Laura's Journal

Emily Rowley  Lovely message Laura 😊 How long did it take after your Surgery to feel like yourself again and feel not worried?

pino correale  Hi Laura, I have read some of your posts, they are informative and you also share a lot, which is great ! I am almost 6 weeks post-op OHS/AVR and i can say that physically i am doing great really, not so much on the emotional/anxiety side mainly due to not sleeping well at all. I do hope to get better as time goes on. The doctor gave me something to help me resting better, but only short term of course. Thanks for sharing your stories and wish a Happy New Year.

Autumn Griffin  Me too, I haven't had surgery yet and I have a lot of trouble with my memory. See my earlier post. I have read that you can have memory problems after this type of surgery, but I don't know for how long. However, when I posted about my memory problems on here people pointed out to me that I was probably stressed and distracted about my new and kind of scary diagnosis. So, maybe some new things are going on with you. Maybe you started increasing your chores or if you have kids they are back to school and you have more things to do for them.

Rita Savelis  Being under anasthesia for such a long time has long lasting effects of all kinds. I think recovery is up and down, it's not a linear path. We expect so very much from the surgery. But it affects us in so many ways.

Bill Cherry  Were you on the heart-lung machine? If so, you might be a 'pump head', like Bill Clinton.
http://heartdisease.about.com/cs/bypasssurgery/a/pumphead.htm

Tim Goff  Laura, I can't say I have terrible memory issue, but I am missing some details in my work that would not normally have escaped me. Just little things that I should not have missed. Not sure if it is just a case of "old man itis" or if there is some correlation between the post op impacts of surgery and what I am experiencing. I'm glad you brought it up though as I thought I was just being stupid.

Morgan Braddon-Walker  Hi Laura, yep... I still have issues with memory and word finding difficulty. It's better than it was, but I am not back to baseline. I am also on ASA and Metoprolol XL 50mg BID. I'm hoping with time and continued stimulation it will improve. :) Glad to know I'm not the only one. Think of you often!

Laura Metrano  Great to hear from you all. Thanks for the helpful comments... so little conclusive research on this subject, most 'pump head' studies seem somewhat controversial?Maybe it's a good thing... leaves us hopeful that theses issues too shall pass!
Wishing you all the best in your continued recoveries...

Autumn- if you still haven't had surgery, best of luck! Good job finding this community... full of comfort and insight :)

Tammy Pilcher  Congratulations Laura! So happy for you and second Bob's Amen! Prayers for continued recovery, heart sister! God bless!

Jeanette Davidson   Congrats! Isn't so wonderful to sit back and count our blessings. I'm so happy for you heart sister❤️

Kimberly Biddick  What a great story!! Thank you so much for sharing. Those of us, like myself, who have yet to go through surgery, find great comfort in hearing stories like yours!!!!

Jean Raber  I am in the same boat, but am 61. Hearing your story is very heartening (no pun intended). I hope you will post more about your post-op experience.

Elaine Foster  So happy you are doing well. I hope the migraines go away! Nap during the day if you need to, yes our bodies need sleep to repair. God Bless you

Robyn Tatu  I'm sorry about the sleep and the migraines....that's crappy. But the rest sounds so very good! I hope normalcy is not far off, too!

Tim Goff  Super to hear there are more good days than bad. Sorry to hear about the migranes, but at least you are off the meds. Hope your great progress continues. It can be a longer journey than we would like at times, but in the end I appreciate all I have that much more.

Cheryl Batzing  Laura, I did give it a try, but due to the cost ($200 a visit), I went 5X and had them show me what to do...then just went out on my own. I'm not saying that's the best, but they were very helpful and encouraging, and I knew how my heart was doing since I'd been hooked up to the rehab monitors 5X. I let my cardiologist see my results, and he said "you'll be fine on your own." Just my experience. Great question, though!

Daniel Spurgeon  My cardiologist told me it was primarily for people with complications who need close monitoring of people who could benefit from encouragement as they exercise. I wanted to exercise outdoors and resumed bicycling in the mountains wearing a motocross chest protector. This also avoided the need to work around a rehab facility's schedule and make appointments. The fresh air and mountain scenery also gave me a brighter environment to recover than the interior of a small gym. To each their own.

Rita Savelis  Here in France cardiac rehab is free and one can either stay in the rehab hospital or be an outpatient so there is a whole motley crew there. The best part was being with all these other patients who had big scars down their chests.... and not the exercices we did.

Kathleen F.  Initially I wasn't going to go to rehab, but then thought if I could gain some knowledge from cardiac exercise specialists, I wanted it. So I went just 6 - 7 times (New York-Presbyterian at Columbia) even though my surgeon and cardiologist and NP all told me I didn't need to after my the Ross procedure (with no other health issues). At first I was glad to be monitored, because on my own I would have increased the intensity of exercise more than rehab had me doing, which was easy walking and then a little easy jogging on a treadmill for 30 minutes. Also, I would have avoided using weights (which I generally don't like), and used the excuse that my sternum was still healing. They encouraged using hand weights and increasing the weight each time, which was what I needed. After a month or so, I was mentally ready to pick up the pace, but rehab wanted to keep my heart rate under 160 indefinitely. They told me I'd always have heart rate restrictions, which conflicted with what I'd been told by my doctors, so I decided to stop going. I've been exercising on my own, and have run in two 5K races and a 10K race in the last few months, and feel fine. (I'm almost 6 months post-op). I also started swimming again, and bought a bike because I prefer to exercise outdoors too, and justified the cost with the savings from rehab co-pays! I was happy to be able to exercise again and did not need the motivation or social encouragement that rehab provides. I had searched "cardiac rehab" on this site to read other people's experiences and found a few instances of people who did not go, but started running on their own pretty soon after surgery - also with their doctors' approval - and they were fine. Your hospital (Cornell) is supposed to have a good rehab program. I also found that NYU will create a program tailored to you based on a stress test, that you can follow on your own, if you want to look into that. Good luck in your recovery!

Lynn understock  I did cardiac rehab for 20 one hour sessions. I am about ten weeks out and have now stopped. My insurance did pay for it. I decided after 20 visits that I could do on my own. I walk almost two miles per day and 4 times per week lift free weights. Cardiac rehab instilled confidence in me I wouldn't tip over :-) I am 63 and was training before my aortic root and valve replacement. Hope this helps.

Wiliam Height  I tried to do it and went to orientation and one session. Where I went everyone was lumped together and most patients were bypass/elderly (no offense) with weakened hearts and same protocols were to be followed. I was further along in my recovery/excercise on my own then they would allow and didn't see the benefit and it also wasn't covered by my insurance 100%.

Laura Metrano  I'm not sure what I will do yet but good to know there are different approaches to "rehab". Thank's for posting!

Morgan Braddon-Walker  I'm in cardiac rehab, its a 12 week program. Honestly, I think its wonderful. Although I am significantly younger than most {all} of the clients, it's a personal journey and it's what you make it to be. I love being around experienced and wise people and I have already made a few friends. :) The sense of community and support is great. We each have our own rehab plan so the expectation is not that my experience will be the same as a 70 something who underwent a CABG. The nurses and physiologists are very motivating and will help you achieve whatever goal to want to achieve. I also like that I am monitored as I increase my activity level. It gives me a great sense of peace. I also like being accountable to be somewhere 3 days a week for one hour. It helps me feel productive and gives me a sense of achievement. :) Best of luck!

Tim Goff  Glad you are feeling better now. Slow and steady wins the race, though it is very hard to hold back when you are feeling better. At least you are off the metropolol and on your way to getting better every day.

Ericka Carlson  Hi Laura, your progress is amazing, don't let one instance of overdoing it bring you down girl.

Try taking Magnesium Taurate for your pulse, I took it up until surgery and started again as soon as I got home and have had no problems with BP or pulse at all. (knocking on wood) I was even able to stop taking the Metoprolol already.

Sending you hugs from across the internets!

Morgan Braddon-Walker  So glad you are setting better boundaries for yourself. I'm sure that will be an important lesson for me as well. I just started cardiac rehab today. I'm hopeful they will help guide me. And I'm glad to see coming off the Metoprolol did make a difference. As always, positive thoughts your way.

sa cont  Glad to know I am not the only one, who overdoes it and feels the same way afterwords. To calm myself down I find using adult coloring books and colored pencils help, and when I finish a page i date it. I can look back and see how many bad days I have had. Did 2 pages yesterday!

Pat Bluemel  Yep. I was foggy for 5 weeks and it started going away weeks 6 and 7. Still suffer 4 months out from time to time with lost thoughts. Hang in there.

Petey Bello  Good luck Laura, I hope stopping the metoprolol helps your problem. I am new to the site & just starting my journey. I can't believe how much info is on this site. Reading your journal and others is definitely a huge help to understanding this whole process...
Feel Better & I hope you get more sleep!

Tim Goff  That sounds like great progress. The sleeping issues for me were tied to one of the meds I was on, no foggy issues though. Im still on more meds than I would like, but the crummy side effects drop off as the meds are dropped or reduced. Hope you get improvement on that front>

Pat Bluemel  Have you started cardiac rehab? I think that really helped start moving my brain cells around and getting them organized.

Morgan Braddon-Walker  I'm almost 4 weeks out and yes, I too am cloudy. I always feel like my mind is in a fog and I can't process information. My mind has slowed. I noticed it's greatly with the addition of the Metoprolol. I really feel this is the culprit for me. However, my resting HR is also in the 90s and I feel like I would go back into an uncontrolled flutter/fib without it. :( it's so hard to balance the meds at this stage. But similar to you, it sounds like they are only temporary. Please let me know how you feel off the Metoprolol. Best of luck. Positive thoughts your way. :)

Laura Metrano  Morgan... I've been off daily 25mg Metoprolol for 12 days (I'm 8wks post-op). So far, haven't seen much difference- maybe small improvement in foggy head feeling but still not feeling sharp, processing information still takes effort. Good news is, I don't feel any worse without it- BP fine, HR just little higher (high 90's- 105 ish)- hoping that comes down as my overall fitness improves.
I'm still not sleeping well, which is probably not helping my concentration. I wake after 4 or 5 hrs, often with anxious, racing thoughts and can't get back to sleep...difficult to meditate or read.
How are you feeling?

Morgan Braddon-Walker  Hey Laura, I'm just over 4 weeks out, on 50mg Metoprolol XL twice a day and I still feel very cloudy in my thoughts and overall fatigued. I'm glad you don't feel any worse off the Metoprolol. That's something! :) My sleep is not great either. I am still having low grade fevers at night and I'm quite uncomfortable when I lay down. I have not had any issues with anxiety, I'm sorry to about hear about yours. That sounds really difficult. I hope you find a routine or some alleviator to those symptoms. You will be in my thoughts! XO Best, Morgan

Kenneth Cole  Great post Laura. Keep them coming, the sisters and brothers that are going to join our club will be helped by this share I'm sure. God bless you.

Laura Metrano  Thanks Kenneth, although everyone's experience is different, I found reading people's posts to be helpful.

Cheryl Batzing  Laura, I enjoyed reading your post! I had OHS in mid December and had not remembered the narrow table until I read what you wrote. That is so weird, isn't it? I also had to stay in the "holding area" for way too long, and by the time it was my turn, I was a basket case from hearing and watching everything in my curtained off area! Then, they wheeled me in to surgery, and I remember having to crawl onto the tiny, narrow table that I thought surely was not big enough to hold me! Then was out...and then surgery was over. Praying for you continued healing!

Wiliam Height  The narrow table in the cold room, I didn't get many opportunities to look around after those sensory perceptions, but will never forget them.

Steven A Husted  yes i had the numbness in fingers and hand but did not think it was from the surgery not sure where it was from i thought maybe my hand had fallen asleep it might have something to do with ohs good question maybe someone can help answer question steve (popeye)

Ann Keating  I had mitral valve repair also--it was Feb. 11. I experienced some lightheadedness, not sure if that's the same as dizziness. And yes on the visual disturbances. Also have always had migraines. I am still seeing little bright specks of light all around sometimes. It doesn't last long. I noticed it happened more after surgery though I've seen the specks for years. Hope your recovery is going well.

Suzanne Hunter  I had and still have some slight dizziness, bright flashes, slight curtain over eyes. I went back into hosp with possible TIA's but inconclusive. I started ocular migraines about 2 years before I found I had bicuspid valve. so really the experts don't know why such things happen. You are right because it is unnerving. I am now 9 months post op and it has lessened but not completely.

Laura Metrano  thanks for your comments steven, ann and suzanne, seeing cardiologist today. I'll post any thoughts he has.

Tim Goff  visual and dizziness- still at 6 weeks, but from the heavy doses of metropolol and amiodarone I believe. Until I am "clean" I wont know for sure. I recall being extra vigilant about not getting up too fast etc for several weeks after surgery. I

Nancy D  yes! I have had migraines all my life, and I woke up with an aura and had several every day for the first 2 weeks, but no headache developed. My theory is, that a migraine is a vascular headache and with the mitral replacement there was a huge difference in my circulation than before and it would take time to settle out. It is much better now! I also have visual disturbances, and I found that when I was seeing the bright flashes of lights like lightening bugs, or grey spots, if I checked it, my B/P was lower than normal. I needed to increase my water/fluid intake and my dr wants me to increase my salt intake also to keep my blood pressure up. Before I realized why, I was seeing the fireflies or spots and get very lightheaded, and a few times I almost passed out, but managed to sit or lie down quickly. Happens only rarely now when I get behind on my water drinking. I boost my salt with a powerade or a small can of V-8 juice. It will get better.

Greg Johnson  Yes, I had very numb right fingers for two weeks post surgery. Then occasionally for 4-5 weeks post OHS. Now it is gone. (10 weeks post op) The blood pressure meds (Metropolol) definitely messed me up from a pulse rate / BP perspective. Also I found that if I don't drink 32+ onces of water throughout the day, I can feel it.

  Fantastic!!! I was hoping to hear how your big day was! So happy, and will be sending positive healing thoughts from Richmond, VA!

Laura Metrano  Jennifer- I think they call it a mini-sternotomy? The incision looks to be around 6-7 inches. I still have steri-strips over it. I will try and post a photo soon.

Wiliam Height  Laura, you have prepared yourself well and right where you are supposed to be. Everything will be fine! Looking forward to your postop stories.

Tim Goff  You have the right attitude with which to take this on and will do great tomorrow. There will be a few challenging days, but I'll bet you will overcome any of the obstacles.

Pat Bluemel  I didn't realize you have Dr. Girardi!! He's amazing! You are in great hands. He was my second opinion, I chose to go closer to home here on the west coast, but only based on Dr. G's expertise telling me it was time. Sleep tight tonight, we will be watching for updates.

Duane Beeman  I can lay on my back for DAYS with no discomfort at all. Even WEEKS during football season. It just takes practice.

Terry Shermeister   I like your attitude about controlling the things that you can and letting go of the stuff that you can't control. It's the way to be! Positive and healing thoughts are coming your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Pat Bluemel  One day at a time. I can't imagine what it's like having kids to care for, but honestly, they must be a nice distraction to focus on. I remember well those middle of the night wake ups. Try not to worry too much. Also, do something special for yourself this week!

Susan Bach  I was there Laura, 4 weeks ago. They all say waiting is the hardest part . Recovery is not easy, so make sure you have plenty of help, not only for you, but your children. Hire a house cleaner. Take as much responsibility off yourself , running the house. You need all your energy for your recovery. You have youth on your side , so all will be fine. I wish you all the luck the Universe can bring you. Keep us posted. Remember, your not alone.

Tammy Pilcher  Pat's right Laura, your kids and their needs will help keep your mind occupied. That's a blessing. You're also right about the surgeon and team will take good care of everything. You can just take a nice nap and wake up fixed! Yay!! Prayers and best wishes!

Tammy Pilcher  I didn't see Susan's post until after I posted, but I second what she said too! Make sure you have help after surgery!

LaDonna Mangile  It will soon be here. Stay positive ask for help. Speak to your social worker at the hospital about your needs and fears before you leave at home. They will help!

Jason Lathrop  You're doing everything right, controlling only what you can. I really had a hard time pushing away thoughts about the actual surgery itself, unbidden images of me undergoing it. We are pulling for you. You will soon be on this side of it and healing.

Tim Goff  Laura, don't make the to do list too big, so many things can wait. Spend some fun and quality time with the children. Though mine are older we spent some quality time the weekend before and a night out the evening before that was so relaxing and enjoyable. The docs and the med team will do their job and yours is to remain calm, strong and positive. You will do great!

Laura Metrano  Thank you for all the great suggestions! I will read and re-read these posts, so helpful & comforting.

Terry Shermeister   Hi Laura: I'm thinking about your and sending positive energy, prayers and good thoughts. Best for you and your family.

Jim Kelly-Evans  No plastic surgeon, but I did mention to my surgeon that i would like a clean incision and a careful closure. It worked. I really have a narrow incision and I'm confident that it will heal to where it is barely visible, They used glue on the incision with just a few sutures inches apart.

Mona Miller  The main things I wanted was pajamas! Button up top and baggy pants. Comfortable house shoes. And my own shampoo! Also my iPad and charger so once I was "back" I could check in with everyone.
Sending you good vibes and plenty of prayers!

Jennifer Miller  I always over pack, but the items I ended using were: a robe, slippers, underwear, pajama bottoms & my own toiletries. To tame your hair, take barrettes, ponytail holders or headbands. For the ride home: sweat pants, a button up top & front closing bra will be most comfy.

A side note about bras: I thought wearing a bra AT ALL would be painful, but breasts pull on the incision, adding to your pain. I even slept in a bra! I had a mini-sternotomy 3 months ago & wore a bra 24/7 until just a couple weeks ago. Front closing, non-underwire bras were most comfortable for me.

Hope this helps! You'll feel so much better afterwards.
Take care, Jenni

Nancy D  Lip therapy! What ever is your fav for dry lips! PJ bottoms- capris or boxer type work well to cover your assests in the walks in the halls. I wore the hospital gown as the pockets are big enough for the wireless monitor that you will walk with- my pj tops had no pockets or too small pockets. I loaded my ipad with music and found that good to drown out the hospital noises, and lull me to sleep. I also found a notebook was helpful - people left me notes if I was sleeping, and I would write down what the Drs and nurses said to help me recall the instructions. Front opening soft wireless bra for sure, and comfy loose clothes for the ride home. Prayers for a speedy complete recovery, with zero or few speed bumps along the way!

Adam Pick  All great things referenced above! You may want to consider ear plugs. Sometimes hospitals can get a little noisy with all the bleeps and beeps. https://www.heart-valve-surgery.com/heart-surgery-blog/2007/09/10/ear-plugs-and-hospitals-amen/.

Louise Llewellyn  Some great advice above. I was also grateful for my dry shampoo!! As I couldn't wash my hair until I was back on the cardiac ward on day 9 (I was in HDU for 8 days due to recovery complications) it kept me feeling more like myself and clean!

Tim Goff  a toiletry kit with shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste were most welcome after day 1 when I could move about. Gym shorts and flannel pj pants made things more comfortable also. The hospital had quite a few more comfort items than i thought.

Janea Christensen  Hi Laura,
My first OHS was 9 years ago and my kids were 5, 4 and 18 months. Now i have another one looming and they are 14, 13, 10 and 7. I too am getting close to telling them what is going on...probably after my next dr. appt. I haven't thought about how I am going to do it yet. The first time I let their teachers at school know and asked the teachers to be aware of them and if they saw signs of stress or acting out to let me know. As for what help you will need.... My surgery had some complications and I have a very rough recovery. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks so I needed people manning the home front. When I got home from the hospital my 18 mo. baby forgot who i was and was calling Grandma "mommy". Here is a post I wrote on another forum about milestones I reached during the first 6 weeks. I think you will find it helpful.

You will notice I was able to watch my own kids by myself for 2 hours on day 14 (that is 4 weeks after my surgery but remember...I had serious complications and my recovery was not normal. Also my children were very young and required lots of help and attention.


Six weeks post op -- Recovery Milestones
May 9th, 2006, 08:14 AM
I can't believe it's been six weeks since my surgery. When I came home from the hospital I longed to fast forward time so I could be here, at six weeks post op. Prior to surgery I was very intrested in learning what the recovery process was like. So for those of you who have the same curiosity here is a list of when I reached various milestones over the last6 weeks. (I journaled them-- this is not from my memory)

Note: I spent almost 2 weeks in the hospital so my first day home was day 12 post op. Remember to add a week and a half to whatever day I am on to figure out how far post op. I am.

Day 1-3 (that is the first three days home from the hospital)
So happy to be home but utterly exhausted. Could only get off the couch to use the bathroom and go on three short walks which I FORCED myself to do. Of course I sat up at the table to eat meals etc... I was extremely emotional and cried at least 5 times a day. Looking back on it I can't believe what an emotional wreck I was and it's kind of embarrassing. I felt very depressed and worried that I would never be the same again. I couldn't read or watch movies as I was too dizzy (the room was still spinning a bit) Slept on couch proppep up.

Day 4 I am able to watch T.V. now. Emotionally started to stabalize though still sad and depressed. On day four I slept in my own bed all night long but was extemely uncomfortable. I made my own toast-- Hooray!

Day 5 -Left the house for the first time-- Post surgery appt. with the surgeon. It was very exhausting. I dressed my son (1 1/2) in his clothes .

Day 7 - By this time I was walking 2 walks a day. One thirty minute walk and one 20 minute walk. I helped with the dinner dishes which made me feel very happy.

Day 9 - ( 3 weeks post op.) Exhausted. Worried about all the suffering in the world. Strugggled with managing painful headaches. I am able to read books now.

Day 11 - Exhausted and nauseated. Slept alot. Motivating myself to walk was very difficult. Headaches still bad.

Day 12 - Set a goal to cook something. I made banana bread with my 4 year old. Hooray! Only problem is I missed an ingrediant (the leavening) and my banana bread was lead bread...like a brick. My kids didn't care and we ate it anyway!

Day 13 - Still having a hard time sleeping at night. Went on a 2 1/2 mile walk.

Day 14 - Watched the kids (3 of them) for 2 hours by myself

Day 15 - (4 weeks post op) My four week surgery anniversary. We celebrated by eating crepes with vanilla custard, strawberry sauce and whip cream (I made them!)

Day17 Drove my daughter a couple blocks to school. I could have driven sooner but I didn't want to because I was too dizzy.

Day 18 Drove to the store myself and my 4 year old and I bought some crickets for her frog and wnet to the fabric store. Amazing!

Day 22 Went to church for the first time and stayed the whole time (there are 3 meetings each an our long so, quite an accomplishment!) My son is finally starting to warm up to me. Up to this point he had attached to my mom and called her "Momma" and everything. He wouldn't have anything to do with me up until this point.

Day 23 (5 weeks post op) Started cooking dinner myself! (Easy stuff) And went to the grocery store with my sister. Big milestone! I walked around the store pushing an empty cart and she did all the "shopping", bagging, loading food into the car and put everything away, but I was just as tired as she was when we got home. We also had two babies with us during the event! Quite an ordeal!

Day 24 I prepared dinner all from scratch - Totellini soup, Salad with cranraisens, almonds and poppyseed dressing, and cornbread. Spent most my time on my feet with only with short rests between activities. Walking 3+ miles a day.

As of 5/8/06 I am 6 weeks post op. Two days ago I stopped taking my sleeping pill at night and am able to stay asleep all night. What a relief. I am much more comfortable sleeping and turning in bed isn't painful or labored. No more headaches. No dizziness. Yesterday was my best day ever. I felt more "normal" than I have since pre-surgery. I cleaned the house for a couple hours in the morning. Rested. Then I spent the rest of the day planting my flower boxes, making and making hanging flower baskets-- So fun! It's something I look forward to every spring. I am still making dinner each night. This is my last week to have a family member over in the day to help me with the kids. I am a little nervous to do it all on my own, but I think I will be okay. I am worried about laundry and grocery shopping as both tasks are so big and so exhausting, but I will have my husband help me with those things. Everything else I think I can do on my own. Now that I am so busy with many of my normal motherhood tasks, I am finding it hard to squeeze in my walks and will have to do them early morning.

So happy to be alive. So happy to start feeling like myself again. I know I probably won't be the same for months and months but I am amazed at how much better I feel. The weeks are just starting to fly by. In the beginning of my recovery they seemed to be going at snails pace. Every day seemed like a week!

Those of you who are just starting your recovery-- Hang in there!

Clare Auten  My kids were 4, 7 and 13 at the time of my surgery. The hardest part of recovery for me was the lifting restrictions. My husband went back to work 10 or so days after my surgery and I was able to get the older kids to the bus stop and watch the littlest one while he was gone. I do think I took a few naps during sesame street. People from my work brought food 3 days a week and the laundry was a challenge with the lifting restrictions.

Tim Goff  It is perfectly normal to feel the way you are, especially about the necessity of surgery. Step back and take a look at the indicators from your first diagnosis in total to build a "case". Personally I chalked up many of my indicators to "old man itis" instead of MVP and MR which likely contributed to landing me in the hospital. Surgery after that was a much easier call. It is great you have a trusted surgeon selected so you can move to the next leg of this journey. Wish you the best.

Jim Hernandez  I totally understand how you feel. I am a week away from surgery and it is too surreal now. It was easier when I could say weeks or even months away, but now down to days. I recently got married on the 13th, so all the focus and attention was set on the wedding and it allowed me to escape the thoughts of surgery. But now, it's all I think about and I am hoping I can get to that place most folks on here get to before their procedure, that sense of calm and peace....
I am hoping I can soon be telling you that all will be ok with your procedure after experiencing it myself....but I take it on good authority from our heart brothers and sisters here :)

Ben Hyman  I'm in the same boat. My MR was diagnosed in 2006 and has become severe. I'm researching my surgical options now. I was "freaked out" about needing OHS, but after reading Adam's book, I'm able to come to terms with it. You're young and healthy ...you'll do fine. Keep in touch.

Ben from Minneapolis

Ericka Carlson  Yup, I am right there with you Laura! Please don't ever feel like you are alone in your feelings. It's like my logical brain knows the fear is an overreaction on my part, I can list 20 good reasons why my surgery will go just fine... But that irrational part of me is one loud and annoying voice! LOL
I think Pat said it was the loss of control that got to him, and I think that's what I am feeling too... anxiety over the loss of control. I do already have a panic disorder from nearly drowning years back though, so I know my emotions are a bit out of whack.
The best I can do is take each day one at a time and try not to over-think everything. Some people get comfort in researching every aspect of this journey, I find that for me ignorance is bliss. I trust the team at Northwestern to do what they have to do to take care of me, they are a top-notch facility. And importantly I spend time with all of you who can empathize like no one else can.
Sending you hugs and strength!

Tammy Pilcher  Hi Laura, I felt the same feelings you describe before my surgery. I prayed for God to give me peace and courage to be able to get through it all and He did. I felt a calm come over me and I was able to actually feel happy that I was going to get my heart fixed. I am almost 5 months post op and I'm doing great! It turned out to not be as bad as I imagined it would be. You can do this and God will help you. I wrote a post in my journal titled "surgery experience". It might help to relieve some of your fears. Best wishes, Tammy

  It is truly a mindset, meaning it becomes almost a fight or struggle to regain control over feelings of anxiety and not being in total control of what is about to happen. It is OHS, and you have every right to feel the way you feel, and it's normal. I took it in phases....first get the surgery done, ,next deal with recovery in hospital, next deal with recovery at home. I took control over what I could, and had to keep reminding myself how lucky I was that I knew about this in advance and had a chance to do something about it. I still have moments as to why I ended up being born with what I had, a structural defect that only surgery could fix.....but thank god it can be fixed. Not everyone gets that chance. Having that clarity and focus on finding a great surgeon, like you did, all helps. JOURNALING helps. And remember, we all recover differently. Finding the most skilled surgeon for your issue is THE most important thing you can do in all of this.

Henry Goodwin  Laura, as you can tell, you are not alone on this roller coaster ride of emotions. I also was almost asymptomatic and was taken by surprise when my cardiologist told me it was time for surgery (15 days to go).

Jason Lathrop  That roller coaster is exactly the ride I've been on. Surgery is a few weeks out. I have no advice, just sympathy. So many people who have been through this on the other side say so many positive things, I'm just hanging onto that.

Bill Hendrickson  Laura, I experienced the reality/unreality feelings about 2 months before surgery then that yielded to minimum apprehension before surgery. I was aware that my MV was a problem in 1958 but no surgical help was available in the US at that time. I lived with this condition for many years but show time 😒 only comes when your surgical date is scheduled. I wish you well on your journey. You will feel like a new person on the other side.

LaDonna Mangile  I understand I feel the very same way. Wondering if it will be better....very scary to say the least. I don't have chest pain and today I did!
Keep your faith!

Bob M  Welcome to our awesome Community! Although you jumped into the deep end of the pool, you can swim! God bless and rise up!

Duane Beeman  I've been paddling around here for a couple months. I meet with the surgeon next week. Also asymptomatic. If this is the worst thing that life throws at you, laugh in its face. We ain't dying. Were getting better . Now that's real.

Nancy D  Having it in the rear view mirror is way better than the waiting! I felt much like you did when I heard it was time for something I never thought I would need. So much for the life long "it will never bother you" line I was given since I was early teenager. But, the nurse in me told me I was being bothered by it. Now 7 months post mitral valve replacement (it was too far gone to repair) I am better than before and still making improvements! Hang in there, it is overwhelming, and scary to find yourself facing this, but you too will get through it!! Take good care, ask, read and arm yourself with information!!

LaDonna Mangile  It is very scary...I'm 8 days away...and get very anxious.... trying to stay busy. We will all be here for you when your date comes. Prayers!