Natalie's Posts

It's hard to believe 6 weeks have already passed since June 27th. Some days it seems like yesterday and others like forever ago. This past week has been a taste of what my immediate future will be like. My Mom has gone, sports have begun and "school stuff" is in full swing. Tomorrow is the children's 1st day. Cate will be in 5th Grade, Ella in 4th and Griffen in 1st. Juggling was once an act I could list on a resume, but lately my body continues to remind me of the magnitude of recovery required from open heart surgery. There are times when I feel really good and full of energy and others when I get very tired and my chest feels heavy. Finding a balance between the 2 is my goal for this coming week. I tend to push myself to do "one more thing" until I really begin to feel the hurt before resting and that's definitely not the right course. I think it's hard to compare my progress during weeks 2-4 to now. During those early weeks my primary goals were to rest, walk and do my resistance exercises and for the most part I felt really good. I've quickly realized driving here and there, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, doing laundry, caring for the children and family pet make for very full days. Things most of us active moms take for granted that we do day after day after day. I have always been one to never stop, it was rare for me to sit down during the day, I even eat standing up most of the time. Someone recently wrote that I'll look back on all of this one day and have a new appreciation for "normal". I can certainly see that as I sit and think about tomorrow. For those of you who know me well, I'm usually not at a loss for words. I love to talk to people about everything. I enjoy camaraderie very much and get excited about life in general. One thing I'm struggling with a bit now is that I grow very tired after extensive talking, and I am hoping this will go away as my overall stamina increases. My precious 4th Grade Girl Scouts are going to need a leader with energy not to mention my 3 sweet children. I'm going back to see Dr. Wolfe on Tuesday as my incision has decided not to absorb a couple of the stitches they put in. Apparently this is fairly common and is known as "spitting a stitch". Who would of ever thought there is such a thing?? They will remove the stitches and all should be well after that. It's the crazy little day by day, week by week things that keep this interesting for sure. No matter what the circumstances, I still give thanks and praise for all of the wonderful things that have come from this journey. I can't even begin to say "thank you" enough to all of the people who have prayed for me, called me, visited me, sent me cards, flowers, food and gifts. It's been amazing! Ironically, the medical books say it's not uncommon to feel depressed after this type of surgery, and although I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I have been crying easily lately. Some because I've felt overwhelmed at times, others when I see a friend's face and feel their love and compassion, or just when I realize this has been quite and ordeal. So I'll close by asking you to continue to pray for me to be strong and to heal according to God's will, to be humble and not afraid to ask for help, to admit to myself when I can't go on and need to rest, and to just be able to say "I can't right now" without regret. "The Lord searches all the earth for people who have given themselves completely to him, He wants to make them strong..." - 2 Chronicles 16:9

With just over 2 weeks before school starts back I'm feeling the need to spend as much quality time with my children as possible. Kids are amazing. They don't worry about the future, they rarely think about the past, and live life to the fullest in the present. We adults can learn a lot from them. As I sit at our office desk with a pile of "to-do" stuff, I can hear them in the den playing and laughing with their grandmother. I'm going to join them as soon as I'm done writing this. I don't want to wake up one day and wish that I had spent more time with our kids while they were young. So, if you are a parent like me, stop and take time to be with your children. They are only young once. I had 2 wonderful friends stop by today, one bringing flowers and the other the most awesome bag of goodies. Magazines, a great book called Love Does, a candle, Tic Tacs and gum, bath salts, the works! Wow, once again I am amazed at the generosity of the friends we know. My heart is full with gratitude. As crazy as it sounds this surgery has been a blessing to me. It has affirmed my trust in the Lord on so many levels and it has allowed me to experience true friendship and grace. I do have one question to other heart valve patients. How many of you have had clicking in your chest after surgery and how long does it last? I thought for sure I had popped my collar bone out of place the other night in the shower. I get these crazy bone shifts when I turn or reach for things. Needless to say it makes me very aware of the seriousness of my operation and the time still needed to mend. The Doctors assure me I have a nice callous of bone that has developed over my sternum but I still get the "willies" when I think about it. Have a great day everyone! I'll be in touch.

Yesterday began the 2nd half of my recovery. We had a great appointment with Dr. Wolfe and his staff. He listened to my lungs and said they were clear and to my heart and said he did not hear any leaking at all. "Praise God from whom all blessings flow." This was music to our ears. I was given clearance to drive again, to lift things 20lbs or less, to do light exercise and to resume my normal activities within moderation. If at any time I begin to feel tired or pain, I am supposed to stop, take some Advil and rest until feeling better. Sounds easy enough right? While I know all of this is great news, I am also being realistic that it may be several more weeks and possibly months before I'm fully recovered. There is still a lot of healing in the sternum and the nerves and tissues surrounding it. I just keep reminding myself that each day is a day closer to being back to my usual self. : ) There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't recall some part of this journey and all of the special people who've been on it with me. I am humbled by the love and support of my family, my friends, our neighbors and our community and offer my sincerest gratitude. I thank God for another day to know and love Him and by whatever means he chooses to increase my faith today, I commit myself to that glorious end!