Natalee's Journal

I went in for my pre-op on Friday and, despite my having a cough and cold, they gave me the go-ahead for my surgery tomorrow. I met with the surgical team and found out that I am a very rare case! It is not often that pulmonary valves are replaced in adults, so they were "excited" to get to participate in the surgery. I'm glad someone is excited about it! With my surgeons guidance, I have chosen to go with a stented tissue valve. I would like to avoid being on blood thinners, and chances are very good that the next time I need this valve replaced it will be trans-catheter. I feel great about my decision and have no reservations about it. The hubby and I had date night on Friday, then yesterday my parents, in-laws, and daughter and son in law came over and helped me clean my house and decorate for Christmas. That felt SO GOOD to get that done. I am so appreciative of my family's help and support! We also got to spend some quality time together last night which was great. Today I am planning on getting my bag packed, paying bills and taking care of some last minute preparations. The rest of the time today, I just want to spend enjoying my kids. I am still waiting for that feeling of "calm and acceptance" that everyone says will come....today I just feel shaky and numb. Hopefully I will be able to find the strength somewhere to get through tomorrow. I do know that I am in great hands, and that the odds are very high that I will come through this with no complications. I am trying to stay strong! I will see you all on the recovery side!

Exactly two weeks from today I will be having OHS to replace my pulmonary valve. It has been a long few months, full of doctor visits, tests, waiting, worry, stress, more waiting, and lots of emotions. I feel like I have felt everything from shock and sadness, to anger and denial. I'm not sure if I am at the acceptance part yet, but I am hopeful it will come. Despite all my preparations and information gathering, I still feel very emotionally unprepared. I don't know if that is even possible! I have been spending my days lately in preparation mode, partly out of necessity and partly out of distraction! The task of having my preschool ready to hand over to substitute teachers for a few months has been overwhelming to say the least, not to mention Christmas shopping, cleaning, and arranging for care for my young kids. I am indebted to my family and friends who have all stepped in with their help and comfort. No matter how hard this is going to be I know I will get through it! I am putting my faith in God and the skilled surgeons who I know will take great care of me.