Deirdre's Guestbook

Hey, Lori! Our stories are quite similar, aren’t they? It was quite a shock to go from believing I was totally healthy, to needing open heart surgery in just the span of a few weeks. I remember when my cardiologist told me open heart surgery was unavoidable, it felt in that moment as though I had been ushered into a room I had never considered entering, and the door was sealed shut behind me. I would never again be the “totally healthy” person I was, or thought I was, before. Now I had a heart condition and the room I had just entered was unknown to me and I couldn’t really see what was ahead. As I went through the tests necessary to determine if I was a candidate for minimally invasive mitral repair, it felt like autopilot. Just get the tests done, schedule surgery, and soldier on through it. My husband is a sort of retired Army Colonel (he is still in demand as a trainer and consultant) and I’ve learned through him to just face things, choose whom you trust to handle your care, and no pity parties lol. I didn’t exactly feel nervous outwardly, but I did notice a drop in appetite which is pretty normal for me when I feel stressed. Since you’ve read my story, you know how it all went for me. You’re not likely to have anything other than your surgery and recovery and I’m sure you’ll do great! I bet you sail through it. The only advice I would give is not to have very many visitors for the first couple of days after your surgery. Your body will need rest far more than talking to people. One of my sons and his family came the day after my surgery and while I greatly appreciated the time they gave me, I felt I had to struggle to stay awake for them. Who will you have with you at the hospital? Do you have family nearby?

Hi Deirdre! Thank you so much for your encouraging words! It seems weird to say, but I am just wanting the days to go quickly leading up to my surgery on 10/12, and put it behind me. Since we live in the North Bay Area of the San Francisco Bay Area, my husband will be taking FMLA and will be staying in a hotel near Stanford Hospital. My 2 daughters (22 & 23) are still at home, so they will be a big help when I get home as well. It seems silly, but my mind goes to weird scenarios like how will I wash and dry my hair etc. Did you get a post op bra to wear? I’m trying to think of anything I may need to make life easier as I recover. Thank you again for your support! So glad you are doing well!

It’s not weird at all! Now that you have your date, it just sort of feels like you’re in limbo until then. Because of my new pacemaker I was not allowed to lift my left arm above shoulder level for 30 days following its placement, so washing my own hair and fixing it was out of the question for me. My husband helped me in the shower until I could manage on my own, but he took me to my hairdresser for a wash and blowout every four (or was it 5?) days. That was a huge help and at the same time made me feel rather pampered, which was great that first month after I got home. As for a special post op bra, I never felt the need for one. I have some very stretchy pull on bras and some others that are back hook but wireless and I felt comfortable in those. I’m neither big nor small in the chest and I was actually glad to wear some support after 9 days of not wearing anything but a hospital gown. Your hospital stay should be much shorter, though. Mine was only that long because I kept drawing all the short straws with my post surgery complications lol. If you feel it is appropriate, don’t be afraid to let friends and neighbors know of your situation. I thought about posting to my neighborhood FB page about my surgery but ended up not doing so, and I regret it. Many of them expressed how sorry they were that they didn’t know so they could have come by with a meal, etc. Several of them got together and brought me flowers when they found out, even though it was probably 6 months later! It was such a sweet gesture and I felt bad that I hadn’t let them know sooner. I do have good neighbors!

Deirdre, I can’t express enough how much your words of encouragement mean. I am counting down the days. My pre op is on 10/1/26, and then the surgery on 10/12. I am praying for a successful surgery and smooth recovery. The thought of having my heart stopped is overwhelming. I just want to get through this and get on with life.🩷

I am sooo glad I can be any help! I was somewhat fortunate in the waiting part, since my surgery was right after the first of the year. The holidays kept me quite busy, so that was a big help. Actually , when we were setting the date with the surgeon he told me the earliest date he could operate was December 18, which would have meant I would be hospitalized for that week leading up to Christmas. I not only didn’t want to make my family spend that last week before Christmas worrying about me and feeling they had drop other activities to visit me, but Dec. 18th happens to be the date my mother passed away in 1970, when I was 19 and in college. I just couldn’t imagine going under the knife on that date, and both my sister and daughter were saying HELL no, pick another date 😂 I don’t remember being nervous about my heart being stopped during the surgery. Maybe I should have, lol. It just didn’t occur to me that they would have any trouble starting it again. What I didn’t know until afterwards is that the heart starts back up fine, but lungs, once they are stopped, are lazy and reluctant to work again after getting a rest. Not an exact quote, but those were basically the doctor’s words. And I found that to be true. It was work to breathe as deeply as I could as I tried to increase my lung capacity. You may have that part a little easier since you are quite a bit younger than I am. It’s not painful, just sort of annoying and tiring, but it beats the alternative which is decreased lung capacity, stamina, and less oxygen delivered all over including the brain. We can’t have that! I don’t know about you, but my brain needs all the help it can get!😜 Honestly, your youth will definitely work in your favor as well as the fact you appear to be in good shape. Keep yourself as busy as possible (sorry if that sounds like a cliche’) and you’ll do great! Dang, I wish I lived closer, I’d come take you to lunch!

Deidre, That makes a lot of sense about the lungs. I am sorry that you lost your mom at such a young age. Both of my parents have past on, so it’s just my husband and 2 girls that will be handling my needs post op. I wish you lived closer as well! I think we could become good friends. Even though we are at a distance, I still value your friendship and words of encouragement. 10/12 can’t come soon enough!🩷