It was about a year ago that I learned Lori was gone. I don't remember what sparked my memory toward the Barta family today, but I re-read this journal and cried through it again. It will never be fair or right. Know that I send my strongest loving thoughts even today. Julie Powers
Hey Lori, I still think of you often, and still really miss your part of my life. I posted this on your Facebook page which so much of us still check regularly, but I wanted this to be part of this journal as well - since to so many of us you will always be real, and you will last forever:
“What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
― Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real
Hi Lori,, it came to me now that in a few weeks it will be one year August 13th,2010 that you went into surgery..I never knew that it could hurt so much and what an impact you have made in our family..we still cry and it feels better somehow..where did you go..where did you go..we used to email and talk and i miss all the information that you used to send..you were very special in our lives..thank you for all the thoughtful gifts over the years.. I still remember your wedding day and you in that beautiful dress.and the times you and Adam dated..funny stories..and the engagement party we Dad and I went to and all your friends and neightbours sharing their thoughts and love for you.. Gone much too soon..you loved your children so much..so much...Hugs and kisses.. Ellie
Hi Lori, by this time you are in heaven,,we were at the cemetary and saw the beautiful granit stone and the bench with two hearts..we will miss you on your trip to Collingwood this summer.. last summer you were discussing your surgery on the beach and I am glad I gave you a few extra hugs..Adam and I send you always,,,love and kisses and we miss you now
I am so sorry for the loss of Lori. We had lost touch after she moved from Houston to Austin and it's been years since we spoke, but she was truly a wonderful person who I'm so happy to have had the privilege to know and spend time with. I only learned of her passing from seeing her name on the "Roll Call for the Absent" list at Aggie Muster. It was a huge shock! I am in tears. Despite the years... she will be truly missed by me. All who knew her were truly blessed to have had the privilege. Thoughts and prayers go out to her family.
My sincere condolences to the Barta family. I just learned of this terrible loss from Elie in Toronto, and I am deeply sadened by it. May G-d give you strength and courage to get through this difficult time. Michelle Schipper
Dear Adam and family
Don't know if you're still accessing this site. but wanted you to know I continue to keep you in my prayers as you struggle with the death of Lori. All of us here on the HVJ never met Lori but we bonded with her as she prepared for her surgery. We certainly followed your heartbreak after her surgery as she declined. God be with you.
A generous contribution has been made to the Oncology Research Fund in Memory of our Beloved Lori by Elaine and Sheldon Lang of Cote St.Luc,Que. Business Associates of your Dad of Utex in Montreal,Que.
I was so saddened to hear about the death of your wife. I cannot imagine what you and your family have been through the last few months. Please know that you are in my prayers. Marla Brooks (TMB)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
I'm so sorry for your loss of Lori. I sit hear with tears in my eyes, just thinking about the pain that you are going through. Just take it day by day and God will give you the strength to do what you need to do.
I am so sorry for the loss of Lori. I was the first hire at DSACT as an Administrative Assisant and absolutely loved working with Lori! I hit the ground running as Lori had many things to accomplish for DSACT. Her compassion, positive attitude, wisdom and laughter were incredibly contagious and I looked forward to coming to work every morning to work for her and DSACT.
I was so impressed when I first interviewed with Lori as she had little Sara in her arms and I could see her love bubbling over. I remember when she made curtains for Hannah overnight because the sun was in her eyes and how proud she was of Emma for helping her sisters.
We went to lunch one day and she told me how happy she was being married and being a mother. Lori was my mentor and I considered her a friend. We also shared the same faith and although we do not understand God's plans for us, we must trust Him as he loves us more than we can fathom. She truly made a difference in all the lives she touched and we will forever miss her.
Adam and family, I am so sorry for the loss of Lori. I am thankful I had the opportunity to photograph your family over Memorial Day and get to know your family a little better. Lori's laugh was infectious that day and I loved all her colorful ideas for the kids during the shoot. She really was a great lady and will be missed dearly.
Ellie Mom in law married to Adam's Dad and Bubbie to the girls.. We always opened our home to Lori and Adam and girls.. over the 10 years they new each other and we loved the fun and laughter we had combining our families...Lori, on her first trip to Canada, took me aside and said I always thought that there were igloos up here and lots of snow year round.. and since our city Toronto is very much like Chicago..we had a Golden Mile also in the name of Bloor St., we laughed and laughed..Lori was so impressed on that first
trip to Canada..we had many trips since back aand forth..we caught up on clothes,perfumes mmakeup and jewellery.. Lori love going out ffor dinner and dressing and she always looked beautiful and chic...loved dancing, loved her strawberry martinis..loved singing and of course laughing.. At home making snacks for the girls.. going to playgrounds, making sure that the girls, went to water areas,as they loved to swim and splash..and biking et. Lori was an avid reader between 11:00pm and 3:00am.. she most of her work on the computer for DSAC and emailed friends and colleagues..Lori loved parties and when ther was an occasion Lori would organize a party..That is how Dad and I see and remember Lori always doing things.and there always excitement...Lori was an amazing young woman..and indelable creature she crawled into our Hearts in way we could never forget..and we miss you still. Love and blessing, Ellie and Adam Sr
Adam, we met years ago when you and Lori were dating and then engaged (one of Lori's friends). I am so sorry for your loss. I am a wife and mom of 2 and know the millions of things that one worries about for your children and your husband should you not be there to "handle things." I am a woman of faith and believe that God doesn't make mistakes, just masterpieces. Keep your faith and trust in God. All will be revealed in due time.
Lori Nines (Austin, TX)
I just got out of the hospital and just read about your wife Lori,the last i read your journal Adam things seemed to be going better for Lori. i just wanted you and your family to know that she has so much love surrounding her and she will take that with her and will always be with you and the children. may you and the children have strength and peace, Sending Love and light to you and the family through this very difficult time.
peggie k and my husband Michael k.
Although I never knew your wife, I am truly sorry for the loss to you, your beautiful daughters, and your family. She obviously touched and changed the lives of many, and will continue to do so. May God continue to give you strength during this difficult time.
Prayers with you,
Ursulla Courtney (UVA family medicine residency graduate, was an intern when you were a third year)
In Memory of a Sweet yet Energetic Young Lady
Praying Peace and Comfort to your Husband, Adorable Daughters, family and friends.
As many hearts are broken and tears are being shed,
I can see you driving thru the streets of Heaven in your Blue Mustang just smiling and laughing along the way
Adam - We are with you in spirit on this very difficult day. May God's love surround you now and forever. Our prayers and love are with you today and Lori will forever be in our hearts. She left a wonderful legacy of love which will live on through you and the girls. Love Carol and Ian
Adam and family... I am very sad to hear of Lori's passing. Although I did not know her personally, having a child with Down syndrome led me to know her a little bit through our local Ds Guild. It's obvious she touched many, many lives, and was a wonderful advocate for our children. I pray God will give you and your children strength in the coming weeks and months and that her legacy will live on forever.
Adam, It's so hard to accept that we are saying goodbye today to one of the brightest lights this world will ever know. I have never seen anyone work for the good of others as fervently as I saw Lori work, and her legacy of passion and good deeds will leave behind more bettered and uplifted lives than we may ever count. No one will ever be able to fill her shoes, but I am one of the many, many people who was so blessed that she walked in them for the short time that she did. I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry she wasn't allowed to shine in our lives a little while longer. She will be more deeply missed than words can say.
I am so saddened by the news of Lori's passing. She was one of my best friends, and my neighbor, from our days at UT Law School. I will always remember her smile, her determined work ethic, her desire to include and befriend as many people as time would allow. That same spirit lead to her career and her family life, raising three young girls and as a dedicated volunteer. Adam, please know that she will be dearly missed by us all.
It hurts so much to have heard the news about Lori. I am so very sorry for your loss. Lori was such an inspiration to me in everything she was about. I will never forget her amazing outlook on life and dedication to everything she was involved in. I had a conversation with her one time about how in choosing a career you also want to take into account time with your family and volunteering. With Lori's positive and admirable personality she said "Who said you can't do it all." Well, she truly did. Her ability to lead a successful career along with raising three beautiful girls and actively volunteering was truly inspirational. I know I am just one of the many people Lori has touched. I am so thankful for the opportunity I had to know her. She will always be missed by everyone she knew. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers and that I want to help with whatever I can. As soon as I come back into town this weekend, I will be available every evening and weekend you need. I would love to see the girls even if it's to take them out to spend time with them. May God be with you all and help you stay strong through this very difficult time.
My family is praying for you all during this time of great loss. Lori will always be loved and missed, we have to keep our faith in knowing that she is with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May God look over her children and help them understand this targedy.
Dear Adam & girls,
Lori's smile lit up the halls of Doss. My son, Henry, is Emma's age and Lori and I had talked about how we were both attorneys. What we could have never guessed we would have in common is that Dr. Dewan was my oldest daughter's surgeon when she was just three weeks and three months old. I've handed my little girl over again and again to the surgeons for heart problems and she is still just turned eleven. There are no words to know the pain of doing this as a parent and now as a husband. Many, many prayers are with you, from so many you don't even know! love, Kristi Chibib
Although I did not have the pleasure of knowing Lori-I find myself sobbing again today after reading these hear-felt and inspiring posts-what a world it would be if there were more people like Lori in it! I am only a few years younger (33) than Lori and went through Mitral valve repair surgery just 12 weeks ago...this really hit home to me :( God's richest blessings to her family and friends-I am so very sorry for your loss.
Dear Adam & family,
My children went to St.Pius & I worked there when Lori attended school there. Upon learning of her surgery I read her journal & was not surprised at all of her accomplishments over the years. I remember Lori as a sweet girl with a beautiful smile on her face at all times. Looking at her pictures just brought to mind of her bubbly personality & her loveliness. I am so very sorry for your loss & will keep all of you in my prayers.
May God bless & grant you peace.
This is Joshua Lewis' mom. We are so sorry to learn of your tremendous loss.
I had discussed a play date with you and Joshua in March (after Joshua's birthday party) but we all get to so busy and we just didn't connect - now I know why your mom was so busy.
Please -- Adam, let us know if Emma would like to come to our home after school on some days -- I can help make sure they all do their homework and relax (Joshua has a twin, Helena, in 2nd grade, too).
We hope your family finds peace soon.
The Lewis Family
Joshua (2nd grade), Helena (2nd grade), Benjamin (4 year old), Liza (mom - UT lecturer), and William (Internist at the ADC).
PLEASE LET US HELP -- EMMA is a special friend to Joshua since Kindergarten.
Thank you Lori for being Light and Love in action during your too brief time on this earth. As the mother of a 9-year-old son with Down syndrome, I am so grateful for all you did to make the world better for your Hannah and my Bryan and countless others blessed with those extra love genes/21st chromosomes. My family and I are blessed and honored to have known you and we ache over your passing.
I treasure a conversation you and I had over breakfast a couple of years ago about the deeply spiritual aspects of mothering a child with Down syndrome and how they touch and transform our world in so many wonderful ways, especially spiritually. A vision I hold onto now that brings me some comfort is seeing you "on the other side" radiating brilliant pink light (representing Mother love) and gloriously surrounded by countless children enfolding them in your infinite embrace. What a heavenly advocate we now have!
Adam, Emma, Hannah and Sarah: my deepest sympathy to you in facing this unimaginable grief and loss. You remain in our thoughts and prayers. Your precious Lori/Mom is dancing with the angels and her Light and Love lives on in each of you and in her magnificient legacy of good work on this earth. May you feel her loving presence now and always.
Love and blessings,
DSACT member; past board member
Lori was an amazing person and a true inspiration to me. She was always willing to help me with ideas, articles and suggestions as I tried to build a new DS group here in southeast Houston. She will be greatly missed as a colleague, a friend and a generous and giving heart.
I am so very sorry to hear of your passing. Actually, I feel sick to my stomach and I don't even know you. My heart goes out to your children, May GOD Almighty cover them in HIS protection for all the days of their lives, May HE bring them peace in this time of sorrow, May HE enter you into HIS Kingdom with full grace and mercy and may you know that there is someone here on earth who will pray for your soul on this day. I too, must face this beast, soon I'm told, and still I believe that miracles are possible.
Having watched the struggle of my great grandson after being born 3 months early, I can share in the hopes and prayers I know are in your heart. I'm sure Lori was a very real blessing to you. You and your family will be in my prayers as you cope with life without her.
My heart goes out to Lori's family! My 18 yr. old Son had a mechanical Aortic valve put in last November, because he has Bicuspic Aortic Valve and it was leaking severely. I just don't understand what went wrong with Lori's surgery. Please keep writing in the Journal when you feel up to it Adam, and explain what went wrong. She was such a beautiful (inside & out), lady, that this story stuns me!
My healing heart aches for you and your daughters. It is so unfair. I am an old woman who has seen her daughters grow into beautiful women. All I can give you are my tears and my humble prayers.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. We remember and cherish all the times our family spent with Lori & her family at St. Charles & St. Pius. Thank you for the Journal entries. Dennis and Barbara Storemski
I wept reading your tragic story and looking at the pictures of your beautiful wife and family. Then I went to hug my loved ones and thank God that I survived my surgery for mitral valve reguritation. It is all we can do when faced with such a devastating story of how fragile life is. My deepest sympathies for your loss. Her love for life, and for her life with you and the girls shone through her journal we were privileged to share, and we all feel her loss. We pray for your peace.
Theresa, VA (but a Texan born and bred)
My sincerest condolences to your family. My wife had the Ross procedure done a little over a year ago. We're the same age as your wife, and we have 2 little ones as you. I truly pray for your family for strength with your loss. Aloha, Dennis and Rose
To Lori's Family:
I am so sorry for your loss. I had the pleasure of meeting Lori at the DownsEd conference in Newport Beach in 11/09. She was an inspiration to me as a mom & advocate & I will not forget the advice she gave me. My thoughts & prayers go out to all of you at this time. May she rest in peace.
Gina Mitchner, Cleveland, Ohio
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have been following Lori's journal since she started it and have been thinking and praying for all of you. May you have strength during this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you
Standing at the pool that cold January night waiting for the fire department to arrive, we suddenly felt some arms around our shoulders: It was Lori repeatedly saying >oh no, oh no<, tears running down her cheeks. Today it us saying >oh no, oh no<, tears flowing again. We would gladly give up our new house if that would bring Lori back to you and the children.
We will never forget her spontaneous and thoughtful help, and we hope you count on us and give us the opportunity to give back to you and the children in the years ahead.
We have no words to express our sadness.
Cassie sends her love to Emma!
Tom and Helga
I had the privilege of getting to know your sweet Emma while I volunteered in her first class last year. How I wish I had come to know Lori as well. Our children will be together again in second grade, and I would be happy to help with Emma in any way that you need. You all are in our family's thoughts and prayers.