Wow! I can't believe it has almost been 2 years since my surgery. Recovery was a lot easier than I expected. I experienced very little pain and I asked them to stop giving me pain meds right out of ICU. The initial far of going through the surgery is honestly the worst part. I have my annual cardiologist appointment on June 11th and I have to explain t the Dr. that I don't feel much different now than I did before. I still get tired very easily and I still get short of breath. One of my biggest regrets about my recovery was that I didn't take his advice ad do the cardiac rehab. I am hoping he will let me start now. I am hoping my lack of energy is because I haven't pushed myself and my body is just used to feeling this way. I also still get panic attacks which feel like heart attacks and I always feel like something is wrong with my heart. I always worry that he will tell me the pulmonary artery they gave me isn't working and that's why I feel this way. Here's to hoping for a good outcome at the Dr!
I have 58 days until my surgery and I am becoming more nervous by the minute. I have a LOT of stuff going on right now so it is keeping me busy. I work all of the time, my sister is coming home from LSU for spring break, I have a trip planned to go visit my dad in San Diego, I am moving into a new apartment and I am taking my little sister to New Orleans for her 21st birthday a few days before the surgery. I am trying not to think about how in less that 8 weeks, I will become totally helpless and will be depending solely on my family and friends. That scares me SO much. And, I know it sounds dumb to some, but the thought of not being able to see Sophie (my puppy) for weeks makes me extremely sad already. I am hoping that having an avenue like this to express my feelings helps with my nerves. I'm not as nervous about the pain after as I am the fear of not waking up from surgery, If I actually make it through, I think I can handle the rest. I will be out of work for 2 months so the financial aspect of it all is a burden, too. Can someone remind me to breathe?????