Tim's Posts

I am writing this journal entry a little later than I had expected. I had planned to write it last Friday, December 23, which marked the end of the twelfth week since my surgery. One entire season, it almost corresponded to the beginning and ending dates of Autumn. All has gone well, according to plan. I guess the medical professionals have this down to a science. I am halfway through cardiac rehab and am feeling stronger every day. The mild fall and winter (so far) has made it so much easier to get out for long walks, which is the foundation of my recovery. I have always been a bit of a walking man. All in all, I feel basically - normal. So now I know how long it takes after open heart surgery to feel normal. One season. I never would have guessed this at 3 weeks. The medical profession has treated me very well and I am thankful. The rest is mostly up to me. The one lingering "scar", is the scar on my chest. The image of it in the mirror is not such a big deal, I can get used to that, and I rarely go shirtless anyway; it's a small price to pay. But when I see it I am reminded of what has been put in my chest, and the faith I must have in a small man-made gadget that is keeping me alive. The realization causes me to pause. Well, thank you my friends for being with me through this season. I am not sure if I will write another journal entry in this forum. As I have returned to "normal" I have returned to other means of keeping in touch. Most importantly, I have enjoyed spending time personally with many of you, and I am looking forward to more of the same in 2012. Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year. Peace and love, Tim Lockard

I have reached the 8 week mark, post op. So far so good. Barely noticable sternum pain. All of the glue finally fell off, and I'm left with a scar about 7 or 8 inches long. Tom Waits once sang: "I look good, without a shirt." Another friend mentioned something about the "zipper club." I would sooner not have the scar, of course, but that is another story. I have been in cardiac rehab for two weeks and it is going well. It's good to get the excercise and have the nurses share their knowledge with me. I did not know until today that when you reduce the amount of sodium in your diet you pee more. I am sure there is much more that I do not know, but I am learning. I am learning to live with the scar, and more importantly, the knowledge that I have aftermarket parts in my chest. I have been taking long walks through State College and the Penn State campus, and during those walks there are times when that knowledge is far from my thoughts. More later . . . Tim Lockard

It seems like all has been going according to plan. At four weeks I was cleared to drive and that's about the time when I actually began to feel like I could do so, and I actually felt like driving someplace. I have eaten out for all three meals, although not in the same day. It's nice to not feel so helpless. Likewise with work. In the past two weeks I have been getting back into doing some office work a couple of hours per day. I've had the mental clarity to stay focused and the drive to get back into the working life. These Indian Summer days are making me long to get back out into the field. I love working outdoors when the air is cool, and it's tough knowing that when I finally do get to the point when I am cleared to carry my gear and hike in the woods it will be during the worst part of the winter. Aside from some occasional sternum pain (very mild) I could almost forget that I had open heart surgery last month. "Doc, it hurts when I laugh." And, assuming I keep my shirt on when I am in front of a mirror. I don't feel so much like a patient anymore, but there are constant reminders. There are the daily drug cocktails and their associated side-effects, and there are the aches and pains and stiffness of not being physically active. The latter has been helped by the long walks I have been taking. Thanks again to Mother Nature for the Indian Summer days of the past few weeks. And tomorrow I begin twelve weeks of cardio rehab. One hour a day, three days a week on stationary bikes, treadmills, and some light weight training. Again, all very much according to plan. Still, if someone were to ask me today how I feel after the surgery, the most accurate answer I could give, aside from being grateful, would be that I feel older. I am looking forward to the day when that is not the case. I have been told, and I have read it written by others, that when I am fully recovered I should feel better than ever. After all, I have been given a heart valve that actually works like it should. More later. Peace and love, Tim Lockard