Leesa's Posts

Hi everyone, I am only a week and a half away from my first OHS. I will be having my aortic root replaced. Luckily, my aortic valve is healthy enough to keep, so I will be having the valve-sparing procedure performed. I found out that I would need surgery back in March. My surgeon originally wanted to operate in June, but I was in my senior year at college so I wanted to graduate first. Well, I graduated two weeks ago, so now it is time for surgery! Since being told I needed surgery in March, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Some days I am petrified about surgery, other days I am quite calm about it. I have poured hours into researching my operation as well as what to expect after surgery. One thing I have found especially helpful is watching videos of the surgery being performed. It's nice to know what will be happening to my body while I am asleep. Still, I am quite nervous. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks as it is; so bad, in fact, that I am agoraphobic (i rarely leave the house). So in some ways, I am actually more nervous about my general anxiety than the surgery itself, if that makes sense. In addition to my aortic aneurysm, I am riddled with medical problems. I have Marfan Syndrome, neurocardiogenic syncope (I can't stand very long without passing out), near constant vertigo, hypothyroidism, back pain from herniated discs, etc. My health is so poor that I am in bed roughly 22 hours a day, every day. Friends and family constantly tell me that after surgery I will feel so much better and will finally be able to live a "normal" life. This is soo frustrating to me because it is not true. The physical problems I face every day have nothing to do with my heart; indeed, aortic aneurysms rarely cause any symptoms. So, the surgery will not make me feel better. It will not be a cure all. I WISH my ohs would fix my other problems, but it won't. So it is so frustrating when people think that after my surgery I will be better, and it puts a lot of pressure on me to somehow change my life after the surgery in ways that may not be possible. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. I just cannot wait to get this surgery behind me. It's been on my mind for so long. A lot of people who have had OHS have told me that the wait is worse than the surgery itself. I hope this is true!