Tara's Journal

I had my echocardiogram done and they called me with the results today. My mitral valve which I had repaired 6 months ago is working just fine. but now my tricuspid valve is leaking severely. I am hoping and praying that this does not mean another surgery. MY husband is freaking out because We cannot afford for me to be off of work again and my mom is a basket case. I will find out more when I go back to the doc on the 24th of this month.

Well I called my Doc and he wants me to have an echocardiogram, and blood work. Along with that he is putting me back on Lasix. Not looking forward to the side effects from that but oh well, nothing I can do about it.

Well, It has been a while since I posted. I am 4 1/2 months post OHS and I am feeling pretty good. But the last two weeks I have been swelling again and have been very SOB. I am scared because these were my symptoms before my surgery. I am planning on calling the cardiologist tomorrow but Work is really giving me a hard time about taking any more time off and they only do appointments in the mornings when It is almost impossible for me to leave the office. I am hoping he will just give me some Lasix and let me keep my June appt. I also worked out yesterday for the first time since my surgery. (mostly I have just been lazy..lol) I was only able to walk half a mile before getting dizzy but I felt like I made an accomplishment.

I just found out that since the meds for my sinus tachycardia have not worked I have to have a cardioversion done. Has anyone else had this? I am a nervous wreck over it.

Well, It has been quite a while since I have posted. but I am at 8 weeks post op and feeling great! I was just told by the surgeon that I no longer have to come back. (I had a wound in my groin from the bypass machine that needed to heal). Life is great and getting beck to normal for me. I started back to work last week and that is exhausting but going really well also.

So I have not posted in about a week. I have been having a really rough time of it. I have home health nurses out twice a day to change dressings on two wounds that won't heal. They just constantly leak clear fluid, so I am changing clothes 5-6 times a day. Also yestarday was my first blood draw since coming home and my PT/INR was 9.3 so the cardiologist called me to go to the ER, My potassium lelvels were also high as well as my kidney function levels. I was a sick mess yesterday because to top it ff I am also Anemic and extremely short of breath. I can not walk more than 2 houses down before becoming so short of breath that I am ready to black out. That is is why I have not written for a while. While I am glad that everyone on here is doing so well, I hate that I am not progressing. I know I have to go at my own pace also, but I am also 35 years old and my pace should be a little speedier. Thanks for reading my vent, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Well steady as she goes, ended up back in he hospital last night almoat got admitted. I have an infection in my groin where the bypass machine was hooked up. funny part is that I did not even know there was an incision there until the numbmness set in. They gave me an abx and sent me home. I will type more when I can, still having trouble posting being on the pain meds.

OK this is the first time i have sat at the computer since I have been home. It is so painful. My meds don't seem to be touching the pain at all. I thought I was feeling stronger until yesterday when I overdid it. But I just don't know what to do about the meds mu incicsion stings and there is pressure pain.

This is Tara's mom again reporting in for her, this is day 3 after surgery she is doing better very slowly, she has many holes and incisions she has holes where chest tubes were and she has an incision where the Dr. tried to do the surgery minimally invasive, but that was not successful and of course she was open from her neck to about her belly button. She will be on here to update you as soon as she has the strength to do so. I apologize that I haven't updated for a couple of days I have been with Tara from morning until night and I am soooo tired, not complaining just letting you all know why I have been neglectful of my duty of reporting. Tara is thinking of you all but because of the pain meds she cannot concentrate enough to be on the computer. She made me promise to update you tonight.. Happy and healthy hearts to you all and thank you all for your prayers..

Tara had her open heart heart surgery today, the doctor tried to do it minimally invasive, however, that would not work so he did have to crack her sternum and go in that way. The Dr. Fixed her own heart valve instead of replacing it, that is a good thing because he said she could have her own heart valve for the rest of her life, providing she does as she is told. I did see her after her surgery she is on a ventilator and a lot of tubes but the nurses assure me she is doing well. By the way this her mother Denise and she gave me strict instructions to keep her journal updated until she is well enough to do it herself.. I will see her tonight at 8 pm visiting hours are very limited.

As I sit here waiting to be picked up to be taken to the hospital there are a few things running through my head. First is Oh My Gosh I am actually having Heart Surgery!!!!! I can not believe that I am going to have heart surgery. Second is that I hope nothing happens to me. That is really the first time this thought has entered my mind, but it is a real possibility that SOMETHING could go wrong. (By the way, still praying for Rachel out there). This site and Adam's book and my faith have really helped me with this whole process, but no one can go through the experience for me. Thank you all for the words of wisdom and well wishes, it is appreciated. and I guess all that is left to say is See ya on the flip side of heart surgery!

Two more days until surgery, I can not believe how fast the time has flown since scheduling this date. I took tomorrow off of work to make sure that I have everything ready for me to be gone from the house for a few days. One of our neighbors is going to cook a meal for the family, and my husband is a good cook so I don't have to worry about preparing meals. I am really calm about this whole surgery thing, surprisingly. I was feeling scared a few days ago but after I Went to church I was back in a calm state. Thank you all for your prayers and well wished and my mom is supposed to update for me after my surgery and I will be back in a few days with my brand new heart valve!

So something, or rather someone prompted me to go to church yesterday. The songs that were chosen for yesterdays service seemed like they were picked just for me, as a matter of fact I felt the holy spirit so strongly that I began to cry at a couple of those songs. I got prayed over, and that made me feel good about my surgery which is now only three days away. I am feeling a little scared, but I have complete faith in my surgeon (who I have heard is great), and everyone else on my medical team. And I have faith in my God that he wants me to be better for my family.

as I have only 4 days until surgery, I want to say thank you to all of you for the wonderful support and prayers that I have received because of this site. It means a lot to me. I also have a great support team outside of this site and I thank them too. Well I am sure there will be at least one more post before surgery but I am off to church!

Had my Pre Op Testing done yesterday. It went very well, as I knew it would. 6 days and counting until my surgery now. I am getting a head cold, which I am trying to stave off with extra vitamin D, C and Zinc. Do not want to be sick on the day of surgery and have to reschedule. I am not at all nervous yet about the surgery which is strange to me, I should be all kinds of nervous. But I am going with the flow. I am nervous however about waking up after surgery and having the breathing tube still in. I am afraid that I will panic. But I guess we just have to wait and see how that goes. I am sure I will get more nervous as the days go by, but for now, I will take not having the anxiety.

Two days until I go in for the pre op testing. Then one more week until Surgery day. Feeling a little more nervous as time wears on. Mostly I am scared about after the surgery. How much pain will I feel, how long will I be on a ventilator, Will I even make it through surgery. I have a great support system, I even have an aunt that has gone through the same thing and has a mechanical valve, although I have opted for a tissue valve myself. I guess that I just keep praying and having faith in God and my doctors that everything will go smoothly and I will be able to go back to living a normal life without being too tired to do everything like I am now. Thanks for listening to me rant yet again about my fears. This site has been a great help to me.

Well, the time is getting closer with each passing day. I am really at a calm right now. I have pre op testing next week, and then time to get ready for the hospital. The only thing I am not looking forward to is getting up at 3:30 am to get ready...lol. I really can not believe how calm I am about it, but I have been praying and have faith in my God and my surgeon that everything will be ok, and that I will be around for my kids for a long long time to come.

Happy Halloween!! So I know that my surgery is 3 weeks away but it is the only thing that I can think about. I am remembering all of the things that I have to reschedule. I feel terrible since I have realized that I bought my son Tickets to a hockey game for his birthday and it is scheduled for 2 days after my surgery. I know obviously that I will not be able to take him, so I am scrounging to find someone, IT makes me feel just awful. I am feeling guilty that I al going to be leaving my children alone for the time that I am in the hospital. I know my husband is there for them, but I want to be there. I guess I just have to have faith that it will all work out and be ok, that my kids will be fine and that my husband will be able to handle it all. I am just feeling so overwhelmed. Hopefully I can calm myself down some over the next 3 weeks. This journal is really a great place to get everythinh off of my chest and just vent.

Well I met with my surgeon yesterday, and I really liked him. I am having surgery on Nov 21. I am excited and nervous. Dr. Moront says he is almost positive he can do the minimally invasive procedure instead of opening my whole chest. Also he is going to try to repair my valve as opposed to replacing it. Now I am filling out all of the paperwork for my Leave of Absence from work. At least my employer will hold my job for me. I am hoping to only be off about 4 weeks but I know that this is entirely up to the Docs. My Cardiologist wanted my to wait longer before surgery but the surgeon wanted to do it sooner. I keep referring back to Adam Picks book, it has answered so many of my questions and I felt like I went into the surgeons office already informed.

Well, the results are in and the Cardiologist could not find any blockages in my arteries. Also he said I my Mitral valve is just very leaky. I go tomorrow to see the surgeon that he recommended. I looked him up online and the few reviews that I could find on him are good. I have a lot of questions. and I am just wondering now when. How long will he put it off for. I am not looking forward to surgery, hell I was nervous enough about just the heart cath. lol. I want to put it off forever, but on the other had I want to have it done so that I can start feeling better and doing more with my kids. My son gets so embarassed when I take them to the zoo and have to get a motorized cart. I hate that he feels like that, I just want to be able to walk again without getting out of breath so easily. I will post again when I know more, after talking to the surgeon tomorrow.

Saw my Cardiologist today, he is now doing a Heart Cath and another TEE to see if there are any blockages elsewhere. He does not want me to have surgery. If he says that it is finally time for surgery, I want to wait until after the holidays. I know that I probably should not wait any longer than I already have but I have three kids that all believe in Santa and that requires a lot of work on my part. I am also in the process of getting a second job to pay for Christmas presents. But if the Doc says that it cannot wait then I will do what I have to do. I am nervous about the Heart Cath, I have never had one.

Well the time for surgery is getting closer. My Cardiologist made me go through a sleep study to rule out sleep apnea, which I do not have. This Cardiologist is doing everything he can to not have to do surgery right away, and wants to keep putting it off saying I am too young. I just want to be fixed, you know what I mean. I don\'t have the option with my insurance to go elsewhere and I can not afford to pay out of pocket for this, so I am following my only options.

Well, I went back to the cardiologist today and he tells me that we have pretty much exhausted all of our options with the meds to control my mitral regurgitation. He ordered a sleep study to rule out sleep apnea then I am to have surgery. I was nervous before about surgery now I am just scared. It is getting so close. I know that I will have to see a surgeon first and it will still be a while, but I am still scared.

Well I go back to the cardiologist today to find out if he wants me to have surgery or to wait a little longer. He has me on Losartin and Lasix, but they do not seem to be working. I am still swelling like crazy and even taking a shower has me out of breathe. I am nervous about this appointment but also know that I probably need the surgery sooner rather than later. I know that I will feel better but I just don\'t want to undergo major surgery. The only time I have ever been in the hospital was when I had a c section delivering my son. I will journal again after my appointment.

Well, I called my Cardiologist because my shortness of breath is getting worse and I am still swelling even with the Lasix on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. In the mean time my cardiologist has increased my lasix to every day. The swelling has gone down but the shortness of breath is still there. I go back to him on June 26. I am just going to tell him that I have been researching my condition and I think that I need to have the surgery. That brings me to my fear of the surgery. But I guess that is a journal entry for another time.

I am anxiously and very impatiently waiting to find out if my cardiologist will recommend surgery or not. The medication he has given me (Cozaar and Lasix) do not seem to be working as I am short of breath almost all of the time and I am still swelling along with being so tired most of the time that I do not even know how I function in every day life. My husband wonderful man that he is, just does not understand the tiredness. IT is a constant thing. I get up in the morning and take a shower and immediatley feel like I need a nap. My cardiologist does not want to do surgery, he says I am too young, but if my Regurgitation is so severe like he says, wouldn\'t I be better off having the surgery? I am not as forward as I should be about this and just say ok whatever you think doctor. I wish that I was able to call there and say I think that I need to be seen sooner and I think that I need to have this surgery. I do not want surgery but I want to be able to breathe again. And I want to be able to enjoy doing things with my kids. I have 3 kids and a husband that need me to be around for them. I am worried that if I have surgery my husband will be so overwhelmed by taking care of me and the kids. I am also worried that he will not understand that I need time to recover and he will push me to recover faster. I Also fear the surgery itself. I have only ever been in the hospital once and that is when I had my now 6 1/2 year old Benji. I had a c section and feel like I did not tolerate surgery well. What if I am not completely out and they start the surgery anyways. I am filled with all of this fear because I know that eventually I will have to have surgery and I just don\'t want to. Can\'t this problem fix itself? Can\'t there be a miracle happen to me so that I don\'t have to go through this but I will feel better? I will just keep praying and know that God is there for me no matter what happens.