Catie's Journal

Rita Savelis  Hello, Catie, I hear you - it's not easy being a caretaker/partner of someone who's been through an ordeal. Maybe harder than going through that ordeal
I also had cancer years ago (at age 15) and the radiation therapy to "save" me then, caused my heart problems at age 54 (two valves replaced, one repaired, an unexpected pacemaker).
Your husband also had a triple bypass. He really had too much trauma. He needs a lot of time to get over what he's been through, physically and emotionally and also the anger about the cancer treatment and anger at his body letting him down again. It's a lot to digest.
He'll need space for awhile. He'll need you to let him be and express what he needs to express. It will be hard for you, as it is for him.
After the months of getting over surgery, I went into a depression that lasted 7 months. I got through it by being vocal and honest and seeing a therapist who validated what I was feeling, by stopping betablockers... and with the help of time.
I know it was hard for my husband, but he was there and he didn't force me to be anyway that I wasn't . He suggested things but was okay when I needed a lot of time by myself.
It was hard, but time heals.
Take care.

Darlene Smith  I had some sadness about one month out and my husband gave me space. If I needed him, he was there.

  Hi Catie ...
There's a book (quite a few years old now but perhaps still relevant) called 'Coping with Heart Surgery and Bypassing Depression: A Family's Guide to the Medical, Emotional and Practical Issues' that maybe of help.
https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Heart-Surgery-Bypassing-Depression/dp/1887841075
I wish your husband a speedy recovery and the best to yourself, too.