Brent's Journal

I have not updated in a year. I had a rough year and most of it was not the valve replacement. I went back to work, only to be laid off. I was denied unemployment (long story) and have not been back to doctors since. I don\'t have insurance and without an income to boot. I just keep thinking there is something wrong with heart. But since I have not been to a doctor in nine months, I dont know whats up. hopefully, this next year will get better.

I have not gone to rehab yet. I did do the stress test this week and it went well. I want to say Happy Mothers day to all the mothers. I will be busy the next couple days cleaning the garage.

I was able to ride the 90 miles to spend some time with family. I had a good laugh with my best friend last night. I cannot be more thankful for family right now. Happy Easter everyone.

I feel limited to what my wife can do. My wife has her own medical problems and walking is not easy for her. So my ability to walk depends on her and I feeling up to walking. Its funny that due to her helping her mom on a paper route, my wife is sleeping when I feel like walking. I went to see one of my doctors yesterday and he is worried that my incision could get infected. The bottom inch looks bad compaired to the rest. It is draining and looks like it wants to open up. I need to admit that I was blessed with resources going into surgery. The hospital I chose had made a video and air it on one of their tv channels. It walks you through the process of surgery and your hospital stay, and recently they updated it to include rehab and going home. I dont know how many hospitals have that kind of resource, but if we all could watch something like that before surgery it would help. I cannot say that was all of the resources I had. I was diagnosed about six years ago and started doing research then. I would go online and this book kept popping up. So, after a month of seeing this book on every other page, I decided to buy it. I was inspired by Adam\'s book. Then he decided to create this website were we could talk with other patients and caregivers. We all have resources and to be able to educate ourselves is priceless. I had this calmness about the surgery. The one thing that made me nervous was my wife making it before they wheeled me in to surgery. I laid in the hospital with this feeling of calmness. I am dumbfounded that people keep telling me I look good. I dont think the realization of them opening me up and replaces a valve has hit me. I am blessed that I have been in the hands of God. Friends kept telling me that God is with me. I know now He is with me.

I had my surgery on March 22, and it went well. I was more nervous about my wife making it to the hospital before they wheeled me into surgery. I did get to say hi and give her a kiss before they wheeled me in. I was told that surgery went well and I have not felt too much pain. I was informed that they took the tube out right way in ICU because I was pulling it out. I remember talking to family as they came in and requested to sit up as soon as possible. I was sitting up in the chair that evening and the next morning they had me walk down the hall before the moved me. I was moved twice on the 23rd. I was sent home that weekend and I have been doing okay. I keep getting told that I look good. I know the nurses were saying I was doing good at the hospital. I hope to continue to do well and keep everyone updated more frequently.

I feel like there should be one of those huge countdown clocks hanging over my head. I think its ironic that my last day of work was St Patrick\'s day. I am part Irish. My family members are going to drive that near 100 mile trip to see me. I worry that they are going to be shocked to see me after surgery. I mean with all those hoses and machines hooked up to me. I know that my coworkers have wished me well. I have friends that have done so, but when family takes the time to drive all this way to do so, then I know its time. I once read the story of the man who wrote the song \'it is well with my soul....\' and the story behind that song changes what you think about that song. I will leave the story for you to research. I was asked if I was nervous yet? All the research I have done has led me this far. I am not nervous yet, ask me monday night. I prepare for the outcome of the surgery not the procedure. Most of us have dealt with the everyday discomforts, but I feel the pain will be worth it. I keep hearing the phrase that God is with me. I know that if God is with me who can be against me.

I finally got my date. March 22. I have to have an angiogram on the 21st. I hope things fall into place. I have to get those loose ends at work taken care of first.

When you think you are ready to take the next step, you have to wait. I am wanting to get my date soon. Went and talked to the surgeon and he has to get back with my cardiologist about coordinating their schedules. I also heard that my mom is still stressing about her insurance thing. I keep telling my sister to tell mom to stop worring. I seem to have my sugar under better control. I am learning not to stuff myself! I have decided on surgeon and hospital.

My week started off sunday with a message that my mom was in the hospital. So I texted my sister back and asked why. \"Her heart and stress\" she told me. I deliver newspapers in the mornings, so after delivering the papers, I drove about 90 miles to see what was going on. I find out that it has to do with medicare insurance that was stressing her out. Her medicine for cholesterol was effecting her. I got to the hospital and she said that they were going to do an echo. So when the afternoon shift change came about, we asked the nurse about the echo. She told us that my mom was there for observation and she would see about the echo. needless to say the echo was done in within an hour and she got to go home. It goes to show that when you speak up things get done. The morning nurse kept saying things move slow on the weekends. I think that is just BS. I talked to sugar doctor last week and he added a pill to help lower my sugar. I talked with cardiologist\'s nurse on monday and told her about my concerns about getting into seeing the surgeon that I chose. I have appointment next week. I went and had a blood test today that I put off from last month. I am hoping to know more next week.

I am still waiting to go see doctor about getting my sugar under control. first, they were moving their office. then it was canceled because of snow. and now I have to wait another week because he only sees patients on monday & wed. so, on the 16th I will finally get to meet this doc.

I have discovered that there is more snow on the ground now than there was 12 hours ago. It is 3:30 pm cst. I had to go get the newspapers this morning. hint the 12 hours ago. I looked out at 3 am and thought that is not much snow as they said was coming. Well, I found out on the way home that the worst has yet to come. now that was bad enough, but the lake effect now looks bad. hopefully it stops soon so we can deliver those papers. with this snow storm, the doctor called on monday to cancel and when my wife called yesterday to reschedule it their voicemail was full. What doctor\'s office cannot find a voicemail that has enough room for messages? so I wait for this sugar control to start. hope everyone stays safe through this \"blizzard\"

I figure that I should take a moment to mention that I have an appointment with doctor about my sugar on the 2nd. I have been blessed with brothers and sisters that want to come and stare at each other while I have surgery. I think they worry to much. I made a joke around my mom about needing a valve job and she did not think it was funny.

I visited my cardiologist today and was told to get my sugar under control. I have decided to go with the hospital that I want to go to, which means using the surgeon I talked to a year and a half ago. I also was told that when I get my sugar levels down they will schedule my angiogram the day before surgery.

I have to visit with doctor in the morning to talk about my visit with the surgeon. I am debating where to have surgery. Well I have to consider what the surgeon said about my sugar levels. My sugar is too high and I need to get it under control.

When I thought I was going to take the next step, back to talk to my cardiologist about my choices again. I thought I would be ready to choose a surgeon. I was told that my sugar has to be below 200. Its a long story. I am having a hard time balancing my sugar right now. So, friday I get to argue with the doctor.

Waiting is the norm for me. I have waited over five years to be told its time for surgery. I am waiting for a phone call. I want this surgery over with already.