Pamela's Guestbook

Hi Pam, I haven't had any surgery yet, but I sure do know about that life being on hold thing. I just read your comment to my post about the blessing of having Aortic Stenosis but decided to write you here to say that I understand your frustration. I feel like I'm just creeping along but it is really hard to move on in life in any major way because I feel like this approaching surgery is following me around like a shadow. Whenever I make a decision, I say, "should I do this? What about when I have surgery?" I was out of work for a year and just recently took a part time job. I really need a full time job but I'm looking for two part time jobs instead. My thinking? When I have to have surgery, it's easier for an employer to accept that their "part time" help will be out for a while rather than a full time employee. So if I get two part time jobs and they each feel that way then it feels less stressful. Problem is, that leaves me paying for my own health insurance. But as I said, all decisions are made while saying, "what about when I have surgery?" Where I work, where I live, what I eat, who will be able to help, everything comes back to, "what about when I have surgery?" Or every symptom I feel, "Is it my valve causing this? If I move, I'll have to find new doctors. If someone treats me poorly, I have to keep quiet because, yup, you guessed it, "what about when I have surgery?" It would be nice to stop saying that. BUT, as I said in my post, this old valve has brought some blessings my way too. So it's hard to be too annoyed with it. :) Thanks for your message. It's nice to meet you.