Sara's Journal

Tee Ad  Sara, I’m so sorry your scar is still so sensitive and uncomfortable for you. Have you tried the linocaine strips? I put them in either side of the scar and it helps numb the area. My other thought is maybe you could ask a dermatologist about best treatment? Btw, I’m one of those heart warriors who unfortunately is not comfortable showing my scar. I am proud I did the surgery (Jan 10) —recovery has been hard, but I don’t like my scar at all.

Shannon Gray  Oh Sara, I just want to be able to give you a hug. I understand and felt the same way. I would do everything possible to avoid looking at my scar when getting ready and totally went on a new wardrobe hunt ( much to the frustration of my husband) for higher neck tops/dresses. I get it.. I truly do. And nothing anyone says can change the fact that there will be that scar. I did use the Mederma ointment and some scar strips... maybe around the nine week part. I also used vitamin e... Just check with your dr if you’re able to begin. As long as it’s not still a scab or open wound like area. Many gentle hugs to you.

Bob Gillespie  I'm sure you would rather hear the women's perspective but I am 18 months post OHS full sternotomy and hardly notice the scar. One thing I didn't do was mess with it. I just let the glue work it's way off with time. the worst thing you can do is to keep touching it (other than the scar ointment), just let the healing process take place

Jennifer McInerney  I used nothing and I can hardly see the scar, it’s just a very thing line. You do have to use strong sunscreen on it . I’m 3 months post op.

Judy S  Hi Sara, I totally relate to your feelings. I am still adjusting to my wardrobe changes almost five months out. When the surgeon gave me the go-ahead, I started with silicone strips alternated with mederma. I didn't find that either did anything for me. I know it is all dependent on how your individual body heals, but I have recently been using Scar Away silicone gel in a rollerball formula. It may just be time but it could be this product. I feel the scar has flattened but it is still very red, and I'm not exposing it to any sun. Mine was never tender, but I would wait to do anything while there is still irritation. The funny thing is I don't really think about the scar for myself--I think more about other people, but I understand the sadness.

Rita Savelis  It takes time to be able to get more comfortable with a scar. I avoid mirrors and it is always a shock to see it and my pacemaker bulge. But it's still very early for you and your scar should fade. My only recommendation is to absolutely avoid any sun exposure for a year. Then your scar should eventually match the skin tone around it. I hear you. It's hard. Sending empathy. I am always jealous of men who send bare chest photos of the day after surgery.

Sara Moyce  Thanks so much to everyone above. I will definitely ask my surgeon as well as my cardiologist!! i appreciate your empathy and shared feelings!!

Lisa Ferguson  Hi Sara - check out my posts from a couple of years ago, I shared some pics of my scar over time. I felt the same emotion, it made me sad, but two years out I feel a lot better now. I had good luck with my scar care. I never tried scar creams since I read many mixed reviews so I used a silicone gel sheet. I starting as soon as the scabs dropped off. The one I bought was called Cica-Care but there are lots of choices on Amazon. It fit over the entire scar in one piece and it was washable so I could use it for a couple of months before it lost its stickiness. It's clear and tacky so it sticks well (unless you really sweat) and it was not really noticeable. And it helped with that sensitivity since it protected my skin from rubbing on my clothes. I was VERY committed and I wore it for most of the year. It's not cheap, but just one sheet lasted 6 months - it came in a big rectangle shape so I cut it into 3 strips. It definitely kept the scar from turning keloid and it really was comfortable to wear.

Sara Moyce  Lisa - thank you, thank you. I just googled Cica-Care silicone gel; had never heard of such a thing. I also just sent an email to my cardiologist asking if I have her go ahead on that product, and/or any other topical treatments. I am so inspired by your success! I read your most recent post (I think November?); how are you doing now???

Lisa Ferguson  Hi Sara - I'm doing okay thank you! As far as my scar, about 2 years after surgery, I had a couple of laser treatments to remove redness in a small area that was still sensitive. It helped a lot and although it's still pink, it's not sensitive at all. The laser treatment was painful I'll admit! We will always have a scar, and sometimes it really shows and other times not so much. With enough time it really becomes something you don't think about, but it sure helps if it isn't bright red and doesn't hurt!

Meredith Bray  That was my worry-spot for a long time. It WILL go down! Mine was probably 4' across at one time. I just looked at some photos from my 2-month mark, and I don't see a bump. It might have still been there, but I couldn't see it in a photo. I remember having some scar sensitivity around 6 months. I was worried about my bump, too, but it does go down.

Thomas Brusstar  I definitely had a pronounced ridge that developed after about a week, including swelling that kind of propagated up into my neck at first. It was concerning. Mine was worst up at the top near the collar bone. I actually went to the emergency room because the swelling seemed to be moving into my neck over the course of a few hours and I developed a red rash all around the area on my neck. I was freaked out a bit. But they did xrays and even a ct and said it's all healing fine, the ridge is normal and not any indicator of mis-alignment or anything. As to the rash, they had no clue and said I should put some cream on it or whatever. I felt stupid being all panicky, but I am not an expert on open-heart procedures! I wasn't back then, anyhow. (I personally guess, in retrospect, that it was a sun sensitivity thing from the mega-antibiotics I was on.) But the bump definitely gets better. I'm at 5 months post now, and I suppose it might be a little raised, but maybe not. Some ache in the sternum is still there sometimes, but not a big deal. The scar is healing nicely.

Tom Bartolomei  Try using a heating pad. That worked great for me to lesson the swelling. I’m 4 weeks post op and there is little to no raised portion of my incision, particularly at the top of the incision.

Louanna Miller  My incision was raised too for about 6 weeks. It has gone down nearly completely at 3
1/2 months. I had a little sternum incision soreness last week, but it wasn’t bad.

Anders Carlos  mine went down after about a month. Once it was completely closed I was massaging it with a silicone/vit E lotion 2x a day. There is a little bit of a nub there if I push down on it but completely not noticeable visually. Glad you are on the other side!!!

Willie Radl  Mine was raised for a few months but is flat as can be now (8 mo later), I don't remember exactly when it went totally flat.

Sara Moyce  Thank you all for alleviating my stress!! I especially like the idea of a heating pad👍. Happy healing to you❤️

Barbara Wood  I didn't have back pain, but I found it nearly impossible to sleep for more than 45 minute stretches on my back. Really I found that to be about the hardest thing about my recovery! I bought a big body pillow at bed, bath, beyond & on day 5 home began slowly moving toward side sleeping- just a little more each night. It took about a week to accomplish full side sleeping, but what a relief! Oh, I used a 9" wedge too & had a full sternotomy. Best recovery wishes Sara, hope you get some pain relief & good sleep soon!

Sara Moyce  Thank you so much Barbara! Just to clarify - did you have a sternomoty too? I am advised against sleeping on my sides but I have been sneaking in an hour here and there on my right side for a bit of relief!

Barbara Wood  Yes, I had the full sternotomy. I had the green light from my surgeon to side sleep at whatever point was comfortable for me, but I'm guessing that docs have their individual procedures & precautions :)

Steve Farthing  If your doc allows Tylenol and Aleve, that might help reduce the oxy dosage. They might allow you take them together. Maybe rent an ergonomic recliner for a few weeks? Some places will deliver and pick-up.

Anders Carlos  I’m a side sleeper too and have been unable to sleep on my back. I eventually had success with a memory foam wedge (30 degree incline) and stacked pillows on both side of me (under my arms) and pillows propping up my knees. It wasn’t perfect but I started getting some sleep. After 2 weeks post op I just decided to try laying on my side. My doc said it was ok (full sternotomy here too) and it hurt but I eventually was able to fall asleep.

Louanna Miller  I struggled sleeping on my back once I was home. I would use a foam wedge under one side or I used a pillow or 2 on one side and rested that side of my body into the pillows. I wasn’t sleeping on my side completely but had one side higher than the other. I also took a soft feather pillow and would hold or hug it against my sternum. It was comfortable for me and provided security to me. I just wanted to protect my incision.

Lisa Ferguson  I still struggle with back pain, they really mess with your ribs for the sternotomy and I feel like the surgery messed up my spine a bit. Working on core strength helps.

Tracy Fallu  What you are feeling is real and all normal. There’s something “magical” that happened to me the morning of. I turned my fears over to God. When I walked through the hospital doors, my mind was at ease. I had full trust in my medical team. The pre op medical staff will treat you with such care/kindness before your given some meds and take a nap.
Blessings to you and your family through the process.

  Wow! What a powerful devotional Sara!
I just read your post and was truly inspired by it.
Reading devotionals such as this and placing your trust in Jesus Christ God's Holy Son is definitely going to help push you through this thing called open heart surgery.
You are gonna be just fine.
God holds your life and breath in His hands and He will bring you through this.
I am not just saying that to be saying it.
That's the mindset He gave me before and when I laid on that operating table. Yes, I had a great surgical team lined up (which I also believe was not of my own choosing but an act of God's providential blessing and care toward me) but I KNOW that GOD HIMSELF holds my life and breath in His hands and that He would be with me in that operating room, overseeing the ENTIRE procedure to it's completion. And that even though I would be in a deep sleep (thank God) and unable to do anything to help myself, HE who never sleeps would be there to work on my behalf through the hands of my surgeon and medical team. That's what pushed me over the top to be able to face my heart valve surgery head on.
You are in a good place in your heart Sara because even though you have the fears and anxieties (I did too, as well as many others) you are looking to the ONLY ONE who can (and I believe WILL) bring you through this successfully.
Stay close to Jesus, Sara, and watch Him overwhelm you with His peace, care, and amazing love. When it's over and you are on the recovery side your gratitude and love toward Him will bring tears of joy to your eyes.
I can testify to that.
Peace and blessings to you and your family!

Louanna Miller  Sara, Jeremiah is correct. He has shared a great message with you and I will just ditto it here.

God, the Great Physician, is going before you and will be right beside you working through the surgeon’s.

I, too, read Sarah Young everyday. Take it with you to the hospital. There were nights where I would read a few pages after my husband left the hospital. I just felt a peace one over me and I could relax enough to rest. His peace to you.

Lisa Guinan  I was really afraid I’d be a bawling mess the morning of my surgery. I didn’t shed a tear. I was surprisingly calm. I had lots of people praying for me. No doubt that it helped.

Dan Baltazor  Praying for you for Peace until surgery. Hang in there. It is emotional and tough but keeping standing in His love.

Molly Ivers  Tracy is right, the pre op team will do a fantastic job of making you feel calm. I am happy you have found some solace in your readings, for me it was poetry. Please don't be scared, everything will be all right.

Jill McDonald   Wonderful reading. Thank you for posting. I'm only about a week behind you. You will be my inspiration as I approach my day.

Blessings!

Debbie Moriarty  I am so grateful for your post, Sara, and sharing your devotional from Jesus Calling. You inspired me to get mine out and start power reading! I find myself hovering in limbo between moments of complete peace and trust in God and then sheer anxiety and fear of the unknown. In those fearful moments I get online and read postings from all of you on this forum. Each of you is so inspiring, so caring, so helpful!!
As I have getting so tired a lot easier lately, my reading has diminished. But I still need to hear your thoughts and read your inspirational guidance. Thank you Thank you for writing and sharing!!
2 days and counting!!

Bill Pollard  I felt the same way. But I also know God had a plan for me that included getting a healthy heart. As I look back on the past 43 days, the support from my surgeon, the nurses, my family, my friends, and folks on this website has been amazing. The first few days after surgery you will be weak and sore but it gets better every day. You will be in my prayers for a successful surgery and strong recovery.

Bill Pollard  Here are some verses I referred to as I prepared for the open heart surgery.

Isaiah 41:10 - Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Psalm 73:26 - My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Joshua 1:9 - This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Psalm 139:13-14 - You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Philippians 4:6 - Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Rebecca DeMarino  ❤️❤️❤️we read the same devotional - I found such peace in that passage. Praying for you ❤️

Louanna Miller  I did not purchase the incision shield, but my husband bought me a support for the seat belt. It Velcro’s around the seat belt and rests on your chest. Very helpful!

Debbie Moriarty  I ordered one. Have not received it yet. My mother’s biggest problem post aneurism repair was her scar!! I don’t want to deal with that!!!

Dan Vechiola  I purchased it and used it a lot for the first 8 weeks especially while walking. Chest discomfort was my biggest issue post op so it felt good to have it between my chest and clothing.

Molly Ivers  I didn't purchase it and my incision is healing just fine. When in the car I did bring a small pillow to put between my chest and the seat belt (for about 2 weeks). Chest discomfort is an issue for me. I am nearly a month out from OHS and still cannot sleep in my bed.

Debbie Moriarty  Oh man! I hope that gets better for you, Molly. That is my biggest worry. Dealing with the incision.

Rebecca DeMarino  I ordered one - my surgery is Thursday and just trying to do everything I can to ease my recovery (and mind)!

Marie Myers  Can't blame you for being concerned and angry. I guess I would ask my primary doc what he thinks about that. Did the cardiologist give you any info? I am sorry this happened to you. You have enough stress in your life already!

Rob Sparling  Yikes! So sorry to hear. Very concerning! I would not know what to do with that info, either! 🤬

Sara Moyce  Thanks Marie and Rob. No info, other than "we'll make sure that doesn't happen to anyone else"...hmm....right OK. Not OK. Several "mistakes" have been made since the day I was diagnosed; am starting to have misgivings about my surgery at Kaiser in the first place.

Steve Farthing  Maybe there is some treatment to reduce the radiation effects (such as ferulic acid).

Also, several members have praised Dr. Luis Castro at Sequoia Hospital near Redwood City in case you are considering an alternative to Kaiser.

Judy S  That’s very disconcerting to say the least. Sorry you have to even think about this on top of everything else. To Steve’s point, Luis Castro was my surgeon, and he’s amazing if you have any the opportunity to choose someone outside of Kaiser. Sequoia can move quickly so you wouldn’t need to lose time.

Barbara Wood  Yikes, that's just terrible! Some of the big heart centers have cardiac- oncology departments for patients who acquired heart disease through cancer treatment/ radiation. Maybe your center does? I'd definitely investigate that further. My mitral valve disease actually was caused by radiation for breast cancer.

Sara Moyce  Thanks all. I have been in touch with the Kaiser ombudsman and continue to seek answers on how this could happen and what the implications are. Very unnerving on so many levels.

Debbie Moriarty  Oh my goodness!!! I would not stop til I got all the answers I wanted/needed!!! And by the way, anger and frustration justified! I’m so sorry!

Rob Sparling  Welcome! We rented a recliner from our local Aaron’s. They go by the month. Did not need a shower chair. Walking and standing is normal, — even into and out of shower — but was instructed to shield incision from the direct stream.

Lisa Guinan  Luckily we already have 2 recliners. I only got a shower chair because the dr required it for my sister. Might have something to do with her being 72. I just ordered one from Walmart. It was only $25.

Dan Baltazor  We were going to rent a recliner from our local furniture for 2 months and it was going to be just under $300. We bought a power one off costco.com for $350.

Nancy Luth  I rented a Lift recliner from the local medical supply store and it was a life saver. I slept in it every night for two and a half weeks after the surgery.

Meredith Bray  I was 42 when I had my surgery. I only used my shower chair 3 times, thankfully I bought it at a yard sale for $5 and cleaned it a dozen times :)

I never needed the mechanical part of the power recliner to stand up. It was nice though to have an infinite number of reclining possibilities. I could have gotten by with my regular LazyBoy recliner. I found mine in a thrift store for about $150, and donated it back to the store after 4 weeks.

Meredith
Holiday, FL

Jennifer McInerney  Didn’t use or need a shower chair but my electric recliner was a lifesaver. I slept in it for several weeks. It’s now my napping chair!!!

Nancy James  Fortunately I have a built in tile seat in my shower and as far as a recliner I found mine on Craigslist. The man was selling it cause his mother needed it, It was used for 4 months when she had to be put in a rest home - it cost him over $2,000 and he sold it to me for $400. This even has the lift ability which was really helpful the first month or so....it has heat and vibration too to help a sore back. So grateful I found such a deal. I don't need it anymore but my grand daughter loves sleeping in it when she stays overnight...so she won't let me get rid of it even though I'm not a recliner person - I like my more formal furniture arrangement, but it works out ok.

Sommer Russell  Great question. I think I will look into Way Fair and get my recliner and then sell it when I don't need it any more.

Paul Howarth  i have been looking for a recliner. the rental from the med supply store is $500 for every 30 days. i feel like buying one is a better option. but im also going to jerry rig one. does every one thing buying a recliner is vital in sleeping for the first two weeks or so? your bed is not a good option?

Lisa Guinan  I tried my bed for the first time last night and couldn’t get comfortable. I have slept in the recliner for my 5 nights at home. It’s just a regular one-doesn’t have a lift.

Debbie Moriarty  I received my electric recliner today!! It was around $350 from CostCo!! I really like it so far and I can envision myself sleeping comfortably in it!! I will sell it or give it away after it has served its purpose!!!