Destini's Journal

susan kotansky  Two weeks??!!!! Give yourself a little time Destini...you're just out of surgery. Sounds like you're just where you're supposed to be and it WILL get lots better....soon. Be patient and pamper yourself and of course let everyone else pamper you too!!!

Cheryl Shute Walter  You have been through a traumatic physical and emotional experience. Please cut yourself some slack. I'm not one who sits down easily either, but I'm now about 8 weeks post surgery, and I still have to remind myself to take it easy. Do what Susan said and pamper yourself and let others pamper you!

  Sounds like you are doing great, Destini! I remember how zapped with energy I was those first few weeks. It gets better day by day! Sounds like you have a great support network. Thinking of you!!

Elaine Cutri  It's most likely from the surgery. The op table surface is so hard and they may have had you in a funny position. I had similar aches in the center of my back and neck. A light massage gave me some relief. This pain takes a while to go away, but it will, I promise. You're only a week past surgery? Your job is to walk, nap and do your breathing exercises, and watch bad movies 😊 . Sending prayers and good thoughts.

Cheryl Shute Walter  What Elaine said! I had back and neck pain more than pain from my incisions. Take your pain med, that's what it's for. I also had pain in my pecks, which was aggravated by the weight of my breasts. Don't lift or push anything right now. I'm 7 weeks post op and my pecks are still a little sore but tolerable now.

Sophia Ridley  You may find sitting with a pillow behind you gives some relief. A neck pillow too have been a suggestion and checking your posture whilst walking. Also check how you're getting out of bed and standing from sitting, make sure you're not leading with your chest.
It will ease off. Take pain meds at regular intervals rather than when you feel pain will hopefully take the edge off it.
I sleep on a bed wedge which I've found much more useful than I expected.

Destini Hutchins  Thank you I tried a lot of these, and then asked my Dr if I could do something for the discomfort he approved aleave 400mg which was such help do the the relaxing of my muscles

Mary K  There are many possible reasons for the pain, the main thing is to keep it under control. If the muscles are in pain, they may tighten up, causing more pain.

Meredith Bray  I had awful back/shoulder pain a week after surgery. My physical therapist visited me at home and helped. here's what he said:
1. Your head is heavy - about 15lbs. That's a lot of weight to hold up. Make sure whenever you are resting/laying/reclining/sleeping that your head is supported. Use a travel pillow (the U-shaped type) or a t-shirt rolled up under your neck. The muscles that hold up your head extend pretty far down your back. Give them a rest!
2. Start using your "core muscles" again. RESIST the urge to curl inward and protect your chest. Stand up straight and tall, as if you are President or king or Supreme Leader or whatever floats your boat. In essence, have excellent posture at all times.
3. The worst part for me was trying to sleep. We built up a wedge in the bed made of towels and pillows and blankets. It ended up looking like a bird nest eventually. But what helped the most for sleeping was supporting the weight of my head, AND supporting the weight of my shoulders and upper arms. A bed pillow wedged under each arm lifted the weight off my shoulders and neck muscles. I was finally able to relax while I was sleeping in 4-hour spurts.

So ... excellent posture, head support , and walking. You'll feel better in no time!
-Meredith

Cheryl Shute Walter  The first week is the hardest. Now time will go by quicker, especially being home. You said it, you are very independent and so am I. You will get through this and so did I (now on week 7). I slept a lot the first several weeks, and now I'm able to do most things on my own. I know it's hard to be patient, but you need to. Don't hurt yourself!

Robert Frederick  The second and third week I started feeling a little better every day. It took about three weeks also for me to get mentally detached from my work, even though I was away from it in all other respects.

Lauren Burt  The mental piece has been the toughest for me. You will have good days and bad but things will get easier. I actually have just started journaling my experience, feelings and emotions through this process (and I'm 7 months post op) which was recommended by Adam pick and several other people and it is def. helping! You have just been through a traumatic experience both physically and mentally but time WiLL heal. Try not to be to hard on yourself, do too much and stay positive!
Best wishes to a speedy recovery!!

Sophia Ridley  Be kind to yourself, embrace the help and give yourself tiny goals like showering, getting dressed, short walks. And if you need a nap do, don't push it. Recovery is a long journey not a sprint!

Tahiti Pearls  I just stay positive and look forward for bright future ahead after the surgery. I keep myself busy with what i am passionate about. And most of all i am grateful that after surgery i am still alive. There are so many things to be thankful for. My surgery made me stonger, wiser and a better person because i learn to appreciate things even better now and i worry less. Each morning i wake up, i smile because i am alive. If it works for me then i guess it will work on you, too! Keep smilin Destini!

Wanda Mroz  When I was released, I was told that some days I would feel better than others. Good days and not so good. Remember that. If you happen to have a rougher day, it's ok. Just relax and rest. That will happen. It is rough the first couple of weeks, but you will make slow progress . If you overdo, your body will let you know. One step at a time. Give yourself time to heal... Remember you are not 100% healed inside and out until at least six mos to a year. Slow and easy does it.

Sophia Ridley  You are doing fantastically. Do ensure you listen to your body and rest. Naps are great, if you get clammy because of the mattress cover ask them to double the sheet, same for pillow. I was much more comfortable after that.

Anna Jones  Great news, Destini, that you're ready to be moved out of ICU. Sending best wishes for continued smooth progress.

Whitney Nelson  Your chest tubes are already out! That's awesome! I was think those didn't come out until the 3rd or 4th day. Glad to hear that's not the case. I am so glad you are doing well!!

Cheryl Shute Walter  Wow, you are so lucky to have your chest tubes out so early. I didn't get mine out until day 6 in ICU (I did have some complications - heart block necessitating a pacemaker). Sounds like you are on the road to a very smooth recovery!

Melinda Queliz  That is awesome!! So I ask everyone because this is my biggest fear....how bad was it feeling the tubes come out?

Wanda Mroz  It takes seconds Melinda... They gave me a shot of fentanyl in my IV just before. It hurts a little but it's so quick and will feel so much better when they are out. Don't worry about this part too much. Honest... Been there done that!

Destini Hutchins  Honestly its just uncomfortable and as soon as they are out it's easier to breath. Its a few seconds of not fun the worst part of the tubes are the stitches for me at least

Emily Rowley  Yay! 😃 I'm so pleased to hear this wonderful news! Will the repair last forever? Enjoy eating your food 🍴 What's on the menu?

Cheryl Shute Walter  Take a deep breath and know that the worst part is almost over. I am about 6 weeks post surgery and am feeling so good! Praying for a successful surgery and smooth recovery for you!

Sophia Ridley  Best wishes for tomorrow, you'll be through before you know it and can restart your life! Thinking of you.

Robert Frederick  Everything is set. You on the final glide into the surgery. When you wake up afterward, life will look much different and better.

  Excellent! Best wishes! Warm thoughts of healing headed your way! Keep us posted on how you are doing post surgery!

Lauren Burt  You will do great! I'm 7 months out and fully recovered and can exercise for long periods of time without even getting tired where as before I was always "sucking wind" no matter how good of shape I was in! Best wishes and enjoy the new life you will have and new found energy!!!

Wanda Mroz  Hugs... You'll do great! You're right... My heart beats so quietly now I'm just beginning to realize I had way more symptoms than I ever thought.

John Murray  Hi Destini, I'm having surgery one week from tomorrow too. Don't worry you'll get through this just fine. Praying that you have some peace and that you have a wonderful & uneventful recovery. John

Elaine Cutri  Don't worry about your to-do list. Make sure you have comfy clothes to come home to and some music and ear buds. Let your mom take on the worries. Let your boyfriend keep you calm and focused on the future. You will be up and around before you know it. It looks like you have a great surgeon and awesome team to take care of your plumbing issue ;-) Sending good thoughts and heartfelt prayers over the next few weeks!

Cheryl Shute Walter  Destini, I had to wait 13 years for my surgery, and now I'm 4 weeks post surgery and am so glad it is over. I had scared myself so bad, and it really was much easier than I thought. Yes, you will have pain at first, yes you will be weak, yes you won't be able to do everything you could do before, but you will get better! I am now 4 weeks post-surgery and am feeling better every day, even though there has been a step back every once in a while. Take a deep breath, and don't sweat the little stuff. Things have a way of working out. I will check back on your progress!

Destini Hutchins  Thank you all I can always count on everyone on here to ease my mind a bit. I can't explain how grateful I am .

Mark Caswell  Good luck Destini. Fast is good in my opinion. This time next week I will be on the road to recovery.

Jeff V.  Stay positive, Destini! Focus on what you can control. Think about all of the inspiring stories and info. you have read from those who have been down the same path and know, really know... that you can do this!

Kelly Weisgarber  Hi Destini,
I didn't feel ready at all, physically or mentally but here I am 7 weeks post op. You can do this! Try to relax and take it day by day. Good luck!

Kody Monigold  Hi Destini! I'm 9 weeks post op now and I know exactly how you feel! I was a serious psycho when it came to readying my nest for my return home. I think cleaning help keep me preoccupied so I say go for it if it helps at all. There is no way to not be nervous right now, but know that when it's over, it's over! You won't remember the worst of it, and you'll be on your way to recovery before you know it. Make sure you do some serious yoga stretching of your arms and chest of you can before surgery. The worst part for me was how stiff and sore my shoulders and back were. If I had to do again I would have stretched a lot that morning. Know that everyday does get better, but sometimes it will feel two steps forward and one back. That's okay. It just means your fighting like a warrior! It's okay to feel upset, and don't be embarrassed if you feel like it was really hard. Talk with your peers and lean on your support without shame, they will be happy to have a job and part in making you better. Advocate for yourself in the hospital and ask every single question that comes up. Don't feel shy, ASK. Light and love your way fellow heart soldier (: Waiting for your updates!!

Emily Rowley  Same, I look at my untidy room then look at the calendar for how many days I have left then think "Oh no, I need to prepare more quickly". 📅 But I feel mentally ready, wanting to get fixed soon as I can & on my road to recovery. Sometimes when we have less time things get done and when there is plenty of time, not so much... What type of blood work are you getting done on Monday 11th? I have all my Pre-Admission tests that day. Wishing you all the best 😊

Christine Oliva  Destini, you can do it! I am a big baby and told my surgeon I didn't want any pain and he started laughing. It was okay, yes there is some serious discomfort but, you can get through it with a fighting spirit. The pipes and drains are only for a few days and some people even sooner. Once they come out you will not only be more comfortable, but at least for me I took it as reaching a goal and my husband noted I stopped whispering and my voice returned to normal. Guess what I felt stronger and definitely hopeful.
Now 3 months later, still a little discomfort but I am up and about, walking my dogs, going out to eat/social, driving, excising, just graduated rehab today and in a few weeks returning to work. Focus on the positive, its okay to be afraid, angry or whatever you feel, tell somebody and hopeful this will help you vent and most importantly give you some perspective even on those days when you feel gloomy. I had a few and still had one yesterday but it is okay you are not a robot. Coming here and sharing will help you.
You are not alone, I'm sending a hug to you and a prayer for peace and recovery. Best wishes Destini

Melinda Queliz  Prayers your way. I don't think everyone on this site realizes how much of a blessing they are to others. I look forward to hearing the rest of your story.

Cathy Talactac  Hi Destini ,I know how you feel and it give me tears .I was on your shoes 2x in my lifetime .Recent was 2006 wherein my Mitral and Aortic Valve had to be replaced .I wish I have known this group back then .It is so comforting to know people who had the same experience .You will never be ready for it ,pls don't try to finish all the task that you think you need to do .As what my mother in law always tells me "work has no end but life has". At this point of your waiting, you have to slow down and just relax .Meditation is good and deep breathing exercise .You want your heart to be relaxed before your open heart surgery .Take care and you will be with my prayers.

Sophia Ridley  I have MV repair 5wks ago.

Pre-op does sound mysterious, I remember asking what it entailed. Mine was a few days before admission on two separate days as I was still in work. It was a series of tests such as MRI, Echos, ECG, X-ray (I had lung ones too), blood tests and a long chat with the nurse regarding medical history (she also did BP, pulse, height, weight). I prepared my medical history ahead of time as have had quite a few different procedures and reactions, included parental and grandparental history too. It all helped as I didn't worry that I had missed something. You may need to see the anaesthetist and surgeon prior to admission depending on the outcome of your chat. You'll see them the day before surgery normally.

Memory is bit sketchy so hope others can add to this if I've forgotten anything.

Michael Meyer  Sophia has covered it well. Heart cath must be completed to ensure no artery blockages ( very doubtful based on your age, but they would probably complete). The assumption is that a TEE has been completed. Minimally invasive mitral valve repair also completes sonograms on both femoral arteries to ensure the heart bypass can be competed without any issues/problems.

Artie Rubin  Pre-Op (if you mean the days/weeks before surgery but not the day of surgery when they prep you) is essentially "looking under the hood of the car" (i.e., you, lol) to make sure everything's running good enough so they can operate on you. Don't feel intimidated by all the things they do, feel reassured instead. It means you're in good hands.

Here's a suggestion I can pass on from personal experience (MV repair, Aortic valve replacement, full open heart incision). There are two sides to your current situation: standing on the outside looking in, and standing on the inside looking in. When we're on the outside looking in, it all seems very strange (and thus scary) to us.

But when we're on the inside looking in, it all becomes very familiar--and friendly! It's no longer strange. So how do you move to the inside looking in, when you haven't had your surgery yet? You do it on sites like this and checking out some of the great material on other internet sites by people who are firmly planted "inside." We're a great club!--and not everyone gets to join, lol. I love showing off my incision, especially when my friends (or is that ex-friends?) are eating.

The name of our club is simply Healthy Hearts. And what could be intimidating about that?

Anyway, you absolutely won't feel alone if you come inside. Every good wish for your op, and Happy Birthday!

Emily Rowley  Lovely message Artie!

Pre-Admission=alot of testing ie. for infections, x-rays, blood tests, body measurements, fill out+sign forms, talking with Nurses, etc.

Pre-Op= Morning of Surgery. So prep for Surgery ie. couple of showers in antiseptic soap, body+shave check, cannula/s in+slow working anesthetic, vital signs monitor. Then wheel you in Hospital bed to Theatre where you wait behind the doors until the Team is ready for you. Once in-lift onto Operating table+gas masked to sleep.

Next=Wake up in ICU with breathing tubes & most important a mended heart Yay ❤😊

I had full Sternum Open-Heart Surgery.

Destini Hutchins  Thank you, I was asked if I will be working still and I'm not sure do you think I should take it off or be working any opinions

Emily Rowley  I'm taking time off work before my Op, 1wk before when my Pre-Ad starts+3mnths Post-Op. I think it's a great time to spend time with family/loved ones, prepare for Surgery, do things you enjoy, relax & try to calm the nerves. 😊

Enrique K  Love your attitude Destini! You will do great with your surgery. I have never felt this way since I got diagnosed 3 years ago and got fixed:-)

Liz Burroughs  I'm glad that you're focusing on the positive! You'll soon have a mended heart and you can move on and enjoy your life. Good luck! We're all here for you!

Doran Herritt  That's good. Soon you can complete your plan. Get that heart fixed. And get on living. Prayers heading your way. Take care, drn

Billy G  Hi Destini, I don't think there is any "certain way" you are suppose to feel. Everyone will have different feelings, and those feelings will likely be different at different times. I would bet almost anything that any feeling you have had, do have, or will have are feelings that hundreds of thousands of others have also had along their journey.

I somehow managed to never have too many negative feelings, but I credit that in large part to a few things. First, I learned as much as I could about everything, which added a lot of comfort. Second, I always reminded myself that tens of thousands of people have a similar surgery in the U.S. every year. I knew I was younger and healthier than many, so if they could get through it, I knew I could. Third, the only way for me to live the healthy and active life I wanted to live was to have surgery. There was no changing reality, and the valve issue was not going to solve itself. Thus, the sooner I could get it fixed, the sooner I could start recovery and get back to normal life.

My best recommendation is to try to focus on the positive and the things you can control. I know there are a lot of scary parts about this surgery, but I simply tried to not think about them since I could not control them. I had faith in the surgeon I chose and felt like I did everything I could do to give myself the best chances to get through everything as smoothly as possible.

Hopefully that helps at least a little. There are obviously tons of us here to talk to, so use us to talk to if it helps!

Doran Herritt  Hang in there. As I told you in the other posts, the waiting is the hardest part. Your through the tee. Sounds like you r getting a plan together. Soon you will through all this and on your way healing. What happened today that was good, fun, exciting. Find those moments everyday and be thankful for them. Thankful people tend to be happier. Maybe it can help you too. Prayers for your peace. Take care. Drn

Emily Rowley 
Talk to your Cardiologist about his or her recommendations for an excellent Surgeon, who you will be in good hands with.

Positivity goes along way! I was so positive I would come through my first OHS alive and recover well. And I did. What helped was taking a great Holiday away doing things I love and things I had never done before. Try focus on preparing for your recovery and thinking about things you would enjoy Post-Op which you've never had the time for before :)

It's hard, I even find it hard that most Cardiologists and Surgeons and people in your daily life don't seem to acknowledge the emotional part. Open-Heart Surgery is not just physically tough, it's incredibly mentally tough and alot of people don't understand this. We are all here to support each other through out our journeys.

I was disappointed at the lack of empathy people close to me expressed when I told them of my big news-this is normal and although it comes across they don't care, inside they do care very much and want the best for you but may not know what words to use. Take your time in talking to your Boyfriend.

Give yourself time, as Billy was saying there will be times of anger, disbelief, appreciation, peace, contentment, sadness, worry and positivity. Guess that's why it's a journey!

I will be praying for you (this helped me before my Op). Take Care and let us know how you feel, Emily.

Destini Hutchins  Emily, Doran, and Billy G. Thank you for your words they really help calm my nerves I am coming to realise this is out of my hands I have picked my surgeon and now we wait to find out dates. With thinking positive helps I would really like to learn how to surf, and snow board and a lot of other things I didn't think to look at all of the things I can do post op. Thank you for this really I can't explain what ease you all put my crazy brain at. Thank you again

Liz Burroughs  Hi Destini, I understand how you feel! I had my mini mitral valve repair surgery 5 weeks ago. I was very afraid but I went through with the surgery anyway. I knew that my mitral regurgitation wasn't going to get any better & I didn't want to have any permanent damage to my heart. I wanted to get the surgery over with & move on with my life. You have most of your life ahead of you. Once you have your surgery you won't have to worry about it any more & you can enjoy the rest of your life. My surgery was successful & yours will be too. We're all here for you. Everything will be fine. Take care. Liz

Emily Rowley  You're so very welcome Destini. That's what we are here for :) That's great to hear! There are so many great things to do and learn Post-Op, so just take your time and stay positive :)

Billy G  Stay strong and positive! I know a lot of people say they reach a state of being ready. I never truly felt that because how can anyone ever be truly ready for something so major? But I always said I was as ready as I was going to be and was possibly pretty close.

Whenever I even slightly started to have questions about going through with everything, I reminded myself of how things would only get worse if I did not fix the problem, how many people have gone through a similar surgery with a great outcome, and how skilled the surgeons, doctors, and nurses are.

Just before taking me into the OR last Friday, my surgeon asked me if I was ready. Before I could even answer, he said, "Of course you're not ready. You can never be ready for this. But I am going to take care of you, and you will do great." I laughed because he was exactly right, and so far, I'm doing great! You can get through this, too!

Kimberly Biddick  I agree with Billy. It's hard to be truly ready for such a major surgery. However, I did reach a point of being ready to get the aneurysm out of me and start feeling better. Knowing I wouldn't have that weight on my shoulders every day made me feel more ready. Best wishes to you!!

Enrique K  Destini, the sooner you have the surgery the better for your health. It's normal to feel nervous before surgery but wait to see the results:-). I'm 5 weeks post op and have never felt better. As Bob Marley says " EVERYTHING GOING TO BE ALRIGHT".

Doran Herritt  It does get easier the closer you get. You end up accepting it. Great comments above. Everything is going to b alright. Take care. Drn

Daniel Spurgeon  I think most people feel this way, and it makes sense. Just try to focus on the positive results of obtaining the treatment to lift your spirits.

Lisa Shepherd  Your never ready when I got to hospital for my surgery I took of and hid, refused to get into the bed, I'm fine nothing wrong I said. I rang a friend crying she called the hospital and told them where I was, they found me..,lts not fun but trust them they know what they are r doingxxx

Wanda Mroz  Do it before things get worse. I wasn't ready either but knew it was prime time. It'll be slow at first, but you'll notice a change quickly! I can't believe it's been 14 weeks since surgery for me.

Emily Rowley 
How did it change from moderate to severe and in what time frame? I think the sooner the better, less time to worry which won't stop you or anyone else from worrying.
Take care,
Emily.

Emily Rowley  I too had that procedure, mine was called TOE (Transoesophageal Echocardiogram)

I found that my Cardiologist was very helpful and provided a good distraction (because he is so Handsome lol).

My results were good, although my condition didn't show up a great deal, however it's provided clear pictures for my Surgeon now which can in turn benefit me.

Any more questions, please feel free to ask :)
Emily.

Doran Herritt  Hang in there destiny. It will b ok. I often prayed to help me relax. Prayers heading your way. Take care, drn

Daryl McCallum  No one wants to hear the results but it is what it is and then you move forward. I was sad to hear my news after the procedure as I was thinking nothing could be wrong with me, but very happy they found what they needed and moved forward with the AVR. I feel like a new person after the operation. Keep the faith and think positive

Kimberly Biddick  Be prepared: have a recliner, shower chair, handheld shower head, blood pressure machine, scale, thermometer, pill boxes

Pat Bluemel  Kimberly gives all the good advice, rent or borrow a recliner, get your care station all set up prior to surgery. Move stuff on high shelves you think you might need down low so you can access all you need w/out help. I had someone monitoring me my first week home and did just fine on my own two weeks out from surgery. You'll do swell.

Doran Herritt  You will be surprised how mobile you will be once you leave the hospital. I got through it without a recliner. I think you will find you won't be a burden at all. Also that people are good and they want to care for you. Prayers your way. Take care. Drn

Angela Hicks  I had a T.E.E done last year and it was not bad. The worst part was drinking this really thick stuff.

Enrique K  Hello Destini, the worst part for me was the IV since I hate injections. Very simple procedure seriously, this procedure is a peace of cake. You will be knocked out with a nice cocktail. I didn't have a sore throat at all.

Steve Waddick  I've had two done. They aren't too bad. Numbing the throat was the worst part for me and of course the sore throat after. Other than that I don't remember a thing.

Cathy Slipski  You are not crazy at all! I get these sudden emotions where I just break down radomly all the time. I am so scared also so please dont ever think you are alone.

Christine Oliva  Destini, first you are not crazy. It is a big procedure and yes there are risks. It is not a fun procedure and no one has it voluntarily. Everyone is different so you will need to find your rally point. I found mine though recognizing I had no other choice and what can I do to increase my chances of recovery, i.e. what can do to make my recovery easier. It can be things like comfortable clothes/items, how am I going to sleep when I get home, will somebody be available to help and how will they help. Get your networks together it will help relieve some of the fear.

Second, are you willing to go 100% into not letting your recovering heart have all the responsibility/control. Your heart will need help & time to heal, but as it does what can you do to make it easier., diet, some walking, the spirometer, keeping positive and being aware of the signs of trouble. This heart recovery process is real work and is not for the faint/passive of heart. (kind of ironic isn't it).

What you are feeling most of us felt. At one point I thought I told my husband I felt better so maybe I don't need the operation. (The previous day I almost blacked out walking to my car). Most people reach a point where they accept it and yes that will bring some tears but it prepares you to go forward.

You are not alone. I wish you peace today and hope for tomorrow. Blessings from my house to yours.

Destini Hutchins  Thank you both you have no idea how reassuring that was. I think it's slowly setting in. I don't have a choice I think not knowing is what's really killing me

Tammy Pilcher  Dear Destini, your feelings are completely normal. There were times I felt like I wanted to run away and hide before my surgery, but I knew I needed the surgery to save my life. I know it is so scary right now for you, but you can do this. My surgery turned out to be not nearly as bad as I had built it up in my mind to be and my recovery hasn't been bad either. I am praying for you and if I can answer any questions for you, I will. I wrote a post about my surgery experience in my journal. It might help ease some of your fears. God bless you, heart sister. Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.".

Sophia Ridley  Destini, This is a perfectly normal reaction. This site is wonderful for advice and comfort. I have surgery "a week Monday" (surgeon said it so casually!) my echo shows that my condition had worsened in 3mths. I'm beginning to accept as this is life preserving surgery. I found focusing on the next test / visit was best for me.

Whitney Nelson  Destini when I found out I was a hot mess!! There are still nights I can't sleep for thinking about it. This site has helped the most seeing how many people who have the exact same thing as you and not only made it to and through surgery but are better for it! Good luck!

Clare Auten  It was the same for me. I cried as I entered the OR. Luckily they were quick to give me something to relax me. Praying for you.

Doran Herritt  I think as you go through some of the steps leading up to it will help to. The tee, the heart cath. Talking to your surgeon. It's a path. You will build a plan. You need to trust in it and move forward. A lot of people talk about stages as you go through this. Fear/sadness are the first stages. So your reaction is normal. My experience was that I wanted to live a long time and the surgery was the tool to get me there. You need to know thousands of folks go through this each year. It's almost routine. You can do it too! Peace to you as you proceed. Take care, drn

Eddie Patton  Cry, cuss, throw things and feel guilty about it later. Been there , totally normal. I guess for some of us that is part of the process to get ourselves ready.

Doran Herritt  Just don't throw things at the tv. It's football season! I hope today finds you more hopeful of all that is still to come. Take care, drn

Billy G  Hi Destini, I am up for surgery next week and have been heavily researching a lot since discovering I had severe aortic regurgitation in late August 2015.

Everyone is different with what they experience, what feelings they have, what the outcomes are, etc. I cannot say this will not change or that it should reflect how you or anyone else should feel, but I personally stay as optimistic about everything as I can. I am sure some challenges lie ahead and do not expect things will be easy, but life is never simple and easy.

I try not to focus on the negative things that could occur during or after surgery because I know that (1) modern medicine is incredibly good at fixing these type of issues; (2) there are tens of thousands of these surgeries in the U.S. per year (and a couple hundred thousand worldwide per year), the outcomes are very good, and I expect positive outcomes for myself because I am younger (34) and in better shape than many others that have to have heart valve surgery (e.g., my grandfather needed valve surgery around the age of 85, but he was too old and not in good enough shape to survive it)); and (3) although I would prefer to not have to have surgery, I know that if I do not have surgery to fix the problem, my heart will likely eventually fail from overworking to compensate for the leaking valve.

It's natural to be nervous and have all kinds of mixed feelings. I'd encourage you to stay as positive as you can, use this site and others to meet other people and learn as much as you can, and find a great surgeon that makes you comfortable and who also has a great team and great experience with your specific issues.