Ellen's Posts

Good afternoon friends. I am on the recovery road, hopefully with appropriate grace, humility and gratitude. I had surgery to replace my aortic valve, and perform a MAZE ablation, at a local cardiovascular surgery center, Ascension St Vincents Riverside, in Jacksonville FL. My surgeon is Chadwick Stouffer. The morning of the surgery was a test in self-soothing and letting others care for me, which I have not been good at in my life. I let people in just so far, and then I close the door. This process is an exercise in humility, rational thinking, and allowing myself to acknowledge my emotions in varying combinations. My partner Jason and my dear friend Joanne were with me, and I imagine that first day was harder for them than for me. I have very little recollection of waking up in ICU, or of the next several hours. I was moved to a step-down floor the next evening. Then began a 36-hour process of depression, feeling very uncomfortable physically (very hot and sweaty); loss of hope and regret. I know that this is a period that many patients go through, and I know that lack of good sleep, pain and lack of control over the environment all play a role. All of those being said, it still was very hard. I felt very alone, even though, rationally, I knew that I was not. I'm sharing this because I want others to know that this is also part of the process, and it is OK to share if this is happening to you. Mental health is health, and we need it in order for our bodies and minds to work together to help us heal. I think it is as important to voice and validate our emotional and mental challenges during this time as it is our physical ones. Thurs afternoon I had two visits from friends Patrice and Cathie. They were short visits, as I was VERY tired, and I think they knew I was struggling, but their presence started a spark of light inside of me. I also had had the catheter and drain tubes removed. My first couple of attempts to get up and "go" were very awkward and difficult. It's hard to hug your pillow and do those maneuvers. (Surprisingly, I will say that the toilet became the best place for me to practice getting up and sitting down. Because of the curve in the front, you can get your feet out to the sides and have a little better center.) I was released to home on Saturday, which felt wonderful. Since then, I've had my first shower (best thing ever!); my first sneeze, first of a few visits with nurse and P/T at home; first walk and literal breath of fresh air (outside!). First post on HVS.com! Thank you all so much for being part of this process with me.

Hello! I am preparing for a meeting with my surgeon to schedule a SAVR with MAZE ablation. (I have a bicuspid aortic valve and AFib) I'm sure these questions come up frequently in this community, but I am interested in 1) if you were a candidate for either an artificial valve or a bioprosthetic, how did you decide? and 2) when the day of surgery approaches, how do you cope with your fear? Your experiences are really priceless. Thank you!