Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia, Just posted my cardio visit news as a response to Terrie, since she is the Queen of Hearts for the week! Glad your visit went so well. Impressed at new website look. Cleaner and pretty easy to follow. Butterfly kisses and Eskimo PIES! ;o) Love, Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Bless you, Mini Z. Totally in union with you on prayer! Nothing better! I, too, liked the guided imagery apps, but sometimes prefer my imagination. Hugs and more, Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor, My chest tube had to be placed lower because of the breast cancer surgery 2 years before. But nerve pain or not, your not getting relief is abuse in my eyes. Bless Erica for doing her utmost to be your advocate. I think the letters are important. More than one person is responsible for your inadequater care. Gee, a little morphine? Toradol? etc., just in case? OOPS! Unconscionable! Please make sure you get an apology and some answers, or others will suffer, too! So glad you are past all of that! Keep getting better, and I will work at the same! Hugs, Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Kels, Thanks for the positive comment and encouragement. I think we need to keep putting our heads together to make sure people know what their options are and what to do. Hugs, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Kels-
Thanks for your encouraging words. What I would not do to be able to make a difference -- but with our support and encouragement and prayers for each of our sisters and brothers -- along with helping to educate each other as to what can be done, I think we are making a difference. We are all aware that for almost any surgery, the first 48 hours post-op are the toughest, but they should still be tolerable.

Thinking of you and hoping you, too, are doing well, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  My Dear Mia,
Bless you for writing to Gary. You are totally correct that one of the ways to appropriately dose pain meds is to get a dose on board before the previous dose has stopped acting.

Just the time to call the nursing personnel, have them get free to get your med, bring your med to you, and chart it can be excrutiating if one waits to ask for pain med when we start to hurt again.

Just for this reason, my husband frequently writes his pain med orders for the first 24 to 48 hours to be given every four hours or every six hours, etc., rather than waiting until the patient asks for the medication. He does get phone calls asking him if he meant to write those orders without an "if needed" or "upon request" as part of the order. But each one of those calls educates nursing personnel on his philosophy that it is best to stay on top of the pain, instead of waiting for pain to hit. The waiting gets worse because patients who are hurting often become anxious as to when the next pain med will be available. And who does this help? No one - not the patient, not the nurse, not the physician.

Thanks for the best wishes on the appointment. My husband, Jim, is taking me and he is an invaluable person to have along. He understands so much and only occasionally ask a question, but it is always a question that needs to be asked.

I am taking several things with me. One is my log of vital signs since coming home; one is an updated medication list; one is a listing of medication as they are taken during the day with the changes made by the physicians at Cleveland Clinic highlighted, one is the page of orders for cardiac rehab which I know my cardiologist will want and need to have impact on; and the last are a variety of questions about meds and doses, driving, the anemia I now have as a result of the surgery, and things like that.

I have an incredibly good cardiologist, and I think this will be a helpful appointment.

Hope you are already sleeping soundly Little Sis. I will look forward to your post tomorrow.

Please remember to keep Terrie and Popeye (who surely will resurface soon) in your prayers.

Eskimo hugs coming your way, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
Thank you for updating me. I see my cardiologist tomorrow, too. Would love if he were to let me drive, but suspect he may say "not yet". I had noticed Jackie had posted and think it is fantastic all the support you have and that they are behind what the site is all about.

Mia, I would be much more relaxed if I believed that Terrie was getting the pain control she needs. Please look again at Gary's post on her behalf. I maybe gave too long of a response, but I am frankly concerned. If your pain control after surgery was adequate, please jet a note to Gary on Terrie's site letting him no. I hate to see her suffer unnecessarily.

Kudos to you for following your passion of working with the little ones, getting your degree, running your own center, etc. Makes me feel real proud of you, Little Sis. You are always a bright spark when I see that you have posted. I immediately get a lift.

I am going back to prayers for Terrie and for Gary. I pray that they are able to communicate well with each other (they've been doing it for 37 years!) and that Gary, who is described as shy by Terrie, will make an impact on the medical/health staff for Terrie if necessary. I honestly think he loves her too much to let this go on much longer if it is still going on. But I am deeply concerned.

Glad the incision care info may be helpful. At first I thought it was not important enough to post, but I have been through it before and figured that if it was needed no harm would be done.

Bless you precious little sister! Sending butterfly kisses and eskimo hugs back your way! The eskimo sounds good -- it is very hot here, but not as bad as Phoenix, where one of my sister's lives!

Love you very much, Mia, Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor,

It makes me cringe to think of you not getting reasonable pain control post op! My first surgery (this last was #5) was only three years ago, so this has been a trial by fire for me, but I believe God expects me to learn from what I experience, and I ache inside to think someone who does what I do was not there to step in.

I am glad you will do some things to see that you are never subjected to such poor treatment again. I have two more short suggestions. One is that you discuss with your family what happened, and let them know that when you are for any reason unable to speak for yourself or think clearly, you need them to speak up and advocate for you. Simply empower them by telling them we have discussed this, and in this day and age, that is something you need from them. No one knows you better or is better equipped to intervene on your behalf.

The second thing takes more courage, but is important so that what happened to you is not repeated on someone else! Write a letter to the CEO of the hospital/medical center and copy it to the Director of Nursing. You might even mark a copy for the Chair of their Ethics Committee. None of these people are going to want to even THINK what happened to you can happen in their medical facility. And these are the people with the power to change a process problem in their system.

From my perspective, everyone who works with pain care in that facility should become aware that they completely failed a patient and left her to writhe in pain because of assumptions that were made. THIS IS NOT GOOD PATIENT CARE! THIS IS NOT INDIVIDUALIZING THERAPY! It may, in fact, be an indication of health care workers who are so set in their ways that they are unable, without some kind of a shock or prod, to ever change.

I would include in the letter that you expect a response from them telling you what they are going to do to make sure this "possibly system wide problem" is addressed. And I would let them know that you will do everything in your power to see that you and other family members and people you are close to avoid their medical facility until you are told BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION the actions that have been taken.

Eleanor, No medical facility ever wants to learn that they have failed a patient. But sometimes they need a little motivation to take the steps to fix the problem.

If you want to mention that you discussed this on a national website with others, including healthcare providers, to see what can be done about the situation so future patients are not similarly abused (which is what this really was!), go right ahead. The last thing they want is negative publicity. But the site can be another tool. You can tell them that you have promised to update your colleagues and patient advocates who use this site as to any improvements or efforts to solve the problem that the medical facility are taken.

If you need help doing this, feel free to turn to me. I have on many occasions stepped in during care for a family member, friend, or patient I was seeing to advocate on their behalf. I know there were times early on after my head/brain injury that most of my talk was babble. I could not say what needed to be said, and was in terrible pain. I was fortunate that people who knew me, including friends visiting who were themselves health care professionals, spoke up for me.

Sometimes the events in our lives can make us a victim if we allow that. But what occurred can also be empowering if we have the courage to step out and take steps to make a difference in the future. You have just such an opportunity here. And I am behind you 100%.

Earlier today I suspect you saw Gary's post for Terrie S in California. This has the potential to develop into another case of inadequate pain control. If you would read through Gary's comments and think saying something to him may help Terrie, please do so. There is power in numbers, and the more ammunition and support Gary has, the more likely he is to take necessary steps if the situation continues to head the wrong direction.

I have a lot of respect for you, Eleanor, and I am still very upset by what you went through - unnecessarily, I might add. Let me know if there is anything at all that I can do to help you. Everytime we educate a care provider, we are touching not only one life, by sometimes vast numbers as corrective information goes from one provider to another. There can be a major ripple effect, and you can start it with only a few letters.

Love and hugs, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor,

Just to clarify, I have a Doctorate in Pharmacy degree and have practiced in all kinds of settings, most of them in hospitals, some as director and often teaching in the 37 years I have spent in the field.

Fascinating comment by your cardiologist on beta blockers being good for "helping the heart to remodel". For myself personally, the area where I had some hypertrophy or thickening was in the left ventricle. This is pretty common in severe aortic stenosis, and the smaller opening of the valve makes it more difficult to push the blood supply through, and it is the musculature of the left ventricle that does this work.

As for scars, once the incision has healed, there actually are a variety of different agents that people use to make it more comfortable and often to also reduce the difference in coloring between the scar and the adjacent tissue. Adam has mentioned the product Mederma, and it is widely available and has been used by many.

For myself, my plastic surgeon who completed the reconstruction after the surgery for breast cancer had three different things she recommended, depending on a variety of factors. I have used one of them in the past, and since I already had a supply have started using it on the area of my sternal incision. The name of it is Dermatix Ultra - Advanced Scar Treatment. It can be pretty pricey, but my husband found we could buy it on the Internet at a significantly lower price.
It is a transparent quick-drying gel that diminishes scars and is made for all skin types. (It is clear and a tiny bit goes a long way. I put just a bit on my clean fingertip and gently massage it in twice a day.) I have been pleased with the results, so you may want to give that a try. I have also heard of people using Vitamin E, mixtures of Vitamins E and A and a bit of glycerin, and even the use of emu oil. On these I am unable to give you any person data, but my take is that once the incision is healed, you really are free to do what you want to modify or improve your comfort with the scarring that remains.

As for your personal experience with Dilaudid, Eleanor, there are other pain medications available in different classes of medication, so your lack of effect with Dilaudid should not mean there is nothing available for you.

Two years ago my identical twin fell on some sheer ice while taking her dog out before heading to work. She fell in an awkward position and sustained a compound fracture of her wrist. I don't know how she possibly drove herself in to the hospital. She called me from the Emergency Room in tears and was having an issue with both the pain medication and anti-nausea medication that had been given to her. The pain med she had been given was NOT Dilaudid, but something else, and I gave her the name of another drug to control nausea and for pain told her to ask for Dilaudid. So her experience was much the opposite of yours. She called me fifteen minutes later much more cheerfully with both her pain and nausea under control.

What we do know is that there are many reasons why one patient may do well with Med A and another will not tolerate it but do just fine with Med B. Part of it has to do with genetic makeup, but that is only part of it. So there are, unfortunately, times when a certain amount of trial and error has to be done to get the medication or combination of medications that work for a particular person.

For you, I would make sure your chart and medical history indicate that Dilaudid does not provide you with pain relief. It is most likely what is called a paradoxical reaction. But if you have this information with you, and I highly recommend carrying a list of everything you take in doses and frequencies as well as any allergies in a wallet or purse no matter who you are, you are much less likely to encounter a similar situation the next time you need pain control.

Coincidentally, the drug of choice for one of the resulting effects of my brain injury is a drug that my body cannot handle. I suspect it has to do with the active metabolites of the drug, but clearly, the medication does the opposite of the wanted effect. So in talking to my physicians following the brain injury, I suggested trying another drug in the same class that does not have active metabolites, but has to be taken four times a day instead of two times a day. It worked and relieved the dangerous symptom that was occurring from the brain injury. My physician did not think I would even want to try it because it had to be taken four times a day. But the fact is that I would much rather take a medication that works without all sorts of odd effects in addition on a four times a day basis than take something with intolerable effects simply because I only have to take it twice a day.

No two people have the exact same reaction to a given drug. Every time a medication is given to a patient, it is in essence a scientific experiment based on evidence of what occurs in the vast majority of people who have taken the drug.

So I do not think, with the variety of medications available, that there is nothing that will control your pain, Eleanor. The sad part to me is that it appears not enough effort was made to find something that would alleviate your pain. I believe it is out there, but you have not yet been exposed to it. By carrying your medication information, including your lack of pain relief with Dilaudid, I believe you are giving those treating you sufficient information to steer clear of Dliaudid and try some of the other pain relievers that may be the answer to your particular needs for pain control.

Sorry this is so long, but I think it would be a sad mistake to let you go on with the impression that nothing will control your pain. I think the probability is very high that there are pain medications that will work for you - most probably more than one. But obviously Dilaudid is not the answer.

My very best to you, as always, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Michael,
Thanks for your information on the beta blockers. Interesting that your surgeon and cardiologist disagree, but one may have more up-to-date knowledge regarding your health status than the other.

I am definitely taking in my log of vitals since I got home when I see my cardiologist Friday. He is extremely bright and experienced, and seldom makes a recommendation without giving an explanation, so I am looking forward to hearing his view.

I will be sure to post if he has something I think may be helpful to others.

My best to you, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Lynn,
Thanks for the positive feedback! Terrie has been a very active member of our community since she first started posted around the end of May, and I think many of us admire her spunk, frank honesty, sense of humor, and, when needed, encouragement.

I have searched the site and find nothing new on Popeye (Steven). He may not have someone comfortable to be posting on his behalf. I will continue to hold him up in my prayers and anticipate that surely one of us will alert the rest of us once news of how he is doing has surfaced. I will continue to pray for and wish for the best.
Hugs back to you, Lynn!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Tony The Man!
Great to hear from you and I appreciate your perspective on the beta blockers. My full height is over one foot less than your 6 feet 6 inches! Bet you were a great basketball player in your day!

My daughter's brother-in-law has been playing pro ball in Europe for quite a few years since his graduation. He was starting center for a Division I school at 6' 10". Very fun to watch him play.

I do see my cardiologist in two more days and am going to take in the log where I post my vital signs daily. I am hopeful he will cut the dose a bit. I had one day when I was actually unable to get a reading. But I was frustrated enough that I knew it had to be high enough to be adequately oxygenating my brain!

I'll let you know if he makes any interesting changes.

I am so grateful that Terrie is finally out of surgery. I know her surgeon first mentioned the possibility of a Mini Z to her last week, so hopefully she will not be too disappointed. And I am very glad she and Gary went ahead and tested quite a number of remote control chairs and the chosen one is installed in their home where she can look out over the garden. That is an expense that I suspect will pay for itself manyfold since Gary leaves for work so early in the morning and Terrie, while she has good neighbors, does have some long periods where she is home alone.

As always my very best to you as you continue to be an inspiration for the rest of us to look up to, both literally and figuratively!

Many hugs, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia, my sister,
Praying right along with you and looking forward to great news after surgery for our Family Members.

Yes, I tire easily too. Just a part of the body reminding us to give ourselves the rest needed for healing - at least that is what I think.

Enjoy and take care of you!

Hugs and kisses,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Julia,
Great to hear from you and thanks for your info on the metoprolol and BP. I definitely remember your trials with HR and BP and swollen lower legs, and am glad your medical team was able to figure that out and take care of it for/with you.

I see my cardiologist Friday, and with the information you and others have provided am hopeful he will lower my metoprolol dose from 12.5 mg twice a day to perhaps 6.25 mg. I have my date/BP/HR/Weight log for him to see and help to decide.

My lowest systolic BP has been 93, but twice my BP Cuff has failed to get a reading, making me think it may have been quite low on those days.

I appreciate your reminder for patience and the news that your BP went back to the normal range. My HR has not been high, so that is not a problem, but I suspect the metoprolol may have something to do with it.

I have been cutting my pain meds steadily, and now at nearly 3 weeks out haven't taken anything since night before last.

I still have enough bruising to be mistaken for the victim of a truck hit and run, and am achy, but nothing intolerable.

I have been through enough that I think I am pretty good at titrating my meds down, but making use of them when needed.

My sisters, who do not live even in the same state but know me well, have been reminded me not to overdo it -- they know me well! But I am apparently getting enough sleep most nights and sometimes catch a nap in the day.

Our friends and church have been great to bring in some dinners, and that has made life simpler (and delicious) since Jim's work schedule is totally unpredictable.

My very best to you, and thanks for all the information - which is extremely helpful,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor,

Delighted to hear the bear claw is almost a thing of the past. That is great! I am still very achy, but think it is very possible that some of it is from aggravation of muscles moved in the course of the bilateral mastectomies I had for breast cancer in February 2012.

I have been keeping a log of Date/BP/HR/Weight and plan to take it with me to the cardiologist Friday. I have had some BPs as low as 93/53, and those are the ones that concern me. I feel a bit "fuzzy" headed or light headed at those times and would like to get my dose adjusted if my cardiologist agrees.

As with you, I have not had pains that seem to stem from the sternum or incision, but the achy stuff I am having could, I suppose, be referred pain from there. Will see if my cardiologist has any insight and let you know.

Yes, rest, I am working at it and sometimes my body just reminds me.

Take care and glad things seem to be improving for you, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Kels,
Great to hear from you! Hope all is the very best it can be! It is now early afternoon here and I am giving serious consideration to winding things down and joining my little Lacie cat for a snooze. I am about to hit my max on the computer time.

I have been frustrated lately because I have had more than a few posts say they have processed and then disappearing. And I wanted to get at least one more post up for Terrie. She is really the first person I met on the site, and it is feeling good that she will finally get her valve taken care of. She has enough shortness of breath that I am anticipating she will have some immediate relief after surgery, which she deserves.

And are you ever correct about my body letting me know what I can and cannot do! It is just a matter of being patient and backing off of anything that causes issues.

Take care and continue to feel better every day! Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor,
I so appreciate your wisdom and comments. No one said anything to me about a measure and when to call in to the cardiologist. But my systolic blood pressure has been below your limit to call number several times. I intend to talk to my cardiologist about it at my appointment Friday.

The bear claw sounds awful. The chest wall and arm pit pain I am having does not come on as frequently as you describe. It just begins and grows over time, usually as it gets later into the night and then I consider something more than Tylenol.

Hoping they both gradually disappear. That would be a pleasant reward for gritting through it!

Hugs and my best,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Deb, Thanks for sharing your information. Do you sense your own heart palpitations? Or are they picked up on a monitor? etc.? Mechanical or Tissue valve? My best to you, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Deb,
My BP history is very similar to yours. It was normal pre-op and have been quite low in the 2+ weeks since. Your average is not much less than mine. I am not sure if I'm having heart palpitations. I don't think so, but anticipate my cardiologist will at least address the question Friday when I pose it to him.

Wishing you the very best with blessings and healing,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Meredith,

Thanks for sharing your insight! The PT info is a great idea. Someone is coming to the house to evaluate my status in that regard tomorrow afternoon..

As for the beta blockers, I was started on 12.5 mg twice a day, and it is definitely noticed. Guess I will see what my cardiologist thinks about the blood pressure and heart rate results when I see him Friday.

Just got a call from his office and he agrees that having an Echo less than three weeks from the valve replacement would be pretty uncomfortable, so he is cancelling that part of the appointment for Friday. He is a very sharp guy and I'm glad I took the time to ask!

It is so great so many people are doing well! Just keeping my eye out for Terrie and Steve and getting those prayers up as their time is nearly upon us.

Hugs and my best,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mike,
Thanks for your thoughts. My incision is straight up and down along the sternum. I think there is a good chance my problem derives from all of the stretching of pectorals done during reconstruction two years ago for the mastectomies, and this has just worked them even more - best guess. Thanks for sharing and glad you are doing so well 5+ weeks out.
My very best to you for restoration and healing, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
Glad you had a good day out with Joe. Not surprising it wore you out. I initially had pain in my right shoulder and decided that maybe I was not doing enough deep breathing, so took more concerted time make sure my lungs were really full and holding it for a while and the shoulder stuff went away.

Glad your chairs is providing with some alternative ways to be comfortable.

I actually doubt they can lower the bloof pressure I am taking. I take half of what I think is the smallest strength they make twice a day. Will just have to ask my doc about risk to benefitl

Glad we are all praying together! I know God hears even the smallest voice, and we've got to bee making a racket! :o)

Hugs and blessing sis,
Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Lynn,
You are just a font of knowledge, and believe me, I appreciate it. I was not thinking of strokes when considering the metoprolol. But I had a neurologist "try" my on a low dose beta blocker to possible prevent some of the post head injury migraines, and she and my FP agreed after two doses that they could not keep taking my BP that low.

See cardiologist on Friday, so will give you an update. Having the three month time average helps.

My best to you as always,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Terri, I LOVE YOU, TOO!

Actually, I do have a fair amount of experience with patience, including the two five month episodes on my back in bed.

I am trying to do just what I think I have to to get by. Great thunderstorm last night but for the second night in a row I was uncomfortable and Lacie kept stepping in places that need to rest and recuperate, C'est la vie! She finally settled down and has been Ms Mellow most of the morning!

I decided to attack the places where the remains of adhesive from EKGs to bandages, etc., left their mark, so pulled out the non-acetone nail polish remover and rubbed them away. This makes it just a bit easier to see where the bruising starts and ends. Jim thinks "the wound" looks good. Would hate to have him thinking otherwise!

Know time has to be really rushing by for you. Please do your best to push it into SLOW mode and reserve your strength for later. I may just put on one of my more relaxing tapes in your honor and see if a bit of respite can be had on this end.

Love you so much, my very special sister! Glad you have Gary there with you. And I am always at your beck and call.

See cardiologist Friday and already have list of questions. I do not expect that to surprise him!

Take it easy and bathe in the peace and serenity being prayed for in your behalf!

Love & hugs,
Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
I feel privileged to hear from you three days in a row! You say maybe you and Joe will stop and buy something and that stirs up my curiosity as to what you might buy!

I like your quote. I think that is right as long as you believe in yourself! Look at the example of getting through heart valve surgery. That may be one of the hardest tasks we have been given the challenge of facing, but as we keep seeing with our beloved Heart Family, people are managing to do this just fine nearly every day! What a blessing!

I was asked a couple of weeks before surgery what would happen if I did not have the surgery...and it startled me a little. But the answer is so clear that there really is not a choice. I want to live, and in order to do so, my failing heart valve needed replacement before "failing" became "failed".

I so look forward to being able to do more, and know that there are still adjustments I will need to make, but I also know they are miniscule compared to what I have already been through with Faith in God and the prayers of so many. I will never, ever take someone who has prayed for me for granted. I know I owe them a huge debt -- and I think one of the best ways to thank them, even if they do not ask, is to keep them in my prayers.

Love you Little Sis! Turn on that bright smile when you wake up and every day will be that much better!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
I can see I am going to have to work to catch up with you! I post a response and come up to see you have posted something new. Thank you for your thoughtfulness!

Our almost 11 month old Grand Autumn Grace was here with her momma (our daughter) today. She is so fun! Her newest thing is to push a little cart that has a very well weighted bottom. The only problem is that she cannot turn! So when she inevitably runs into something, she takes one hand off the steering bar and starts waving it. If the adults (actually her command audience and servants) do not react quickly enough, she plops down on her bottom and by then usually help is on the way. There were a few times today when she seemed to be working at getting the cart around the obstacle, but it is too soon to tell if that was just happenstance or a conscious effort.

I am thankful to say that usually my new valve does not wake me at 2 am, but I was still awake last night and finally had to resort to a second pain pill. But I usually sleep pretty well and am glad that has not changed much.

Favorite color? I actually like a lot of the colors, but to pick one I would have to say RED! My car, which is a 2003, is bright cherry metallic red and seats 5 with room for luggage if needed. When I bought it I anticipated it would probably be my last car. It has passenger as well as front airbags. I am big into safety, and got this after driving a car I finally realized was not going to help my already brain-injured condition in the case of accident due to its small size. Thanks to all the health problems I have had in recent years, it only has a little over 41,000 miles on it and - this thanks to Jim - looks like new. It is fun to drive and during the winter I refer to it as my sleigh!

Returning flurries of buttterfly kisses and big hugs, and praying for the rest of our family as they either near surgery or adjust to the changes that life with a new heart valve entail! Don't forget to get a laugh in every day -- bet it will get even easier once back with the preschoolers!
My best to you always!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Blessings to you Lynn! I, too, am thinking of you and delighted to hear from you! May you find Joy in every day! Hugs and more!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Blessed Mia,
You are in my prayers each and every day and I don't expect that to change. I am so glad you are past the A Fib days and are working on getting rest and strength as you and your new valve work together to improve your quality of life.

If you note I am not posting daily, part of it is that the laptop I most commonly use resides in a place where with my weight limits I cannot access it on my own. My husband has been a great help, but is busy with work and mowing and car maintenance and all of those good things.

I am carrying you, Mia, now in my "upgraded" heart and wish you sound sleep, pleasant dreams, and the joys of a better quality of life.
With love and hugs Little Sis!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Geri,
I so appreciate your warm thoughts. You are quite correct that traveling quite some distance does add to the already challenging moments of heart valve surgery. Fifteen years ago, Jim and I made a similar trek half way across the country for a surgery for him that was recommended to be done elsewhere because of a physical condition that complicated things. At the time, I "built" extra days into our schedule that would allow us a few days in the city where the surgery was done before admission and after discharge so we could perhaps at least get caught up on sleep before traveling. We found it well worth it then, and I would certainly recommend it to anyone making similar plans.

Tony C-P wrote in his journal after arrival home at the need to rest before travel.

And this time Jim did most of the planning, although dates and such were agreed upon. So this time the projected discharge based on averages in Adam's book helped us to choose some "cushion" dates. The result was that I was able to get in an appointment after discharge and before heading home that answered a number of questions.

Jim also reserved through the airlines a wheelchair for me at each gate (we had one connection to make) and extra time to move from one gate to the other. The last thing he did, which is one reason he is my Knight in Shining Armor, is that he got pre-seating that always put me in the window seat with Jim in the seat next to me, to help prevent me from getting jostled.

We did not even consider flying first class, but Jim chose seats that were not far from the front of the plane, making boarding and de-boarding easier. And since I was using a wheelchair, we were always boarding first instead of amidst the clamor and jostling of bags and bodies.

Traveling was hard enough this way, and I would not like to think of what it would have been like had Jim not paid attention to details many would overlook.

I, too, and recovering and feeling tired and a bit like - early on - I'd been hit by a truck - and now just achy for whatever reason. I still need extra rest time each day, but that is possible and for that I am truly thankful.

I am delighted with the way my heart is functioning and wish you all of the best as your life quality hopefully improves over time.

Hugs, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Eleanor,
So great to hear from you. Today is two weeks after for me. I am very stiff across the front and certainly not doing any weight lifting contests. But I have been pretty relaxed, much more than I even expected to be, especially once we got home. The trip through the airport was a nightmare -- and I can only imagine what it would have been like if Jim had not set up some aids for the journey, including a wheelchair at each gate. Guess the killer was the one gate change in (of course) the largest airport. So 2 hours to move three gates over turned into 80 minutes to change to an entirely different concourse and get the plane at one of the three farthest gates. Just a bit more bone chattering than I would have preferred.

So glad to hear you are feeling more like yourself. I think that while each of us will deal with it in our own way and at our own speed, it does help to remember all that has been gone through (and accomplished!) and that both one's body as well as the rest of us is adjusting not just to all of those changes but also to the meds used afterwards that seem like so small a part of the whole process that they are sometimes overlooked when they may actually be the instigators of some of the temporary changes.
Be well, dear friend, and know that I continue to pray for complete recovery and better for you.
All my best,
Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
You are a delight! I don't think what I did was anything special -- I just thought I saw someone who might be tied up in concerns -- we all are at times -- and maybe would be encouraged to be reminded Who is in Charge! What a blessing to be able to turn all of the issues, big and small, and to be filled with His peace. We know He has reasons for everything, although some of them are beyond our understanding. And there are times when taking a step out in Faith feels much larger than others.

I believe God has us here to learn about Him and then to live as much as we can as Jesus did and be here for each other. There is no question that there are times in the Bible when Christ was extremely upset, overturning tables of business that should not have been in the Temple. But most of the time I think of Him as a Man of Peace who led by example. "Pay to Caesar what is Caesar's..." It's lesson after lesson of do what the Father wants while provoking (even with His miracles) as little confrontation as possible. Sort of "Go with the flow - unless it is evil."

I love how the 23rd Psalm says "He leads me beside the still waters..." That is where I want to be, and if there is a way to share it with my friends, whether it be a grassy rest or an ice cream party, I am all for it!

I pray that you continue to heal and to look forward to the joy you will share with your young charges. I am also relieved that you are past the A Fib. So grow in Strength, Mia, not just in your body but also in your mind and soul and, while giving those little ones such a good start, make this new start of yours one that touches your heart not only physically. I cherish the thought that many of us will be friends for some time to come.

Oh, and as for little Autumn Grace, it will be some time before I can pick her up. But that will not prevent us from enjoying one another. I may have to keep a pillow between her and my sternum for a while, as she is strong and spirited. She is petite in many ways like her momma, but both are long and strong. Plans are shaping up to spend part of the weekend together, and nothing could make me happier.

So, Little Sis, know that I will continue to send you love and hugs and hopes that your life is filled with eyes that don't forget to look for the smallest of miracles and a readiness, in the fast pace of the world, to remember to restore yourself beside His still waters.

Blessings and joy!

Virginia (Ginger) French  Mia,
You are precious to me, and if I have failed to tell you in a way that fills your heart, I apologize. I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments, including your very successful Count Up! Just yesterday a close friend came by and one of the things I was telling her had to do with your facing this surgery head on despite all the confounding factors life seemed to continue to head your way.

I think your work with preschoolers is admirable. There are quite a few things on both the pro and con sides of working with little people. They live a dome what "purer" life when so young. As a result their many outbursts, whether of love and joy or frustration and unhappiness feel to me to be so honest - they are not filtered through the scepticisms and prejudices that are a part of the reactions of many adults.

I think of my own children as preschoolers. One would be telling me about the day, and as an example Elizabeth would tell me about some playtime she and Andie had spent together as a part of their day, and until I got to know them, I would often ask who this particular child was. In identifying the child, the traditional prejudices most people know only too well were not used. Andie, for instance, was the girl with the big smile who had peach skin ad curly brown hair. Jennifer, on the other hand, had peach skin and yellow hair. And one of the boys who played "house" with them that day had brown skin and black hair that is really curly. Young eyes do not see nor do they react tom"color". It's a good lesson for all of us. The stereotypes are not natural but are instead learned.

So the typical cultural denotations were not used. These children had not yet "learned" from the world that some people are "black" or "white" or "Asian", etc. And it felt great to know that at least to that point my children were seeing and functioning in a world that did not separate either other classmates nor caretakers into stereotypes.

So that, to me, Mia, is an advantage I see in those with whom you work as opposed to so many of us who live in a working world filled with adults. The reactions and responses are so much mor apt to be genuinely honest and spontaneous, and the need many of us have learned to use to "filter" what is said or even read are not necessary or helpful.

When a child runs over and jumps into your arms, there is little question that they value you highly and are honestly showing true affection. In a like way, an outburst of tears can considered to be an honest expression of sorrow or sadness.

One child breaks off of a group they were playing with in tears, and when one of the teachers goes to ask the one child what the problem is and tries to console the child, the child is very likely to state their feelings openly and clearly - like "They don't like me and want to let me play," or "They want to play house and I want to play superheroes!" Very often an enveloping hug followed by eye-to-eye contact in discussing feelings helps the child to learn from the experience and often teaches them how to deal with rejection or to learn the early stages of negotiation that they will need so much as they become adults.

I think that is a huge advantage that is a part of the work you do. The honesty of expressions as well as the opportunity to steer children into healthier rather than judgemental attitudes is an extremely important role you have in their lives.

When you first introduced yourself, realizing that the natural tendency is to color what you are saying in the light of someone who is seeking something having to do with a heart valve replacement, my initial thoughts were that you were a new member of the community who was bringing new background and skills to the Heart Family.

As you posted more, it became apparent that you have found work that, while tiring and often bringing new challenges, there was also ample opportunity to really bond with many of your charges and become an important figure their lives. Not many jobs in the "adult" work world require relationship building like this, let alone opportunity and demonstration of affection so openly expressed. It sounded like a positive way to live one's life.

Then, Mia, you shared more of yourself and one thing I know you realize struck me is that your sharing and openness with the preschoolers went far beyond the demonstration of emotions. It also opened you to exposure of all the germs and bits of viruses and colds and illnesses many young children carry.

I cared enough about you by then to be thinking that as the date for your surgery neared your work would expose you to a whole realm of unwanted potential infectors that might had carry unwanted effects, possibly even causing your surgery to be postponed by them. None of us wants that. So that got me to thinking of different things you might be able to incorporate into your work that would be a learning experience for the little ones and increased the ability for you to remain healthy up to your time of surgery. I definitely care about you, Mia, and did not want you to be faced with those circumstances.

And that is why I suggested a " medical or health" unit to take place in your part oh the preschool.

Now, after much positive thought and prayer, I am delighting in the fact that you have a new health status that should improve the quality and length of your life and let you enjoy as freely as one can as a preschool teacher so many different ways to look at and enjoy life.

I am looking forward to the ice cream party and celebration once Terrie's successful surgery has her home recuperating, and to a long time yet to come as we remain friends, share in each other's lives, and, while probable finding that others may want to join, continue our journeys together as we adjust to new valves and the unique aspects of living a life with a valve that needs protection and care to stay healthy and functioning.

I love your free spirit, Mia, and the joy you bring to this site. It is refreshing and renewing as I read each new post you put up! I look forward to many more to come as we all become better friends.

I wish you hope, love, faith, joy and wisdom, along, of course, with the gift of health! I know that is one of the things we are grateful for and will never take for granted!

So sending butterfly kisses and Eskimo hugs and whatever else brings you joy and happiness,
Always, Ginger

And remember - laughter is good for the Spirit! God bless!


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Virginia (Ginger) French  Tony,
It's always great to hear from you! Hope life is treating you fine!
Somewhere in all my years in Pharmacy I came by that bottle opening trick. But even easier is just to ask the pharmacy to fill your meds in non-childproof topped bottles. Usually they have you sign a short waiver to put this into action, and not enough people know about it, but anyone with arthritis who keeps their meds where kids cannot reach them.

Tony, you say you freaked out without the monitors, but I remember a time when you could not wait to go and were ready to catch a ride with any willing helicopter.

I am very grateful for the work and care people did on my behalf. But I think I am best off resting back here in Oz!!! Our cat could hardly stop carrying on about all that had gone on in our absense, but has not gotten more than about three feet away from me since we arrived home!

Take care and thanks for being the inspiration you are! Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Terrry,
Nice to hear from you this way, because unless I misunderstood, yoy are at work right now.

This site has so much to offer for patients and their caregivers, but I even see it as a potential learning tool for Heart valve surgeons who are interested in what their patients are struggling with.

Thinking of you and hoping to see you soon.
Ging

Virginia (Ginger) French  Lynn,
Thanks for the healing thoughts! I knew well before surgery that our front door was not going to be easy for me. Thankfully, the small intercom we installed allows me to find out who is on the other side without opening the door. Then it I want to let them in I can unlock and turn off the alarm and it can be pushed open from outside.

As for me, I know easier ways (below 10 lb. pull) to allow me out if/when necessary.

Amazing all these little things that are in the taboo over 10 lb category!

Take care! No problem continuing to let others open doors for you, I would hope.

Hugs, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Geri,
I appreciate your bringing this up, as it is a topic that has been discussed here at our home. The shower is to small to put a seat in. The bath is fine and does have a handheld part.

The crowd around here is concerned with my safety getting in and out. It's really the balance problems, which I'm hoping will lessen as my new valve does its duty.

But you are right - freshening up in a big way is a big problem for many people. There is that "but it will only be for a few months so why go to the trouble" versus "how far away to you want to be to smell me coming?" trade off!

All my best, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Geri,
Glad to hear all is going so well. Since we were home earlier than we had predicted, Jim has continued to do quite a bit. Today he picked up the mail being held. Much of it is already in recycling, then there is the:
--To read later
--To pay
--To file for reference
--To report to decrease bulk mail.
So I am in the midst of that. But I needed a nap after all was opened and stacked before diving in!

If you have never heard of it, look up 41 lb.org. They are a group trying to make a difference in the average 41 pounds of unnecessary mail and catalogs that the average American tosses. It is so easy to use their help and just send a list of what you don't want to receive again. I peel the front cover off before recycling, then do them in batches. Over 20 on today's list!

As for this homefront, Jim will be back in the land of the working tomorrow, but I am fortunate that church and other friends are bringing in dinners. It is an incredible blessing!

My best, Ginger

Virginia (Ginger) French  Tony, I walked by the Surgeon Row thinking of you each time. I now recognize your helicopter and can see why it was was a great way to use your imagination. Made me smile each time I heard it.

The evening is closing and the last flight of the day is up and out. Thanks for the very solid groundwork you gave me to know what to expect. Without question the orientation to this place was greatly accelerated by so much information from you!

Soon we will be making our way home, and all of the advice you offered, particularly not to travel before restoring some energy and endurance, have been solidly put in place. Bless you for your great words and bright spirit.

With many hugs and thanks, Ginger