind!! It’s nearly blown me away! Andrew and I went on a little road trip to New Mexico to celebrate his birthday. Stopped by the Cadillac Ranch and left our mark on the cars. Spent a couple of days at the Oja Spa in Santa Fe soaking in the thermal pools. Visited Georgia O’Keefe’s museum home in Obiquiu. Went to the Bandelier National Park. Got my lifetime park pass and wheeled around in a wheelchair. Saw the Rio Grand Gorge and made our way across the bridge. Drove through the Carson National Forest and did a lot of sightseeing and driving along the way. We had so much fun that I didn’t want to come home, but there’s always an ending regardless of what you want. We had the best time ever, and I look forward to our next adventure. I’ve been struggling with a lung infection since the weekend after we got home.😬 I’m on some pretty high~powered medicine and…. I’m getting a new ride! The doctor decided that I need a wheelchair to ride around in. 🥳I never dreamed the day would come that I’d be excited to get those wheels, but I am excited. She also said that if I would wear my mask, that when I get better, I can venture out in public now….as long as it’s not in big crowds. I also have some exciting news. In May, I am scheduled to go to the Washington University in St. Louis, MO to have some testing and to see if they can help me. I think of you all often, and pray that everyone is getting stronger and healthier. I also think of and pray for those who are waiting for surgery and those in recovery. It takes a village, and I’m so glad to be part of this one! I can feel your prayers, and when I close my eyes, I can see your faces. I cherish each and every one of you!

What a windy, chilly day it is here in the Ozarks! I decided to stay in today instead of going to the studio with Andrew. Brrrr! So far, I've had several text and phone calls to make sure I'm following the rules. No vacuuming, etc. I've admitted that the vacuum is out, but so far I've not fired it up.😇I'll have to get that thing parked back in the closet before everyone gets off work for the day.
Ever since the holidays, I have been struggling with congestive heart failure. I remember the day they stormed into my hospital room 4 years ago and blurted out that diagnosis. It was words that I never wanted to hear, but I couldn't get them stopped in time before I heard what they so excitedly had to say. I usually close my eyes when I get news that I don't want to hear, and I remember the shades of my eyes snapping shut. Now I try to face it with open eyes and optimism. I've been on a double dose of Lasix, and it seems like I meet myself coming and going....ALL day long! The doctor said they were going to try to keep me out of the hospital, and so far, we've managed to meet that goal. I can finally get a little sleep at night and it's getting easier to breathe and get around. I go back next week to have my kidneys checked to make sure we haven't damaged them further. Then, a few more weeks and they'll recheck me at my cardiologist's office if all continues to go well.🤞🙏
This winter has been a bit trying. I've lost all 3 of my beautiful roosters. Found the culprit gazing across the fence where my chickens were free ranging... a beautiful coyote, but definitely an unwelcome one. We've left the chickens in their coop and pen ever since. Yesterday, Andrew surprised me with an early birthday gift. A beautiful, 8 month old Barred Rock to match my hens! We also lost our blue heeler, Blue, to lymphoma. It was a horrible experience and I've missed him something dreadful! We got a new puppy to love before he passed. I've had puppies all of my life, but never in the house. Thank goodness he's cute! This little devil is wearing me out, and is now old enough that he's going to get introduced to his new dog house outside. We named him Griffin. He's an Australian~German shepherd mix, and we've totally fallen in love with him.
I'm sending lots of positive thoughts to all of those who are just learning that they need to prepare for an upcoming surgery. I encourage you to try to stay as positive as you can. Don't let the negativity creep in and consume you. You've been in the palm of His hands when He formed you in the womb and breathed the breath of life into you. You're still safe in His arms! Hold fast to your faith! Don't waver. If you do, brush yourself off and get back on the positive trail. Trust. Believe. You can do this hard thing that is before you!
To all of you who have had your surgeries. Press onward. Do what your doctors tell you to do. Fight. Stay strong. Keep moving.
....and for all of us....Get a hobby.🙂🙃 Get to movin'. Do something that makes you happy. Enjoy your life. Don't put anything off for tomorrow. Be kind. Live!~❤️

Look what was under the tree with my name on it Christmas morning! Years ago, I settled for a mandolin. It was recommended that I learn it first. My heart was never fully in it, but man! My heart is in it now! It was all wrapped up in brown craft paper with a vintage, brass treble cleft cookie cutter dangling from the most gorgeous ribbon. I can’t wait to learn how to play this! Happiest of New Year to each and everyone of you! Do what makes your heart happy this coming year!

2 years ago today on a cold, winter’s morn, I had my successful TAVR. I will forever be thankful for the second… perhaps I should say 3rd chance at life. Who actually knows how many second chances I’ve had?!! I will forever be thankful for the miracles God has performed in my life! Sending lots of love, hope and peace to all of you heart warriors, gladiators, Godmothers and Godfathers (Ana & Richard) and all of those waiting for their miracle. I truly love the connection I have with all of you. Thank you, Adam, for giving us this website and for all of the information and hope that it offers. Merry Christmas, everyone! Let’s take another trip around the sun!!🎄💫

I’m excited to share the 20’ Christmas tree that Andrew designed and decorated in the historical Merchants Exchange Building in San Francisco this week. It’s a nautical theme. The seagulls flying around the top are my favorite! Happy Holidays to all of you!~❤️🎄🕊

I wanted to give everyone a little hope this morning. I know that a TAVR is usually not an option for valve replacement if you have regurgitation. I had severe stenosis/calcification and severe regurgitation. After my unsuccessful OHS, TAVR was my only option. I was afraid they’d turn me down, but they proceeded with the TAVR and I did wonderful throughout the process. There is hope for the broken hearted. Never give up!!~❤️

Happy Halloween! 
Halloween has been so different for us since 2019.  We always made lots of treats to hand out at our church’s Halloween trick or treat party. Soooo looking forward to the day we can join in again. In the meantime….our chickens carved the pumpkin for us. We made little holes for the eyes and mouth using an ice pick and set the pumpkin out for them to finish. Who knew chickens had such an artistic bone?!! 🎃👻☠️🙀

We had our 46th class reunion over the weekend. I didn’t get to attend, but I made cookies for the event and I got to meet with my girlfriends for a few minutes. I didn’t get permission from my doctors….I just slipped out for a bit.🫢I’m kind of tired of being in quarantine!! This is my first get together since my heart surgeries and Covid. Talk about your heart and eyes overflowing!! These ladies have been by my side since grade school. There’s no better feeling than knowing you have friends who are there for you no matter what. Now if I could just get released to go out in public, I’d be a happier camper!💃🏻

Yesterday was my momma’s 90th birthday.🎵🎶💐🎂 I baked and decorated my first cake in over a year and a half. I truly enjoyed it, but let’s just say I’m not open for taking cake orders any time soon. I’ve had a rough summer. I can’t seem to shake the pneumonia that I picked up back in January. I’ve had it 3 times, and I’m still fighting to get over it. Lots of doctors and hospital visits. In June, they switched me from a CPap to a BiPap machine after having 4 sleep studies.🧐 My oxygen level was dropping too low at night. I was barely getting any sleep because I couldn’t breathe and was spending most of my nights sitting on the side of the bed gasping for air. I’ve also started having more episodes of afib which generally leads to several days of tachycardia which leads to higher doses of furosemide. What fabulous fun is that?! In June, I was diagnosed with gastritis and also with alpha-gal syndrome. Me! The one who never takes a walk in the woods or anywhere that I could get loaded with ticks. The only thing I can think of was my mom’s friendly dog who couldn’t contain himself. He loves me, and since I have to visit outside, he’s become my best friend. After that little escapade, my brother is slipping Smokey a little pill every month. We got our pool put up in time to celebrate the 4th. There’s nothing better than floating around on a tube, enjoying the cool water!☀️👙It didn’t last long. We noticed Larry was coughing a little more than usual, but we didn’t heed the warning. He gifted me with Covid…the very thing that we had tried so hard to avoid for over 2 1/2 years. Larry only had a cough and didn’t even know he had it. Andrew tested me twice on a Sunday morning. Both showed a positive result. He tested Larry and he was positive as well, so we knew where it came from. We were all petrified because my cardiologist had said all along I’d never live through it if I got it. It hit me hard. Andrew called my doctor and he sent a prescription of pavlovid that same day. I got to where I couldn’t breathe at all and it was quite scary. Spent over 8 hours in the emergency room. They ended up giving me a breathing treatment, a big dose of lasix and antibiotics of some sort through an IV. They spoke with the Covid specialist, and decided to send me home because I was on paxlovid. They said I needed that medication and if they kept me in the hospital, they would take me off of that and give me something that wouldn’t help with what I had. I went home with instructions to call the ambulance if I got to where I couldn’t breathe again. It kept running through my mind that I had never been so sick in my whole life. I lost 12 pounds. I’ve never seen anything like the large amounts of stuff that I was coughing up. It literally blocked my airway where I couldn’t get my breath and I was afraid every time I had a coughing spell. Apparently, I took a backset from taking the paxlovid. 3 weeks later, I finally drug myself out of bed and have tried to make a daily presence ever since. Covid was really rough for me and I NEVER want to experience it again! Andrew came down with Covid a couple of days after I got sick, and he had a bad experience as well. If anyone is wondering about the paxlovid….it’s like licking battery acid! I’ve never had such a bad taste in my mouth in my life. I am thankful that I was prescribed the medicine so quickly, but my goodness!!! I saw my cardiologist last Friday. They can still hear a murmur, and I’m scheduled for an echocardiogram the first part of November. I’ve been advised to ‘get of town’ for a second opinion with my lungs. I don’t have an appointment yet, but I’m excited to see what someone else’s opinion is. Now for the good part….We went to the 🐓Cackle Hatchery and bought 13 baby chicks🐥in May. A Brahma rooster, 3 Barred rock, 3 silver laced Wyandottes and 3 white crested, black Polish hens. They threw in 3 extra of the hens in case we lost any. We now have 13 chickens. All alive and doing great! It was fun raising them from one day old until now. They’ll be 4 months old September 10. Two of the Polish ended up being roosters making a total of 3 roosters.🐔I love to hear them crow….well…. 2 of them can crow and one sounds like he’s blowing a clown’s horn.🤡 I try to brag on him anyway. They are all named and I absolutely love our chickens!! They have brought a lot of joy to my life.
By no means did I mean any of this to be a downer. I’m actually praising God that I’m still here! I’m sending lots of love to all of you. I love this community and want to help anyone along this road that I can. Life can be hard, but….if you’re given cherries, make a cherry pie!🍒🥧 ~xx❤️

It looks like Spring has finally clawed its way out and everything is beginning to turn green and bloom and show signs of new life around here. I simple love listening to the ‘Spring Peepers’ 🐸🐸🎶 putting on their concert each night! I’ve had a long, trying fall and winter, but I’m also trying to claw my way out. I came down with a virus of some sort at the end of September. Doctor’s visits and tests of all sorts, but nobody ever figured out what it was. It seemed to go on forever and I just kept getting weaker and weaker. I landed myself in a wheelchair because I didn’t have the strength to walk across the floor. Had another angiogram the end of December which showed very high pressures in my heart and lungs….nothing actually new, just higher pressures and lots of fluid. In January, they took a sputum test and found that I had contacted Klebsiella pneumonia either at the doctor’s office or at the hospital. About a week later, they were checking for something else with a CT scan. Apparently, it caught the bottom of my lung and showed that I had an Empyema on my left lung. I got the phone call right after I had gotten home and was sent back to be admitted to the hospital…Showed up all showered and in clean PJs.🤗 They tried to drain my lungs again with that dreaded thorenthesis, but it didn’t work. He barely drew off enough fluid to send to the lab. My lungs were loculated, like honeycomb. Too many pockets! Radiation has damaged my lungs (fibrosis) where they can’t penetrate them to draw off the fluid. I was then scheduled for surgery. I remember the hospitalist telling me that he had given my records to the one who did my unsuccessful OHS, and that I would soon be on my way to the operating room. I laughingly told him that Dr. Steinberg would see my name and walk back out the door. I didn’t even get to see him! He said there’s no way they can operate on me because of the radiation damage. They can’t get in there. Can’t get a needle in much less a draining tube. I guess this should have petrified me, but I took it as calmly as I could….and I’m still claiming the victory. Why worry over something you have no control over? They sent me home with more medicine and told me if I get sick with anything to head to the ER…not to wait for a doctor’s visit. I have a few more tests coming up. The same thing is going on with my digestive system. Too much radiation damage. My valve seems to be working fairly well. I’m still struggling with passing out, but I’m up and walking. I’m doing in-home cardiac~pulmonary rehab. It’s almost laughable, but I’m proud of my 6 minute walks. 💪 On another note, my oldest brother just spent his 101 day in the hospital recovering from Covid. Keep being brave! Try with all your might! You CAN do the hard thing that is set before you! Once again, thank you to all who have cheered me on! ~❤️

64 and counting!! I had a birthday while I was gone. I woke up to the cutest table setting ever, treated like a Queen all day and then ….the dessert of my dreams!! Homemade chocolate and butterscotch trifle with fresh whipped cream.

There’s a chill in the air this morning, and the sun is spreading her rays across the earth to give us a few more days of warmth before the bitter cold sets in. I am thankful. I love reading everyone’s stories. It truly amazes me what others have been through and have survived. I looked in the mirror this morning and I noticed that once again, I have a ‘skunk stripe’ very speedily showing its silver ray. Everyone is always asking questions on how to prepare for their upcoming surgeries. I just wanted to tell everyone what I did the night before my surgery. I dyed my hair at about 10 pm knowing full well that I was going to have to get up at 3 am to be able to arrive at the hospital in time for my 5:30 check in! In my mind, I was getting ready for a long, winter’s nap the next day anyway.🤷🏻‍♀️I could have stayed up all night! Since covid hit, I hadn’t been to the beauty shop in over a year, and I couldn’t bring myself to being laid up and not feeling pretty. You do what you gotta’ do sometimes to keep yourself sane. I didn’t say a word to my husband or son, and they didn’t come check to see what I was doing. I look back on that little maneuver, and I’m thankful that I took the time to take care of myself. To all of those in the waiting process before surgery, take time to do something for yourself that makes you feel special. Just don’t wait for the midnight hour. ~❤️

I had an appointment with my cardiologist September 3. Everything seems to be coming back together. He said that I’m physically looking better since my surgeries. Who knew that he noticed how rough I was looking? I thought that by curling my hair, I had that all covered up. I had gained a pound and you would have thought that I had won the race. I’ve thought on that several times. Instead of telling me how much I needed to gain (like they have for literally months), he praised me for that 1 pound gain. That did something in my brain which has caused me to feel relief instead of me constantly monitoring everything I eat and praying that it sticks to my bones. I’ll get there eventually. I’m still having a lot of blood pressure issues. He took me off of spironolactone. I have been keeping a record of my bp readings morning, noon and night. This seems to have stabilized my blood pressure. I’ll turn in my readings next week, and hopefully, I won’t have to add another medication to the handful that I’m taking now. I also saw my GP the same day, and they both urged me to get the covid vaccine booster. I got it before I came home. ….and boy, did I ever put on a show! I went into the bathroom after I received the shot. I got so weak, was jerking all over and I barely got the door open to get help. They instantly saw that I was in trouble and wheeled a chair over for me to sit in. They cooled me down with cool cloths and gave me water to drink. I shook and jerked for about 20 minutes while the world looked on. My greatest fear was that those coming in to get their first vaccine would turn and run back out the door. They didn’t, even though I was in the station where they one-by-one came in and bravely took their shots. 30 minutes passed, I came back around and all is well. Andrew and I have laughed about my performance. 🙂🙃 I go tomorrow for an ultrasound of my carotid artery. I’m still having a lot of trouble with my eyes. Hopefully, we’ll get this all under control. Also…. I marked something off of my bucket list that I didn’t even know was on my list. I played a little basketball with my son on Sunday morning. It was the first time I’ve ever attempted to shoot a basketball and I made 5 hoops! I looked a lot like one of those aired-up, balloon men flapping in the wind, but I could have cared less. Check. ✔️ We also bought a couple of lottery tickets. My ticket was a ‘win all.’ I got an old wrinkled $10 bill, and Andrew sped out of there. My brother text me back with a ‘sinning on Sunday!’ congratulations, since we’ve been brought up that you don’t gamble. Sorry, mom! All-in-all, I had a good week. Hopefully, I’ll get good news tomorrow as well. Keep the faith. Do what your doctor tells you to do. Keep doing your exercises. Drink your water. Stay in tune with what’s going on in your body. Be kind. Encourage others along the way. We can do this!! ~❤️

Thought I'd post an update on what's happening with me. I went to see my cardiologist last week. First words out of his mouth when he came through the door was, 'No difibrillator needed right now.' Yay!! I had a bit of a scare when they took me back down to have my echo redone. The doctor couldn't see what he needed to. Apparently when you're too thin, it's harder to see your heart. The technician explained that it was like looking through a picket fence and trying to take a picture of something behind the fence. Cute visual that he acted out! The second echo, with a senior technician, didn't show anymore information than the first. They used the enhancer IV with both. My ejection refraction has improved a bit. He said I'm still not 'to the top of the hill', but to keep trying. I'm really struggling with walking. I'm breathless and I have a hard time not passing out. Some days are easier than others. I still have fluid on my lungs, and he said I might have to have another thoracentisis.....of which I might RUN.... well.... I might have to devise another plan because running is out of the picture. 😉I still have heart failure and a few more things going on with my heart, but my valve is doing great. I came out of there with a lot of hope. I go back in 3 months. My son and I go walking every morning. My husband joins us on the weekends. I have 6 more sessions at rehab. I can do this!

I’ve been experiencing some high blood pressure readings at rehab that have kind of come as a surprise to me. I have always had low blood pressure. At home, my systolic pressure is usually in the 90s and the diastolic pressure range is in the upper 40s to the mid 50s. When I’m at rehab, it’s always higher. I’ve even taken my cuff in to make sure it is giving me correct readings. A couple of weeks ago, I was on the stationary bike, and I had what I refer to as a bike wreck. I got on and right away I saw that I couldn’t do it. I got off and made my way to the nearest chair. They struggled for a bit to get my readings. My blood pressure was 190/70. My heart rate had also shot up. I have afib, so they thought I could have went in and came right back out of it. If so, I sure didn’t experience what I normally do...no trying to pass out and I didn’t exactly feel my heart out of rhythm. They had me to sit there until my pressure got back within normal range, benched me for the day and sent me home. Last week, I thought I was doing better, but they told me on Friday that my blood pressure is trending upward and that I need to call my doctor. I can’t for the life of me recall what they told me they think is happening. I was kind of stumped. I’m also experiencing some body jerking when I have over exerted myself. When I sit down, it’s almost like a rocket taking off. My upper body literally jerks me from side to side like a rag doll. It doesn’t last long, but it’s terrifying for me and my family when they see it happening. Has anyone else experienced this? I’ll call my doctor tomorrow because this morning I had Moe’s surgery on the side of my face. They had prepped me before I even thought about mentioning my new heart valve. No problem! I guess there are others who forget to mention it because it wasn’t long until they returned with antibiotics for me to swallow. This is my fourth go around with Moe’s surgery, so it’s like, ‘Hello, old friend!’ They got it all, so I’m good to go again until my next round. No rehab for me this week. My job is to rest and keep my head above my heart. Also...I’ve had a couple of messages that don’t show up on my page. Is this normal? I hate it that I don’t know how to find them or what to respond to.