Lisa's Posts

When it's comfortable, than you can sleep on your side. But it may not be comfortable for awhile. I learned how to comfortably sleep on my back from having OHS (even though it wasn't easy at the time) because I was forced to by the circumstances. Now, two years later, I sleep easily on my back. But it took 6 weeks of it!

Obviously I don't know your mom but try to get her to see that she is already over the really hard part, and NO ONE believes it is NOT a "big surgery", but she is through it. Healing takes time, but it will go faster than she thinks. You might check with the doctor or hospital and see if there is a support group where she can talk to others that have been through this. Sometimes I think patients can believe that no one understands ( especially for some reason those closest to us), but talking to people who have "been there" may make a difference. I wish her and you well.

Lisa, my mom is like your mom. They always think about other people though they are the ones who need the most care now. My mom worries that she is adding lots of burden on me. Tell your mom not to worry about other people. She should focus on herself ! Her speedy recovery will be the best gift for you and your family. My mom is waiting for Cathe procedure now. Surgery 7 am tomorrow.

Wen li I was you one week ago. I can relate to what you are going through as a daughter. My mom feels the same as yours about being a burden. I told her she not at all! I think the days and nights before the surgery were hardest for me. Now trying to keep her positive and moving forward. It's a lot for us mentally as well. I love her and am so proud of her! As u will be too. Such strength it takes for them to face this! Well wishes for your mom tomorrow. U will get through it together!

I know I need a support group & found a meeting for next week even though I haven't had surgery yet. I also went to a counselor 2 weeks ago but was disappointed that she didn't understand cardiac depression. Adam Pick's book has a very good section on it. I want to send positive thoughts to you and your family about what you are facing.

I hope she can start to understand that the sternal precautions are non-negotiable, that she just cannot go do everything for your dad after rehab. I'm sorry she's having such a hard time letting this be *her* time and letting herself be taken care of for awhile. It won't be forever, but most surgeons want eight weeks of no driving, or lifting/pulling anything of substance. Maybe encourage her that rehab, rest and later cardiac rehab will help keep her safe and help her get stronger and more self-sufficient so she can return to the lifestyle she loves. Has she said what aspect is bothering her most, or is it the whole situation? I found the confinement aspect really hard.

It is a big surgery, and your mother has lost her ability to do what she does normally. That is traumatic and produces much guilt. It can take months/years to physically and emotionally get over the trauma of OHS, as well as the feeling of having let family down when one doesn't recover in the way/timeframe that they would have liked. I wish it were easier and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your mother may need to "dwell" on her surgery for a long time and find a space where there are no family or friends but rather others (counselors, listeners) who can validate what she is feeling in a different non-judgemental way. She may also have to do some things the medical profession doesn't recommend and find out for herself what she is capable of and not capable of. Take care.