About Me (In My Own Words)
3 years ago my husband contracted endocarditis (we worked out it was from his job - grounds maintenance - he had left garden rubbish in his van and ingested the spores which went straight to his heart) It was a stressful time as we had been told by our GP that he simply had a cold.
We ended up in the emergency room - I thought he had meningitis- where the infections were detected. Two and a half months later he came home (we got married in the middle of all this too). Clear of endocarditis but some serious damage had been done, pretty much all the aortic aspect of the heart was damaged and therefore had to be replaced and/or repaired including a mechanical valve. 12 months later he had the surgery. He was on the table for ten and a half hours and ICU for 3 days. But being a tough old boot, he was home within 7 days of surgery; with an infection - he got through Christmas Day but was back in hospital in Boxing Day. He had an infection around the heart which was treated and home properly two weeks later.
We had the delights of trying not to cough, sneeze or hiccup for several weeks. But for my husband (Chris) the worst was the ache between his shoulder blades and neck - being on the table for so long with his shoulder blades tucked under him caused a lot of discomfort but staying positive, as he does, he said at least it detracted from the chest discomfort!
He managed the physical pain fabulously! But, the rage which followed was horrendous. Nobody talks about how these life changing situations affect the person’s emotional and mental state.
Chris went from being physically fit, working hard and enjoying his motorbikes (the motocross had already given way to endurance) and happy, but after the surgery all these things had been stripped away, leaving a desolate and emasculated man!
He had to retire from his job due to the high risk of further infection and the strenuous nature (tree surgeon as well as grounds maintenance) and was left bereft, almost, of a life not lived (this began when he was 52 years old). The anger, hurt, frustration was almost unbearable. It created terrible arguments as I had become the breadwinner and was working my socks off the make up the difference in income and he felt (and I quote) ‘a burden’.
Please don’t worry we’re still together, and our marriage is stronger than ever partly because of all this.
When not arguing, we talked, really talked. I had to learn to really listen and understand where Chris was coming from - not easy as I was just happy he had survived. But physical survival and emotional/mental survival are two different things. We worked hard and still are but we now work together, not literally, but working together to be happy again.
We’re now looking at more surgery - mitral valve replacement and tricuspid repair. I know it’s going to be hard but at least I know what to expect this time around. And we bought a 1979 VW campervan which we will travel around in next summer (something for us to look forward to).
I’m telling our story for anyone else going through this. You are not alone (even though it feels as if you are). Things will get better (even though they feel they won’t). One step at a time, one day at a time and slowly things start to improve. Patience, it will come. Xxx
More Info About Me & My Heart
More About Me
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I am from:
Staffordshire Moorlands , United Kingdom
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My surgery date is:
December 13, 2016
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My surgery was:
Mitral Valve Replacement
Tricuspid Valve Repair
