Michele's Journal

I was surprised to come across this site, because , actually, Ive never known anyone else to have experienced anything close to my journey, into the world of heart disease , open heart surgery, Mitral Valve replacement, and learning to live with all of it... " Wow " would be a MAJOR understatement..!! Which in all reality is mind boggling because Heart Disease kills more people , every year, than all the cancers combined . For women , they call it " The Silent Killer ." And , yes , it is properly named... Of course, I, like everyone else, had heard of Heart Disease, but never gave it too much thought.. Then, in July, of 2011 , that all changed , in the time it takes to take one breath... LITERALLY.... I had noticed , in the 4 to 6 weeks, prior to July 29, 2011, that I had started on this uncontrollable weight gain, even though my diet hadn't changed too much.. Ive never been a real cakes or cookies kind of person, so it was tripping me out, Ive always been on the smaller side of the scale.. My heaviest weight was 143 lbs, and 8 months pregnant.. So, my normal weight ran between 110 to 137 lbs , over the years.. I weighed 135 lbs when I really started noticing something was off.. I started gaining about 1 pound , a day, or over the course of several days , 1 to 3 lbs. It caught my attention when I hit 143 lbs, and then a few days later, I was 147 lbs, then a few days later, 150 lbs.. WHAAT ??? This went on for a while , and I wasn't sure what to think.. I thought of going to the Doctor, but really wasn't sure what my problem was.. Oh Gee, I'm getting fat ?? Or, what ? The only other thing Id noticed was that I just didn't feel quite right.. I had some , ( very little ) swelling in my ankles, but , heck, I was gaining weight, after all. . So, still, I wasn't sure what to tell them if I did make an appointment. So, I let it slide... Then one morning, I woke up, and while I was still in bed, realized that my neck was REALLY swollen, on both sides, , but I didn't have a sore throat.. I had gone for a womens check the week before, and my weight had now hit 160 lbs !.. So, with my neck swollen up, I went into the clinic, and in exactly one week, from one Friday, to the next, Id gained ANOTHER 9 lbs . .. 9 as in N I N E !! I now weighed 169 lbs.. Holy Crap !!! And, I'm pretty short to the ground, so now I was nearly as wide , as I am tall.. No kidding.. Well, with this clinic, being exactly that, a clinic, it didn't do any good for my problem.. NOR, did ANY of them comment , OR THINK that this major weight gain was anything unusual.. ( REALLY ???) So, the Doctor ( a Physicians Assisitant , actually ) came in ,( with an attitude, ) and told me to open my mouth, say Aah, shined a light up my nose, and then prescribed me some frickin Amoxicillin.. Amoxicillin ?? Really ? As far as antibiotics goes, that , to me , was like peeing on corn flakes.. As in , WHY bother ? The doctor did say, on way out the door, oh yeah, they may cause diarrhea...... Oh that's just dandy.. Needless to say , I was really irritated.. .. And just like she was forseeing the future, yep.. within a few days, I had diarrhea.. I had come home , and gone to bed early , because I just wasn't feeling quite right, and an hour later, my husband had come in and gone to bed... . I got up to go use the bathroom, and I realized, I really need to use my Inhaler. then , instantly, I had that thought again.. I REALLY need to use my Inhaler.. By the time I had that thought , for the 3rd time, I threw my self on my husband , telling him, " Rick, help me, I cant breathe ". By the time he got me my inhaler, which was just a few seconds, I couldn't take a breath in.. The last thing Id told him was " Rick, can you hold me, because I cant stand up ? " , and died in his arms... Literally..(. By sheer luck, and The Grace of God, I lived less than 2 minutes from the fire station, which was out in a secluded area out of town) They were able to revive me, and I was admitted to the hospital.. ( And , of course, I STILL had diarrhea !!! ) Oh double joy !! Ummm, I KNEW those antibiotics were NOT going to fix my problem ! About 36 hours later, after 2 echocardiograms, and many other tests, the Cardiologist on duty, came in to tell me that I needed Immediate open heart surgery, to REPLACE my Mitral valve, and , basically, that was my ONLY option.. I'm not an organ donor, NOR will I accept blood transfusions, or blood, in ANY form, and as he was standing there talking to me , and asking questions, he noticed that I had a " NO Blood " wristband on.. He had picked up my wrist , and his exact words were " whats up with the no blood ? " ( Well, he had pressed on my hand and wrist , so I thought he was talking about slow blood return to my hand and wrist ! )( So , I said , heck , I don't know , you tell me .! ) THEN , I realized what he was talking about ! (like , duh , ) Well, needless to say, that threw him into a unhappy state of being.. He told me he came into my room, all prepared to do an open heart surgery, and he had the entire surgical team standing by, and now , this changed everything.. I told him I was willing to donate my own blood, and he looked at me , dead in the eye, and told me " look , Michele , you just don't get it.. It will take a week or more to regenerate that much blood , and you DONT HAVE THAT LONG.. " and, I needed all the blood I had to keep me alive.. SAY WHAT ?? I DONT have that long ?? He then told me , that I needed the MOST major , of ALL the open heart surgeries, and that basically, I couldn't even leave the hospital.. ( of course, I do..) Lets just do something in a BIG way, right ? He then told me, he would see what he could do about my dilemma. (WOW) That dilemma being that I now needed emergency , BLOODLESS, open heart surgery, to replace my Mitral valve.. There are only a few surgeons that perform bloodless open heart surgery, and he said he had a few doctors on his phone a friend doctors list, and he would make some calls . to see what could be done. And , yep, I'm totally tripping on all of this.. He came back in the next day, and , he had an excellent surgeon, at St. Josephs Medical Centers Cardiac and Thoracic Surgery Center, in Tacoma, Washington, and that he was willing to take me as a patient. In the bloodless open heart surgery program...Wow. I had my surgery on August 24, 2011 to replace my Mitral Valve with a mechanical Mitral valve.. (The other option was to have a pig valve , and , heck..NOT in this life time ! I don't even want people parts or blood, so , nope, that's not happening. ) I had never even heard of any thing as mechanical heart parts and stuff, so now, I kind of think of myself like the bionic woman ! It has been a long road from then , to now. To say the least. I'm doing good with my bionic parts! It take a lot to get used to... The thing that blew my mind is now, I click , (like the second hand of a clock), only faster.. A clock is 60 per minute, and the human heartbeat is 60 to 100 beats per minute. The very first time I heard it, pretty much freaked me out. I was in the bathroom , had just sat down to pee, and still not being able to use my arms at this time , I had brought my hand up to the bridge of my nose , to rub out tension, and in doing so , I had opened my mouth. And .. click click click. Coming out of my open mouth! My eyes flew open, instantly stopped peeing, mouth slammed shut, and I looked around , like , some clock person was in there with me ! ( True story ! ) then, slowly, I opened my mouth again, and click click click.. Slammed mouth shut again.. OMG ! What do I do now ? Well , how about , pee, for starters.. omg, omg, omg. It scared me, but I realized a few hours later, that me and my new clicking talent, weren't ever going to be away from each other.. Where I go, It goes.. So then, Id start to listen for it, as a way to calm myself down. AS an assurance that all is going ok... But , before that, the moral to the story, for me, was " Pee with your mouth closed ! " Ive adjust to living with the constant INR blood checks , Ive learned what foods to do moderately, etc... I still cant use my right arm as freely as before surgery, but the only thing I cant do with it , is when trying to shave under my arm, I cant lift it as high over my head as I can with my left arm.. The back side of ribcage is still quite delicate, even after 5 years.. It doesn't hurt , at all, its just the most sensitive spot on my body now.. Both left and right sides.. Besides, of course, the incision scar that runs from my throat down to about an inch above the belly button. That is the thing that I had the hardest time with, mentally . For the first , almost a full year, I couldn't touch it. Just the feel of it, on my fingers, wigged me out. Let alone how it felt when I touched It.. It would tingle nerves under the right side of my breast, and it felt like when breast milk drops, that tingling bee sting all over at once, type of thing. whenever I touched my incision scar.. So.. I Don't touch my scar ! Some days are better than others.. In all areas.. I still get short of breath, at times. Others, I'm good to go.. I was really lucky that when all the testing had to be done, I didn't have any High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol , Or Diabetes.. They were pretty much surprised also. So , I must have been doing something right , all these years.. At time of surgery , I was 51 years old, and a smoker.. I'm now 56, ( ok.. I will be 56 , tomorrow ) and , yep.. I'm still a smoker.. I have cut back some, but as of yet, I have not quit completely.. (Yeah, Yeah, yeah, I already know..) But , I also have Atrial Fibrillation....It doesn't give me too much hassles, but every once in a while , I notice it there. To all of you , who have surgery coming up, PLEASE know, its all going to be ok.. Believe it or not.. You may not think so , when those nurses, who so cheerfully come marching into your room , right after surgery, and say Hello, lets get up and walk ! And, they even have THE NERVE to smile and be nice WHILE they say it ! I have NEVER wanted to have an arm to throw something , ANY thing, at their oh so competent , happily , determined to get you up, and walking, with the sheer grit of drill sergeants, smiling faces. Yep.. even after that, please know, it will ALL be ok. Youre not going to be Jane Or Tarzan, by any means, anytime soon, but each day gets better.. Some times there are setbacks, and sometime are for growth.. I had to learn, and accept , the NEW normal, for me.. And, at the end of the day I'm OK with that new normal.. Because. when all is said and done, that new normal allows me to have each NEW day of life... And , Lastly....... NEVER DOUBT your faith, or your beliefs.. As in EVER... For me, It is God ... And , He was right there, with me , and every member of the Medical Profession, And every one of the GIFTED surgeons, and , not one single time, NOT ONCE, did I remember to be scared.... AND, that says a lot from someone , (who, mind you ) t(the entire time, from the very moment this began , in my bedroom, with that lovely diarrhea , and not being able to take a breath,) from that very moment, until my release from hospital, (with my brand new clicker and bionic parts, ) couldn't get the SMURF SONG out of my head. OMG !! I'm not kidding ! The Smurf song. and the Mackenzie Brothers, from Canada, Bob and Doug Mackenzies song, "The great white hope" da du da da dada, remix with the Smurf Song. mixed together, NEVER left my brain.. ( Maybe, God just knew, THATS what I could handle at the time !!! ) And , looking back, I'm even grateful for that catchy little tune... GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE OF YOU that is having surgery, And, to everyone else on this site, hello.. happy to meet you all.... Have a Great Day, Everyone... !