Cheryl's Posts

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my mitral valve repair. I'll never forget that day and the tears in my husband's eyes as they wheeled me to the operating room. I tried to be so brave for him and kept telling him it was going to be fine, not to worry. And it was fine. There was nothing to worry about. But 6 weeks after my surgery he was diagnosed with cancer. I remember the last line of my final post last year: "I wish I could fast forward a year because this will all be over by then, good or bad, it will all be over." And it is all over. He passed away the day before Thanksgiving. He went through an awful time in the beginning and the end of his cancer. But there were almost 4 good months in between that I will always treasure. He deserved a much longer life but he had no control over it. No one did. So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be afraid of having surgery. Some people are so afraid of having surgery that they won't do it which is a huge mistake. If you can extend your life to be with your loved ones then you have to do it. I wish everyone with upcoming surgeries a quick recovery. Take care of yourselves and remember who you are doing this for.

Went for my 2-month checkup. Cardiologist says I'm doing fine but my heartbeat is a bit fast so I need to stay on the blood pressure medicine. I'm amazed that I am doing so well considering for the last month I have been under enormous stress with my husband in the hospital for 4 weeks. I wasn't able to do cardiac rehab, I haven't eaten healthy or walking because after work I just have been going to the hospital for hours then going home and sleeping and getting up the next day to do it all over again. After 4 weeks in the hospital they sent him to rehab to get him walking again. His memory of the last 4 weeks is sketchy and he doesn't seem to remember they told him he has cancer. He is so determined to do well at rehab and get back home that I'm afraid discussing it will make him give up. I look back on how frightened I was to have my surgery and now I realize my surgery was nothing compared to what he has gone through. And while my heart is fixed and healed, it's not going to be so easy to heal him, if at all. I know this really has nothing to do with everyone's fears of their upcoming surgeries. But I remember saying to my husband after my surgery that this could be worse, at least it was something they could fix. At least it wasn't cancer. Now those words are haunting me and I know saying it didn't give him cancer but it's almost like now I know the real feeling of what is worse than heart surgery. I wish I could fast forward a year because this will all be over by then, good or bad, it will all be over.