Mary's Journal

Mary had surgery on Thursday, June 19th. The surgical procedure took 4 hours 20 minutes and included the removal and replacement of the aortic valve and the associated root structure and a bypass of the primary cornary artery. The first 7 hours post surgery were rocky as Mary's sensitivity to anestheic caused her not to wake up, resulting in the inability to remove the ventilator tube and allow her to begin breathing on her own. Following the use of some reversal drugs she finally woke up and things began to improve. She was released from the ICU early Saturday morning and she has progressed steadily since. We have been advised that she will most likely be released from the hospital tomorrow (Tuesday6/24) unless there is an unexpected problem. I am sure she will be posting a personal message as soon as she gets home and is more familiar territory. Husband John

As I noted in my initial story, some days I feel that surgery will happen and things will improve. Other days I feel like there is no way that I will survive. One thing for sure is that four days from now we will find out which feeling forecast the real event. It seems that I focus on specific things I dread rather than the whole experience; waking up with a tube down my throat just terrifies me, though what I want most of all is to wake up here. Basically being out of control is the worst thing; having to hand myself over into the hands of strangers and depend on them to know what to do - and be good at it - is highly unsettling. I have found that I know more people who have had this experience - or bypass surgery - or who have someone close to them that has experienced it, than I realized.Both our kids live on the farm with their families, and the support is amazing, but I'm worried about John, about our daughter and Sara, our granddaughter, about my dogs, about the whole darned thing. I'm not ready to let go. Still, there are plenty of people in way worse shape than me. I just wish I was braver than I apparently am. The thing is, I don't feel good, have no energy, etc., but I still can function basically, and I'm about to do something that's going to take me out of normal life for the summer, if I'm lucky. If not...