{"id":1023,"date":"2009-12-24T12:29:15","date_gmt":"2009-12-24T17:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heart-valve-surgery.com\/heart-surgery-blog\/2009\/12\/24\/fear-anxiety-before-heart-valve-surgery\/"},"modified":"2025-05-12T10:43:06","modified_gmt":"2025-05-12T15:43:06","slug":"fear-anxiety-before-heart-valve-surgery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.heart-valve-surgery.com\/heart-surgery-blog\/2009\/12\/24\/fear-anxiety-before-heart-valve-surgery\/","title":{"rendered":"“Any Last Words To Calm My Fears?” Asks Carole"},"content":{"rendered":"

Carole just sent me an email that touches on a common, patient emotion prior to surgery\u2026 fear.<\/p>\n

In her note she writes, \u201cAdam – Next week I am scheduled for surgery due to severe mitral regurgitation<\/a> resulting from a prolapsed valve. I\u2019ve known about this for over 15 years but I can\u2019t believe the time is finally here. Thank you for your book and your blog. However, even with all the helpful information, I\u2019m still scared. As the surgery approaches, I\u2019m not sleeping well – which makes the situation even worse. I have to ask\u2026 Do you have any final pieces of advice to calm my fears? Thanks for all you do, Carole\u201d<\/p>\n

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Like many of you, I can relate to Carole\u2019s concerns as she prepares for surgery. Although statistics suggest most patients live longer, healthier lives after heart valve surgery, that does not stop fear from rattling our consciousness<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So\u2026 In response to Carole\u2019s question, I do have two, final bits of advice specific to fear management that might help.<\/p>\n

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First, a long time ago, one of my mentors shared with me the hidden truth about fear. He taught me that fear is really nothing more than an acronym\u2026 F.E.A.R. That acronym stands for Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.<\/p>\n

Over the past twenty years, I have used this acronym to reduce stress and transform the reality of most \u201cfearful\u201d occurrences. To truly understand this point, consider all that you have feared in your life. Has most of that F.E.A.R. come true? My gut tells me you might answer that question with a simple \u201cno\u201d.<\/p>\n

My second piece of advice is best revealed through a special poem that was offered to me by a friend during a difficult time in my life. While there is debate about who actually wrote the poem (Christopher Logue or Guillaume Apollinaire), the inspirational message is undeniably clear.<\/p>\n

The poem is called, \u201cCome To The Edge\u201d:<\/p>\n

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\u201cCome to the edge,\u201d he said.
\n\u201cBut, we are afraid,\u201d they said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome to the edge,\u201d he said.
\n\u201cBut, it\u2019s so high,\u201d they said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome to the edge,\u201d he said.
\n\u201cBut, we might fall,\u201d they said.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome to the edge\u2026\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

They came\u2026<\/p>\n

He pushed\u2026<\/p>\n

They flew!<\/p>\n

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I hope all the patients out there (including Carole) are ready to fly – metaphorically speaking. Sometimes, as the poem alludes, we just need a little push to get past the F.E.A.R.<\/p>\n

If you like, please consider this a loving, virtual push from me to you.<\/p>\n

Remember… Although cardiac surgery is not risk-less, statistics suggest your surgery is likely to be a success. But, please, please, please take the time to understand your valvular disorder, get a second opinion, evaluate your surgical options, research your potential surgeons and properly prepare for the recovery.<\/p>\n

Related Links:<\/p>\n