Cheryl, I am so sorry that you are facing a lot of this without help. My Mom gets so anxious and then obsessed that we had to wait until day of surgery to let her know. Since then it has been a challenge to keep her at arms length because her unreasonable fears are draining. Some insurance helps with home health care. I am sure you have checked but they definitely don't "advertise" those options so if you haven't, please check.
You are obviously a strong, capable person to have managed all this so far. I have you in my thoughts and prayers that you will be safe and your recovery swift.