Hi Mary - You will be going through the hard part up until Jeff goes through surgery. The unknown is what gets to you. All I wanted to do was get through surgery. I was told the same thing about this time you are going through being the worst. It is true! Find a surgeon you trust. Talk to more than one if you can. The 'to do list' will be there and it will get done. Tell Jeff to try not to dwell on his problem. It is hard I know. It is weird to hear 'routine surgery' attached to open heart surgery, but the doctors have this surgery down pat. This next part is weird to say but here goes. Make sure Jeff has all his affairs in order. Once I knew everything was good in that respect it was a releif and a load off shoulders. It actually made me feel better to know my family would be ok. Cry when you need to. A therapist helped me and my wife before and after surgery. Jeff will get tired of talking about it at points and other times that will be all he wants to talk about. Stay strong!
Hi Mary - I am 58 and had AVR plus part of my aorta replace about 4 months ago. My issue was a bicuspid valve. I too became angry, depressed, and very much into myself. I think it is pretty normal. I was in good shape before surgery. Surgery went very well and I am doing excercise 5-6 days per week at the same levels I was before I was diagnosed. Let Jeff get over the shock. It is very scary. Try to get him to participate in the reading and writing of the jounaaling here. It helps a lot. I'm not sure what I would have done without this site to go to. Sometimes it scared the c - - - out of me and made me cry, but mostly it was reassuring to talk to folks who had 'been there, done that' or who were going through same exact thing. Jeff is healthy and he will get through this. I know it is hard on the family too. My wife went through almost the same kind of feelings I did. We got through it together! What we had/have is very fixable. The hardest decison was 'what type of valve' do I want. Read and explore about all the options. Remember sometimes to try to just put it away and live your real life. My doctor actually told me to excercise the same way I was prior to diagnosis all the way to two days before surgery.
Hi Mary and Jeff, Welcome to HV J you will be so glad you came and joined the club. There is a wealth of info here and be sure to get Adams book, it will really help in getting ready. I also have aortic stenosis and anuersym of ascending aorta. I have been here for a while as you will see reading my journal but now it is all changing for me. Read a lot of the other journals as well you will find we all have the same things going on. I dont know what I would do without this site. Its like one big family and I have meant so many friends here. If you have any questions or concerns put it on here. We all support each other and now I am really leaning on this as my time is so close. Good luck to you and remember you also can do this. The waiting is the worse part.
Mooving on up
Mary, you have found a perfect place offering support, helpful/practical information. Everyone here on this website has gone through a multitude of heart issues and will be a source of comfort for you and your husband.