Raymond's Journal

George Gardopee  Raymond- I can only speak for myself but I found that I thought about the surgery after it was over a whole lot less than I did before the surgery. I found it all-consuming in the 18 months I spent obsessing and being anxious about it ahead of the actual event. Afterwards, it felt like more of an accomplishment - I felt kind of proud that I got through it with much less drama than I expected. The relief I felt when I woke up knowing that it was behind me was incredible. Anyway, that was my experience. Others will certainly chime in here. Good luck next week. The CC is probably the best place in the world for this kind of surgery.

Rose Madura  Raymond, because I ran into some complications post surgery, I was super aware of everything. That being said, I knew I had a very talented surgeon and I trusted that he did the job well. My body just didn't react well to all the trauma. Now, I don't think about it and like George I feel a sense of great accomplishment. That's why we call people that have gone through heart surgery warriors 🪖🪖. Some reach gladiator status 😊.  Trust your doctors and know you are going to one of the best if not the best hospital. Have faith in your surgeon.  Sorry this is so long.  

Rita Savelis  That depends on you. Sounds like you are ruminating now. It's something I never thought about. I thought about the after effects and discomfort and exhaustion and the sound of my heart. But I never felt abnormal. Most people are walking around with something. It's all more normal than you think. You are a singular individual and your experience will be highly personal and unlike anyone else's. Take care.

Richard Munson  You will be just fine and life will be so much better that your heart surgery will be a thing of the past.  There are new and exciting illnesses to ruminate about. I never thought i could use ruminate in a sentence . Lol. 

Grace Mason   Raymond I also wondered before surgery how I might feel "different" after having my aorta replaced with a piece of Dacron. I'm happy to say, it feels no different. After surgery I was just in awe of how well I did feel. Not to say there wasn't some discomfort right after. It felt like a small but heavy child was sitting on my chest(and this has gotten better over time) I was sitting up and walking so soon after, it just amazed me more than anything. My experience was similar to George's. I did a lot more worrying before surgery and after I was just so thankful, relieved and amazed at my ability and my surgeons expertise that I didn't worry so much about what was going on inside me. Instead I was focused on healing and working towards being released to recover at home.

Jennifer Fuller  Yes, I suppose it’s a bit odd to have a bit of animal tissue replacing a part of your own body, but I don’t really ever think about it. I’m much more focused on how I feel and what I can do to promote my recovery.

Marie-Ange Jacques   I am 3 months post surgery for mitral replacement and Tricuspid valve repair,at first my chest was tight and a bit painful but now I can say that I feel normal again.i am back to work and doing my everyday routine like before. The ticking because it's a mechanical valve and the mark on my stomach are my 2 reminders that I had a major open heart surgery.
I thank God and my surgeon for everything.
You will be okay too,try not to worry about it too much.
God will see you through.

Jill Porter  For many I think, as well as a physical recovery, there is an emotional recovery too. I'm sure after a while when you start feeling really well, you won't even think about it any more.

Rich Butela  I feel a lot like George commented.
  I friend of mine asked if I would not longer eat any pork products, since someone else he knew wouldn't after their surgery.  I'm happy to say, that it doesn't bother me at all.  
I do like to joke that I have a piece of bacon as a valve now

Sue Boyer  Saying a prayer for you Raymond. Cleveland clinic is a wonderful place. I had aortic valve replacement there in 2015 and a avr re-do this past March. They are top-notch. 

Louise Moore  Raymond, please know you are in great hands at Cleveland Clinic, but I will say a prayer for you too!  I had mitral valve replacement ( pig valve) and tricuspid valve repair in Jan. '22.  They put great focus and attention on your case to be sure it works out great. That is evident to me when surgery is over. If you look up George Gardopee's profile on this site, you will find the path and practical details about the experience at Cleveland Clinic.  I'm thrilled that I chose them and I will continue to go there for my an annual check up.  I live in FL.  Have faith, god bless and we'll look forward to an update from you when you're ready!  

Robert Miller  Is there a reason why it was already decided it will be a replacement? In both my cases they only decided during surgery. Basically, try to fix it. Test it. If it worked then leave it. If it didn't work (still leakage) then replace. Also ask if they will remove the appendage. Anyways, I wish you all the best. 

Ana Brusso  Welcome Raymond. I am lifting you up in prayer for your successful surgery December 7. Thank you for your prayer. Keep us posted. God bless you 🙏❤️

Rob Nielsen  Be assured you are going to the best Heart Hospital in the world, they know what they are doing from start to finish and beyond, you can count on getting the best care with the best possible outcome, relax, your going to be ok!

Rose Madura  I'm not one to say there is nothing to worry about because I had my share of complications post surgery. That being said, I was thankful to be in the hospital when I needed to be.  You will be well taken care of and they know how to treat any complication.  i did not have any post operative depression so cannot comment to that but others on this site have so I'm sure they will chime in.  Try to relax, think positive thoughts.  The odds are definitely in your favor.  Stay strong.  Keep us posted.  Godspeed.

Susan Lynn  Raymond - Most of us will tell you that waiting is the worst part of the process. I didn't have any post-op depression, lots of heart warriors don't experience that. Resist the temptation to predispose yourself to things that may never happen. Focus on everything going as planned. Schedule something you want to do a month or so after your surgery. Goals are important to keep you looking ahead! You'll be shocked at the amount of healing that happens in the first few weeks. You're going to be just fine!

Thomas Brusstar  Pre-surgery anxiety is the worst!  I found the recovery process amazing, as my body got better every day.  Once it was over, I was not depressed but energized.   You are absolutely going to the A-Game hospital for heart problems.

During the months before, I kept having dreams that my heart had stopped -- but after surgery I never had those again!  My subconscious seemed to admit that my heart was fine. 

Jennifer Fuller  Knowing that post op depression is a possibility is the first step. I haven’t experienced it myself, but I warned my husband about the possibility so he can be ready to help if he sees any signs, and I will certainly not be shy about asking for help if I feel it coming on. Forewarned is forearmed!

Rob Nielsen  Also get into Cardiac Rehab post op as soon as your Cardiologist clears you, it is excellent for recovery of body, mind, emotional, plus they monitor you to check your vitals and if any concerns appear, they can recommend treatment.

Grace Mason   So glad to hear you are moving forward Raymond ❤️ 
You have already shown courage and fortitude by getting your surgery scheduled despite your fears. One day at a time❤️

Rich Butela  Raymond, try to keep a positive attitude. You're going to one of the best hospitals in the world for this type of procedure (even if it is in Cleveland... ) I had read about the possibility of post op depression, but reading about everyone on this site's experiences, it seemed that it was not a common thing. This really helped me put it way down on my list of things to worry about . You got this buddy !

Steven Hayden   Raymond, I am praying for you.  I think some anxiety is probably normal while waiting.  But I can tell you that it is nothing in light of the opportunity to fix your body and continue to live and be with your family.  I am standing with you in prayer that your surgery is going to go well and that you are going to have a speedy recovery.  You got this!

Rita Savelis  I'm sorry about what you are going through. I would talk to your surgeon or therapist in order to try to understand where your deep fear is coming from. It's easy to get caught up in difficult stories on the internet. And dealing with fear is a big part of facing surgery.  Death and post operative delirium, however, remain quite rare. Perhaps there is an experience you've had in the past that is enhancing this fear? Take care.

Richard Munson  Raymond, no idea what your history may be but i can tell you that no one on earth is any more of a baby than me. I have told this true story before on this sight about the various times i tried to escape from surgery after arriving at mass general 2 years ago on surgery day. When they called my name in the waiting room, i never got up. Sadly i was the only guy in the room. Whoops, first attempt was a failure. I tried to get off the table while being shaved for surgery but the shaver held me down, tried to leave the operating room but was strapped to the table. I forgot, after my wife dropped me off in front, i tried to get back in her car but she locked the doors and drove off during covid. Heartless. Here is the bottom line, i got thru it, and it was a success as yours will be. Be strong my friend, you need the surgery. Hope this helps.

Pamela Gregory  I understand some of what you are feeling too. I have never been more scared in my entire life. My fear was that I would not be able to take the pain after surgery. I was supposed to walk into the surgery room but because I was starting to lose it when my family left me they wisely knocked me out and that is the last thing I remember before. I have also told my story before, but it was definitely nothing as bad as my mind took me to. I could definitely think of other things I would rather do, but all in all they managed my pain much better than I expected. I think the odds of post surgical delirium are extremely low. Like Richard said, you NEED the surgery, and they are experts at fixing you up so you can live your life

Dominick Amatulli  These decisions are very difficult.  It looks like you are working with a great hospital system.    Can you sit down with anyone there who can walk you through your risks? I find the more questions I ask, the more comfortable I get and the closer I get to clarity.  Wish you the best.

Cathleen Weed  "Dr. Google" will scare anyone. Let the experts do what they do best...what they've dedicated their entire lives to doing. These cardiac surgeons know more than all of us put together. In turn, you do your part and calm your mind, eat well, hydrate, and show gratitude to your heart and body. You will be pleasantly surprised when it's all said and done. Right now your body is going through a lot of physiological changes as your valves/heart struggle to keep up. That can trigger anxiety. Once you are through this and healed, that will subside. Do your best to ignore it and stay off the online research train. I've had multiple open heart surgeries and I've never had any issues with post-op delirium. I'm a nurse and I've never seen a patient with it. Mostly you'll be tired and want to sleep. Start walking in the hospital halls as soon as they tell you to get up and move, usually a day or two after surgery. It will keep you from having post-op complications, will calm your mind, and give you a sense of control over your recovery. The biggest thing is for you to go in strong and come out strong. You can be stronger than ever. It's amazing how movement and exercise can heal the body AND mind. Give yourself small goals and go from there. Sign up for a local cardiac rehab program for after your surgery. It's like a private little gym for heart patients with nurses and PT's. It's a super great way to crush goals and feel safe doing it. Cleveland Clinic can give you a referral. Have courage. You've got this. And remember...YOU are always the most important medicine.

Kevin Stevenson  All I can share with you is that I had my mitral valve repaired at Cleveland clinic with the mini-thoracotomy procedure.  I tell everyone I can, my experience was near painless.  My larger concern was waking up intubated.  I watched a great YouTube video on what to expect when you wake up intubated and practiced waking up in the morning and imagining I was intubated.  When the time came, it was easy.  As far as anesthesia goes, I woke right up and was perfectly oriented to my surroundings, just like waking up in the morning.   

good luck I in your journey. 

Richard Munson  I hope raymond feels a little better about the surgery. Everyones after affects differ. My minimally invasive was pretty good except for some chest tubes in hospital and some lingering sharp pains from the entrance ramps between my ribs. Those lasted off and on for a few months. Nerve damage they said. When you have severe fear going into any surgery , even after all the great experiences you read about there will be a certain amount of trepidation. Its not hangnail surgery . Hopefully its minimized in raymonds case and he can move on to a repaired valve. My wife told me to think about something else. I even tried christy  brinkley but the surgery was always the elephant in the room. Now i feel great and still think about christy. 

Delise Becker  Hello, Raymond. I think Cathleen Weed summed it up best. The cardiac surgeons and anesthesiologists are experts in their field and are trained to do this miraculous work. I had my mitral valve replaced and my tricuspid valve repaired via sternotomy two weeks ago. I was in the hospital a full week and suffered from A-fib and A-flutter, beginning about three days after my surgery. However, my heart finally got back into rhythm on its own. I still have some issues with that, but it's very common after surgery. I have every confidence that it will go away once my heart gets used to its new parts. As for any kind of post-operative delirium, I've had none. I didn't even have a sore throat or scratchy voice from being intubated. When I awoke, I knew where I was and why, what day it was, what procedure I had done, etc. I have been home one week now, and I am doing great! I'm walking every day and doing my breathing exercises, and I've even cooked a few simple meals. I'll start cardiac rehab in about a week or so. No one wants to have surgery, but the rewards/benefits of having a well-functioning heart, I believe are worth the risks. Everything we do involves risk. If you drive a vehicle, you risk getting in an accident; if you play a sport, you risk getting injured; and on and on. Talk to your surgeon and the anesthesiologist. Get your questions answered, and then make an informed decision. Best of luck to you!

Rose Madura  Raymond, you are in good hands and the odds are in your favor. It's very doable. The doctors know what to do. Everyone above had great suggestions. We are here for you and will be here for you. If you are a believer, ask God to help you. He will.

Sean Adkins  I completely understand your anxiety and apprehension. My heart cath is in 7 days and my surgery is in 9 days! But I also know just like you I’m going to Cleveland Clinic and being cared for by the best doctors and surgical teams in the world. We are both going to be ok!

Brady Busch  I've never heard of that term,so yes,looked it up.Here is  something,that came up first,from the National Institutes of Health:Post-operative delirium (POD) can occur from 10 minutes after anesthesia to up to 7 days in the hospital or until discharge.
It is commonly recognized in the post-anesthesia care unit (PACU) as
sudden, fluctuating, and usually reversible disturbance of mental status
with some degree of inattention.
To me,in that definition,it states,as most likely being temporary.
The doctors and nurses,know about this and how to help.Much of it looks like keeping busy and yes,that will happen.They care about people.
Thanks also,for bringing this subject up,Raymond.It's interesting learning.

Rich Butela   Raymond, don't keep second guessing your decision.  It's not a fun experience but it has been way easier than I  imagined.  I read all the scary stuff on the internet about depression and not feeling like the same person after surgery, but In my case that has not been an issue. Talking to my surgeon prior to my procedure really gave me a good vibe about the whole process. He was so matter of fact about what was going to happen before , during and after the surgery that it really put me at ease. The great thing was, he was spot on, with everything he said.  These guys know what they are doing, take comfort in that and in all the folks on this site who have gone before you.  I'll be praying for you, that you may have a peace about this and that everything will turn out great.

Heather Kelly  Try to reconsider with optimism. I am a AVR patient 2 years post op and I have not 1 regret having had it. I feel better and am no fearful of my future. The surgery and recover were really very mild ho early. The worst part was shortness of breath after hit had it all back with in 2 weeks. They do so many of these surgeries now I cannot imagine not having it. God bless your decisions. It will be ok. 

Susan Lynn  Raymond - Welcome!   You may find this helpful in answering your question about ejection fraction after surgery.  
https://www.heart-valve-surgery.com/videos/ejection-fraction-fall-gillinov

Robert Miller  I am not going to post my EFs on a public forum but at 45% before surgery you are doing pretty good. I assume the 5.8cm is for your left ventricle. That's increased but again not bad at all. Be lucky they caught you at this early stage and are fixing it. Good luck for your surgery!!

Susan Lynn  Raymond - It's true that some heart patients can experience these issues, but I would suggest that you speak to your doctor about your concerns, but don't borrow any additional worries. The highest priority is a successful procedure. If you have any post-op issues, address them if and when they arise. It's easy to get caught up in everything that might happen with surgery, but the probabilities are low that you will be affected. Try to focus on everything going as planned - it's good to be in a positive state of mind going into your procedure. Wishing you all the best!

Pamela Gregory  Susan's advice is perfect! Try to keep your focus on one thing at a time. They have people that will check on your mental status afterwards in case any issues arise. You will be in excellent hands

Raymond Michaels  Thank you both. I was wondering what meds they might have to counter act these effects that Ive listed. Any help or direction is appreciated. Im trying to stay off the internet now.

Kathy Ozio  I worried about that and the first few weeks were good. I thought I wasn't going to get it. Then the depression did set in,but being aware it could happen helped me know it was normal .  It did pass fairly quickly but as long as you are mindful of it and let your doctor know, you should be alright. 

Rose Madura  Maybe you should order and read Adam's book. The walks through the entire process.  And stay positive. Most of the things we worry about never come to pass.  Worry is the opposite of faith.  Godspeed.

Klara Čičić  Raymond, girls said it all beautifully. You still have enough time to talk to your doctor, primary care or cardiologist about your concerns... even anestesiologist, he's the one who'll give you drugs during and after the procedure! Be honest about what is bothering you and you will get reasurance. The most important thing is successful surgery. You will get through this! You can do this. We are here for you. 

Rita Savelis  I'm sorry that you are going through this. It's hard. Please let doctors know about your fears. An anasthesiologist can answer your questions about post-surgery delirium. Depression  can happen to anyone - in the general population and in heart patients. Being aware that it can happen, like you are, is good because then you can recognise it and ask for help if you need it. Knowing that it is normal and that cardiollogists are aware it is helpful. Talking to a therapist about your fears before and after surgery can be very helpful. Heart surgery is a big deal and one has lots of emotions. Take care.

Grace Mason   I, too, had many fears about being on bypass and the affects after. I found that the things I was concerned about have not occurred to date. I talked with my doctor's and anesthesiologists before surgery about my concerns and that did help alleviate some of my concerns. I am still early days, but as Kathy said I think being aware of how you are feeling and knowing some depression might set in, and is normal, will help to manage it sooner than later.

Valerie Allen  Depression is an expression of your inner feelings. It is not unusual and if it does occur, they understand it’s roots and can provide good temporary medicine and/or suggest talking it out with a neutral person (therapist) or a known person who is suitable.

Rita Savelis  I became depressed about 5 months after successful double valve replacement. It came on suddenly and lasted 7 months.  7 months during which I was functioning and going to work and doing what I had to do without motivation, without pleasure. After making it through a difficult physical recovery I had emotional repercussions.  I wrote a post about it in my journal on this site which you can read. It was hard and it was normal. Depression still carries a lot of stigma so it can be hard to talk about. But please do talk to your cardiologist about your fears pre and post surgery.  

Delirium can happen post-surgery in the first few days, brought on by age, the heart-lung machine and/or various drugs. It passes and you usually don't even realise that you are delirious. Hospital personnel are very used to it. It will not last. I took morphine in ICU not so much for pain but because of the great discomfort I was feeling and the emotional turmoil. I just wanted to be in a different place. Morphine can sometimes cause one to have vivid crazy dreams and a sort of delirium. I still wonder if some of my memories from ICU are real or if they were only happening in my mind. Anyway, Raymond, I wanted to be blunt and honest because this stuff happens and it is normal and it passes. Every patient has specific fears which may or may not happen. Often something you never thought of happens and what you were afraid of does not happen. Again, being vocal and honest is helpful. Hospital personnel are there to help. Your GP and your cardiologist have seen this before and will take care of you. Wishing you a peaceful post-surgery and recovery.

Robert Miller  As part of my release, both hospitals told me about services that are available to me after I get back home. Besides many other things, it did include services related to depression. When they assess you to be released, make sure you ask them about such services. Both times they told me about those services just like an hour before my release but you might want to inquire about it soon after they get the last pipes and wires out. That way you already have the information, can think about it and then ask further questions if you have any.

I know every person is different but for me the main issue was the physical part of recovery. In my opinion it is important that you properly prepare for that. Sleeping will be harder, your muscles probably will ache (stiffness from the way you sleep), you can't do a lot of things because you can only lift 5lb, etc. You can't avoid these things but with proper preparation you can make it easier, both on your body and consequently on your mind. 

And if you need help, go back to the services that the hospital offered. 

Susan Lynn  Raymond - I agree with Jill about the advances in medicine. I'm sorry to hear about the losses in your family, but every situation is different. Resist the temptation to compare your procedure to anyone else's. I think you're going to be the person to change your family's medical history for the better. Positive attitude!

Rose Madura  Raymond, one of the things I always suggest is not to compare yourself to others. Jill is correct, think of all the advances in the last 20 years. Plus, you've chosen the Cleveland Clinic, one of the best hospitals for heart surgery. It's emotional enough just going through OHS but try to focus on the positives.  If it makes you feel any better, I had my surgery on the same day that my Mom passed away 3 years earlier.  I'll admit, I had a few negative thoughts about it but refused to give into that kind of thinking.  You will soon be a heart warrior 🪖 who can then wish these advances were available many years ago.  Stay strong. God bless you. ❤️‍🩹

Grace Mason   Sending prayers for comfort and peace to you I heartily agree with everyone posting before me, so many advances have been made in the past 20 yrs and CC is a renowned Heart center for a reason. Your feelings are certainly valid. I think we all experience some fear during our heart journey, but this site can be amazingly comforting, knowing there are many of us who can understand your feelings. Love and prayers to you Raymond.❤️🙏

Klara Čičić  Dear Raymond, you are not your father and medicine has come so far! People with dilative cardiomyopathy live so much longer now thanks to great medications and procedures! We all know the fear you are feeling now and can relate to it. You are not alone. Here you will find support and information that will calm you down. You can do this! 

Marie Myers  Even though you have a frightening family history, everyone is different. Like others have said, don’t compare yourself or your journey to others, since every experience is different. 

Pamela Gregory  I can tell you that the Cleveland Clinic is known for getting people through complicated and difficult surgeries. I had my surgery there last year and want to let you know that they have the best survival rate in the world. As the others have said, they have come a long way. It is incredibly scary having this surgery and especially the timing for you with your father but, I hope you can find some peace of mind knowing you are in really great hands. I wish you peace in your mind

Rich Butela  Stay positive my friend, one day at a time and don’t dwell on the negatives.  The folks above have given some great advice. 20 years is a long time in medical advances.  I praying you will come through this with flying colors 

Robert Miller  I am sorry to hear about your 2 relatives including your father. I will send you a PM with some more info. But for the benefit of others, my brother in law is a surgeon and he says it's VERY unlikely someone dies in the OR. If it happens it's usually people that didn't have much time left and only could extend their life with surgery (with some risk).

Frankly, especially for my first surgery, I felt a lot safer in the hospital than being at home. When you go into surgery there are two surgeons that can react to anything unexpected. After surgery, they monitor your heart 24/7. If something goes wrong (most likely not) you have trained nurses and doctors right there that can take actions immediately. 

Edit: Tried to send you a PM but I can't still figure out how to do this on this website. Everything seems to go public.