Kimberly's Posts

Adam, is there any way to ask the community if anyone else has been on or is on Rilonacept injections for pericarditis? Also, has anyone been on Flecainide for arrhythmia after surgery? I am still very skeptical about trying the drug because of the possible side affects it can cause. I think Drs are just stabbing in the dark right now on how to try to get my rhythm back to Sinus, but have said the junctional is not dangerous, just uncomfortable and makes my heart work harder with each beat. Seams as if I just do nothing at this point for a while, may be my best option. It is just very hard to function like a normal human being like this. Doing my best and just hoping things start getting better. Sending love to everyone and thank you Adam for creating something I can go to to, not feel so alone ❤️🙏 Most of my family has kind of just stepped away except my youngest son, who is so kind and good hearted, but even he cannot handle talking to Drs or looking at MyChart, as it makes him too anxious and he already has very bad social anxiety as it is. He drives me to all my tests and apts, which are at least once a week with all the specialists and I hate this for him. I have tried so hard and almost begged my sister, who has every opportunity and means to help out with al of this, but just get brushed off or ignored since my surgery. We were so close growing up and out kids were also very close growing up. Every Holiday together, Birthdays, and I watched my nephew and twin nieces when they were babies and toddlers. I just do not understand, as I would have been "all over" this if it were her. I am sorry for venting, but just feeling very isolated and unwanted now. I understand people with chronic illness now very well. It is hard for loved ones and friends to cope with seeing you hurting or they just do not want to feel sad? So many chronically ill people lose spouses and family because they do not want the responsibility or put in the extra effort or time. My empathy for others won't let me be this way, I can not imagine abandoning a family member at their most vulnerable or leaving them altogether. I try to put on the happy face most days and force my way through the day by doing my household chores, my Etsy orders, at least stamping them on days i can and making sure to thank my son, hug him, tell all of my kids I love them as much as possible, say kind words to anyone I come across and put out some kindness in this world. Every Drs office, rehab, when I get test/bloodwork, the grocery store; you may think it strange, but I love telling random people how beautiful they look today, smiling and saying a kind word or just strike up a conversation to kill the silence and time while waiting if they seem to want to talk. We all have that blank face when sitting in the Drs office, labs, waiting rooms and just a smile or word of encouragement can make someone feel seen and not so alone. It is very hard for me when I see so many couples my age together supporting each other through these things and wanting to have that for myself. I had it all and thought I'd have it forever, but that was taken from my son and I when he was 5 years old, and honestly much sooner even than that if I am being honest (alcohol!) No, he is still with us, just will never stop and it makes him a very mean, hurtful person. I'm so sorry for the rant, but I truly love every one here and every day think of you all and the community that is here. My story will have a happy ending as I will be sure of it! Never give up hope🙏❤️