Susan's Guestbook

Hello, Susan! I know we haven't written in a few weeks, but we must be communicating telepathically because I was just thinking today, I haven't written Susan in a while, i need to see how she's doing. Or maybe, I just picked up on the extra strong vibes of love coming all the way from Kansas-I am so happy for you that you now have a new love in your life. Once you have known that extra special love of an animal companion in your life, you really do want to have it again, even while you still miss your departed friend. I know he is happy for you, too, and proud of the courage it took to open your heart again when you know the pain of loss. I hope you two will have a long and happy life together, and take care of each other. Let me know how he is coming along. And how are you coming along now, physically? Now that we are finally getting some cooler weather here in VA, I'm hoping that some of the tiredness and shortness of breath I felt trying to stay active in the summer heat will dissipate along with it. And aometimes it does. I was killing myself working first in the yard on Saturday, and then in the kitchen on Sunday, and then I would stop and say to myself, hey, look at me, I'm doing all this and not feeling tired. But then sometimes like at work tonight, just walking from my desk to put something in the vault (a medium-sized walk, more than a couple of steps, but not too many), and I would just feel so tired, my legs would actually ache. I'm wondering if it's time for me to face the cardiologist again. I don't want to, and the job is one of the reasons. Even though I had been there a year and a half as a temp, and they know all about my history, still, I want to start off as a "new" employee being the "perfect" employee, not one who has to keep running to the doctor. Fortunately, since my hours are the three to eleven shift, I can do things like get my blood tested in the morning before I go, but the cardiologist is always in the hospital in the morning. How inconvenient! And maybe how foolish of me to be worrying about such things when my health should be the only consideration, but that's me. And the job is not the only reason I don't want to go. Maybe it's just the best excuse. Anyway, in the hope that some blood loss is causing me to be anemic, I started taking some iron pills and I'll see if that helps. And like I said, I don't feel that way all the time, like I did when I first got sick. So maybe some of it is real, and some of it is paranoia. I never used to be paranoid about my health at all. Do you find yourself worrying about things you didn't before the surgery? Anyway, except for the occasional tiredness, the job is great, and I have been very happy learning about all the benefits I have now that I had once taken for granted in my life before I had to be without them for two years. And Theo is thrilled that our morning trips can now be made in some cool, crisp air. He certainly got all his energy back when the summer departed. I wish I could run with him when he gets a scent and wants to go, but no way can I do that so I just tell him he has to appreciate that Ii can get out there with him at all, and I try to do the same.Thank goodness he's little. We had a cockapoo once when we were growing up. My brother and I would play badminton out in the back yard, and "Dusty"would grab the shuttlecock every time it hit the ground and run away with it. They are very fun dogs. I think this thing is trying to disappear on me, so I better close before something happens and this all vanishes into cyberspace. Great to hear from you, and again, very very great to hear your news, Theresa & Theo

Hello, Susan. I have had that frustrating experience of writing a message and then watching it vanish into Cyberspace. I try to remember what I said and recreate it, but it nevers seems to come out the same. It's kind of strange to think that we all change that quickly, that maybe something you were just ranting about doesn't seem to be such an issue anymore. Anyway, thank you for your message. I am still so happy about it, it almost feels like a dream, especially because I can't tell anybody at work about it yet. Some of their temps are being let go rather than hired on permanenlt, and they swore me to secrecy unil they make the official announcement. So I'm telling everyone I can outside of work! It is also wonderful to have something besides the surgery/heart valve issue be the 'most important thing about me'. Except for when I have to deal with something specific to it (like our beloved coumoudin), it is gradually moving away form being a central part of my life. I am getting closer to having that "new normal". It will be quite a relief to have insurance again.(You're right, paying for coumoudin is adding insult to injury.)but I will be sticking with the wonderful doctor who got me through this with the best of care when I had none. I wanted to tell you this story because I believe anytime we can find something/someone good in the world we need to concentrate on it, and share it with people we care about. So let me tell you about Dr.Muse. When I found myself unable to breathe a couple of days before Christmas last year, I called a couple of clinics trying to find someone who would see me. I thought I had pnuemonia. He was the only one who would agree to see me, and worked me in that afternoon. Then he didn't just hand me some antibiotics and say good luck, but he gave me an EKG and found that my heart was in A-fib. He sent me to the catholic hospital his clinic is associated with, and they saw my chest filled with fluids, and the next morning an echo showed the cardiologist what the problem was. Dr. Muse didn't just act like he had done his part and was through with me, though. The nurses told me he called every day to check on me. One afternoon, he came by the hospital and sat down at my bedside and talked with me for an hour or more, about everything-physical, emotional, fiancial-I was facing. This was at the end of working his day at the clinic, which is on the other side of town 20-30 miles away. Can you imagine how much it would have cost to get an hour of a doctor's time if you were paying for it??! (that is if you even could!!)This is truly a doctor who is in the profession because he cares deeply about people, and I feel extrememly lucky to have found him even if I had to do it in unenviable circumstances. He has not only given me amazing care, but he has reaffirmed my belief that we should look for the blessing in everything that happens to us. That was just one time I didn't have too hard. Theo was another, but I think I may have already told you about him. That is a really great picture you have posted. You look so relaxed and happy. It is an inspiration! 'Look, you can go through this ordeal and come out on the other side just like this.' Keep smiling, Theresa