patrick's Guestbook

Someone from Texas that is rooting for you. posted a note for patrick that says: I believe tomorrow is your big day. It's your first step toward recovery; toward a new life.

Be patient. Don't project the short-term onto the long-term. Right now, things are frustrating and uncomfortable. But, it's likely that you will look back on this situation a year from now from a place of comfort, health and stability. I've been down a similar road.

I look forward to hearing your updates. Hang in there. Don't think too much.

Martin Smith posted a note for patrick that says: Patrick, I believe your surgery date is fast approaching, so I'd like to take a moment now to wish for you the best outcomes and smoothest recovery. I'm looking forward to hearing from you about how well the Danish health care system treated you. In just a few days you will begin an exciting and hopeful new chapter in your life. Our thoughts are with you.

Moussa hojeij posted a note for patrick that says: patrick hello, hope you're doing well. i really recommend you to view my profile and see what i wrote for page barnes, it could change your entire life.....

Phyllis Petersen posted a note for patrick that says: Patrick, I hope you are feeling more comfortable about your upcoming surgery. Of course, you're still scared. Everyone is! I made sure to have a nice dinner with my sister the night before, which helped greatly. Plan something fun for this week before your surgery. It'll both take your mind off of things and give you a real boost. The numbers are on your side, especially since your so young. Hopefully, all the decisions are made now. It's also good to plan something special for a couple of months after surgery. You'll be tired and it'll take awhile to get back to having a lot of energy, but it will come and the ordeal will slowly fade into the background. Phyllis

Alvaro Rodriguez posted a note for patrick that says: Hey Patrick, you'll do just great! I had two valves repaired less than 6 months ago and I'm 30. Please know that so many of us were so scared once we found out that we needed you're surgury but I can tell you now that the grass is very very green on the other side. Hang in there and be positive! Please reach out if you have any question!

Moussa hojeij posted a note for patrick that says: hi patrick, i did the same surgery that you're going to do, i'm only 21 year-old. just be motivated and don't fear anything you're going to be okay it just need patience. i want to ask how old are you? because you seem young

~Someone from Texas that is rooting for you! posted a note for patrick that says: Hi Patrick,

I read your profile. I've been thinking about it for a week or so now. Finally, I decided I had to write you a note. I can only imagine how you feel. I too have a bicuspid aortic valve. My diagnosis came when I was 12 or so. Changed the path of my life. I was scared to death until I encountered a worse health problem at age 23. At that time in my life, I had two (perhaps more) hemorrhagic strokes. The pain, depression and outlook was so bad I gave up. I had been hospitalized for a week only to return home to have another stroke! At that point, I threw in the towel. My Mother figured out what was going on, and she tried to call the paramedics. I told her I would refuse treatment; I just wanted to die in my own home. No hospital. After bad pain for a day or so, I made the decision to go to the hospital...

Guess what? I'm still here 13 years later. Sometimes I look in the mirror in complete disbelief! I thought my life was done. Moreover, my life has been rewarding. I have accomplished things I never thought possible prior to that horrible event. I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. Otherwise, I'm fairly certain I wouldn't be typing this now. Many good things followed that hospital visit. Things I didn't think were possible.

My brain aneurysm made my bicuspid valve look like a joke. The combination of a brain aneurysm and a bicuspid valve put me on a path that I appreciate today. I grew up poor, so I tried to join the military when I was still in high school. They caught my bicuspid valve (I tried to hide it), so they denied me. I was devastated at that point in my life. Of course, worse was on the way. But, after struggling for a bit, it all worked out. It forced me down a road that was just right for me. It made me tougher and less afraid. It enabled me to try harder; it pushed me to success.

Try to be patient. Try to keep your mind busy. They will keep you comfortable. You are in my thoughts. And your outlook is much, much better than the one I had 13 years ago. If I'm still here, there is no reason you won't be. Just try to relax as best you can.

Martin Smith posted a note for patrick that says: Hello Patrick,
Sorry to read that you're having an awful time grappling with the implications of your heart condition. I'm much older than you are but I, too, had to act recently to address issues stemming from having a calcifying BAV. Your feelings are absolutely normal, and you're entitled to them. But while it's easier said than done, try not to dwell on the negative scenarios. Know with certainty that the math is heavily weighted in your favour. So is your age. No doubt that other challenges that we face as individuals and as societies can contribute to our feelings of being overwhelmed. Patrick, you can and will emerge healthier on the other side of your heart operation. And as you progress during recovery you will find the debilitating effects of anxiety will lessen. A few months ago, prior to my operation I, too, questioned whether even addressing the heart issue during these difficult times we're living in was worth all the fuss and effort. Well, I promise you it IS necessary to address the issue, and it IS worth it. When I found myself feeling particularly miserable at moments during the months leading up to surgery, I would ask myself, "If these are my last moments in the world do I really want them to feel like this?" NO! And, frankly, I was burdened by a lot of thoughts about these being my last moments. The positive side to the dark thoughts was that I got to live some extraordinary experiences, connection, and love while acknowledging that time COULD BE__ but, hopefully, wasn't! __ running out. And believe this: I and many others on this forum can assure you there is wonderful life to be lived on the other side of our valve replacements.

Steven Methot posted a note for patrick that says: Hi Patrick, Steven from Canada. Looks like we have a similar diagnosis.
Patrick, your fear is something that we all face. Mine is actually not that I won't wake up again, although that's a real one, it's more that perhaps there are things worse than that. What about a debilitating stroke... that sort of thing.

But one thing to realize with the aneurysm is that you run the risk every day of sudden death. At a certain point the risk of the surgery will be less than the risk of the aneurysm and then it will be time to operate.

There's a Danish proverb, Det sværeste bjerg at krydse er tærsklen. Or at least that's what I think it was, something like - The hardest mountain to cross is your threshold. A Danish friend always told me that when I was worried about something and not moving ahead. You do what you can with what's immediately in front of you. Be up front about your fear with your physicians, with your family, with your friends, but don't let it immobilize you. All the best.

Meredith Bray posted a note for patrick that says: Hi Patrick!
You wrote: " how do you deal with the feeling or rather fear, that you wont wake up from the surgery? im terrified of them putting me to sleep and never waking up again."

Wow, that's a deep question, and something I've never really discussed, only with my husband the night before surgery. We approached that scenario with a very practical attitude. We made a list of legal documents and papers and passwords. We double checked life insurance and both got our wills in order. I had researched the mortality rate for the surgery and for my age group (I was 42) and knew I had a fighting chance. I leaned on my developing faith, as the immediate outcome of the surgery was something I had zero control over.
I had a lot of time on my own while waiting for surgery - I had a 1 hour commute to work each day, then 2 hours at home alone, and I spent most of my workday alone. So I had PLENTY of time to dwell on the what-ifs. I came to the realization that if I didn't wake up from surgery, I would never know. And if I was aware that I didn't survive, surely the afterlife wouldn't be a sad and depressing place. My despair was for my loved ones left behind. And that was the center of our tearful conversation the night before - could he cook for himself? Iron his own shirts? Grocery shop? Would he still go to work? Would he be lonely?
We tried to keep our sense of humor, and just plan for recovery after. One of the things that helped me was planning a vacation. We had a family reunion planned for 4 months post-op, and that really gave me something to look forward to - I could envision myself at the cabin with the siblings and cousins having a good time.
I don't remember falling asleep. The last thing I remember is someone putting an IV in my arm in a clinic room, like a regular doctor's office.
I'm so glad you ask questions, this is a good question to ask. Maybe someone else out there will have some input also?

Meredith
Clearwater, Florida