Vivian's Photos

Vivian, you're gorgeous! It's 1AM and I'll be getting up at 6:30 to go to Cardiac Rehab. I hadn't checked HVS in a few weeks and utterly missed your comment on my last journal post. Vivian, I didn't have a trach, but otherwise I understand so much of the struggles you have. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks, then to long term care for 5 weeks, then in and out of rehab for a year. I now go to Cardiac Rehab. Hon, I hope you keep typing your journey here, there are people who just want to encourage you, I know. I'm typing with my somewhat amputated fingers, my feet feel like blocks of ice with shards of glass all lit on 🔥 fire! My first shower at home I literally screamed and cried the pain was horrible. I get not being able to form totally coherent thoughts🤔 I was so drugged, like you God kept me through it all, and still is doing it all! There was a time when I just said,"NO!" But God reminded me he resists the proud, but exalts the humble in due time. One day, after many months, I literally Picked up my shower bench and threw it out my front door! I asked Dave for shower bars, and I took super fast showers. I still do, since they are not comfortable 😐. I hope you'll be able to find some sort of rhythm you can live with for your life. I am very limited because I need oxygen 24/7. (Another result of my surgery experience) Even so, I try to keep my trust in Jesus and ask for grace to trust more often💕 I am on quite a bit of pain killers, but that just deadens the pain to a roar; I seem to be able to persevere through. Let me know if you have any questions. I used to only be on a cane or roller walker, but after months of intense Physical Therapy I've gutted it out, and now I just walk. My feet are swollen, but that just meant bigger shoes 👞, and yet, the swelling did go down by half. I am at about 20 months out from two open heart surgeries, your experience sounds very intense, and I pray you will allow yourself some grace. I am setting a goal of three years post op for recovery, we heard this would be correct. So, I am still hopeful I can at least feel a bit better even than I do now. Praying 2018 will be a year of improvement for you, it's tough when people assume you should be fine. Nerve pain, neuropathy, is a hidden agony that only you will really understand, most people think it should go away, they just don't get it, but I do. I hear you, so sorry I only saw your post tonight, and not earlier! God Bless💕♥️💕

Hello, I'm back I just want to that I so sick of pain everyday every minute of the day, from aortic aneurysm, something went wrong,, I have neuropathy, my right toes, my knee it feels like pins sticking me , water hurts to showers I have to brace myself, neuropathy starts from My cord down can't stand to be touched on my back. All of this has told me anything to comfort me in WHY what happened, even my PCP told me I will never be pain free. One Dr. told I will get with you that's been a year ago. I'm sick of pain I bad spasms in my arms and fringers, that's just some of it. I guess I should be over it right because it's been 1/2years But the pain won't let me.