Meredith's Posts

TEN YEARS, YOU GUYS! I didn't have cake this year. We had a family tragedy a few years ago on my heart surgery date, and I don't feel right celebrating on that day anymore. I've been thinking back over the past 20 years since my diagnosis and it's a challenge to really remember what life was like before then. I mean, I was younger and more full of energy, now I'm mid-50s, but I have more energy now than I did the year before surgery! I tick (On-x). I blood test every 5-6 weeks (1.5-2.5). I haven't bled to death yet. I'm happy where I am in life, and hope you are too, or will be soon. The worst part is the waiting, the best part is waking up :) <3 Meredith 2014 surgery Clearwater FL Now in Oak Ridge TN

What's on my mind? It's been a little over 15 years since my BAV diagnosis, and 5 years since my AVR surgery. I wish I had taken the time to really listen to the heart patients who reached out to me prior to my surgery. Truth be told, I was scared to death, and didn't want anyone to know it. I'd start weeping and sobbing and getting all snot-nosed and bleary-eyed about 5 seconds in to any conversation about surgery that wasn't with a medical professional. I've had the good fortune to be able to talk with and visit with coworkers and friends as they go through various valve and bypass surgeries and recovery. They all returned to work, healthy and on-time. I'm awful glad I'm still here (although I'm not sure I would be aware if I wasn't? But that's a topic for a completely different forum!) Facing surgery helped me get my life together - mentally, emotionally, financially. I have a will. I have a different outlook on life. It's not all about the money or the house or the new car or even job status. It's about being a kinder person, savoring new experiences as well as traditions. I think if I didn't have this stupid congenital defect, I'd still be plodding along, wasting my breath and my time trying to fit in everyone else's expectations of me. OK, enough of the deep philosophical crap. Here's my advice: If you've just been diagnosed and don't have surgery in your near future, relax. The doctor's will let you know when you need surgery. Don't live your life with your diagnosis hanging over your head. Yes, it's a big deal. If you focus on the diagnosis and obsess, you're going to miss a lot going on in the world around you. Just go on and live your life. If you've got a date with a surgeon, then HOORAY! A huge weight is gone. Learn how to stand up from your chair without using your arms.Take a look around the kitchen and see where you need to move things so you're not reaching/bending. Find some freezer recipes, and spend some time in the kitchen with some loved ones & some wine making food & memories. Get one of those nifty U-shaped travel pillows for post-op relaxation. Practice exceptional posture, go for walks, try some yoga stretches. Get some comfy around-the-house clothes. Make plans for something fun & exciting about 3 months after your surgery - it'll give you something to research during recovery, and something to look forward to and work toward. If you're post-op - keep walking! Keep using that torture device/inspirometer! Stand up straight! Take naps! It's in the rear-view mirror now, it'll all be a blur soon. Work on defining your new normal, because like it or not, you'll never be the same. I ride roller coasters. I kayak. I drive a bus. I hug my spouse. And I eat cake! This year's cake was all white with a fat red heart. Publix. Buttercream. Doesn't get much better! Love you, thanks for listening Meredith Holiday, FL

Stand up straight! Keep walking, keep breathing! Get a neck pillow! I feel so strongly about the neck pillow issue, that when I hear of someone dear to me going to the hospital, I make sure they get a balloon and a neck pillow. A balloon to look at when you don't have the energy to do anything else, and a neck pillow to let you get some good sleep without getting a kink in your neck. I've read a thousand phrases in our journals that I can identify with, but the one that really made me stop and contemplate what we've been through , are going through, or are approaching, is that we really need to allow ourselves time to grieve the person we were prior to surgery. If we can't let go of who we were, how can we grasp who we are now? It doesn't have to be a new you, we just need to acknowledge that we have changed. I remember vividly looking at my chest in the mirror the night before surgery, and just being so upset that it would never look the same. And it doesn't. Consider, though, all the momentous events that have happened to you, and how they have changed you. I am so damn proud of my scar. Through my journey I have connected with others at my workplace who have gone through similar operations, and it's a hoot when we're together and we start comparing scars. (Although it's a teensy bit embarrassing to be yelled at across the cafeteria - "Hey Meredith! How's your chest?" by someone old enough to be my grandfather!) This year's cake was purple & green, from Publix, with buttercream frosting, and it was delicious. -Meredith