More good news from your corner. Progress is good to hear and I'm sure it's giving you more confidence in your health. I can see where doing the nails would tire you out some because you are using your arms all the time. It's very manual. You take it easy. Cheryl, Ontario
great to hear the progress amen : > ( im jumping for joy for u amen ) that is soooo wonderful to hear... u look really great and it was a wonderful time to see u again... just keep things at a slow pace, and u will get there girlie girl...glad to hear that u got out for a bit again... thats always fun to get fresh air and the blood pumping... well, take care and dont over due it... miss and love u tonz ... ka ap abbey kristina abernathy xoxo call me if u need ANYTHING n I'll b there, even if its just to take u to wallie world...eheheheh : >
You are sounding sooooo much better as you gain your strength back. If getting back to doing a little work, works for you then proceed with caution and enjoy socializing with your friends and clients once again. A happier you will make for a happer household so it works for everyone. Take care. Cheryl, Ontario
Gosh I feel like the worse friend ever!! I have been thinking about you SOOOO much, I am just SICK that you had to go through what you have gone through, if your going to be home this week-end, I am going to try my BEST, to come by and see you, I want to see you badly girl, trust me. Tell me what you need and I will get it for you. I love you more than you know, please don't forget that. I will see you soon!!!!Love ya Vickie
Glad to hear you got some actual SLEEP today. You must have been sleeping when I called and texted about coming over :). I continue to pray for your recovery and hope we can go to convention TOGETHER this year if you're up for it! See you soon. Dawn
Hope Wednesday's appointment is what you want--all is well and back to some work. You seem to the type of person who wants it all done "yesterday" as they say. So, please, don't want to read about relapses. I've learned that from all I've read, is slow and easy is the motto for.post op.Thanks for your encouragement. We leave Friday morning and have to be at the hospital at 8am Monday for a couple of days of testing before my surgery on the 18th. Between my husband and my daughters, they have promised to post updates. Thanks.
This is all about you and what you do or do not need to help you get stable and on your feet. Those wanting to join your ride will either stand beside you or behind you, not in front of you. As Fran said, we all react differently to the obstacles put in our way so only you would know why those surrounding you react the way they do. Try to avoid stress, be generous in your thoughts and don't bite off more than you can chew right now.
I encourage you to get out when you can and do what it is that makes you happy but all in moderation. Know when you need to rest your body and your mind.
Great pics by the way. Thanks for sharing. Cheryl, Ontario
Good Morning Michele
So sorry to read of your problems after such a good day. Sometimes people react differently when they're worried. Some people also show their worries in "poor me". Hope the xanax helps you thru the tough times. Since I've not had my surgery yet I can't speak from that view, but as a nurse, I can't help but think you might want to slow down a bit and rest more. Barbara T. seems to have the same energy level as you and she had some setbacks.
im am sooo soo very sorry to hear about u having to come home to all of that.. after having such a wonderful day and feeling better. it's sad but, true, but, its our loved ones that hurt us the most.. exceptually,when u do sooooo very much for everyone all the time. they tend to take it for granted..amen : > believe me, i sooo understand about being a woman, a care giver, and just loving ppl all the time, when in turn most of the time we dont get it back from those that we r closest too... amen.. but, when i c u thing coming wk, i promise to love on u as best as u will let me... lol.... but, do everyone a great big faovr and quit trying to do soooo much.. so u can get better soon. cuz- i hope that ur hubby doesnt take this in the wrong way.. but, hubbies can be the biggest babies of them all and most men, dont know how to act most least take care of their wives like they should or need to be loved during our time of need.. because, most of the time... its all about: memememeemmemee -lol-ehehehe... so, just take of michelle and get better for yourself.. and forget about everything else for now... God is in control and he will never leave u nor forsake u.. he is there healing u and to bring u much needed peace. so, just rest in his arms and let him take care of u... love u always- and cant wait to c u.. ur other cuz- ka : >
Sorry you had to go to the ER!! But I"m glad it was not anything serious! I'm going to text you this weekend and see if I can come see you sometime next week. I'd like to bring you dinner. I'll check with Lisa and see what the schedule looks like!
Praying for a quick recovery for you!!! God may be using this time of "quietness" in your life to draw you closer to Him, to teach you complete dependency on Him!! I think He's showing Himself to you in ways He's never shown Himself before!!!
I didn't get as far as the emergency room but I did make a couple of calls and after describing my symptoms, relaxed and went back to bed. You know you should err on the side of caution - better safe than sorry. I think most of us here have had to seek some sort of post-op intervention so you aren't alone. Lucky for you, it wasn't anything that needed medical treatment - just the use of good judgment - go home, rest and don't do quite as much just yet. You aren't ready. Our minds are ready but our bodies just aren't. Stick to getting out and having some exercise and chit chats for another week or so. You'll get there. Cheryl, Ontario
So sorry you had that setback after your surgery and had to go to the ER. I know how scary that is.
You sound a lot like me after I had my mitral valve surgery in Jan. After I'd been home for 2 weeks I had a really big day and did a lot of stuff because I felt so good. Made dinner for the family because I felt like it, did a bunch of things around the house, visited with friends in person and on the phone.
Well, guess what? A half hour after my last visitor left I had a major episode of dizziness, vertigo and nausea. I ended up with my husband driving me to the ER, but there was a brief period when I actually thought I was going to have to call the paramedics to take me to the hospital. I felt so awful I didn't know if I could make it there in the car.
It turned out that I had low potassium levels, was dehydrated and was also having irregular heartbeats. They sent me home after a couple of hours and told me to take it easy.
I've also had painful muscular spasms, mostly in my neck, shoulders, back and arms. It tends to be worse when I've been overdoing things.
We ladies know how to take care of everybody else, but when it's our turn it's hard to settle into the role of being taken care of by others. Michelle, let people wait on you and do things for you and enjoy being a lady of leisure for now (hard as that may be!)
You will learn how to pace yourself and your activities as you go along. It's a steady learning process!
Take care of yourself,Michelle, and feel better soon.
Good Morning Michelle
Don't ever be embarrassed to seek medical help (the ER). Better to check it out than not. Many people have died because they thought they were having indigestion, not chest pain. I guess the lesson of the day and days to come is EASY. The time will come when you can do all you want. I just have to remember all these things when my time comes.
Hi Michelle, This is Karen B. writing a quick note after reading your latest posting. I knew you would be doing too much, because you just don't know how to be any other way. Please don't even think about bringing your table home at this point. I think you did learn a valuable lesson. I have called your cell phone three times, but no answer. I'm sure everyone is sitting on you. I have been working for my sister, and I have talked to Vicki and Carma for their personal updates. I will schedule a meal to bring in the next three or four days, and I will E-mail Lisa. Hang in there champ. Love, Karen
I was thinking that was what you were talking about but not just sure. You use your arms a lot in your trade but then that is something you are used to doing so might not even phase you. Give it a try and see if it tires you out and make sure you take your pulse at the same time and see if you are within a decent zone. I wonder if the smell of the solutions would bother you at all? You won't know 'till you try. Good luck.
I'm really pleased you are making the effort to get out. It makes all the difference in the world to feel part of things again. Cheryl, Ontario
Your journal entry really touched me and hopefully, when you are well enough, you will be able to pass on to someone else, your feelings, thoughts and well wishes. Having been through this trial, you learn and are constantly learning and there will be someone out there who will benefit from your knowledge and insight.
What's a nail table? I work from my home and I figured if I could sit, type, answer the phone and stay awake for a period of time, surely I could work. I returned the week after I got home and never regretted it. I read a lot but I knew there were things not being done and it weighed on me so I made the decision I would work each day when I could, as long as I could. When I was tired I promised to nap and ignore the phone. I did just that and still do. I rarely nap during the day now, 5 months post-op, but if I don't sleep well the night before, and if I get really tired, or if I'm going out at night and know I'll be tired, I pack it up and NAP!
You have to be the judge of how physical you must be to do whatever it is you do. You can't just sleep but neither are you ready to be too physical. You can't just sit all the time because walking is part of your rehabilitation. If you can work it all in safely, do it.
As you feel better you do want to do more and your mental healing is very much a part of getting better. If you are going stircrazy at home, then do something as long as it's considered safe and much less physical than housework (leave that to the girls).
Talk to your doctor and see what he says. You are sounding ever so much better Michelle. I pray you have turned the corner. I'm really glad to see your friends pitching in too. Someday you will be able to return their kindness and know how much it was apprecaited. Enjoy your day as you make your plans. Healthy thoughts. Cheryl, Ontario
glad to hear that u r doing some what better. i know when the strongest one is down, its hard on everyone, expectually yourself... but, just dont push ur self to hard, cuz, thats not good for anyone either... i know how hard it is to do nothing, when we are the go-getters-in life. being wife, mom, friend, yes-self employed-ehehehe.. but, DONT PUSH IT okay.. yes, i cant wait to c u and be able to visit u again.. my email add is: firstname.lastname@example.org, 405-651-4391 cell.. yes, i agree w/ that person about anti-depressates for a bit, until u can get a grip on what ur body just went through, upon top of having to deal w/ everything else, (family, friends, work), believe me, that doesnt make u a weak person, it just helps to get through everything faster.. then when u feel all is going well or getting back to normal , then u can get off of them.. amen.. well, take care and rest in him... cuz, u body needs it.. cant wait to c u, just let me know when and if u would like for me to bring some food or drinks or snaks over.. okay.. love, hugs, and healing being poured out over u and peace over ur family.. ka
Hey Darling, How about Thursday? What is your food requirement these days? I will bring what ever you need to eat.
Going thru all of this really makes you know how important good health is, doesn't it. I always have taken it for granted! Wrong!
Every entry you are sounding better.
I looked up the definition of luxury and definitely pedicure was not listed. For the housebound and healing absolutely anything goes. A pedicure is a feel good necessity so I'm glad you took the initiative and did that for yourself. Get on the phone or e-mail and pull in some of those visits that are being offered. Get yourself back into the hub.
I loved that quote that Fran sent. I'm copying that off for myself. Thinking of you. Cheryl, Ontario
Good Morning Michelle
Seems people do care and want to help. Cheryl's long letter is full of sage advise from the heart. Messages this morning show people are willing to bring food and sit and talk with you. Let them do that. If you're like me you are a giver and it may be more difficult to "take". A very dear friend told me something that I have never forgotten and have passed on to others thru the years. Will put it in caps for emphasis. Read it 2x.
YOU CAN GIVE WITHOUT LOVING, BUT YOU CANNOT LOVE WITHOUT GIVING. Isn't that beautiful. This particular friend was having many problems and I was helpful, but when she wanted to reciprocate I didn't want her to put herself out and then she gave me this quote. Rest and continue to heal.
Girl- do i need to come sit on u, to keep u in bed- u goober head.. man, just the pedicure was enough work for any woman to endure for a day-ehehehehe.... if u, will email me ur address i will come over and c what i can do to help u out during the day, since, i am not working at this time cuz... u mean to tell me, that when ridding in the wheel chair , that u werent pulling a jimmy J/jeff gordon act.. racing through the isles...ehehehee... well, just let me know ur add and i'll come over to keep u company and hopefully make u laugh for a bit.. like the saying goes: cant keep a good woman down"...... lol much love, hugs, n healing and blessings be poured out over u... ka 651-4391
Good Morning Dear Friend, I wrote you a long note yesterday and sent it wrong. Sorry! Kathy and I want to bring dinner one evening. What night would be good and what can you eat? We are bringing BarBQ to your family. When you need to talk to someone, I am a good listener. You are going thru a life altering experience and it isn't easy. Love you, Katherine
My heart goes out to you today. Ideally it would be wonderful if your healing could take place in a calm and helpful environment. That's ideally. Realistically you live with three teenage daughters and I can only imagine what that can be like at times.
Do you have a very best friend or close family member who can talk to the girls and make them see how important it is for the next little while they get along and be as helpful to you and each other as possible? If there is conflict and you are hearing it and getting yourself worked up, you aren't healing mentally as well. I see Lisa in one of her journals was trying to arrange some dinners and hopefully that happened. If not, lay in some microwave or easy to prepare foods and you get yourself out for an evening or few hours during the day and let the girls fend for themselves for a bit.
If you have a best friend there, do you feel you could tell her how lonely you are and in need of some adult conversation? Sure you have to rest but not all the waking hours. You need to get out of the house, even for a decaf and a sandwich. If you have some friends close by who can get you, tell them your needs. If you get out for a bit and get tired, you'll be happy to rest when you get home.
As a mother of teenagers, you must have been able to tune the girls out. Get better at it. Get some books and read, lay down, listen to your music. Let the housework go. Let it all go for the next few weeks. If the girls need clean clothes let them do the laundry. Let the chaos happen. When you are better, you'll look after things then. Not a minute before.
If you are feeling this depressed perhaps it's time to talk to your doctor. Depression is not at all uncommon. Feeling sorry for yourself - you deserve to feel that way. This is one tough surgery and shakes your confidence in what life now has in store for you. Will you ever be the same? After going through all of this, will you ever be better? The trick I believe is to counter all the negative thoughts against what you have to be grateful for. You survived. You are going to get well. Recovery is going to be long and in a noisey environment of perhaps daily conflict this may look as if healing may never come to you.
Sure it will. Really, is this a whole lot worse than having a good bout of the flu? Right now it hurts but each day will get better. You'll see.
Someday those girls are going to grow up and you are going to be there to see it and enjoy it. You really are their world and now it is up to you to muddle through like you always do and get about the uneasy chore of living. Have a good cry if you need to but then you have to shake yourself off and get going. If you can't, then you need some medical intervention and don't wait.
I'm sure it is disappointing you don't feel immediately better. You won't because it doesn't work that way. If you want to feel better you are now going to have to be walking every day whether or not you feel like it. Right now, everything you do or don't do is ALL about YOU. You are important.
Have a good cry and then start to think about tomorrow because when tomorrow comes, you'll want to be prepared. Cheryl, Ontario
Good Morning Michelle
Won't have my surgery until March 18th so can't say I know how you feel. I do believe however that what you are experiencing is normal and will pass. As you heal physically you will heal mentally and emotionaly.Just go with your feelings, we women know a good cry helps sometimes. I already find that the last couple of weeks when I get a special card or guestbook entry I get teary eyed. Just know there are a lot of people including those of us on this Heart Valve Journal are here to be a sounding board and to help in any way we can. Now SMILE!1
Hi Michelle, I am interested to hear how you are coping now you are home from surgery as I am having an aortic valve replacement on Tuesday 2 March. Trying to keep yourself in the company of positive people would be of huge benefit to you I would say. Are you booked in for any Cardio rehab? Maybe someone from there would be able to shed some light on strategies to help you as well.
Take care, Thalia Faunt, Ballarat, Australia
My dear Michelle...i am 14 weeks post surgery and know its hard to believe but it does get better. I am so ssd to read you are having bad days and are miserable...I had these to and what compounded the problem is that we were not in our hown home for the first few weeks of recovery...we were staying with my daughter fist..then had to leave due to a few hiccups in the road. we then stayed with my niece....she is only 23 yrs old and had lost her mom(my sister)her dad and her brother in 18 months so she was grieving and had her own things to worry about. It was a nightmare for me and i cant believe i got through it...but hey here i am to tell the story. We currently live in the Middle Eaast-and I went back to South Africa to have the surgery...hence had to stay with people when I had the surgery.
All I can say is hang in there and remember every cloud has a silver lining. Know that you are surrounded with much love and support. Wish I could sit with you and hold your hand and talk to you....it is so hard.. I needed friends as well as my family and in the end only the immediate family was there. I keep saying I only started healing when I came home to my own home 5 weeks post surgery....was surrounded with my own things and my much needed support...friends......
I hope it gets better. Adam said in his book that depression is common after surgery. I haven't gone through it, but I can imagine it's got to be about the hardest couple days of your life. Just hang in there.
Patrick in STL
yahooooooooooo----GLAD TO HEAR THAT U R OUT--now u will be able to recieve the well rest u sooooo need amen... cuz, u surly cant sleep in a hospital thats for sure..lisa, plz, just let me know what and when i can bring some food over and what she would like to eat... my email add is : email@example.com or cell 651-4391.. cuz, i would love to bring some food over.. just plz let me know okay.. now as for u little MISSY-(ehehe) STAY IN BED AND GET SOME REAL REST.... cuz, thats were ur healing is amen... but glad to hear that u r home now.. let me know when it would be okay for me to stop by for a visit... okay.. well, much, love, hugs, and blessings being poured out over u... UR cuz-ka xoxo : >
Wow, Michelle. You are already doing great. I assumed you would not be drug-free enough to read this, much less comment on your recovery. That is wonderful news that you are coming along so well. You have been in my prayers, along with some of my friends. We are especially thankful that they did the repair so that you don't have to take that dumb ole medicine. Don't rush it! Also, you are sure photogenic. Your photo journal is great! Love, Susan Erwin
Welcome home, Michelle! I'm so glad you're finally home!!! I'm speaking at a retreat this weekend, but I will come see you (with food) next week, okay? I'll talk to Lisa about when! God is so good! I'm praying for a quick and complete recovery!!! Love you! :)
Welcome home Michelle...I told you how strong and full of life you were. From the updates I have read from you and Lisa, it sounds like the surgery couldn't have gone any better. Our prayers have been answered. Please rest and do what the doctor says...I know you. You will be trying to clean everything and organize everyone. Take good care of Michelle!!
Love and hugs, Karen Booth
Just dropping by to say I was thinking about you today and hoping you are beginning to feel stronger. I'll be watching for updates in your journal. Aren't you thrilled the worst is over? Good luck with your recovery. Cheryl, Ontario
I am very glad that you pulled through the surgery with such good news and everything is going well. Not surprised that you are trying to run marathons and do too much. I am keeping you in my prayers. I hope you gain your strength back soon and get to return home so you can get to a full and complete recovery. REST... REST... REST Love ya girl... =0)
glad to hear that everything is going great, may the Lord- keep covering/pouring out his healing, n peace over u... plz, rest so that ur healing process is fastier so, u can go home and really get some good rest....lol.... hope to c u soon... love ya- big , love, hugs n blessings over u and ur family, kids ka
You made it! You are super fast back to the keyboard, you are tough! I am on your subscriber list and look forward to your updates over the coming weeks. I have my valve replacement surgery on Wednesday, wish me luck...
thats great to hear..... thanks for the updates... just plz, tell her TO REST..... its all apart of her healing process... amen.... : > give her my love, hugs, and blessings , sending her my prayers... her cuz- kristina
so glad to hear everything went so great!!!!! I knew it would.
You have GOT to get your rest. I am glad you have so many friends and family that keep a good eye out for you. I know how strong willed and determined you are. (Bull headed) ha
Your pics on your blog are so cute:)
will keep checking on you.....:) :) :)
thx for the update, i was praying very hard that they wouldnt have to replace it, but, be able to just fix it... amen to answered prayers.. but, plz, take the well, needed time to just rest in the lord... cuz, ur down time is ur healing time... okay, God bless and take care... and get some sleep girlie girl... so, u can get out of the hospital sooner, rather than later. still, in my thoughts and prayers.. God bless and take care... love ya : > kristina abernathy