richard's Heart Valve Journal

Dear Susan and Richard,
Thank you so much for posting in my journal for my two year anniversary! Susan...I have also enjoyed your journal postings, and have thought of you often. I am glad Richard is doing well. In fact, you both look fantastic in the reunion picture. It brought much joy to me to see all my journal friends looking so happy and healthy! You will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.
Stay healthy,
Theresa C.

Wow, thank you for your kind and generous words about our time together. It meant so much to us that you would drive so far out of your way to see us. We had a great time! Please know that we are real friends and we will be on this amazing journey together wherever it takes us. And even more important, God is with us.

So Richard, what's going on now? Wearing the monitor? How are you feeling? Maybe it's time for a phone call.

Our love to you both.

Duane & Peggy

Hi Susan and Richard,
I was so happy to hear you were doing great. It was so nice you were able to visit Duane. I just celebrated my year anniversary and am doing well. I just wanted to say I always enjoyed your journal entries, and it is great to hear everything is well.
TheresavCallanan

Hi Susan and Richard

You know, I think we just missed you guys in Florida. Pete and I were quite close to Peggy and Duane's town but unfortunately we didn`t have wheels so weren't able to get over to meet them. Hey, great picture by the way. After visiting in Davenport, Florida for a week we flew up to Hilton Head to visit other friends for another week and then home. I haven`t been able to travel for over five years so this trip was very liberating.

I had trouble getting through the metal sensor in Orlando and couldn`t figure out why. I don`t know what I was thinking but will eventually put a call in to the surgeon to confirm I am indeed put together with a little metal. Daaagh!

How are the two of you? Has Richard been keeping well and out of trouble? Were you on holiday long? Do you often go to Florida?

Nice to know we only have a few weeks of winter left. Your winter was a lot more harsh than ours this year. Right now we don`t have a drop of snow - just water-sogged grass. Pete saw a robin this week. That is great news.

Stay in touch. Cheers.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Susan and Richard,
It was so cool that you got together with Duane and Peggy - you all look great in the photos that Duane posted. Duane's news tonight has prompted me to do a quick reconnect with my special guardian angels - you are all so wonderful. I loved reading your last journal entry Richard, nothing wrong with your story telling! Drop me a line when you get a moment, it would be great to hear how you are both faring over the years!
love and hugs
Penny

Great photo of you and Susan with Duane. We would have loved to drive up and visit last week but as Duane probably told you, we had a dear friend visiting. Is it hard to believe that it's been a year? It'll be a year for me on the 18th and my son asked me if we were doing something special on that day. Hadn't thought about, maybe we will come up with something besides prayers of thankfulness. My email address is fmzilko@embarqmail.com if you ever want to send a note.
Fran

Hi Richard
So good to hear from you, thank you for your kind note. I was a little concerned not to hear after my September note as I had asked a few questions. Now, I know you were just busy getting on with life. Seems like your "pump head" symptoms are gone? I hope so, you are really the only one who wrote about it as I recall. Glad to know you haven't really needed the pacemaker, I remember that scary time post op when the decision had to be made. They are still tweaking my meds too as my blood pressure is up a bit. How is work,is there enough work for full time? Hello to Susan, where would we be without our loving spouses? And yes, I do hope we meet. Until then, keep smiling.
Fran

Hi Susan and Richard

So nice to have an update letting us know you are very obviously doing better finally. For you to be able to do all that walking - well, it says it all. I guess it will take a while for people to know you are back to work but be patient and it will come again. Do you have to ever do anything about keeping your unused pacemaker updated with current batteries. Just curious.

Hi to Susan.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Richard (and Susan)
So good to get an update from you and learn you are doing so well. I know you had a rough time of it for quite a while. Great news about the pacemaker. Seems you basically haven't needed it since around your surgery--wonderful. I see my cardio later this month for my 6 month check and echo. Will see if any med changes take place. Every few weeks I have a few seconds of "funny" vision and blame it on the heart lung machine. If they start to happen more frequently or last longer will have to look into them as you are.

I know you must be feeling 100% better as you did your own posting instead of your bride. Does this mean the "pump head" syndrome is finally gone? What a wonderful trip to DC you had. Did you do the Smithsonian? That's another trip as you need a couple of days to see it well. Hope it wasn't too hot. I am walking inside on a treadmill as the heat and humidity is so uncomfortable for me. Hope you will have a mild winter. Also now that you're healthy, hope work picks up for you. I have a brother who is a carpenter and they are finally starting to do some custom cabinetry for people who are updating their homes or their offices. Keep smiling, keep your sense of humor and let us know how it's going in ME.
Fran

Hi Richard,
It's "Norah next door" Ya we are jusr back for DC also. And God but I have legs that burn for the first time in my life. But it was fun. Not that Mike and I ran up the Metro stairs!
Glad your doing well and remember we all have the odd vision problem from time to time. It's call the over 50 club, so I reckon your doing wonderful and by all accounts have a clean bill of health. Good for you.
Don't panic about the jobs not moving as fast you may want. I say, be careful what you wish for! Shoudl I win the lotto you will have a giant headace. And that's a promish.
Talk to you soon.
PS. If your lady wife has to work late and you need a walk we can arrange that. Mike would just love to test out his "walking shoes".

Hi Richard and Susan,
So good to hear from you. You sound like you are doing amazing. I hope the vision problem gets resolved easily. Were you in D.C. This week-end during the big revival rally? It sounds like you and Susan enjoyed yourselves. Let us know how you make out after your tests. Only best wishes to you both.
Theresa C.

HiSue,
God damm it, does this mean we have to start jogging now? So much for our chat and walk. Does Richard realize what high standards he is setting for the walkers of Wentworth Road. Help.

Norah.
PS Good for you Rich.

HiSue,
God damm it, does this mean we have to start jogging now? So much for our chat and walk. Does Richard realize what high standards he is setting for the walkers of Wentworth Road. Help.

Norah.
PS Good for you Rich.

Good Morning Richard and Susan
Understand you're finally getting some summer weather this weekend after a cool, rainy June. Would love to send some of our heat and humidity to you. Often think of you both and glad you had a great post for us to see progress. It's hard not to be impatient (as in "why not yesterday"?). We know God has a plan for each of us and in His wisdom He has not chosen to reveal it to us.
With my complications post op, I tended to judge my progress on a daily basis and it was pretty depressing. Then my dear Pete suggested I try a weekly progress check and that worked so much better as I did make progress week to week. As I follow your notes, Richard, I do see progress. Hang in there. We don't know why some people are back to work in 4 weeks and no set backs. Others have more trials. We'll all be stronger for it in the end. I too have had some vision problems. Seems like a current theme. Vision is not as sharp and last night had the white zigzag lines of a migraine but no pain. Being a nurse will say I never had post op patients who had standard anesthesia (no heart-lung machine) complain about vision related problems after surgery. So have to assume it's unique to open heart surgery. We can't have the surgery without it. I am still on heart medication, a pretty hefty dose to control my heart rate and pulse, a diuretic, potassium, Coumadin and Crestor (cholesterol). Richard I know it's a pain, but be thankful your drugs are available to continue to keep you and your heart healthy.Maybe one day the dosages will be lowered or even discontinued. Keep smiling, walking, jogging, whatever it takes to improve. The recovery from this major surgery is no picnic but the alternative is something not to think about.
Fran

Hi Richard & Susan!

It is so good to hear from you guys and to hear that Richard continues to make good progress. Maybe some of his (and my) lingering issues are anesthesia related. I've read that's pretty mysterious and non-specific stuff. Perhaps those vision issues come from that. Who knows? They know a lot, but obviously even brilliant doctors don't know everything. I'm glad God does!

Way to go on your rehab and walking and jogging, Richard!! My two cardiac rehab nurses are training for a half marathon in October, and I am threatening to try to do it with them. Wouldn't that be a newsworthy story--two rehab nurses with their patient? Perhaps you could come and join us. Seriously, it's great that you're walking. Exercise and activity are key to recovery. I know I just feel a whole lot better being active.

Keep on the upward track. Do keep in touch. If you ever venture away from the journals, my email is duane@centerpointchurch.org.

Love & Prayers from FL,

Duane

Hi Susan and Richard

Isn't it great that Richard is trying so well - that's amazing. It tells me his mind is healing and he is having confidence in his health. He just may start jogging and next we'll be hearing about his knees! Anyway Richard, I'm totally proud of your efforts.

Thanks for your entry in my journal Susan. It's nice to keep in touch. Weather here is great as well - 80's so I'm loving it. Life here has returned to "normal" and I'm happy to say Pete is averaging 3 golf days a week. I say days because sometimes he gets 36 holes in and then comes home and joins me for a walk. He doesn't use a cart until the second 18 holes so he really gets exercise.

I really do pray that Richard's full memory returns soon. Are there any little tests such as puzzles etc. that might help speed things up?

Enjoy your summer as well.

Cheryl, Ontario

Dear Susan,
Thank you so much on your kind words concerning my brother-in-laws death. It was unexpected and sad, but we are all coping as well as can be expected.
So glad to hear about Richard's progress...I understand completely about medications...I am on a beta blocker which has significantly lowered my blood pressure to 90/60, to address my fast heart rate. Since I have no symptoms of low blood pressure, the doctor says it is ok. I was told by my cardiologist that he would eventually ween me off of the medication...when I do not know. I hope his eye doctor gets to the bottom of his vision problem...I do know when I was in the beginning stages of recovery, my eyesight seemed different and it was hard for me to read and focus. It is better now, but maybe it lasts longer for some patients. Once again, you are so funny concerning Richard's jogging. It made me laugh! Glad to hear from you again.
Take Care,
Theresa Callanan

I'm glad to hear that Richard is doing well enough to try a little jogging during his walks. Keep up that great attitude and you'll be well on your way back to you happy go lucky self.

PS Kiddos to you Nurse Susan.

You go Richard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Hmmm Richard as a walker/jogger - does this mean he gets to wear a tank top and itty bitty shorts - oh yeah! Keep working it Rich - every day will get better and better. Regarding your eyesight - medications can really play with our minds that is for sure. Take care and have a great weekend.

Bella

Hi Susan and Richard

Thanks for the note in my guestbook. I know you both have been busy as well, especially as the good weather is here and we are out of doors more. Sounds as if you are still having a few concerns Richard but eventually as time goes by hopefully you will become more adjusted to how your body feels now. I know that has been happening with me over the palpitations I still get but at least the beta blocker helps reduce them so that I don't feel them as violent or as often. I will go ages without feeling my incision and then I might twist or turn a certain way and I'll feel the pinch. I think Adam said that could go on for quite some time yet.

I too am back to walking and going further and faster as I develope the ability to do so. Pete comes along with me most times and when he does he reports the walks are more business than just pleasure because I'm going as fast as I'm able and as he's offering to stop here or there, I take my wrist monitor and don't slow down until my heart beat gets too high. After Pete has spent all day in the sun on the golf course he's pretty much walked out but thank goodness he's so supportive that he insists on coming with me. Susan - he's still actively pitching in with the housework as well. He does most of the vacuuming and the bathrooms with leaves me the dusting - the easy part! Just thought I'd give him a plug.

It was good to hear from you. Enjoy the good weather as we get so little of it.

Take care you two.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Susan and Richard,
It is so nice to hear from you...I enjoy reading your updates. It seems the road to recovery is sometimes long, and many have had some complications. But the important fact is....everyone has plowed through the complications and continued on their road to recovery. I think that even though we have Adam's book as a reference point, everyone has had a unique and different experience. I think that is what is so great about this site...hearing everyone's experience gives you a perspective that you might sail through surgery with no complications, or you might have setbacks but still you will be ok. I hope Richard continues to progress and everyday is a better one. Please keep in touch it was great to hear from you. I am in cardio rehab and totally enjoying it.
Take care,
Theresa Callanan

Hi Susan,
Great to read the up-date. It's hard to imagine that Richard is still 'recovering' when he looks so good.
So thank you for that. As friends we must remember that just because you guys are home form the hospital in Boston, that does'nt mean all is well. So if and when you do need a chat, helping hand or a dinner out with friends keep us in mind. We are always justt a ph call away. Hang in there Susan and remember it's getting better each and every day.
Norah next door.
Ps. Richard should you be looking for silent walking friend ... Mike is free!

Hi Susan and Richard

Sorry I have taken so long to get back to you. I lent my laptop a few weeks ago and haven't been getting down to the office during the evenings to keep up so right now I'm making the effort to get all my e-mails caught up. It was so nice to hear from you. Your e-mails are so inspiring.

Some days I feel much as Richard does in that I can either jump through hoops or just sit and watch someone else do the jumping. Thankfully I don't have too many of those blah days anymore. I try to always at least look like I'm "alive and energetic" so as not to put Peter through more stress. It breaks my heart to remember how hard he took my surgery and how even now when I say the slightest negative thing without thinking, the look of terror on his face. I'm thinking some of my loss of energy, other than the drugs I'm on, could possibly be the muscle I've lost since not being able to fully exercise in so very long and now it's that much further I have to climb. I'm trying to be positive in thinking about that.

Captain Bill said it well when he said he didn't sign up for this lengthy and difficult recovery but that is what it is when the truth be told. It's a lot of hard work and I'm no spring chicken!!

Richard is so right when he compares how his emotional well-being has been taken down a peg or two. Maybe it's like we've been forced to face the possibility of death or some imparement to our bodies and it takes so much out of us that getting through the physical part of the surgery is only one step. It would be easier to pick up the pieces if we didn't have to go through the recovery process and the little things that happen to us while doing so. Others just can't near imagine having the wind knocked clear out of themselves and the difficulty it is in getting it back.

We are survivors though Susan and I really do feel so blessed that I've been given a second chance. Selfishly it would have been nice if that second chance came with the energy of a teen!

Since surgery I now say I come with instructions.

You talk a lot about how Richard feels but how do you feel? Can you say you are totally unscathed having been through such a rough time with Richard? Have you been able to put all of this in the past and move on? I hope you have gained enough confidence in Richard's health that you can go about each day thinking Richard just needs a push now and then and that eventually he too will be able to put all of this in a special place, to be shared now and then just for old times sake.

Take care Susan. Wishing you both a happy summer.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Richard & Susan
I have been remiss in thanking you for your encouraging notes in my journal as I have dealt with a few setbacks. Visit to my internist today shows there is still some fluid in both lung cavities, but it is not increasing, so with time, God willing, will not have to have them drained again.Lung cough, congestion, infection has cleared,amen.The cardio says it may be 6 months, she says up to a year till I'm back to my old self. So, Susan, your advice about patience and taking time really touched me as you two are going through it right now. I will be kind to my body and do what I can and let time work its' magic. I measure my progress by the week because like Richard, it changes too much by the day. Great news about your heart doing well on its' own and not needing the pacemaker. I remember how difficult that time was for you post op. Guess you just have to think of it as insurance, it's there when and if it is needed.Hope the trip to Ct went well and so glad spring has finally come. Will send you some of our heat. It's too hot for us already.In the 90's and that doesn't usually happen till June. Have been walking in my home, but did go to the sports center we have here in our development and used the treadmill as walking outdoors with the heat and humidity won't be possible for a long time. There are so many newcomers who have come on board and I try to follow some of them, but we "oldies" have to stick together.
Keep smiling, keep moving and stay positive. Am going to print it in bold letters and put it on my refrigerator door!
Fran Z

Dear Susan & Richard,
Thank you so much for signing my journal...it was great to hear from you. I am glad to hear Richard is doing well...and it is great he did not use the pacemaker at all recently. I think it is normal to have good days and not so good days. In time, hopefully they will be all good ones. Isn't it amazing how many people have joined this site...so many new ones to pray for. Keep us updated ...it is always good to hear from you.
Theresa Callanan
Howell NJ

Hey Richie - you think you are the only one who has days they don't feel up to snuff?? Most of us have that, and we haven't had heart surgery. So - celebrate each day as it comes.
we love you,
Bella and Arthur

Hi Richard & Susan
First off, let me thank you for your posts during my surgery and post op. Am just a little over 3 weeks after getting a new mitral valve (bovine), a tricuspid repair and a MAZE procedure. Thank God for the pacing wires that are inserted during surgery as my own heart rate dropped to 30 qnd the pacemaker kicked in. When we met Duane he commented on the fact that they never inserted pacer wires at his hospital. Seems everything is not standard protocol everywhere. My heart rate had been running at about 100 and after doubling one of my meds, it's at a more manageable rate of 70-80. It's different for everyone as I have been finding out as I read these journals since January. Am still wondering what went on at the store? Just flash your scar when they give you a hard time, that'll scare them. Glad you've started rehab. Perhaps that will help lift some of the confusion. Our bodies are wonderful things but it's something to think about how much trauma they are really put through with this surgery. Time heals and as Cheryl wrote, just keep writing notes, I did that before surgery and still do that. Of course, sometimes Pete will remember something I forgot and that helps. Otherwise, when we're both at a loss, try to laugh about it and let it go and then it pops into our heads. Hello to Susan. It's not easy on the spouses of we patients! Like yours, mine is a real keeper. Hope spring is finally coming to Maine. Before rehab, where did you do your walking, inside? Well, post evry now and then and let us know how well you're progressing.
Fran Z

Rich - You are nothing but trouble. Sometime ask Arthur why we cannot return to the bookstore in Maine. Sounds like rehab is going well. Keep up the good work.
Hugs.
Bella

Hi Richard

Good to hear you are finally in rehab as that's a big step to "getting back". I've lost a lot of upper body strength as well and will be glad when I get that back. As far as memory goes, it's not important unless you are looking for something which I seem to be doing all the time! I make lots of notes. I feel my eyes have changed since the surgery, especially distance. I don't have an appointment until June so will be glad to see if there is indeed a change. I keep wondering if it isn't the drugs. When you can laugh at yourself your sense of humor is still hanging in there. We could all write books on the funny side of being heart patients! It's spring, you are progressing - life is good. Take care.

Hi Susan, it must feel good to be getting the house back to normal.

Cheryl, Ontario

Richard,
You can tell by your writing that you're feeling much better - by the way, what happened in the store? Susan has not mentioned a word. You're still in my prayers!
Maria

Hi Susan and Richard

I know it hasn't been all that long since Richard's surgery and when I think of him still waiting to be able to get back to work, I can feel his frustration of just hanging around trying to be busy at getting well. That's the really hard part about working outside of the home. My husband can't sit still for an hour unless he's watching golf and even at that he's in and out and up and down. I don't see him as being a good patient at all. Me, I could watch grass grow. I always have something to do.

Even now, 6 mos. later I still get little bites from my incision if I move or stretch a certain way. If I push on it, it's sore.

I haven't found my memory to be any worse than it was before the surgery. Now I have to clarify that. I have a terrible memory and there are times it worries me even though I joke about it. My 85 year old mother has an excellent memory. The only time I'm asolutely sure of a memory is when I'm arguing with my husband about something that I just know was the way I "THINK" I remember it!!! My very dear friend Jonny is always telling me I just have so much on my mind that some things have to take a back seat. Bless her.

I'm glad the weather is getting better thereby letting Richard get out walking. Recovery is just going to take time and sometimes the word forever comes to mind. I get impatient with myself wishing it would be faster.

My husband is home from his golf trip as of late last night. They drove straight through from Crossville, Tennessee because one of the eight guys just found out his wife is going to be battling breast cancer. Tomorrow we are heading to a "celebration of life" for my niece's fiancee who just died from a two week bout of liver cancer. It is so true, that as bad as we may have it, there is always someone else worse off.

I continue to pray for you and Richard. Maybe he needs to delve into a good James Patterson murder mystery or something.

Sorry this got so long. You have to try and keep your spirits up too Susan. You can only help, encourage and cajole Richard so much and then Richard has to be responsible for himself.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hey Richard & Susan...
I have felt my incision "pulling" and stinging over the past couple of weeks (surgery was Feb. 22nd), especially if I reach for something and stretch my arm out. I also notice my incision/chest hurts if I slouch - it's forcing me to sit correctly!
I see the surgeon on Wednesday 3/31 so I will see if that's normal or if I inadvertently injured my sternum.
Good to hear Richard's progressing nicely!
God bless!
Kathy Jamison-Patnode

Hi Richard and Susan,
I enjoyed hearing an update on Richard's condition. I can understand the concentration part....I am an avid reader and besides magazines have not been able to concentrate on reading any novels yet...patience I guess time will change this. My cardiologist gave me a script for cardio rehab, but I am waiting until I go back to the surgeon and am cleared to drive. Nice hearing from you...I will update after my surgeon visit on April 7.
Theresa Callanan

Richard & Susan,

As always, I'm delighted to hear from you, both in your guestbook posting and in your journal entry.

Hey, just who are you calling the "old timers" on the HVJs?

Thanks for reading my WHOLE update; as usual quite verbose. You're right, they will have checked out just about everything there is to check out inside me. Thanks for your nice words about our family picture. They truly are our pride and joy, and I am indeed very blessed! At the hospital, nurses would say to us "oh, you're the one with the wonderful huge family." With life becoming gradually more normal, I too am posting with less frequency. Hard to keep up with everyone and everything. As far as returning to a full work load, I am fortunate that my work is less physically demanding than Richard's. Richard, DO NOT LIFT!! Don't push it! With all my medical runnings around, I am blessed to have flexibility in my schedule (I pay for it in other ways) and I work out of a home office, since our church has no facilities. We own land, but we meet in a local school cafeteria.

So glad to hear Richard continues to improve and make progress in returning to normalcy. Regarding my incision, I think mine is a bit more sensitive again too. I wouldn't call it pain, just prickly and, well, sensitive. How's that for specific? I think you're right that it's all just different stages in the healing process. That's what my cardiologist said. I also sometimes still feel pressure in my sternum area. My concentration levels are also somewhat all over the map. I don't know if I can blame the surgery, the stroke, the balancing act with all the medical appointments or my own ADD. I hope Richard can start cardiac rehab soon. I should be starting in a week or so. When I can feel confident running and working out, I'll feel more like me.

If you guys are ever feeling low or need some support or prayer or just a friend, feel free to contact me.

Any movement on selling that house?

Duane

Hi Rich - Sounds like your body is healing like it should. You have remember all those hands, etc. that were inside your heart area--and then to have the pacemaker put in. A lot of "carpentry" went on in there. Keep up the good walking. It IS boring when there is no one to talk to all day. Head out for the senior citizen center if there is one and get in a game of cards.
Luv ya
Bella

Hi Susan and Richard

Just catching up on journals this evening so I just wanted to drop by and say I'm hoping you are doing well and hopefully been having a little better luck with your pacemaker. Once your heart is considered to have had time to settle down, will you still have the pacemaker?

What about rehab? Anything new on that front? I still go weekly but it certainly isn't anything earth shattering yet. Susan said you are anxious to be getting busier so just want to say take it easy and don't push.

Wishing you both well.

Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Susan and Richard,
I know that so many of us can relate to how Richard feels. My friends keep saying that they will get the 'old' Penny back soon and I can't wait for her to surface! This lethargy is just not something that I am used to. As I have an office at home I do a little admin or essentail communication in the mornings but my heart definitely isn't in it yet, and this from someone who is passionate about my work. Steve and Georgie are both amazing, full of praise for the smallest effort that I make and in the end I do it for them. Left to my own devices I would sleep 24/7! Stay strong. Love Penny (Scotland)

Hey Susan, did you find my e-mail yet. If not, just answer here. Cheryl

Hi Richard and Susan,
WOW, what a day! I hope you are enjoying this Spring weather as much as we are. Glenn and the whole clan down here say hello and send their best wishes. It's always wonderful to get your postings and keep up to date on how you all are doing. Sounds like patience is really key! Maybe we can plan a visit the next time Joanne is up. I'd love to see you guys!
Lots of love,
Holly

Hi Susan
I forgot to add that if you subscribe to my journal updates your e-mail address will automatically be put in my list of subscribers and I might be able to find you there. If you are already there then I can't figure out which of the e-mails is yours. You should easily be able to pick out mine from Richard's list of subscribers though. Talk later. Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Susan,
Thank you for all the updates and Happy St. Patrick's Day to you and your family. I hope they straighten the pacemaker problem out. Glad to hear Richard is up and about meeting for lunch.
Theresa Callanan

Hi Susan
Got your note. When you sign into Richard's page, on the right side of the page, look at the headings offered there where you can add a new journal etc. Go down that list just a bit and you will see Subscribers. Open that up and you will see the e-mail addresses of all the people who automatically have signed on to get one of Richard's and your postings. I am in that list. I think I would be easy to pick out. See if you can find it and try sending me an e-mail. I have used my hotmail address.

I have had several people write me about private issues and we've used the e-mail address to do this. Hope to hear from you. Send a single word "test" to see if it goes to me first and I'll reply right back.
Cheryl, Ontario

Hi Richard
Thanks for the note in my journal. Glad you finally got to "use" the computer on "your own". Will update again before my surgery on Thursday. Capt'n Bill and I were in the same area of the hospital this morning, but didn't meet yet. Glad you're getting stronger every day and hope spring comes soon to ME. Beautiful weather will make everything seem much better. Hello to Susan.
Fran Zilko

Hey Dick,
Charlie and Lexie are still waiting on your floor plan for their apartment.
Post some pictures. Are you still big enough to work at Bellies? Are we going to have to put our left over pills in your junk box this Christmas?
Do you crave hay? Do you chew your cud?
Talk to us, give us some information.
Can you play the piano now? Else

My biggest concerns besides having surgery on a national holiday (St. Paddy's Day) is follow up and post op care when I get back to the Lake. I am hoping Cleveland is so good I won’t require and post follow up. Based on everything I have read in the journals and all of the amazing posts, that is not going to happen. I came up with my questions list for Dr. Gillinov and because of all the information I have learned here, I had only one question. Was Robin Williams funny and in character when he woke up in ICU???
happy boating
Captain Bill

Hi Susan
Just read your letter about the doctor's visit after I wrote my post to you. I imagine it can be discouraging when we read about some of the writers who seem to bounce back so quickly. As I recall, they are all young, 40 and under. We old timers (and I know I have several years on Richard)just have bodies that don't bounce back so quickly. I do so admire Bev, just had her 83rd birthday and she's having her setbacks. If the climb up the ladder is always more than the backwards steps, we have to look at it positively.Hopefully with spring on the way (and no more coumadin) things will get better. Prayers to you both. Would look forward to a get together one day on our way to Brunswick. You Maniacs are special people.
Fran Zilko

Hello Susan & Richard
Just a special thank you for the lovely note to me. Appreciate all your kind thoughts and prayers. Will write again from Cleveland. Richard, hope you keep getting stronger every day and Susan, hope you are taking good care of yourself.
Fran Zilko

Susan,
You are the "North Star" for everyone, not only Richard. Hang in there my dear, Love is never easy or worry free. As long as two people have each other life is always a blessing.
So enjoy all the good moments and nurse the low moments with "pure and simple Love".
Richard is doing good,not as good as yesterday but hey better today.
So hang in there and remember we are less that 2 seconds apart if you need a helping hand.
Love
Norah, Mike Sarah and Hannah

Hi Susan and Richard

Just was closing out of the journals and saw your update. How we are all feeling within our chests is different from patient to patient, but I know what it's like to feel my heart beat and when I explain that to others (non patients) they all say they don't feel their's at all. I suppose unless we are using a doctor who has gone through this, he doesn't really know what we're talking about and can't sufficiently explain it himself. Doctors can talk about what they are expected to hear such as the flub dubs etc. but they can't relate to how it actually feels.

Richard is obviously feeling a different type of beating in his chest and I can see why he wants to know and make sure it is what is expected. You used a great word - vulnerable - and I would suspect each of us are vulnerable and timid and only time will help us get used to what is our new norm. Maybe the doctors can't exactly tell us what we are expected to feel so they have to rely on the tests. Richard has been through a lot and he wants something more solid to go on and unfortunately the doctors can't tell him anything other than the tests are good. (And honestly, I would rather know what the tests have to report as to dwell on how it feels.)

That's pretty exciting to know Richard is off the blood thinner and I would hope he is pleased. I'm still on mine and have no idea if or when I will be getting off. You know, I think I feel safer on the darn stuff because I've been thinking it is probably about time it will get stopped and then when I renew, sure enough, I'm still on it. It is a nuisance to continue with the testing but I think I'm a little scared about the blood clot aspect so I'm happy to just let it be. Dumb, but what can I say? Obviously I'm feeling a little insecure myself about letting go of that particular crutch.

I think getting us totally back on track really is a time thing and it may take a very long time yet before we all feel safe. There is a huge psychological factor in this healing.

Can you imagine how Richard must feel? He feels a certain rhythm when he is doing certain things and then he steps it up a notch and the rhythm changes and he's feeling that change so is wondering how fast does this thing go? When does Richard start rehab? Hopefully that will help make a lot of positive difference in him getting used to things. I like my rehab because it's somewhere I can take questions to and know I'm going to be listened to and given decent feedback.

My rehab nurse gave me a booklet on arrhythmias this week and it helped me understand my pvc's and double and triple beats. She had a fancy name for the double and triple beats and I forgot them. Do you know what they're called?

Tell Richard to keep looking ahead. Spring is here soon and we'll all be outside walking and hopefully getting preoccupied with other thoughts. Cheers. Cheryl, Ontario

PS - And you think you are long-winded!