Amy's Posts

Today is my 43rd birthday and 12 weeks since my surgery. Reaching Out: I have been working to strengthen my arms and upper body. I need to be able to lift 40+ pounds and manipulate building materials before I can go back to work. I should be close to this by the end of Jan.(at least I want to be). I am ready to start "doing" more. I can now reach up and stretch my arms with only minimum discomfort. Yeah! Stepping Forward: I am walking 1.5 miles at a fast pace nearly every day. I had to take a few snow days friday and saturday. I will bundle up and go back out on Monday. I saw my Cardiologist last week and he said my heart sounded strong and my EKG was normal! It seems we have finally found a combination of drugs that control my blood pressure with out making me dizzy. He is not worried about my BP because he no longer thinks it is linked to my heart surgery. (I have always had high BP). I go to MA General next month for a final check up and CT scan. Quietly Listening: I have had alot of alone time in the last month. Some days I enjoy the quiet pleasure of doing every day chores. Some days I am depressed and have to force myself out of the house. Some days I am simply bored. And some days I am thrilled to have the time to read and learn. I realize that in each of these days I have been healing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This surgery and healing process has changed me. I am not the same person that walked into MA General Hosp. 12 weeks ago. I can not describe the change with words. I can feel it and I am excited to see where it takes me. Thank you to my family, friends, and fellow HVJ's. You have lifted me through this time. I am glad to finally have the energy and strength to pass on the love and support.

Today is 8 weeks since my surgery. The night before my surgery my parents, my son, and I had dinner at one of his favorite restaurant's before I headed to MA Gen. Hosp., Boston. Ironically, last night we celebrated his birthday at the same restaurant. I did not see this parallel until I was preparing to leave. All of the anxiety and emotions I held in the first night (before surgery) came flooding in. I stood in the bathroom and just cried. It is the emotional part of healing we don't talk much about. A good friend told me, it's best to let the tears come and then just keep them company. This time I did enjoy the dinner and the company of family and friends. Two very different nights!

I am starting my 7th week and I am flying solo. Mom and Dad went home Sunday. The house is quiet and I realize I have not really been alone since before the surgery. It is good and alittle lonely. I drove my truck for the first time and it actually felt good. I have definitely turned a corner and am ready to physically do more. I am dying to reach up and stretch my arms! I am not there yet but I can bend down and tie my own shoes! I have said this before but I am still amazed by the power we have to help each other. To step outside of your own personal chaos and do something as simple as send a supportive message is powerful. To do the same and allow the help is equally powerful. Recuperation definitely brings out my philosophical side.