I would say you will want someone with you for at least the first week at home and maybe two weeks. You will need to have your coumadin levels checked every few days, so you will need a driver for that. You will also be on A LOT of meds at first and it is nice to have someone keep all those straight. I know I had somewhat of a "brain fog" my first few weeks at home and couldn't remember or process much of anything. So, if you have someone willing to stay, let them do so. They will be very helpful, good company and reassuring to have around.
Godspeed and good luck.....be strong!
Deb Ziegler
On May 8, 2012...
Steve,
I just wanted to say good luck and know that you are in my prayer's. I look forward to keeping up to date with your progress . Technology is a wonderfull thing.
Lisa Zeltner
On May 8, 2012...
Steve, my thoughts and prayers are with you buddy.
On May 7, 2012...
I love you, Fishy!
I wish you all the healing vibes in the universe. I will be "with" you on Monday, and will bring you matzah ball soup later in the week.
xoxoxo,
Evan
On May 7, 2012...
Hi Steve, I had my Mitral Valve repaired April 25th and am one of the ones on the "other" side! Everything you're feeling is normal, isn't it great to have this website and wonderful group of supporters? I felt sorry for myself before surgery too. Every time someone would talk about their trials or complain about something I would think to myself "you have no idea what trials are!"
It's so easy to think about the worst case scenario, but I and so many others from all over the world are proof that we can beat this! I'm feeling stronge every day and soon you will be too! Praying for you this week!
Holly P
On May 6, 2012...
Hi Steve, hope this final week for you is a good one and you are able to be calm as the 14th approaches. Your day to be fixed, what a great feeling that is!!! Best of luck to you as you go forth, my prayers will be with you for the speedy recovery.
It is so true that most of us have never met but we share this bond that ties us all together and it is good, really good to have everyone here to help us through this journey!!!
From my soon to be fixed heart, good luck!!! Your HVJ friend.....Cindy Pastrano
On May 6, 2012...
Hi Steven,
Best wishes to you on the 14th- I, too, will have surgery on 5/14.. I look forward to following your Great progress as we recover! Best wishes, Kate R
Steven Kantor You too Kate! I'll race you to "recovered"!
Best wishes to you!
Steve
On May 5, 2012...
Hi Steve,
Just wondering how you are doing? Hope all is good
Sean Murphy
Steven Kantor Sean,
Great to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out.
I'm doing well. I'm getting ready for May ... Read more
Steven Kantor Sean,
Great to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out.
I'm doing well. I'm getting ready for May 14th and the fix. I feel good. When I get some anxiety about everything I remind myself this whole thing is about fixing me and the procedure is not an option. How have you been doing?
Thanks
Steve
On May 5, 2012...
Hey Stevie... Speedo here! Ok, so i'm an Italian Stallion at the beach in my trunks, but my day job is an engineer geek. I do risk analyses.. the tradeoff I see post-operation is risk associated with mechanical stuff in your gizards vs. a pretty definite re-surgery for bovine. Mechanical lasts forever with risk in bleeding and daily meds. Bovine is smooth, no adverse impact on lifestyle changes, but most likely will require future surgery. I'm over-simplifying, but from a risk-reward I would select Bovine. I would postulate that over the next 10 years meds will improve to where they could potentially extend the bovine life. In the next decade the surgical procedure for valves will improve. I would also use the bovine solution as personal motivation to stay healthy (diet, exercise, and lifestyle). Given your age, zest for life, and lifestyle, my suggestion is bovine. God Bless you buddy. I look forward to seeing you out on the town soon! Luv Ya.. Speedo.
Hi Steve
I forgot to tell you I am 60 years old.
John O'Neill
On May 5, 2012...
Hi Steve
I had my bicuspid aortic valve replaced, anerism replaced and one bypass done at Mayo clinic Rochester MN three years ago. My surgeon recommended mechanical because of my active life style. I like to eat so I run,bike, and swim in addition to farming full time. This is how I keep my weight down around 185.
I feel it took a good year to recover fully from that surgery. I am so glad I don't have to think about a do over in fifteen to twenty years!
Insurance provided me with my own INR test machine so I test once a week with a finger stick. My work levels change so much that I have to check often to know where I am at. I no longer have any problems staying in my range as I evaluate my work level and eat green leafy vegetables to keep it in range. I have not had any problems with bleeding any different than before and I still prefer using disposable razors over electric.
They recommended a Carbometics valve. The only problem is I can't play hide and seek with the grand kids in a quiet environment. It does make it easy to check my resting heart rate though, when I wake up in the morning. I am happy I got the mechanical valve and Warfarin is not the problem that some claim it to be.
I ran my first marathon fourteen months after surgery and then a few triathlons along with 5k and10k runs.
Best wishes on your surgery
John O'Neill
On May 4, 2012...
Did not buy one of the guards. But did not wear button downs for first few weeks as they were uncomfortable for me. Belie e it or not, pull overs worked better for me.
-Mitch Friedman
On May 4, 2012...
Keep up positive outlook. It will serve you well during this. Almost there! Stay strong. Once it is all over, you will wonder what all the fuss was about.
Good luck,
-Mitch Friedman
Steven Kantor Hey Mitch, did you buy one of those sternum protection guards?
Thanks again!
Steve
On May 4, 2012...
hey steve, is eric.. those doctors are pros you will be fine. best of luck! see you soon
love, your cousin eric
Steven Kantor Thanks Eric!
I appreciate it.
I hope you're doing well and hope to see you at my house soon for the ... Read more
Steven Kantor Thanks Eric!
I appreciate it.
I hope you're doing well and hope to see you at my house soon for the post op party! Lots of nurses.
Seriously, thanks -
On May 4, 2012...
Steve,
Good Luck - you will be in my prayers.
Take care,
Nagesh
Steven Kantor Thanks Nagesh. You're a good friend - I appreciate it.
On May 4, 2012...
My take on Mechanical vs tissue: At 52 I went with bovine valve. No problems at all:
December 20, 2010
Bovine Valve vs. Mechanical(Pros and Cons):
BOVINE
-Coumadin
• Give up Physical Job or Activity:
• I want to be able to work on Tree Farm, yard, etc.
• Go Deer Hunting/perhaps fishing one day
• Football officiating maybe?
• Do all this without my wife worrying about me bleeding to death.
• I can hurt myself somewhat quite often…….
• 1 of 100 on cumiden can have stroke/bleeding
• Chance of stroke less with tissue vs. mechanical
• Monthly blood test
• Cost of medicine/forget to take medicine
• Bleeding while shaving, etc
• Major accident: friend's mother on cumiden that bleed to death.
• Future Elective Surgeries/Dental work
• Past History of Ulcer
-Fellow worker had mechanical valve (16years) still had replacement done.
-Cardiologist:
• Probably gets a trip to Vegas is he “sells” 5 mechanical valves:
• I really think the cardiologist is ok with any decision I make (I was unsure before Secretary call today).
• He was “stand backish” during Surgeons visit, but walked in on the conversation.
• Did not communicate strong opinion back to me via secretary. She stated it was up to the surgeon to discuss questions, etc.
• Stating in initial visit that the “Surgery was not a big deal”…( so therefore I can do it twice)
-Cardivascular Surgeon:
• Gave me choice
• If it happened to him……. His choice is bovine. He would go through the Surgery twice, no question.
• His face, when discussing that the cardiologist had talked about Mechanical exclusively.
• Video from Hospital, about his parents.
-Internet research:
• Cleveland Clinic, in 2009 performed 1,613 aortic replacement procedures, 85% were biological
• Study on biologic valves show, in 40 year old, these valves have a 50% chance of lasting 15 years or longer without decline in function. (I am a little older so that might be a small plus?)
• In discussion on internet, Dr. Gillivov, Cleveland clinic, states that “advances in preservation of tissue valves where they could last 20 years, some do, but count of 10-15 years”; in conversation with 65 year old man, that is replacing valve after 10 years: leaves the option open for Mechanical valve at that age of 65.
-My overall health forward (quit my vices):
-Future surgical procedures for an easy fix, or future of biologic valves longevity.
- Fellow Worker stated “Put a God made valve in”
Mechanical:
Pros:
• Does not have to be replaced: Maybe…………..
• Get Mechanical the 2nd time, if advancements are made in blood thinner/valve
Cons:
• Cumiden
• Some clicking sound
Steven Kantor I don't know who you are but I wish I could thank you. thank you so much for your detailed response ... Read more
Steven Kantor I don't know who you are but I wish I could thank you. thank you so much for your detailed response and words of wisdom. That was so generous of you. Im glad you're doing well. Your feedback is incredibly valuable.
Steve
On May 3, 2012...
Hi Steve.....Sending love and light your way....I know your final decision will be the right one.........love your cousin.....Elise
I was very surprised to get 18 years out of my tissue valve (pig), especially since they told me at the time I had it implanted that it would only last 7 to 10 years(because I was so young). At that time they told me the tissue valves don't last as long in younger patients? Also, something to think about, they say the tissue valves last 15 to 20 years, but the last 5 to 7 years mine had been showing signs of deterioration. And I spent those years just adapting to the symptoms that are associated with a weakened valve. I should have probably had the valve replaced back then. I didn't realize how bad I felt until now, since I have a brand new working valve. So in my experience I didn’t get a full 18 years of great quality out of the valve. At some point you will begin to get all of the symptoms that you have now and then you will know that it's time to replace it again. I ignored my symptoms until I could get up the courage to do it again...
Jamie McGuire
On April 30, 2012...
Steve, if you are looking for words of wisdom in this entry, WRONG place - kick tail, take no prisoners and believe in the treatment. Power of positive thinking and outcome is all you so step up and make it happen - you are doing the right thing which is addressing the issue - whether 25, 45 or 65 - just because your heart is 65 and your outlook is that of a 15 year old means nothing - swift and speedy recovery my friend!
On April 29, 2012...
Hang in there Steve. The "right" decision will come to you at some point. Maybe 10 minutes before they wheel you in, but it will come to you. As I have said to you many times now, the right decision is the one that lets you sleep well at night.
For me, it was tissue. Even though I started this journey dead set on mechanical. I did not want to deal with coumadin and felt reop would likely not be OHS (i.e. cather through the groin).
Stay the course, you are almost there. The waiting is worse than the surgery. You can and will do this. In style!
-Mitch Friedman
On April 27, 2012...
Steve
Choosing the type of valve seems to be by far the hardest decision. I had a tissue valve 18 ½ years ago, so this was my 2nd surgery and I still struggled with the decision. I am 36. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to live the rest of my life on Coumadin, I’m still so young. But, for me the past 18 years with the tissue valve I worried all the time about when it would need to be replaced, I was scared of having the surgery a second time. So, just the thought of having it a 3rd time just wasn’t an option for me. I could do it twice, but that was it for me. So I choose mechanical this time around. The Coumadin hasn’t been that big of a deal for me this far, but sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice, there are things that I want to do, but I just don’t feel like I can now. But, the relief of having the thought in my head that I never have to have open heart surgery again is a huge thing for me. Now I know you can never say “never” there is always a chance of mechanical failure or blood clots, but I am very hopeful and positive that I won’t have to do this again. The choice is such a personal decision, but I think after you make your decision no matter which one it is, you will adjust your life to make it work out the best for you. Either valve will give you better health then what you have right now. Good Luck! I will be thinking about you!
Jamie McGuire
Steven Kantor Jamie,
Thanks so much for your feedback. Were you surprized that you got 18 years out of your tissue ... Read more
Steven Kantor Jamie,
Thanks so much for your feedback. Were you surprized that you got 18 years out of your tissue valve? That seems amazing. As for your current choice, I guess the way we all have to think about this is we're alive! Good luck to you too and I wish you the best!
On April 27, 2012...
Hi Steve,
I feel your pain. Break the decision down a bit. The tissue valve will give you the convenience of your normal routines with the virtual guaranty of a resurgery - during your retirement at the latest. It also gives you the uncertainty of "what will happen to our health care system politically".
The mechanical valve has a good chance of never needing to be replaced. Most of the valves currently used are certified for low dose Coumadin due to their carbon construction. Sure, you need to be a little more careful and as far as the diet goes, you simply need to be consistent. My only real change is that I've put a simple first aid kit in each car.
I am biased - you probably remember, I chose mechanical because I never want to have that surgery again. I also had a significant amout of interior plumbing replaced as well and am healing very, very nicely.
My Coumadin dose is 5mg per day. According to my pharmacist, that is a low dose and it is keeping me in range. I have not changed my diet at all. I eat vegetables - but have never been a fan of the bitter green leafy stuff like spinach & kale.
In my mind the bulk of the decision revolves around two things. First, my willingness to have a re-surgery, and my willingness to deal with another failing valve.
According to the articles I read, the new biological valves may last 15-20 years, however the articles I read also said they may start to become inefficient in 8-10 years. I've already dealt with an inefficient aortic valve for 15 years. I prefer not to have to do that again.
Again, I'm biased and have no intention of "selling" you on mechanical. My only intention is that you think through all the aspects before making your final decision.
My heart ticks - and I like it. It's a great party trick!! My 6 year old will walk by me in a quiet room, stop within about 2 feet of me and say - "Yep, still ticking!"
Hi Steve, I am 50 and also in the "tricky" age. I was all set to go with mechanical until I met my surgeon. I didn't realize that the Coumadin level needed to be even higher than what I was used to, because of my Afib. That was a big factor in making my decision. In addition, I'm hopeful that in 15-20 years, the things they're doing in Europe in terms of minimally invasive valve replacement, will be here in the states. Who know what could happen in 15-20 years with technology? So, protocol says mechanical is the suggested valve. When the world class mitral valve surgeon says, "I'm 55 and I'd go with tissue", that weighs in on the decision, even though it probably shouldn't. Good luck with your decision. It is such a personal decision. Take care. Lily Cardlin
Steven Kantor Lily,
Thank you so much for your response. I'm not sure what we should all conclude when the surgeon ... Read more
Steven Kantor Lily,
Thank you so much for your response. I'm not sure what we should all conclude when the surgeons seem to be the ones encouraging tissue valves. It's easy, I suppose, to conclude they are the ones that operate so of course they'd suggest the path that leads to more operations. However, I think they're also more likely to be connected to technological advancements and progress as opposed to the pure statistical decision process. Either way, I'm hoping we will look back 20 years from now and be thankful we took a bit of an unconventional (not a great word but the best I got) approach and it paid off! Clearly, I hope all of our friends that chose mechanical are ALL healthy and happy with their decision 20 years from now too. Good luck Lily! Steve
On April 27, 2012...
Steven - It was the hardest thing for me out of the entire process. I am 38 and my Cardiologist said mech and my Surgeon said tissue. I didn't actually make a decision until the Friday before the surgery. The Surgeon call and I said Tissue..I don't regret it even though in 20 years it will need to be replaced again. I only have to take an asprin a day. I don't have to worry about bumps or bruises or cuts..I don't have to think about what types of foods I can have.
Yes, The though of having it replaced again is daunting but my surgeon says along with all the data I could gather is doing it twice is no more risky than the 1st time except I will just be a bit older.
I spoke to my wife about it and she seemed a little freaked out by the possibility of being able to hear my valve tick with a mechanical one..haha
I debated with my cardiologist often but now it's done it doesn't come up at all. We just talk about healing and how often I will need to come back and see him.
Truth is at our ages there is not really a wrong choice..It's what and how we want to live our lives and for me I wanted to live it as close to not have any restrictions while my kids were in the young ages of their lives..
Good Luck my friend and no matter what way you go you will be FIXED!!
Jimmy Johnson
Steven Kantor I like your logic Jimmy.
Thanks very much and I look forward to tracking your progress over the yea ... Read more
Steven Kantor I like your logic Jimmy.
Thanks very much and I look forward to tracking your progress over the years to come through this site.
I wish you continued health and great times ahead!
Steve
On April 27, 2012...
Hi Steven, another reason to wish we were 25 again, then it would be a no brainer. What type of valve was without question my hardest decision. I am 63...still not an easy decision, still a real possibility that I may need surgery again some day (I finally chose tissue valve (cow). I went back and forth so many times and I wish I could say that I was completely comfortable with the choice, but I still find myself thinking about it sometimes. I think if I had been as young as you, I probably would have gone with mechanical, but then again, you REALLY have to be careful with the coumadin when you have a mechanical valve. If the INR level gets too low (and you won't have symptoms to tell you it's low) you risk blood clots and stroke. I was on coumadin for several years for another heart issue and it really wasn't a problem unless I had to come off of it for some medical procedure, however, it wasn't as critical an issue as with a mechanical valve. And, as you probably have found out, the surgeons that recommend tissue valve believe that the transcatheter method will be perfected and available to everyone soon. If you have a mechanical valve and it fails, they will not be able to replace it with the transcatheter approach, you will need the full surgery again. Like I said, this was my hardest decision. I told Dr. Gillinov that I actually wished it wasn't my decision, I would have preferred to not have a choice, lol. Good luck with your decision!
Linda Dixon, AVR 3/13/12
On April 16, 2012...
I'm right there with you -- May 11th. At this point, we've done everything we can do, now we just need to stay positive and keep busy. People tell me the weeks will fly by....hasn't happened yet, but I'm still hoping!
Selma
Steven Kantor Thanks Selma! I'll be tracking your progress and look forward to sharing mine - So what did you cho ... Read more
Steven Kantor Thanks Selma! I'll be tracking your progress and look forward to sharing mine - So what did you choose?
On April 16, 2012...
Hello Steve,
If there's any fear remember its always worse than the reality you'll see. It's crazy but true.
YEAH!!!!! I love that you found a surgeon you like. Isn't it amazing how reassuring the "right" surgeon is? I agree it is SO important to find someone that you connect with and feel confident about. As you saw, it makes all the difference in the world. I am so psyched for you. More stressful days ahead for sure, but take them as they come and try to bounce back as quickly as possible. You will do great. For sure!
-Mitch Friedman
On April 4, 2012...
Hi Steven, on talking to your 10 year old daughter, it's always best to keep it simple and to reassure her that it's going to be alright. I had surgery last March, my daughter was 11 years old, the whole thing took me by surprise i had no idea i was sick till the last minute, I did have a serious talk with both my daughters and gave instructions to my oldest as to what to do if I didn't make it out of this, the hospital suggested that I write a living will, I was in bad shape so I decided to put my emotions aside and concentrate on my kids by preparing them and making sure they knew what to do.
I made copies of my will so my own siblings would not interfiere with my daughter's arrangments if it came to that.
But everything went fine, the whole thing affected my daughters in many positive ways, they are more caring and understanding.
On April 4, 2012...
Hi Steve, know exactly what you mean I felt a connection with my surgeon right away, he made me feel so much calmer.
I'll be having mine the week before you on May 7th, but sending you prayers hopefully from home. :))
We are going to get through this I know it, God is great!!!
Cindy Pastrano
Steven Kantor Cindy,
This is our month coming up! How are you feeling? I hope well -
Good luck and I look forward ... Read more
Steven Kantor Cindy,
This is our month coming up! How are you feeling? I hope well -
Good luck and I look forward to connecting with you "on the other side"!!
On April 4, 2012...
Hi, Steve --
I agree, having confidence in and a connection with your surgeon goes a long way toward preparing us mentally for what lies ahead. I'll be a few days ahead of you on May 11th so we'll be able to recover together!
Best,
Selma Kaplan
On April 4, 2012...
Steve,
Great to hear that you're moving forward on the path to a mended heart. I too found it highly reassuring when my plan for the surgeon, the hospital (Mt Sinai), and the date were completely fixed. I did fine without getting a recliner for our house (well, okay, fine is a bit of an embellishment. I coped as well as I could with managing being uncomfortable. I alternated using my bed and sofa, with a multitude of pillows, and don't think a recliner as an additional platform would have made any difference)
- Jim Smith
On April 2, 2012...
Hi Steven,
I did not use my recliner. I was fine with my feet elevated while sitting on my couch. I slept in my own bed right away. I used a wedge pillow with other pillows on top and around it. I strongly recommend the travel pillow that wraps around your neck as well.
Hang in there,
Jane
On April 1, 2012...
Steven,
Hi, my name is Amy and I have been home now for 2 weeks post-op (redo full sternotomy for subaortic stenosis).
Recliner: if you can afford it I would go for it, but my comfy couch worked just fine with some pillows. Discomfort is (sorry to say) inevitable for awhile.
For your daughter (&Family), my advise is to gentle warn about how you will look in ICU. My 1st surgery (10 yrs ago) my mom said she didn't recognize me and this time my husband had a really rough time seeing me in ICU (understatement of the year). Maybe if you haven't warn her that you will look pale and have a lot of tubes going in and out to help you heal.
Hope this helps! I am sure you will do great. Good Luck!
Amy R.
On April 1, 2012...
What's up buddy? How did the meeting with the surgeon go this week? I found the recliner indispensible because it was just to painful for me to lie down flat. I slept in my recliner for the first 3 weeks. OK, "slept" is a relative term as you only go an hour or two in the early days post op. I rented a recliner. I know others went with the wedge pillow in bed.
Take care,
-Mitch Friedman
On April 1, 2012...
Steve,
I did buy a recliner. It was really worth it. The first week home I had a problem laying in bed. The chair really helped with comfort.
Sean M
On April 1, 2012...
Rob's experience is that either a recliner or a nice comfortable chair with an ottoman or foot rest is helpful, as the feet do need to be elevated to help decrease the fluid retention. A chair you would be comfortable napping or sleeping in. There are ways to make what you have work. The recliner was wonderful for Rob, did not get a lift recliner like many have and it has been fine. Rob slept in his own bed the first night home using a wedge pillow so as not to be so flat and that works well, still using it by the way. Good luck! Linda W.
On April 1, 2012...
Steve - I don't think you need a recliner. Get a wedge pillow and prop it up with pillows and that will be fine. That's what I did. I have a recliner and don't think I would have enjoyed it. Tend to slide down in the chair.
Not saying anything against them but if you don't have one I wouldn't go get one just for recovery.
Jimmy Johnson
On March 23, 2012...
Hello Steve,
I would like to share a couple more things..looking back at my journey I want to let you know why I picked the Cleveland Clinic. It was ranked the #1 heart hospital in the country for the last 18 years. The mortality rate for the surgery I had is .025%. Those are the best odds I found in their hands.
The reason I picked Dr. Gillinov is because I saw Robin Williams on David Letterman (you can see it on you tube) and he was talking about Dr. Gillinov and it hit me right between the eyes..Robin Williams has fame & fortune why is he going to CC and picking this doctor? When I did my homework I realized this guy was special and low and behold a year and a half later I was at the CC with Dr. Gillinov. He just wrote a book, Heart 411, it is a good read and very educational.
I'm rooting for you and wish you all the best.
Richard Volpe
On March 22, 2012...
Hello Steve,
I had my valve replaced with a tissue (cow) valve. They don't repair aortic valves anymore because they don't last. I didn't go with a mechanical valve because I did not want to be on blood thinners the rest of my life and if I fall I don't have to be rushed to the hospital to see if there is internal bleeding. I don't have to check my blood levels weekly either. They do say that most mechanical valves could last forever. I wish there was a perfect valve out there but there isn't. I went with the suggestion of one of the top surgeons at the Cleveland Clinic, Dr. Gillinov. By the time I'll be ready for a new valve there will be advances in technology and I might not even need open heart surgery.
I have a normal lifestyle, it's as if I never had surgery. It's pretty weird but at the same time it is pretty cool. As for exercise I am slow and steady, I don't want to wear out my valve too soon. I feel very fortunate and you will too. I hope this helps. Now I am going to jump off a cliff, just kidding.
All the best,
Richard Volpe
On March 22, 2012...
Sounds ilke all is going well with you and your daughter and that's great. The fear is always worse then the reality my friend, dont forget that. Doctors, technology, yes you right, were both very lucky its 2012. Thank god its 2012.
Hello Steven, There is no right way or wrong way - I told my 10yr old while I was driving in my car, and for the 20yr old I did it over the phone. My thinking was not to make it toooooooo heavy for the kids and myself. I tried to make it out to be a no big thing. It wasn't easy but I did it. It made things so much easier after that, we started to watch my up and coming surgery on youtube and so much more. On Aug 6th 2010 I had my aortic valve replaced at the Cleveland Clinic by Dr. Gillinov and all went well.
All the best Steven,
Richard Volpe
Steven Kantor Thanks so much Richard.
I'm glad it went well for you and your family! Your approach seems to be a ... Read more
Steven Kantor Thanks so much Richard.
I'm glad it went well for you and your family! Your approach seems to be a great one. I continue to have fairly open conversations with my daughter and is working really well. She's interested and I love just talking with her. I've even told her I'm a little nervous but then we talk about how I'm so lucky because we have the best doctors and technology today. Again, thank you.
On March 19, 2012...
My daughter had that. She has 3 kids and at that time, she had a new baby, a daughter who was 5 and one 3. She just told the girls that she had to go away, that her heart was broken and she was going to have it fixed. They were able to come and see her in the hospital and saw her. They were a little scared but warmed right up to her and when she got home they fought of you was going to take care of mommy. Of course I was there to help with the baby as well. I wouldnt go with anything that could possible happen just keep it as positive as possible. They will be fine. Oh my daughters oldest daughter has asberger (sp)snydrome so it was extremely hard on her.
Good luck
For the long haul
Linda H
On March 19, 2012...
Man you ask a lot of questions....... Stop it! Just kidding Bro!
My oldest is 11. I had thought about writing them letters if the worst was to happen, writing my wife a letter and details about where I keep important docs, etc. I even wondered the same thing, aren't I doing my daughter a disservice by not preparing her for the worst? Them you know what, I chucked it all. I decided to be an optimist and never wrote the letters.
We never got heavy with our kids and just told them I had someting that needed to be fixed. I did lightly check in with my daughter every now and then. As my surgery got closer, she started to talk more about it and I tried my best to reassure her when you asked, if I was scared or nervous. I simply told her, just like she gets calm when I tell her everything would be all right, I got clam when the best surgeon in the world told me everything would be all right. I agree Steve, kids as young as our really can't handle the heavy stuff. They just want to know their dad will be ok. And you will be. If the absolute worst happens, there is no way any of us, especially younger children can be prepared, so why stress them out. But you will be fine, so don't you stress either!
I sought the opinion of 2 surgeons. After meeting Dr. Bavaria and speaking with him I knew he was the one that I trusted to do my surgery. He answered every question I had in detail (i.e. procedure, risks, recovery,etc.) He told me what options I had and gave his opinion on the types of valves (mechanical, bovine, etc). I also expressed concern about who would do the surgery and Dr. Bavaria told me that he does the surgery. If I had to chose over again I would still chose Dr. Bavaria. In my opinion he is the best. However, the decision is yours and yours alone. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to answer any as best as I can. I know it is scary...but you'll be fine.
Elaine
On March 19, 2012...
Steve, I have been on both sides. I was 14 when my dad had 1st open heart and saw him through another 4 open hearts until his death in his very late 70's. He was always positive, upbeat and don't worry about me attitude. That was perfect for me to hear. Back in those days, open heart was a lot more scary than it is now. I used his positive outlook, many decades later when this year at age 54, I was having open heart. I told my adult children and husband, don't worry...I'll be fine. AND, I was!! I think we are the blessed ones who can be fixed unlike other diseases. I would be upbeat, positive and tell them not to worry. You will be fine and do great!! Janis Kielbasa post op 11 weeks.
On March 19, 2012...
Hey Steve,
Just went through the chat with the kids stuff a few weeks ago. I have 12 and 16 year olds. I just told them that I needed to get this thing fixed. They were like "Oh, can I still get together with my friends that week?". I'm fine with that response!
With me it's a little different since this is a re-op and they have known almost their whole lives that some day I will need another surgery.
My younger one is a little more emotional (at least outwardly). She said she was scared and asked me if I was scared. I was able to tell that hey I already went through this once and while it will be a pain for a week or two I really wasn't scared and neither should she be. That worked.
I told them about a month in advance. For us it will be spring break week and I didn't want them to make a lot of plans only to have to cancel them later.
Let me know if you want to chat. I'm just up the Turnpike from you!
Best, Robert Tucker
On March 19, 2012...
Hey Steve,
Telling my kids was hard. At the time they were 8,5,6months. Believe it or not my 5 year old took it worse then my 8 year old. We told them that daddy needed surgery to fix his heart and that everything would be fine. I never wanted to let them know otherwise. Almost 2 years later they dont even think about now. Hope that helps. I read another comment about Dr. Baveria on another post. He did the surgery. No he has other docs in there but on my post op note he proformed the entire surgery that had to do with the heart. There are others that proform the sternotomy. But its all Baveria
Sean
On March 19, 2012...
Hi Steve!
So happy to hear your aorta is fine and "all" you need is a new valve!
As for your question about your daughter . . . I am not a parent of a young child but the chances are VERY high that you will come through your surgery very well with no major complications. I see no reason to upset your daughter with something that VERY probably won't happen.
As I'm sure you've figured out from reading journals, the waiting REALLY is the hardest part . . . try not to obsess and spend your time doing fun things with your family.
Ricki Shine
On March 18, 2012...
Hi Steve -
Just getting caught up on HVJs and see I missed a few of your posts. First off, great news on your aorta being in good shape. Just curious, what was your measurement at the largest point?
I don't understand your surgeon's comment either, since you are on the heart lung machine, there will be blood flowing to your brain, so I am not sure what your surgeon was talking about.
Before I decided tissue, I discussed mechanical valves with my surgeon, including the On X. My surgeon said it was still relatively new and he doubted a Coumadin replacement would get FDA approval in my lifetime. So he did not recommend the On X but would have put one in if that is what I wanted. Well, you know the rest of my story on valve choice.
Keep doing your homework, let me know of I can be of more help.
I would say you will want someone with you for at least the first week at home and maybe two weeks. You will need to have your coumadin levels checked every few days, so you will need a driver for that. You will also be on A LOT of meds at first and it is nice to have someone keep all those straight. I know I had somewhat of a "brain fog" my first few weeks at home and couldn't remember or process much of anything. So, if you have someone willing to stay, let them do so. They will be very helpful, good company and reassuring to have around.
Godspeed and good luck.....be strong!
Deb Ziegler