How fantastic for you (both of you)!! God is good. Wasn't that long ago that you were dealing with your surgery and an uncaring husband and then the death of your mother. A lot for anyone to handle and now it has all turned out beautifully. Wishing you a long happily married life with a wonderful man. This is coming from someone who just celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary last year. God loves you.
So glad you're doing so well. Looks like 2011 will be an exciting and positive year for you. What are you studying in school? You must be thankful to have the energy for work and school. Your repaired heart is doing well. As for me, think we've finally solved the problem of high blood pressure. Am doing well, walking 10 miles a week and enjoying our beautiful FL weather.Keep in touch.
I would like to call you and talk about the Phen Phen thing. I just got a letter in the mail today saying they want all my medical records dating back 5 years from when I took Phen Phen (that goes back to 1991). I will try to call you this week if that is OK. Linda Stahl
Good Morning Michelle
Thanks for the great news. I still remember how afraid you were the day and night before your surgery. It's so wonderful to see where you are today with your new life. You deserve happiness, so enjoy it. You know Mom is at peace and happy for all of you. Keep us up to date on the single woman scene :D !!!!
You are the first person I have met that had the blessed Phen Phen disease. Mine was discovered 10 years ago and I have been watched since then. In January of this year my echo showed severe progression with pulmonary hypertension. I am meeting with a doctor from the Cleveland Clinic on August 3rd to discuss surgery for my mitral and tricuspid valves. I would like to discuss the Phen Phen Settlement with you, as 8 years ago I received a settlement from them for my then current situation and if I have surgery, I will have to submit for the progression of the condition. I would like you input on how you proceed with yours. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org and my phone number is 520 405 5051. I am happy to hear that your life is getting better each day. Linda Stahl
I am so happy for you, Michelle. You deserve every good thing that life brings your way. You are such a good person. This truly is a new chapter in your life and I am very proud of you. The grace and strength you have shown your children will not be forgotten. Love you, Katherine
I was wondering how you were doing and from the sounds of your recent post, fantastic at last. There must have been a higher plan for you in store - one from which you are cleaning the slate and making a totally fresh start. You are very brave. It's good to be surrounded by those who love you the most. I'm sure your mom is resting easier knowing that her son is being care for as well. Your home obviously has a welcoming heart.
You sound fantastic! I am so glad that life is being good to you and that you have regained your health and your sanity. Your family sound great. All is well in Scotland - the sun is shining today! Love & hugs Penny
How wonderful to hear from you with such good news. You are moving on with your new life with a positive attitude. Years from now you'll look back on the past several months and realize that as difficult as they were, you are a survivor. Post a note every now and then, miss you.
Nice to hear from you. The divorce went through very quick so at least you aren't dragging things out which can be very stressful. You've certainly had your fair share. I wish you great health and happiness.
Hi Michelle, this is my first post on this website. I have been reading over some of the journals and I can really relate with your story. First of all I am so very very sorry about the loss of your mom. I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 5 years ago. It was only 3 months from the day of his diagnosis until he passed away at home with all of us with him. I miss him so much. I also am going through a divorce right now, my husband left me for someone else a couple years ago and now we are going through the divorce process. It has been gut wrenchingly painful. I am so sorry that your husband is filing for divorce. I had mitral valve repair 4 weeks ago and it has been quite a journey. More painful than I ever could have imagined and I've had some complications with fluid in and around my lungs and around my heart. My heartrate is too high but I can't take the med for it because my blood pressure is too low. I just keep praying! I just wanted to let you know I will be praying for you. I know how going through this recovery without a spouse has been for me and and without my dad also and now you have lost your mom and your spouse and my heart brakes for you because I know how painful and lonely it can be. I have two boys. They are 11 and 14 and they are my everything. I am 34 and can't believe the last 5 years of my life and the hardships. I am so grateful for my faith and knowing that God is in control. Thanks so much for your journal, it helps to be able to relate to others. God Bless! Megan
I am very sorry to hear about your mom, she was a very sweet woman. Yes there are rough times in life, but those times are when you look around and see that there are many people that love and care about you, and you can lean on them to help you through. If there is anything I can do, let me know.
You are certainly made of the tough stuff Michelle to endure what you have had thrown your way in the last few months. You really have no choice but to work through each hurdle and become stronger for it. Take care.
Yes, she is no longer suffering. But those who are suffering are you and the others who loved her and will miss her. So glad you had hospice and they made her last days easier. You'll have a tough time for a while, and your heart will feel like it's breaking. So glad your heart has healed so you can do what you have to do. Prayers for you.
Sincere condolences are going out your way today. That was so fast. God does work in mysterious ways in that, as you said, you had to hurry up and get well in order to care for her and thank goodness you were up to the task. You'll never regret having to put aside the time to care for your mom at a time when she most needed you. She knew you were special and I'm sure deeply appreciated everything you were able to do for her to keep her comfortable. My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
My Dear Michelle,
Oh my gosh! Honey, I am sooo sorry about your Mother. She and all of your family will be in my daily prayers. Your Mother has been blessed to have such a wonderful daughter. Trust in God to see you thru this.
The one true strength that will never leave you.
Life's twists and turns aren't always welcome ones. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom's ill health. You just never know what the big plan is, do you? Obviously you had to get well so that you in turn could help your mom and step-dad through this next while. It's not the best way to take your mind from your own woes, but that's the road you are now on. I was glad you wrote in. I will be saying a very special prayer for your mom and all of you. Your mom has a really special daughter in you.
So good to hear from you but so sorry about the sad news of your mother. You are a special daughter and you are a blessing to her and to so many others. Your love and compassion is a wonderful example to all. Hospice will help to keep her comfortable and hopefully ease some of your burden and that of your siblings.It's a difficult process for your stepdad to go through but he already feels your strength. God planned your surgery for the right time so you could be prepared for what you are going through now. Sending prayers for all of you and a cyber hug.Keep us informed. Lots of love.
You are sounding a little more at peace today and didn't even mention your recovery so you must be doing well. Good for you. You have a lot on your plate right now and somehow you are moving forward. Things will get better. Thinking of you.
So happy to hear from you and to know you are doing well and finding peace. We know how good God is when He has complete strangers praying for us. post an update every now and then. Want to know that the strong lady you are continues to be strong and gets on with your life.
My heart goes out to you. I have been in your situation, where you know your marriage is over and you have to face the scary prospects of life on your own. But in my case, at least I did not have to deal with the trauma of recovery from major heart surgery while I went through the pain of divorce. My heart surgery came many years later, after I'd gotten my life back on a much better path.
Take care of yourself, above all. This will pass and things will be better.
Have been thinking and praying for you. In reading some of the entries in your guestbook, I see that one of my bible study friends left you a note. Told you these women are real prayer warriors. Hope each day is better as you try to get your feet back on solid ground. When you're up to it, let us know how you're doing. Sending you cyber space hug.
I cannot believe that someone could be so selfish and be way off base with the timing of such a major decision/change with no regard to what you have been through. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with a marriage breakdown and your own recovery. My husband as been a little impatient with having to run me to appointments and feels that all he is doing is running after me and paying for my medical expenses and I just said yes, for the moment it is the way it has to be at the moment so he too has been selfish and feels that I should be doing more! Some men just don't get it do they? Take care. ox
I just now caught up with your journal. I guess you started when I was still in early recovery, so somehow I missed you until now. My surgery was Jan. 28, but I didn't get out of the hospital until Feb. 8 due to a stroke and other complications.
So sorry about your divorce. Unbelievable timing on your husband's part. Says a lot. I am a pastor in central Florida, and I appreciate your clear faith. Keep hanging on to Jesus. And we know that God is in control and will somehow work all things together for God for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). May you continue to experience God's presence, peace, and healing physically and emotionally.
Hi Michelle, My prayers and understanding are for you. Due to Fran Zilko I have learned about you. I pray first for your continued recovery.I can relate on several fronts-- you are the age of my son, I too have a valve problem (not as serious as yours), and I have been through one of those difficult things called a divorce- the love of my life for 35 years. You sound as if you have a great spirit. I pray for God to sustain that spirit within you and for you to feel His presence at all times. Always, Gayle J. (gaylej email@example.com)
See, one little good thing is that he's moving out until things are ready for you otherwise. Now with so much more to think about you certainly won't have time to dwell on discomfort! Ha. Always a silver lining.
This too you can do and in the end, you will become stronger and better. I hope the rest of your weekend goes smoothly. It's spring and time for rebirth. Things will look brighter.
Am happy he is the one moving out and not you. As you said, now you can really begin the healing you need. Healing is not only physical but emotional and you seem like a very strong woman. But, you will still need loving shoulders to lean on and arms to wrap around you and mostly lots of love. I pray you have all that at this time and more.
Not all men are wimps and some stand by their mate no matter what. I've been with the same beautiful woman since I was 20. It wasn't always easy. Now I'm 50 and we have two great kids together. I know things will work out for you and you have your daughters for support. Sometimes life closes one door and opens many others. I had no idea there was anything wrong with me until a PA told me I didn't sound right. I've got no complaints. My wife has struggled with my surgery, but, I'm doing great. Even as a nurse, she can't believe how I've progressed. I never hit the call button once in the hospital. My wife's advice was pain hurts but it won't kill you. Thanks to her, I don't feel any pain. Wishing you healing for your hurt!
Oh Michelle! My heart is breaking for you right now! Here comes a big hug! Know that you are loved by us as well as God & He will take care of you. Rest in the arms of God & know that He is in control!
Am praying for you!
You need a big hug so here goes! Actually from the beginning of your journals I thought you were a single mother of three teenagers so perhaps something was showing through and you didn't know it. The timing
sucks but it is what it is. Perhaps one day you'll realize this is the door that is being opened for you. Obviously your husband isn't happy and you had to have been feeling that. Maybe he's just done you a huge favor.
I always say let me know what it is and I'll learn to adjust and deal with it. It's the not knowing or the unknown that can drive you nuts.
Take some time to vent, cry or whatever you need to get the frustration out and then take a deep breath and sit and think this out. Without knowing what was going on in your home leading up to your surgery and now, if things were unsettling, then that is no atmosphere in which to heal. You need calm.
Confide in those closest to you, and get busy and find some professional help and then hopefully with their help you'll figure out your next steps. Only your husband and yourself know what has really happened and whether or not there is something to salvage. You are a lovely woman and you have a choice to fold up and wither or move on and blossom. The second requires a little more work but the rewards are greater. You are way too young to wither.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully viable solutions will become clear soon. Keep in touch.
From a oklahoma mans propective,
Now that your heart is strong and you are healthly you are a threat to your ex'x games. He did you a favor, you do not need a man like like that in your life. You are strong, healed and will rise to a much better place. Now have a good cry, hug your heart pillow and fix a nice cold drink..Join us on Grand Lake for a recovery weekend and you will be renewed and ready!!!
My heart is breaking for you. I am teary as I read your journal. Not knowing your personal situation he chose the time when you are at your most vunerable.I have a group of 15 bible study friends whom I've known and worshiped with for 14 years before moving from VA to FL. They are superior prayer warriors. Will start the prayer chain that God really touches your heart and gives you his love and peace in the days going forward. Pray this will not be a setback in your recovery. Please rest more. Will give you my phone number if you ever want to talk. Stay strong, you got through heart surgery, you'll get through this.
I am sorry to hear about your marriage, but as you know, if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it! He is carrying you righ now and I bet if you look down, you will only see one set of footprints.
Keep your head up and know that there are many people hear praying for you!
Even a couple of weeks prior to my surgery when someone would call or send me a gift or prayer I would become very emotional. Got a beautiful card from 15 members of a bible study group I attended for 14 years. This was 1 1/2 years ago when we lived in VA before I moved to FL. Could not get past reading the first few before I got weepy. Like you, don't think it's depression at all but maybe realizing what has happened to our bodies and of course our emotions have to be affected. Just go with it and don't let anyone tell you you're a wimp! Thanks for your posts after my surgery. We are quite a club, aren't we?
I'm so sorry to hear that you feeling so low. It is worth checking on any meds that you are on that might cause depression. I was on an anti nausea dose that did mine. 4 weeks post op I can honestly say that I'm not myself and it's not much consolation to remind yourself that you've gone through the biggest op that you will ever experience. I read on one of the blogs that it is helpful to measure your progress weekly rather than daily but I do believe that it is good to set yourself small targets every day. Nothing major - just to get you through. You will get through this. Warmest wishes Penny (Scotland)
I'm a big old guy, 6'2" and I'm overcome with emotion NOW way ahead of surgery. In speaking about it with my wife I think that there's only so much a person can take and that when the limit is reaches something has to give in reaction. You've just gone through an enormous trauma, and it takes a good long while to get everything back on an even kilter.
Don't let anyone - including yourself - set limits on how you should feel or react or recover.
Hi Michelle- I just read through most of your journal. Thanks for sharing your journey with the rest of us. I'm scheduled for my surgery a week from today and I've been having many of the pre-op emotions you describe even though I have a strong Christian faith. Stay strong yourself and if you remember, say some prayers for me. I'll take all I can get.
i am not telling u what to do, but, u may need to get on some anti depression meds for a while, to help u get up n over this slump.. its not embrassing, just the rite thing to do.. ur body went through alot and dealing w/ family and wanting to work can become very overwhelming at times.. so, talk to ur doc about getting on something even if its for a short time... amen.. love u and thinking n praying for u and ur family to get through this difficult time... amen.. love u cuz-ka keep ur chin and hopes up.. okay and the light will become brighter and brigther as u take the time to take care of ur self... xoxo
I believe many of us experience those emotional times as we go through recovery and the slightest obstacle may be reason for us to open up the flood gates or react unreasonably to something that was said or done. However, if you are going through something you consider to be totally unusual for you and if it is prolonging your recovery, perhaps it's time to see your doctor. You may be looking for professional assurance that you are going to be okay, maybe it's hormonal or perhaps it might be cardiac depression.
I would think our resistance to giving in to emotions might also be related to what type of challenges we each experience such as the tough times some of our friends are going through. Those are things only you can answer.
I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers hoping you soon find peace and contentment. Remember to count your many blessings.