Rodrigo's Journal

I would like to share this quote with everyone that will go into surgery, and with those who have undergone surgery. It is also for your family and friends: “If you put yourself in a situation of unpredictability and then find that it's completely possible to accept it, then you become an observer.” – David Tudor And to state the obvious, things are easier when you're the observer because you're not involved; you really don't have to do anything because in reality we've all done everything that we can do. So what else can we do? I found the quote yesterday while doing my guided meditation. But instinctively that's what I did before and after my surgery and it helped me, and I hope and wish that it will help you too.

I´m 37 years old from Mexico City, Mexico, and I had aortic valve replacement, due to aortic stenosis, on March 13th, and just today I got back from the hospital. But now that I´m home I feel overwhelmed by the fact that there are certain things I can no longer eat, and of the things that I can eat it has got to be very moderate. Not to mention the fact that I will have to wait, probably several months, until I can exercise again. And even though I am fully aware that many of these things are for the time being, I feel... somewhat lost. I was aware before going into surgery that I would have to change certain things, but I didn't fully realized that until today when, at the hospital, the doctors and nurses gave me all the information. It hit me like a rainfall of boulders. And now that the surgery is done and that my life will continue... I've got no more strength. I kept the chin up and the spirits high when I was diagnosed last December and while I was at the hospital. But I can't do it no more. I am aware that (hopefully) with time I will regain my strength, but in the meantime I don't know what to do. I feel emotionally weak, physically I know I'm weak at the moment. And I don't know what to do. Never in my life had I felt like this. Never.