Susan's Guestbook

Hi Susan, I'm a native New Yorker myself (Manhattan even!) but I live in Washington State now, so I'm afraid I can't take part in an in-person support group there, much as I'd love too. But I did want to respond to your "four months out" mention of current depression and anxiety. I had my mitral valve repaired and my aortic valve replaced in one, full-incision, surgery in August 2015. One of my biggest anxieties pre-op was that I'd fall into a depression during my recovery, because I'd had bouts of depression as I was growing up and they were--as I'm sure you know--horrible. But it never happened post-op! I bounced back. I found myself singing out loud (though where no one could hear me, lol) day after day. I do remember reading that people can get depressed afterward and that it might be because the surgery reminded people of their own mortality, and even that they felt they were "falling apart." I felt just the opposite. I thought isn't life wonderful, for as long as we're here! Isn't my heart wonderful for letting itself be worked over on my behalf? Aren't the people who can do these surgeries wonderful? Aren't the people who first figured out how to do these things--and created the incredible machines to help (thank you, heart and lung machine!)--wonderful? As I said in another posting, my surgery reconnected me to life, and not just on a physical level. It was truly a spiritual journey for me. For example, I used to be angry at some of the things going on in my life and in the world, but post-op my anger vanished completely. I can still feel sad at things in this world, but I completely lost my "ability" to be angry anymore. I just can't do it now. Go figure! We're all different, Susan, in how we recover, how we feel about things, etc. And I'm absolutely not trying to talk you out of your genuine experiences and into my own. But I did want to just give you another perspective in case it might offer some help to you. And finally, I'd like to remind you that you're living in one of the most anxious areas in America--New York City (or nearby). I know, I grew up there. Everything was "be careful!" Everyone I knew--very much including my own family--always expected the worst to happen, "if not today, then tomorrow--so watch out!" Could you possibly be soaking up some of that general energy as you're going through your recovery? Sorry to have made this so long, but you provoked my thinking about it all, so it's your own fault ha ha ha. Anyway, here's wishing you the very best today and all the subsequent days of your recovery. Artie (BTW I'm 70 years old.)