TEE test and anxiety

Journal posted on January 10, 2015

After meeting with my cardiologist last month, I had a TEE test completed. That sure wasn't fun! I did not fall asleep after the initial meds were given through my IV, so they doubled it... and I was still awake for the entire procedure. I was definitely more relaxed, but vividly remember everything... and the gagging! That was possibly the most uncomfortable procedure I have ever been through.. definitely was worse than the two amniocentesis procedures I had with my pregnancies! My initial echo had shown me to have moderate regurgitation, but the TEE showed it to be at the mild level. I have mitral valve prolapse as well and my aortic, mitral and tricuspid valves were all listed as "myxomatous". I asked the doctor what this meant and he just said that there was a weakness in the tissues but that the tricuspid and mitral were both functioning fine. Has anyone else head of this word to describe their valve(s)? I refuse to google anymore... because google has caused entirely too many panic attacks. Speaking of which, I feel like since my diagnosis in early December, I have been consumed by anxiety and depression. I started taking anti-depressants and am waiting for them to kick in. I feel a constant worry about all of this and obsess over reading and researching as much as possible. I feel like it is more the aneurysm part that has me so turned upside down. I am trying so hard to figure out how to deal with my "new normal" and accept this as part of me and move on... but I am still very much in the "why me" phase and worrying that every single palpitation, twinge or pain means something significant. My cardiologist does not have the best bedside manner and the very first thing he said to me when he walked in the room... before even introducing himself was "you're not panicking over THIS, are you??" and looked at me incredulously. I told him that yes, I was, and he plainly told me not to and that my husband, who works on an offshore oil rig, was at much more risk than me and that if I wanted to worry about something, worry about that. I have a second opinion coming up with another doctor in the area who is a specialist in CHD in hopes that she will understand the make up of bicuspid aortic valve/ aneurysm a little bit more... and hopefully be a little bit more compassionate. I do want to thank everyone on this site for already being so supportive and informative. I am so glad I found this group!!!

Jim Kelly-Evans and reacted to this

Jim Kelly-Evans Kimberly, so sorry to read about your horriffic experience with your TEE. I had one in December and, ... Read more

Clare Auten Yes. I agree the TEE was the worst. Sorry your cardiologist has a lousy bedside manner. Mine did the ... Read more

Wiliam Height Couple of thoughts after reading: another cardiologist or 2nd opinion is first order. I had the sam ... Read more

Cheryl Batzing Kimberly, I had a very similar experience with my TEE...not very fun and I was awake the entire time ... Read more

Tammy Pilcher Kimberly, I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience! That would be a nightmare for me too! I'm g ... Read more

Amy DiGiovanni Noack Kimberly, sounds like you are taking all the necessary steps and I hope you find a cardiologist you a ... Read more

Daniel Spurgeon I went through the same phases as you, and also dove deep into the research. Depending on the diamet ... Read more

Joseph Ballett Hello Kimberly,it's to bad you had to run into a doctor with bad bedside manners, I hope your second ... Read more

Kimberly Biddick Thank you all so very much for the insight, support and kind and encouraging words!! I appreciate it ... Read more

HI Kimberly, I just wanted to drop you another note, as I felt bad when I read your post and can so r ... Read more

HI Kimberly, I just wanted to drop you another note, as I felt bad when I read your post and can so relate to how you are feeling regarding the aneurysm. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions - you need to move through it so you can get to the acceptance stage - maybe find someone to talk to (a therapist) and continue journaling. I will share I used Clonazapen ( I have no idea how to spell it right now, but it is not an anti depressant) and that relaxed me, yet helped me to stay focused. I liked it a lot actually, but the downside was I did not need it every day, and if you do not take it everyday, you can get dizzy. Need to gradually taper off. I decided after two months to stop - I did not need that on top of everything else. But it did help me calm down before the surgery. Talking to someone other than your family helps, as I feel those closest to you can get emotional, or they just do not know how to help, because they are not going through it, but of course do the best they can. You are doing the right thing getting another opinion. I saw three cardiologists in TN over 5 years - just wanted to see what they all would say. I am not sure why the TEE, I always thought the echocardiogram was great for valves, and the MRA or CT scan for the aneurysm. I also learned toward the end of all this that the echocardiogram picture of my aneurysm size was not AT ALL the same size of the CT scan size. (4.4 vs 4.7, plus it was bigger when he went in to remove). I hate CT scans, but had read they have the clearest picture and I decided the last two years I would have the CT scans instead. Glad I did. No one made me, it was all through reading. You are completely normal to have huge anxiety over this, and I am pretty sure if your cardiologist found out he had one, he would be the same way! It is almost to the point of funny, yet sad what comes out of the mouth of some doctors. Some of them can be so bossy! You have this sight to use - I had nothing but John Ritter's story. You WILL find the inner strength to get through this, and sometimes you have to lean on others when you feel like you do not have the strength, and that is OK. You are SO LUCKY that you know about this in advance. Keep saying it over and over. Think about the things in your life that help calm you down. Is it journaling? Talking to the right people? Yoga, walking? Walking and easy bike riding is good, nothing that will raise your blood pressure and put pressure on the walls. I hated hearing that, as I was used to playing tennis and other things, basically pushing myself, and that took a while to accept also. It seemed like everyone around me was running or whatever, and I felt so left out. I went every six months for an echo,( no radiation) annually the open MRA. Much better experience than the MRI, open, with music, comfy and so fast! In and out! Right before my surgery, my mother's friend's daughter died from an aneurysm. She did not know she had one, went running, came home, lied on the sofa, and died. She was in her 30's. I felt so bad for that person, and you wonder why some of us learn in advance, and some do not. So take this gift that has been given to you, and use that anxiety you have, and drive it towards research and staying on top of things. Because the more you feel in control, the better you will feel. And even then, you will have moments where you are afraid, and that is normal, you are only human.