Ruth's Guestbook

Tia Phillips  Ruth, I am sorry it took me so long to see your posts. I have not been here on the Heart Valve Journal for several years. I am so glad I decided to look for you again.

Ruth Howell  Thank you, Bonnie. I am doing so much better, but the emotional trauma still lurks. Thank you for your thoughts and good wishes.

Ruth Howell  Thanks, Adam. Your site was very, very helpful to me during my recovery. And as you know, it was a long one. At some point I just didn't want to talk or hear about it anymore and was suffering from depression, which is I why I signed off. But now I realize that perhaps I can be of some support to others - as so many others here were for me... although I am reluctant to go into details because my situation was so uncommon. What do you think?

Adam Pick  Ruth, You raise a great question... Personally, I have found there is great healing in sharing my story with others. To some extent, that is how this whole website came about. I started talking about the opportunities and challenges associated with valvular disease. The next thing I knew... I was talking to others who were experiencing and feeling related emotions. That said, I would encourage you to do what you are comfortable with. As you can see, this community is a true gift for those searching for education and empowerment during a very difficult time in their lives. That said, it is a gift to have you as part of this community.

Ruth Howell  My question is, don't you think my story would cause people to worry unnecessarily? I know the kind of worry and fear people are facing prior to surgery, and I wouldn't want to add to it.

Phyllis Petersen  Hi Ruth. I don't know your story, but do know that there have been many people who have had a great deal of difficulty after their surgeries. Although I've had a relatively smooth ride, I was glad that I knew some of the things I could face and so be prepared. I definitely would have panicked if someone hadn't mentioned the "finger under the skin" left behind from the heart-lung machine going through the groin. Sometimes the problems people face can be every bit as helpful to others as the easy recovery stories. Of course, this is your call. I hope everything is going smoothly for you now. Phyllis

Barbara Wood  I agree- I appreciated the scary stories along with the rosy ones, they all helped me prepare for surgery...knowledge is power!

Rose Madura  Hi Ruth, I had a very scary ride but finally am well. And I don't hesitate to comment on this site. Some people want to know everything, others do not. But it is a personal choice. The information others posted was very beneficial to both my husband and myself.

Rita Savelis  So glad to read your post, Ruth. My heart goes out to you.. Please tell your story. Your story is important to me. All of it. I think one of the negative points of this site is that people gloss over the hard parts all the time. Perhaps that is their survival mechanism, but it's not mine. It is easy to feel like an alien here. On this site, you might easily get the impression that after initial pre-surgery anxieties, one wakes up in ICU, takes a selfie and then goes home with a heart pillow trophy and runs a marathon.
This is SO not true for most patients, but they buck up and write that life is 100% fine, in order to stay in the norm of what one is supposed to do.
But the few times I see someone take the time to tell the whole, difficult truth, I am so inspired. It's only those stories that helped me and help me.
When I write about how hard and long recovery was, about unexpected side effects and how hard depression was I do it ONLY so that if there is at least one person out there who needs to hear that, and to know that they are normal and what they are experiencing is valid, they will perhaps be glad to read that they are not the only one.
Life is so much more complex than 2 or 3 sentences saying how easy it all was.
I'm not ashamed to say it was all very hard. Complications happen. Side effects that are barely mentioned before OHS occur. Surgeons consider their work a success, your heart is repaired, and and you are left to deal with the aftereffects on your own.
Of course one survives and one goes on, and life is beautiful afterwards, but it was still hard. That is valid. Everyone's true story is valid. It all happened. You own your own story and you can put it out there. Those who don't need to read it, won't. Those who do will cherish you.
Take care Ruth.

Craig Wise  Rita, so very well said. So important. My sentiments (and experience) exactly. My year in this journey has been exceedingly painful: physically and emotionally. And it continues. But, I gradually improve. I love my family and friends, and feel connected to everyone on this site. Ruth, if you believe your story might help any of us, then please share. If you feel more private, that’s perfectly ok also. God Bless

Rita Savelis  I think there can actually be as much "worry" after OHS as before, so it's helpful when someone shares their honest story. If you are experiencing the same thing, you will feel less alone. If you are not experiencing it, you can at least widen your knowledge of the various realities linked with this experience.
Many people come on this site AFTER surgery with questions and to find other people who have had the same (sometimes difficult) experiences they had.

(Hello to Craig Wise. I feel like we are kindred spirits.... I think of you... and hope you are doing well. You got so much more than you bargained for. Take care.)

Ruth Howell  Thank you all for your feedback on this subject. I feel as all of you do. I would rather know everything ahead of time, rather than just assuming heart surgery is a breeze. At your suggestion, I will post my experience sometime today - so you can look for it if you like. Again, many thanks. I don't wish difficulties on anyone, but it is good to know that there others out there who have also had a difficult time. Reading many of the posts, one would think heart surgery is a bed of roses. Very few talk about the complications, including the terrible depression that can sometimes follow. Thanks again.

Phyllis Petersen  Back in an earlier iteration of Adam's community, there was a lot of discussion of depression. The material from the hospital talked about it too. But, you're right, that many people don't want to talk about it. The first surgery I had as an adult was minor: removing a bone spur from my pinkie toe and straightening it a bit. A few days after surgery, depression came down like a ton of bricks. After a little research, I found that it is not unusual to have depression after any surgery, but it does seem to be even more prevalent with heart surgery. Knowing that can help a lot if it does happen.

Ruth Howell  Yes, I researched all the hospitals everywhere. I would NEVER have chosen to have heart surgery in Maine. None of the hospitals here are highly rated heart hospitals. I cannot tell you how important the right hospital and doctor are. Believe me, I had serious issues during and after surgery, and if I were not at the Cleveland Clinic, I surely would not be here writing this. CCF is the #1 heart hospital in the country and has been for more than 20 years.

Barbara Wood  I had my mitral valve repair done by Dr Reid Quinn at Maine Medical. I had a potentiality complicated surgery due to previous heart radiation. Cleveland Clinic was not in my network, Maine Med was. I was absolutely satisfied with my experience- surgeon & entire staff at Maine Med rock in my book!

Marie Myers  There are EXCELLENT surgeons and nurses at many hospitals throughout the country. I had my very sucessful surgery at a not famous name hospital by a wonderful but not famous surgeon . (He did a fellowship at CC, though) Track record, training and experience are a must...

Clayton Mcarthur  Everyone has there own opinion and freedom of choice ,I personally believe that Maine has many excellent cardio thoracic surgeon s,they sure did a good job on me LOL. Reed Quinn, Paul Weldner,and several others are nationally recognized in their field.

Ruth Howell  You are correct. It's a personal choice. But it is worth understanding that heart surgery is anything but routine, and things can and do go wrong sometimes. I just don't understand why someone would not choose to go to a highly rated "heart hospital." This becomes extremely important if things don't go well - as with me. I was in a coma for 10 days, had a heart attack and stroke and required 17 transfusions and another emergency heart surgery the day after the first one. I was not expected to pull through. But thanks to incredible amount of cutting edge equipment and care in their CICU, my life was saved. I doubt if this would have been the case had I not been at such an excellent heart hospital. Most hospitals are probably fine as long as you don't experience serious problems.