Randa's Posts

On this day last year I was at Brigham and Women's Hospital In Boston, having just finished a series of tests and feeling relived that those went well, while knowing that the big surgery was the next morning. There are no words to describe the emotion of that night and the fear I had for the next day. I was not sure I would be here on April 8, 2011. Now - one year later - I can't believe how the time has gone by. For those waiting for surgery, I can't tell you anything to make the anxiousness go away, because honestly, I still have my moments. But in hindsight - it's been an amazing year, I feel well, I don't cough or yawn as much - little things I never attributed to my valve, but now it makes sense. Most of all - I appreciate every day and every one. This site has been an amazing place, and although I do not journal much anymore, I do come back to see how folks are doing. To all my HVJ friends - Wishing you all the best for the holiday weekend.

As I look back at the last 4 months so much seems like a blur. April 7 - surgery day - I was not sure I was coming back. Here I sit 4 months later - feeling great and still so very thankful for every day! I come to these journals often and read what others write. Looking for updates on those that are familiar to me like Ruth and David and also seeing all those folks who are just getting started on their journey. I read the journals of the newer HVJ friends, knowing the fear, anxiety and worries all too well. I have wanted to write sooner, but in comparison to the emotion prior to surgery and even in the immediate recovery - what I have to say now seems very bland in comparison. So I guess that's my message - after all that research, worry, fear, anxiety and living with a mind in a state of cloudiness - life does get back to normal. I just have this little scar on my chest as a badge of honor! I am back at work - which has been very quiet this summer. I am back to routines: vacation, summer camp for the boys, swimming lessons, cookouts with friends. All the good stuff I thought I would never see again. I am now training for that 5K I set as a goal for myself prior to surgery. I went back to the Y - the place where I had the initial episode that started all this - and Carol, who was there that day - said the best thing possible to me... She said I looked relaxed. For those preparing for your surgery - know that the anxiety REALLY IS the worst part. Once it was done - I was just so grateful to stilll be here, the recovery was easy. I had read that on many journals prior to my surgery, and it turned out to be so true. I may not update this site too much anymore, but I come back often and think of all my HVJ "friends." This site has really been a blessing! Adam did a great thing in creating this. THANK YOU!