claire's Journal

So i forgot to share this little story with you all. While i was in the hospital i was talking to my sister saying im not sure i would be able to wear a normal bra for a while. As we were talking the nurse walked in and i asked her if she could recommend a good bra. She stood there for a while and then answered \" ummm i dont think you should be drinking alcohol anytime soon\" she thought i had said bar not bra!

So for all you non british people who might not have heard that saying before a fortnight is 2 weeks :) so its been that long since my surgery and im doing well i think. Im getting out and about - had a quick visit to the local mall - retail therapy cures all! Girlie things like going to the salon and getting a blow out and my nails done did wonders. I opted for a mechanical valve so twice weekly visits to the anti- coagulant clinic right now. Not sure if the clicking is going to drive me mad - i dont think so as others have said you know its working if you can hear it! All in all im feeling and doing much better than i anticipated but soooo glad its all behind me now.

Well the day started off badly, i felt depressed, my lungs hurt and i was thinking why did i have this done - then i remembered i had no choice! After having visits from my family a bunch of tubes, clips and wires removed did i feel better - even took a shower. Beginning to feel real again - to feel human. Im on percocet so off the morphine which my family said they preferred me on as i was entertaining them with my funny outbursts - rather be aware of what i saying :) i would say to all you guys still waiting that its not as scary as you think once you are in the throw of things it goes quite quickly just do as you are told! Im not sure when i will be heading home just this little breathing problem to make sure has corrected itself then i can enjoy my new home and put this all behind me.

Dear friends, Surgery was successful, the valve replaced and working well. Finally coming down from my morphine high. I have a little problem with my breathing but its not serious. Just moved out of the ICU, back to jazzercize tomorrow:) Thank you for all your kind words and support during this journey. Good luck to all of you who are awaiting your surgeries. My thoughts are with you all. Claire

Well it kind of has. I had my angiogram earlier today and eerything looks great artery wise - clean as whistle. I had a valium which was awesome but unfortunately thats wearing off now :( have had something to eat and eating some chocolate as i type lol. I will stay in hospital overnight and have been promised something to help me sleep we will see if that works! This past weekend was horrible i was a mess just couldnt stop crying but now im here i am quite calm and greatful we have started the process so i can move on. Now to the main event. I am scheduled to go down first thing (6.00am) great all the surgical team will be full of coffee and alert i hope :) speak later my friends

So its one week before my surgery. I\'m nesting at home getting ready for whats to come. It still seems a little surreal - im not in denial but i feel a little like im in someone elses dream or nightmare however you want to look at it. I worked out today but thats getting harder - i may go one more time before next week - it makes me feel normal :) I have had such care and concern shown to me and i hope that my family are supported through this. I have heard good things about my surgeon Dr Jeff Swanson at St Vincents in portland - anybody else operated on by him?

So yesterday i had the letter from my insurance company to say that my valve replacement surgery\'s been approved. It was a bit of a shock really to see it written in black and white. I also had an appointment with my cardiologist to go over a few things and talk about the procedure. I have concerns about the noise of a mechanical valve and would like to know what others think. Have been having a joke with my girlfriends about having a tattoo afterwards to camouflage my \"zipper\" and people have been quite inventive!

So yesterday the news finally hit me. Id been to a lovely holiday lunch then visited with my daughter and on the drive home realized my life is about to change forever - it will never be the same again. The anxiety of major surgery and all that goes with that side swiped me big time. I am also struggling with the knowledge that im not going to be the only one to experience this, I feel especially sad when i think of my parents back in the UK and how it hard it will be for them. So, even though i bawled like a baby and i hate crying - i dont do it well, i feel a lot calmer today.

Ive never written a journal or a blog before - Im a private person really. This is a whole different ball game and now feel I want to keep talking about the upcoming surgery - it seems easier to deal with talking out loud instead of inside my head. Surgery is scheduled for Jan 31st 2012 and it all seems a little surreal at the moment. Im hoping there are people that are out there can share their experiences good and bad as knowledge is power.