Connie's Journal

January 4 is my new surgery date. There are both pros and cons with resetting everything. Though I feel like I won a temporary reprieve, I also keep finding myself thinking things like "I'd probably be coming home from the hospital today" or "Today I would have been 1 week past surgery." Sigh. Well, I should be even more prepared this time and I'll get to enjoy the holidays with my family and friends first! Ups and downs.

Yesterday I received word that my October 12 surgery was being rescheduled for October 27. Today I was told it would be at least early December now. Well that pulled the rug out from under my feet. I was offered another surgeon but after developing a relationship and putting my trust in Dr. Verrier at the University of Washington I'm reluctant to switch at this point. I think I'll just pick a new date and start the count down again. We'll count that first round as a practice run. It should be easier this time, right?

I received word today that my surgery is postponed until October 27. I guess that's both a blessing and a concern. I had my support group ready, family flying in, work delegated, and my mind in a positive place for Monday, so this threw me for a little emotional loop. I'm now getting to work resetting plans, notifying friends and family, and rewording those positive affirmations I running through my head. Instead of "My surgery on Monday will be successful," I'm changing to "My surgery will happen at the perfect time and will be successful." I guess I do have a few more things on my To-Do list that I can get to now.

Hi all. I completed my pre-op appointment was yesterday. It took a full 4 hours and included a physical, EKG, lots of bloodwork, chest X-rays, and meetings with the anesthesiologist, physician assistant, surgeon, and the surgeon's nurses. Paul and I grilled everyone with questions. We have to wait for results from all the pre-op tests but I don't expect anything to be found that will delay the surgery on Oct. 12. I think I'm much too healthy to be having this surgery. I so have a mild cold so we will have to watch that over the next week to make sure it doesn't develop into anything worse. I had a few rough times this week as I began making arrangements at work with my bosses to get projects covered while I'm away. Between that and the pre-op appointment, it all started becoming very real.

My favorite hobby is singing. I sing with a large community choir, a small ensemble, my church praise band, and church choir. I'm wondering how soon after surgery I'll be able to return to this. I'm sure it will take some time before I have enough energy, but I'm worried about my voice and hoping the ventilation tube won't cause any damage. My surgery is in October and I'm hoping to return to my community choir for the December show and be able to sing in church for the Christmas season. Am I hoping for too much? I guess we just have to be patient and see how it goes.

How does everyone else handle all the waiting? I feel like I've been waiting all my life for this surgery. Each yearly or six month appointment required a month or two of waiting. I was told to call the cardiology office or my primary care physician when it was time for my next visit. I would call and then wait a couple days for a call back. They would say the echo referral had been submitted and to wait a few days, then call the appointment line for an echo appointment. After I made the appointment, I would wait a few weeks for it. Then wait a few more weeks for an appointment with my cardiologist for results. Sometimes the cardiologist would request an MRI or CT scan and I would wait again. Usually then I could breath a sigh of relief and try to forgot about my valve for a few months before I would start the process all over. Now I'm waiting for surgery. I'm doing my best to stay very busy and active. I use music to escape. I'm trying to get my house and job in order for while I'm recovering. I'm trying to stay positive and logical, but it's still hard. Let me know how you played the Waiting Game.